“I see the past with great clarity and the future with such darkness,” she began, in a deep, hoarse voice laced in a heavy, unrecognizable accent. “You are only one child in the family, a sole child.”
“Yes, that’s true,” I exclaimed.
“Your roots are of the South.”
She studied the cards with great intensity and shook her head in obvious disbelief. “You are the image of your mother, but not of the man whose name you keep.”
I sat up and gulped hard. Heath was about to interrupt, but she told him to stay quiet, then placed down the next few cards over the others.
“I see much pain. You must stay close to the light. When it is gone, you will be lost and alone. It is then that you must beware of others around you. It will be then that the deep secrets of the willow will find you.”
“What kind of fortune is that?” Heath demanded when he saw the terror in my eyes. “You’re scaring her!”
“I only tell you what the cards have to offer,” she stated, and sat back in her chair, then she looked to me, and her black eyes hardened and narrowed.
“One day, you will have to choose. Always follow your heart.”
“This is gibberish. We should have never wasted our money on this,” Heath said, helping me out of the wagon.
It was still light when we returned to the harbor. Heath had promised we would be home for supper.
“I will row as fast as I can,” he said. I was quiet, flustered by our visit to the gypsy lady. I had thought Ayden would be frightened and have nightmares, but it was going to be me. She told me things that scared me all the way down to my soul, and because I didn’t understand it, frightened me even more. Heath tried to comfort me.
“She is just full of hocus-pocus. Don’t you pay any mind to her, Lillian.”
Ayden didn’t like to see me so upset; for the first time, he was genuinely concerned about me. He sat beside me on the boat. “She is just a crazy old lady. She was probably, probably—” Ayden thought hard for the word he was looking for.
Heath knew what he was trying to say. “The gypsy was senile. That’s what she was.”
Ayden nodded in agreement and added, “Yup, that’s what she was.”
While Heath rowed us home, I tried to calm my nerves, but my trembling continued. Heath indicated with a quick glance to Ayden that he should do something. I was surprised when he put his arm around me and looked at me to see if it was okay. It was. I smiled, and he smiled with relief, and the three of us laughed.
“Thank you for making me feel better,” I said.
“That’s what friends are for, Lillian. We will always be here to help make you feel better,” Heath said.
I kept my sights on our island and was relieved when we finally returned safely. So was Momma.
Momma took a long-needed breath when the three of us stepped foot on the island. She called us over, and we hurried to sit down for supper. Ayden and Heath sat across from me as we dined outside in the twilight of the warm summer evening. It was near nine-thirty and still there was just enough light to allow us to see outside. Occasionally, Momma and Opal served supper late, usually on Saturday nights, when the next day was the Lord’s day, a day of rest.
The food was delicious, as always, and since Ayden, Heath, and I were all famished, we asked for second helpings.
“I have never seen you eat so much, Lillian,” Momma laughed.
“How far out of town did you kids have to walk?” Edward asked.
“I would say only a few miles,” Heath answered. “It was so much fun.”
“I even got to see something called a Siamese twin,” I said.
“What’s that?” Momma asked.
Heath quickly explained what a Siamese twin was. Momma and Opal seemed horrified—especially Opal. She hurried off and knelt in the distance to throw up. Momma was about to see to her when Opal returned to the table, her face flushed and not looking well at all.
“I’m sorry about that. The thought made me ill.”
“You sure you’re okay?” Edward asked.
Opal smiled her reassurance and that put him at ease.
“What else did you see?” Daddy asked, wiping his chin with his napkin.
“We saw an old gypsy woman,” Ayden announced.
Heath’s eyes flew open as Momma and Opal gasped.
“What do you mean a gypsy woman?”
Ayden looked to me, realizing he had said too much. The three of us quickly tried to think of what to say. Of course, Heath knew right away what to do. He had to lie.
“As soon as we saw her in the woods, we hurried away.”
Momma took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then said, “Thank goodness. Those people are witches. You children stay far away from gypsies.”
