by Riley Moreno
And now, he wanted her to face her attackers in open court.
“You okay?”
Ethan’s hand curled around hers, and Julie left her daydream and looked at him.
“I will be, when this is over.”
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.
“Soon Juliet, this is not going to take long.”
Almost on cue, the door opened. Julie shuddered in her seat as she turned her head to see Leo Barber holding the door for Morales. The cop looked guilty as soon as she entered, and she could not look Julie in the eye. But Leo Barber’s gaze was different. He appeared indignant at anyone challenging his grand scheme. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was here on a Sunday when he would rather be drinking or taking in a show or just standing anywhere else than at the side of his disagreeable witness.
“Miss Edwards,” he said as he moved behind his desk. “Mr. Graff.”
Leo sat as Morales looked out the window. He flipped through some files before giving Ethan a deeper glance.
“Hey. What the hell happened to your face?”
Julie followed Leo’s eyes to the fading bruise on Ethan’s jaw. She had iced it again as they lay in bed, and his eyes were warm and forgiving as he touched her hair.
But now his glare was dark, bordering on fury, as it poured across the desk in the direction of Leo Barber.
“Nothing,” Ethan said through clenched teeth. “What the hell happened to your promises?”
Leo leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head.
“Promises? I promised to get justice for Miss Edwards and her friend.”
Ethan pulled away from Julie and pressed his hands to the desk.
“Well I’m not trying to question your methods, Mr. Barber. But---”
“Then don’t.”
As Leo cut Ethan off, Morales turned back to the room and stepped to Leo’s side. Julie saw him glance up at her for a second, and she thought she caught a hint of concern in his eyes. Maybe Morales wanted no part of this, but she fell in line on his orders. She wondered if there was still a way to reach the cop. She always played it like she was Julie’s friend. Clinging to that hope, Julie moved to her side and took her hands.
“I thought about it. I really did. But I… I don’t know if I can do it.”
Before Morales could answer one way or the other, Ethan interjected.
“So she’s not doing it. Okay? She’s been through enough.”
“Tell that to her friend.”
All eyes turned to Leo. There was something in the way he said it. Like Julie had no concept of how close she had come to death in her own unmarked grave. Julie saw Morales roll her eyes in frustration at his statement.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that,” Ethan said.
“I’ve been called worse.”
Julie’s heart pounded harder in her chest, and she flinched at the sound of a drawer creaking open.
“Be calm, Miss Edwards. There’s no harm in this.”
Leo slid a single cigarette from a half-empty pack and pressed it to his lips. She remembered the smell of tobacco that Pete wore like the devil’s cologne and the many times that he used her bare body as an ashtray to put out the butts. Now she trembled as she watched the waves from Leo’s smoke waft towards the ceiling, and she was about to beg him to put it out when Morales cut in.
“Do you have to do that in here?”
Julie felt invisible as the cop stepped past her and plucked the cigarette from Leo Barber’s lips. Morales shook her head as she stamped it out on the hardwood floor. She sensed that something was going on between them, and she was not sure that she even wanted to know what it was.
“How about we all just take a deep breath?” Morales asked. “Then you can explain it to them like you did to me.”
“Fine,” Leo started as he smoothed his hands down the front of his shirt. “Now let’s listen to the cop and play nice.”
Could he help the condescending tone in his voice, or was it an impossible habit to shake after cross examining countless liars?
“I’ve thought this thing through, and Julie’s testimony is our best chance at victory.”
Ethan snorted as he stared Leo down.
“So that’s it? You’ve been prepping this thing for months, and this is the best you could come up with?”
He nodded, and Ethan looked to Morales. The cop blanched under his eyes.
“And you’re on board with this, too?”
Morales started to speak, but when she could not quite get the words out, Ethan snickered and rubbed his hands across his face.
“That’s what I thought. And yet you’re still agreeing to it. What the hell is wrong with you?”
As Julie stared, Morales’ eyes filled with doubt. It was as if she knew all too well how much this was hurting Julie, how scared she was by just the idea of testifying. Maybe there was a way to get her back on their side.
“Please.”
It was a small word, but Julie spoke it for all it was worth and reached for Morales’ hands.
“Why…?”
Why did she have to relive it? There had to be another way.
“Julie.”
Morales sank to her knees and clutched Julie’s hands.
“Julie, I know it’ gonna be rough.”
“That’s an understatement,” Ethan started, but Morales kept going.
“Okay. Horrible. But if you can do this, we’ll put them away. I really believe that.”
“Do you?” Julie asked.
“Yes.”
Maybe she was parroting Leo’s words, but her tone was so sure and so steady that Julie considered the proposition again. Put her hand on a Bible, give the court her full name, only look her rapists in the eyes to identify them, and tell the whole truth when it came to what she had suffered.
And maybe get some justice for Kim.
“Can you… can you walk me through it?” she asked Leo in a quiet voice. The lawyer was about to answer when Ethan was up and pulling her towards the door.
“Not happening,” he said. “Come on, Juliet.”
“Ethan---”
“We shouldn’t have come here in the first place.”
