Being Human

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Being Human Page 23

by Patricia Lynne

A warm feeling filled my chest at her words. Sunlight understood. Even my brother didn’t always understand me.

  My gaze wandered down to her arm, noticing a mark stretched across her skin. Carefully, I touched the mark. “What is this?”

  She pulled her arm away and tugged her sleeves to cover the mark. Head tilted down, she moved to her bed and sat. The change in her scent accompanied her withdraw and happiness faded into shame. “It’s nothing.”

  I joined her on the bed, knowing her words were a lie, but feeling no anger towards her. I caught her chin in my fingers and showed her my confusion. “You did those to yourself, why?”

  She shrugged, her eyes flickering to and from mine. I didn’t try to catch her thoughts, but I couldn’t stop the words from sneaking into my head. Words like, So ashamed and I needed to feel alive.

  “I can hear your thoughts and they don't make sense to me. I want to understand.”

  She rubbed at the marks hidden by her shirt. “Sometimes I felt crushed by everything and everyone. There was so much pressure to get better and I tried, I really did, but I never felt better. Pretending wore me out, especially during holidays when visiting family. I’d have to smile like nothing was wrong when all I wanted to do was scream. It hurt so much and I needed to get the pain out and that felt like the only way. To physically feel pain was a relief from the pain crushing my heart.”

  Her explanation was complex, beyond what I knew of humans. Dan would know how to explain it, but I understood this was her secret she needed to keep.

  “I’m trying to understand,” I replied. “Did this help you to survive?”

  “Yes,” she whispered without a doubt.

  I nodded, still not quite grasping her explanation. Hurting oneself felt counterproductive to survival, but if she said it helped her survive, I believed her.

  Still, the marks were bad memories for her and I hated seeing the shame on her face. I wanted to do something that made her smile when she saw the marks. Replace the bad with something good.

  She tensed when I bit the first mark. I moved onto the next, quickly popping my fangs through, but not giving her rhythm enough time to pulse blood into my mouth. I repeated the process down both her arms and forced myself to ignore her yelps of pain. Once each mark was bitten, I looked up and smiled. “Now when you look at them, you’ll think of me and not the pain.”

  A puzzled look flashed across her face, and then she smiled. She held her arm out and happiness bubbled in my chest. As I drew on my bite, she leaned closed to my ear and whispered. “Now I’ll be with you all day.”

  I hugged her tightly. “I think about you all day anyways.”

  Her cheeks flared red. “And what about me consumes your thoughts?”

  “I think about hugging you, feeling your pulse, seeing you blush, hearing your voice and.” I paused, wondering if my next confession would scare her. I peered at her, gauging her reaction. “I think about kissing you.”

  The red deepened and her eyes instantly looked away.

  “I know you don't want me to because the monster tainted kissing for you, but I like thinking about it,” I quickly explained.

  She gave me a gentle smile. “You sound a little worried.”

  “I don’t want you to be afraid I’ll do something you won’t like.” I tilted my head. “That is odd, being afraid to do something because it will upset another.”

  “It’s not odd,” she assured me and placed a hand on my cheek. A thrill bolted through me as she leaned in. Was she going to kiss me? Slight disappointment flashed when she brushed her nose against my cheek instead. “After all you’ve done for me; I hope you can help me get over my fear of kissing.”

  “I'd like that.”

  “And…” She dropped her gaze, her voice turned more timid and red spread across her cheeks. “And you better know what you’re doing too.”

  “I have kissed before. You pucker your lips and stick your tongue out,” I replied.

  Her embarrassment faded and uncertainty filled her eyes. “Who taught you that? Not Mackenzie?”

  Blank eyes flashed before me and the guilt churned as hotly as it had the night I killed my friend. “I had to,” I replied softly.

  “Had to what? Tommy?”