Ayden gulped hard as Heath looked at me. He warned me to stay calm, that I had nothing to fear.
“I’m just glad you all had a good time and got home safe.”
“Amen to that,” Opal added.
Heath, Ayden, and I asked to be excused. We wanted to escape before anyone realized we were lying. Before I went inside, I thanked Heath and Ayden and hugged them both.
“That was a close one,” I said quietly.
“That it was,” Heath replied, and with Ayden, walked through the shadows of twilight, back to their house.
It wasn’t long before Momma came up for our goodnight ritual. I was grateful to be safe in my room, on the island, and under Momma’s love and care. No longer did I have frightening visions of the old gypsy woman. Momma’s warm touch and soft voice put all of my fears to rest.
“Did you really have a good time today, Lillian?” she asked as she began to brush through my hair. My hair had grown so much since we first arrived. It hung past my hips. Momma’s hair was only inches shorter, but she always kept it up in a bun until bedtime. Then she spent hours brushing it after she brushed mine. The only time she couldn’t was when she felt ill. Then I would offer, but she would send me away so she could rest.
“I did, Momma. I hope the circus comes next year. Then I want to go again.”
“When I was a little girl, I went to the circus once. My daddy took me. I was about six years old.”
“What was he like, Momma?” Momma hardly ever talked about her daddy, my grandfather.
“He was a handsome man, almost as handsome as your daddy. I was his angel, and he adored me.”
“Does he still live in Savannah?” I asked.
Momma sighed as she ran her fingers through my hair. “My parents are long gone, Lillian,” she said, with a pain in her voice I only heard when she infrequently remembered them.
All I knew was that they had lived in Savannah and that Grandfather had fought in the war of 1812 against the British and moved to Savannah, where he met my grandmother. I tried to imagine what he looked like, for there were no photographs of them. We had none of anyone in our family. I couldn’t imagine anyone as remotely handsome as Daddy.
“What was his name?”
“Whose name?”
“My grandfather’s.”
“Thomas. His name was Thomas,” she said, then cleared her throat and began to fidget. Then she removed herself from the bed and told me to blow out my lamp.
Just before she turned to leave, she gazed out my bedroom window, and after only a moment said, “Mrs. Dalton is expecting a baby come spring.”
“A baby? Really? How exciting,” I cried. Momma didn’t seem very excited about it.
“I suppose so,” she muttered.
“Momma?”
“Yes, Lillian?”
“Why didn’t you have any more babies after me?” I asked. I had often wondered why I had no brothers or sisters. Especially that day, I wondered why I was a sole child. Momma came back to me and took my face in her hands, making me look up into her melancholy eyes.
She sighed then said, “I am unable to have any more babies, Lillian.” She said that with so much anguish that her pain went straight to my heart.
Momma knew I wanted to know why, but that night she wasn’t ready, and as she said goodnight to me, left with eyes full of tears.
_______________
Chapter Five
The very next Saturday was my tenth birthday. It was the first birthday ever that I was going to celebrate with people other than my very own family. In years past, the day came with a gift and a cake and that was all. I had never had a real party. Momma used to tell me one day I could have one; one day we would be able to have the luxury of a birthday party in my honor. As far back as I could remember, I had wished for it to come. Now it had finally arrived.
Opal and Momma spent the morning baking my cake. Daddy told me I didn’t have to do any of my morning chores; I could go off and play. Heath and Ayden asked if I wanted to go fishing. I had just put on my Sunday dress, my only dress for a special occasion. Normally, I would have gone fishing with them, but that day I didn’t want to get dirty.
“Then just come and sit with us. You won’t have to actually fish,” Ayden said. They had their fishing poles in hand and stood waiting for my answer.
“I’ll bait the hook for you,” Ayden added.
“Come on, Lillian. What else are you going to do?”
“I think I want to stay inside and read today. Besides, I’m wearing my Sunday best.”