They were nearly out the door when Leo’s voice stopped them where they stood.
“Don’t you think she’s had enough of people forcing her?”
Ethan turned back, his eyes boiling with venom as he snapped.
“Like you should talk you son of a bitch!”
Ethan flew back into the office and grabbed hold of Leo’s collar. He twisted the lawyer away from his desk and slammed him into the wall.
“No! Ethan, please!”
Julie tried to reach for him, but Morales held her back and whispered for her to keep still.
Leo did not blink, did not flinch, as Ethan’s eyes gleamed with rage. The lawyer had to be well-versed in explosive outbursts, and he handled the situation with a quick curl of his fingers around Ethan’s trembling wrist.
“Easy, Mr. Graff. I don’t want to, but I’ll have you arrest if you keep this up.”
“No!”
Julie forced her way past Morales and pressed her body between the men. Her arms surrounded Ethan’s neck, and she turned her eyes to Leo in a desperate plea.
“Please. Don’t take him away from me. He’s all I have left.”
Without realizing it, she could feel the tears streaming down her face. Embarrassed by yet another show of weakness, her knees buckled, and Ethan eased her back to the sofa. Julie trembled and wiped her face as they all stared to move. Morales quickly handed her a paper cup brimming with ice cold water, and Julie gratefully pressed it to her lips. As Ethan smoothed his hand down on her back, Leo plucked a few tissues from the box on his desk and handed them to the sobbing girl. No one spoke; they barely breathed. She knew that they were waiting for her to make the next move, and she finally turned to face Ethan.
“I… I’d like to just hear him out.”<
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Ethan groaned, but then she touched the bruise on his jaw and forced a sad smile.
“Please. For Kim.”
Blinking hard, trying to stroke the tension from her back, he nodded slowly and murmured something that sounded like assent.
“Okay then,” Leo said. He dragged a chair to her side and rested his shoulders on his knees.
“Nice and slow. That alright with you Julie?”
She clutched Ethan’s hand tightly and nodded. This was just a run through; it was not the real deal. This place was still safe, and if she could not do it here, Julie prayed that Leo Barber would come up with a different strategy.
“Now I’m going to ask you what happened on June the 6th of 2012.”
She hated remembering it. But Leo’s smile met her eyes. And it was more than his mouth. For the first time, in real life or in photos, he seemed human. Julie felt Ethan fall away as she fought through her fear to answer his question.
There was really only way to respond.
“On… on June 6th… 2012… I was kidnapped. I… I was taken and held in a place… in places…”
This was too hard. She turned her head to Ethan’s shoulder. Instantly, his arms surrounded her, and Julie let him hold her as she fresh tears spilled from her eyes.
Cam this not have happened? Can’t it just be a bad dream?
“Miss Edwards?”
Julie raised her eyes to Ethan and felt the fear in his eyes. He wanted her safe. And doing this was like stepping across the pebbles peeking out from a babbling brook. She could easily slip into sadness or, worse, back into their vicious hands if she said the wrong thing. But Kim had no voice, and even if she was resting on a cloud, filling the air with snow, she deserved more from her best friend.
So Julie had to try to tell her story.
“II was taken to different places, every night. And… and I was raped. I was ripped apart. When I begged them to stop, they hit me. Everyone… they… they all laughed.”
Ethan let out a haggard moan, and as she felt his anguish burrowing into her soul, she met his eyes.
“I never told you that. They laughed. It… it was a joke. But…”
Julie fell into his arms and recited the rest into his chest.
“Those nights… they kept coming. You… you can’t know how many times they hurt me. I can’t know. I lost count…”
Her voice fell into sobs, and Ethan just held her as she wrestled with the memories. She wished it gone, but the visions and the violation kept bubbling to the surface. Those men, singled out by Greg, shown the way by Pete, had shattered her. She wept bitterly at the thought of it, yet she held Ethan close. He was not one of the many who had hurt her. His only wish was to keep her safe. Knowing that gave her the courage to lift her head and stare into Leo Barber’s eyes.
“Is that what you want to hear?”
“I don’t want to hear it, Miss Edwards” Leo started. “But I commend you for having the courage to go there. And believe it or not, you’re pretty close to where I need you to be.”
Julie looked around the room. Morales groaned as Leo sighed. But Ethan held her closer as he stared at the lawyer.
“How can you even ask her to do this? Don’t you get---”
“Mr. Graff, I understand these things far better than you do.”
Julie tensed, and she saw Ethan’s eyes fill with the memories of the family he had lost. Did Leo Barber know about that? He had to. The man seemed to have his finger on every pulse, and as he stood to meet Ethan’s stare, he folded his arms across his chest.
“You ever lose someone you love?”
Ethan spat the question like a bullet meant to pierce the man’s flesh, but Leo absorbed the blow and simply hung his head.
“Lose? No. No not quite. But I know what it is to be afraid for someone every single day, and I know the many ways that justice is denied.”
Morales stepped forward. Her eyes shifted to Leo for a quick second, and then she turned all of her focus back to Julie.