  I turned my eyes to Sunlight, seeing the life and trust burn in them. “I had a friend once and she helped me understand why humans made friends. She lied to me to make me her friend, but that doesn’t bother me anymore.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She wanted me to make her a vampire and I refused. She found where I rested and spent the day with me. When night fell, I killed her because it hurts to be touched during the day and I get hungry faster.” I pulled Sunlight close. Her nose grazed mine and I felt the heat from her lips. “My friendship with her ended badly, but I won't let anything ruin ours.”

  ****

  I paced my cellar, irritation rolling through me. With a growl, I slumped to the floor, then sprung to my feet and resumed pacing. Where was she? Sunlight said she would come visit me. Why wasn’t she here yet? Maybe something happened to her…

  Maybe another monster took her.

  I bolted from the cellar, racing through the night, my thoughts flying. How much time did I have? The monster could have taken her anytime during the day.

  A snarl escaped, anger glowing hotly. It shouldn’t matter if the sun sapped me of my energy or having Sunlight near during the day would make me boil with need. All that should matter was protecting her, all the time. Day and night.

  Lights glowed along the streets, in the windows of houses and everywhere else as I ran. Rhythms thumped around me as the humans moved in the early hours of the night. This wasn’t a good place for me to be, the risk of getting spotted and caught high.

  I didn’t care if I was caught.

  I reached Sunlight’s house and scrambled to her closed and dark window. I knocked on the glass, but unsurprisingly, the other side remained dark. Dropping to the ground, I followed the trails her scent left. They led to and from her house, the freshest ending in the middle of the driveway. I tried to follow the trail of exhaust, but by the time I reached the street, I couldn’t distinguish one car from the next.

  Hurrying back to the house, I pounded on the door, not caring how stupid or reckless my actions were. I knocked until footsteps stopped outside the door and the knob slowly turned. A face peeked around the edge and I shoved everything I had against the human’s will.

  “Where is she?”

  The human staggered as if struck, but answered in a flat voice. “Who?”

  “Sh… Ja… Sunlight… Your daughter!” I struggled with Sunlight’s name. Over the years I had become comfortable using nicknames, but I still feared the power names held.

  “She was taken and I have to rescue her again,” I finished with a hiss.

  “Her friend Mackenzie came and picked her up,” the human replied.

  Confusion filled me. My niece took Sunlight? Why would she do that?

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Jamie said she was going to spend the night.”

  Relief rolled through me. I focused my will on the human and gave one last push. “Forget I was here. When you opened the door, no one was here.”

  The human stared past me as if I wasn’t there and shut the door.

  I headed home, eager to see Sunlight. The house was dark and the door unlocked when I arrived. Rhythms beat behind the kitchen door as faint light glowed along the bottom. I had barely set one foot in the room when the lights flared to life, bodies jumped up and voices yelled.

  “Surprise!”

  My fangs shot out and I jumped back into the darkness of the living room. I hissed as I searched for the threat, but found only my family and Sunlight.

  “I told you he wouldn’t like that,” Dan chuckled. He held his hands out and slowly moved towards me. “Easy, lil’ bro. Do you know what day it is? What time?”

  My eyes darted to the kitchen. A cake sat on the ta
ble near Sunlight and my niece. Rissa stood off to the side, camera in hand and trying hard not to smile. A small pile of presents sat on a chair and a banner above read, Happy Birthday.

  I whirled around at a noise, hissing at the living room shadows. Warmth touched my shoulder. I jerked away and my teeth snapped inches from Dan’s hand.

  “Easy, Tommy,” he ordered. “It’s almost 12:32.”

  “It’s my birthday?”

  Dan nodded. “Yup, come on, the girls spent all day preparing.”

  I relaxed and climbed to my feet. “I don’t like surprises.”

  “I know,” Dan replied as he urged me into the kitchen. “And I warned them vampires are easily threatened.”

  My niece huffed at his words, then bounced to me and threw her arms around my neck. “Happy birthday, Uncle.” She grabbed a present and pressed it into my hand. “This is from me.”