“But it isn’t Sunday,” Ayden said.
“She knows that!” Heath interrupted. “Okay, Lillian, we’ll see you later.”
I plopped down on my bed and opened my book. It wasn’t long before I would have my school books to study again; there were only three weeks left of fun and play until Heath and Ayden would row in to the mainland for schooling. I would be left on the island to be schooled by Momma. She was a good teacher; Daddy often praised her for my knowledge and intelligence. He’d say, “I know she doesn’t get her smarts from me.”
Momma always told him to never say that. She’d say he was the smartest man she had ever known, and he would smile and kiss her rosy lips.
Though I was smart thanks to Momma, I wanted more than anything to go to school with Heath and Ayden and meet other children. I wanted to see what it was like in a real school house with a real teacher. Each time I brought it up, Momma told me it was out of the question.
“Your father and I don’t want to hear this again, Lillian.”
“Why can’t I be like other children and go to a real school?” I would sob.
Daddy had come down from a long night in the tower and overheard me crying to Momma. “You are not like other children, Lillian. Now, not another word of this,” he commanded.
I didn’t understand why I wasn’t like Heath or Ayden—why I wasn’t worthy of attending school. I was a good girl; I was sure of that. Momma and Daddy both knew I was smart. No school would turn me away. I wanted in the worst way for them to tell me why—just once tell me why.
Although I tried to concentrate on my book, I was too excited about the upcoming evening. Daddy gave me no hint as to what my present was. My presents were always special because Momma and Daddy gave them to me, but just once I did want something I’d wished for. Every time we went to the village’s general store, I gazed up at the dolls. Each and every time. Only once did Daddy notice, and that was the day he told me we couldn’t afford a doll like that. I had rag dolls that I played with; I had wood dolls—but never a real porcelain doll. If I ever did receive one as a gift, I wanted to name her Jane, after Jane Austen, the author of many of my favorite books. Something told me this birthday was going to be different from all others and one of my most memorable days.
I had been working for some time on tying my hair back in one of my prettiest blue ribbons, and as soon as I had it just right, I went downstairs. I was the first one ready for supper. Momma had the table set. But as I lit the candelabra in anticipation of everyone’s arrival, a gust of wind blew them out. From out of nowhere came a powerful storm. The early evening turned dark, and the winds kicked up as the surf began to pound the island. In a matter of minutes, the rain became torrential. Daddy ran in, soaking wet, and flew past me to get up to the tower and light the lamp. I heard Edward calling for Heath. There was a vessel in peril. I ran to see, too, and just as I stepped outside, the vessel slowly broke apart and went to its watery grave. I could hear men screaming for help, their voices crying out over the howling winds and powerful thunder.
Heath and Edward threw lines out from the shore; it was all they could do. The swells were too dangerous to risk taking the rowboats out. A man bobbed up and down in the huge swells not far from the shore, but the rope just couldn’t reach. We stood there, helpless, as one wave after another swept over him and he continued to scream. Then he went silent and disappeared into the mean, angry sea. Edward and Heath stayed on the shore in the pouring rain until they were certain they could save no one. Then they waited the rest of the night for bodies to wash up.
After the ferocious storm passed and the swells subsided, a thick fog settled in. The night was long and daunting. Heath and Edward pulled one dead man after another out of the water and laid them on the cold, wet sand. Momma insisted I go inside, but I refused.
“There is nothing we can do for them except say a prayer,” she said.
“Then that’s what we will do, Momma. We will give them a prayer.”
Momma took my hand, and we bowed our heads. Opal, Heath, Edward, and Ayden came to stand with us as we listened to Daddy ring the fog bell in ten-second intervals. We held hands while Momma gave the Lord’s Prayer for the fifteen sailors and captain that Heath and Edward dragged out of the water.
I didn’t remember it was my birthday until the sun began to rise and the fog turned into an eerie white cloud that blanketed the island. The new day was surrounded by death, and my birthday was over. Heavy-hearted, I returned to my room. It wasn’t long before there was a soft rap on my door.
“Lillian, it’s Heath.”
Heath stood, exhausted and drained, out in the hall. He was cold and wet, but he wanted me to have my birthday present. From his pocket, he pulled a necklace made of sea shells. “Happy birthday, Lillian.”
The gesture brought me to tears, and I fell into his arms. Heath caught me and held me as I cried.
Heath awkwardly put his arms around me, and tried to comfort me. “It’s okay,” he kept repeating. “Please don’t cry,” he said. Then he opened my hand and put the necklace in it. “Doesn’t the necklace make you happy?”
“Yes, yes, of course. I love it, Heath. Thank you.”
“Don’t say anything to Ayden, but he made you a bracelet to match,” Heath said softly in my ear.
I stepped back and looked up at him. “Really?”
“Promise you will act surprised?”
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and agreed. I wouldn’t tell Ayden I knew he had made me the bracelet. I wouldn’t tell him how happy that made me, and I wouldn’t tell him I knew he finally had come to like me.
“I have to get back. We have to row the men to the mainland, to the undertaker.”
I reached for his hand and squeezed it tight, then said, “You did the best you could, Heath.”
He gave me a solemn half-smile. “I wish we could have saved them, Lillian. It just makes me want to leave this place and become a doctor so I can really save people. I won’t have to battle the rain and the wind; I won’t have to fight the sea. I won’t have to stand aside and watch as they get swallowed up by the dark, cold water.” And with that, Heath left to go load up the bodies and take them to the undertaker, where they would find their final resting place.
The heavy fog didn’t lift until exactly one week later. There were times I believed I would never see the sun again. Even though I hated the sea sometimes, I longed for the damp fog to retreat and leave us be, so I could once again gaze out and see the whalers and schooners. For days on end, Daddy worked the light with Edward, the two taking turns. Momma fell to bed, sick with sadness over the loss of the sailors. Opal was left to do t
he cooking and cleaning, while Heath tended to the general maintenance around the houses. Ayden stayed close by as the others were kept busy. When I wasn’t helping with Opal, Ayden and I would go off looking for something to keep us busy.
“Why don’t we play hide and seek?” I suggested. “I bet you can’t find me in this dense fog.”
Ayden was up for the challenge. “Okay, I’ll hide first,” he said, and he ran into the fog. He disappeared instantly. “Can you see me?” he called.
“No, I can’t see you.”
“Come and find me, Lillian.”
My only landmark was the light from the tower. If I didn’t have that, I would certainly be lost. I slowly walked into a foggy world that resembled nothing of Jasper Island. I could barely see my hand in front of my face. In the distance, I heard Ayden laughing and remained on his trail. His laughter was light and silly for a while, then faded. I stopped and closed my eyes, then intently listened for him. He had stopped laughing. All I could hear was the fog bell and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. Once or twice, I heard the steam whistle of a vessel in the far distance, then not long after, I heard the melancholy songs from a pod of whales.
I searched for Ayden by the shore, and over the island, walking slowly, afraid I would fall off the bluff. It was eerie being alone. When I couldn’t find him, I grew tired and called for him. Through the murkiness, I could tell I was very far from the lighthouse.
“Ayden, I give up,” I called. “Come out; come out, wherever you are, Ayden!”
Still he didn’t give up.
“Ayden Dalton, where are you?”
I heard him call my name. I turned in circles, lost and confused as to what direction he was calling me.
“Ayden, I can’t see you!”
“Over here, Lillian.”
I turned again and again, spinning in circles, trying to figure out where he was, then out of nowhere, a figure appeared from the mist. I screamed.
“Lillian, where are you?”
“Ayden!”
Ayden came through the fog, running until he found me, and then he stopped short next to me and stared with disbelieving eye at the ghost. Then the ghost vanished, just as quickly as he appeared.
The Girl in the Lighthouse (Arrington) Page 5