  I tore the colorful paper off to reveal a plain, black box. “Thanks.”

  “Open it,” Dan whispered.

  Finding the seam, I pried the box open and a thin, silver chain snaked onto my hand. Dangling from the chain was a tag with the world Love engraved on it. I looked at my niece. “What do I do with it?”

  She grabbed the chain and secured it around my neck. “You wear it.”

  “Why?”

  “Open Jamie’s next.” Rissa handed me another present before my niece could attempt to explain.

  Sunlight’s cheeks turned red as I opened her present. The box contained thick, woven threads in red, black, silver and gold. My niece sighed loudly at my confusion and tied the threads around my wrist.

  “You’re so clueless, Uncle. You wear this too.”

  Dan laughed as he handed me the largest present. “Here’s one you’ll know what to do with. It’s the usual.”

  The usual meant clothes. I glanced at my own, hole-covered clothing, then set the present aside without opening it. “Thanks.” I looked at the cake. Why was that here? We celebrated my birthday every year at my niece’s insisting, but usually without a cake. That was done the day before when celebrating Dan’s birthday. I caught his gaze when I looked up.

  He grinned at me, a mischievous look in his eyes that reminded me of when we were young and looked identical – except that I looked dead. “You’re not getting out of the birthday song this year.”

  ****

  Impatiently, I waited through the birthday song, as everyone ate cake and as I helped clean up. I felt like half the night had been wasted on birthday activities with my family. All I wanted was to have Sunlight to myself. I was tired of sharing her with them.

  Finally, my family headed up to bed. I pulled Sunlight from the couch and headed for the basement.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “To where I usually rest.”

  Her eyes roamed over the basement and stopped on my corner. Photos of my family were propped along the edge of a blanket that spread across the floor. She drew closer, eyes widening as she picked one up. “It’s you as a human.”

  I leaned my chin on her shoulder. “Yes.”

  She traced her fingers over the image. “Do you remember being human?”

  I shook my head.

  “Why keep the picture then?”

  I shrugged and placed the photo with the others. “I used to think photos were pointless, but then I learned I liked seeing my family when I wake. Would you like to see more?”

  Her eyes brightened and she nodded. We settled on the blanket and she nestled against my side. I sifted through the photo albums and chose the one that had the most images of me.

  She gasped at the first images, pulling the album from my grip and leaning in to look closer. Her laughter rang out as she turned the pages. At the end of the book, she lingered on the last image.

  The one of me and my family on vacation.

  “You look so different,” she said as her fingers grazed over the image of my human self. “I can’t even imagine you being human.”

  “I can’t either.” I tilted my head at her. “Do you think you would like me as a human?”

  “I think so,” she replied and blushed.

  I brushed my fingertips along her cheek. “If I was human, I’d spend every day with you. I’m glad I’m not because I wouldn’t be able to protect you as well.”

  Her blush deepened. “Did you like my present? I wanted it to be more personal so I made it myself.”

  I turned my wrist over and examined the woven threads. “It’s beautiful, like you.”

  She hid her face against my chest and I felt her blush burn my skin. She didn’t move and soon I felt her relax against me and her breathing slow. The door to the basement creaked overhead as I ran my fingers through her hair, Rissa coming down the stairs. She sat on the floor across from me, watching Sunlight sleep.

  “I have to say I am not surprised,” Rissa said. “Dan said you found someone new to obsess over. Should have known it would be Jamie; she really affected you ten years ago. Don’t protest. I know how obsessive you get when you fixate on something. You were the exact same way with Mackenzie when she was little.”

  I closed my mouth and shrugged. “Is that bad?”

  “Not necessarily, but you need to be careful.”

  “I trust her not to call Vampire Forces.”

  “I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about her,” Rissa replied. “What happens if the wrong person finds out how much you care for her? Or how much she cares for you?”

  I buried my face in Sunlight’s hair and inhaled. “I won’t let anything happen to her.”

  “You can’t protect her from everything, Tommy.”

  “I won’t let anything happen to her!”

  Rissa, never afraid of me, pursed her lips, but didn’t argue any more. “It’s too cold for her to sleep down here, so the couch upstairs has been made up for her.” She headed up the stairs, stopping and turning to me at the top. “Promise me you’ll be careful. We’d be devastated if you were destroyed, Dan especially.”

  Careful not to disturb Sunlight, I carried her to the couch and tucked her in. I settled on the floor next to her, stoking her hair and watching her sleep. When the sun grew close to rising, I brushed my nose against her ear and retreated back to the basement.

  When the sun set, Sunlight was sitting on the edge of the blanket. I pulled her close, grazing my nose along her neck and a smile on my lips. She tensed against me and fear started to fill her scent.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t bite. Well, maybe a little nip. You’re so irresistible,” I teased.

  She relaxed and laughed. “Irresistible?”

  “I bet you taste delectable,” I replied and pressed my nose to her ear.

  She laughed and squirmed, trying to escape. “Is this how a vampire flirts?”

  “I don’t know, what is the point of flirting?” I asked, still pursuing her ear.

  “It’s what someone does to make another blush in happiness and embarrassment,” she giggled.

  “I like making you blush in happiness,” I replied. “So yes, I am flirting.”

  Her cheeks blazed red.

  I stopped flirting, but couldn’t stop looking at her or keep my hands off her warm cheeks. Again, I wondered, what would a kiss be like?

  As if she heard the question, she pulled away. “I need to go, I told my parents I forgot some clothes and needed to get them.”

  “You lied?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I wish I didn’t have to, but they’d never let me out of their sight if they knew I was talking to a vampire.”

  I hugged her tightly. “I wish you didn’t have to either.”

  With reluctance she pulled away, but kept ahold of my hands. She swallowed nervously. “Tommy… I…”

  I pulled her back until our noses were barely touching. Somehow I knew she was searching for courage to say three words I wasn’t afraid to speak, but terrified her. “I don’t want you to say or do something if you’re not ready.”

 
; Her body slumped in relief. She pulled out of my grip, keeping her eyes on me as she headed up the stairs. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, right?”

  “I’ll always find you,” I promised.

  ****

  “Mackenzie,” Rissa warned.

  “In a minute, Mom,” my niece sighed. “It just got dark.”

  “You have school tomorrow.”

  “A half day! Jeez, give me some space.”

  “Ten minutes, then get your butt upstairs and in bed,” Rissa ordered, then marched into the kitchen. She stopped short at the sight of me with food. “Tommy, what are you doing?”

  “Making a sandwich for her.”

  Lips twitching, Rissa wandered to my side and observed the sandwich I was assembling. “Ham and strawberry jam don’t go together.” She placed the food back in the refrigerator and pulled different items out. Once the sandwich was finished, she wrapped it in plastic and handed it to me. “This should taste better. Why are you making Jamie a sandwich?”

  I shrugged, feeling reluctant to discuss the topic.

  “Tommy.” The warning was back in Rissa’s voice.

  “I want her to know I can care for her in case she decides to leave her family.” I kept my eyes down.

  Rissa didn’t reply so I slipped out of the kitchen. Dan raised an eyebrow at me, but also stayed silent as I headed out the door and into the quiet night. I turned down Sunlight’s street, clutching the sandwich and feeling slightly nervous. Would she like my gift?

  She instantly appeared when I tapped on her window, smiling and stepping back to let me in.

  I held the sandwich out. “I made a gift for you.”

  She took the sandwich with a giggle. “You made me a sandwich?”

  “You said you don’t like the food at school,” I explained. “So I thought…”

  She cut me off with a hug. “Thank you, I love it. I might not be able to wait until tomorrow, might have to eat it now.”

  I relaxed against her, closing my eyes and focusing on feeling her; her pulse, her rhythm and her life. “I should have never let you go,” I whispered.

 

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