“He knows what he’s talking about, Julie,” Morales said. “Listen to me. It turned my stomach when he suggested this. Because…”
Morales looked at Ethan for a quick second. His glare did not melt as she hung her head.
“Because I promised that you wouldn’t have to. And I like to keep my word.”
Julie did not flinch as Morales pressed her fingers to her face.
“But I get where he’s coming from. Pictures aren’t always enough. And Mr. Graff here…”
Morales cast another quick look at Ethan before returning to Julie’s eyes.
“They’ll play it like he was there for some… fun, too.”
At that, Ethan erupted, and as he bolted to his feet, he pounded his fist into Leo’s desk and sent the photographs crashing into the floor.
“I did not know what they were planning. And when I saw Juliet---”
“But you saw Kim first. And it’s your word and theirs. And…”
Morales looked back to Julie as her lip trembled and the crying girl clutched her body close.
“And your word has to fill in the blanks. Everyone needs to hear that you were there against your will. You have to tell them that Kim is gone because they took you and made you do things…”
They made her do too many things, things that she had forgotten for one morning in the snow, but she could never really let them go. Julie looked at Ethan for a single second, and then she lowered her head and sunk into the horror of memory.
“They didn’t care. They got what they paid for. We… we were raped all summer long. I never knew I could hurt so much. I…”
“And that’s why it has to come from you, Julie,” Leo said. “You need to talk about it. I’ll be right there, every step of the way. I’ll help you through it.”
Leo held out his hand, and Julie accepted his touch. His eyes seemed to grow kinder with each passing moment, and she forced herself to speak.
“What exactly will you do?” Julie asked.
The lawyer smiled softly into her eyes.
“We’ll practice, Julie. We’ll explore all the possibilities. But in the end, it’ll just be me asking simple straight questions. Your answers can be simple.”
He held her hand tighter.
“Like if I ask ‘where was Kim?’ Just say that you were blindfolded.”
That was just one more way in which they tortured her, tortured them. If she could have just seen Kim, she could have tried to pull or draw strength from her eyes. If they could have held each other, it would have been something in between the hours when they were violated. But she never saw Kim. Her last glimpse of her friend was in the back of van before the nightmare reared its head in full force. And now she would never see her again.
“Okay,” Julie whispered. “I… I mean maybe I can---”
Leo stood, and Ethan fell back to her side.
“But only if you want to,” he said. “Only if---”
Julie wrapped her arms around his shoulders and breathed into his neck.
“Will you be there?” she asked.
Julie felt him nod, and his hands ran across her back. As he held her, she sobbed into his shoulder. She wished that she could hold back any more tears until they were home, but now, knowing what she had to do, she had no way to control her emotions. She only had Ethan’s arms.
“Miss Edwards?”
She looked over Ethan’s shoulder and saw Leo Barber at Morales’ side. They were still waiting for her “yes,” and as she clutched Ethan closer, she sighed.
“Okay.”
Ethan pulled away and held her face in his hands.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
She wiped her eyes as she stood.
“It’s okay. I’ll do it.”
Ethan helped her to her feet, and Julie spoke in a quiet, hoarse tone.
“When do you need to see me again?” Julie muttered.
Leo pressed his hands into his pockets.
“Trial stars
two weeks from tomorrow. We’ll talk, Miss Edwards.”
That was all she could stand for now, and she lifted her pale face to Ethan and uttered one more question.
“Can you take me home now? Please?”
He placed her in a cab and sat with his arms around her heaving shoulders. Julie cried at the thought of what lay ahead. She would have to relive it for the world. After that, it would be more than her nervous fear. People really would look at her differently. They would know what she had been forced to do, and some of them would probably think that she had asked for it or was in on it. To be a whore in the eyes of strangers sent a shiver up her spine, and she could not speak until they reached Ethan’s apartment and he locked the door behind them.
“Juliet?”
“I… need a minute, Ethan.”
She rushed away from him and sealed herself in the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror, she thought she saw Kim’s head peeking above her shoulder. Her familiar smile was replaced by wide-eyed horror, and then she heard her friend’s voice.
You’re going to tell everyone what they did to me?
Kim vanished, but Julie still trembled at the thought that she was about to be just one more person who hurt her friend. Maybe it made sense. After all, she was still Greg Heller’s stepdaughter.
No. She was her friend, and being brave would allow Kim, wherever she was, to truly rest in peace.
Julie left the bathroom and saw Ethan sitting on the edge of the bed with a loose tie and shaking hands. He lifted his head as she approached him, and she saw the tears starting to form in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Juliet. I wish there was another way.”
Julie shook her head and sat as his side.
“There’s not, Ethan. I think we both know that.”
Ethan took her hand. His fingers curled around her wrist as he sighed.
“So I guess I really can’t keep you safe.”
Maybe that was true. But Julie was tired of thinking about it, and she rested her head to his shoulder.
“Yes you can, Ethan. And maybe… maybe when it’s done…”
Her mind drifted to sun-bathed islands or suburban rows of picket fences where they could live without anyone knowing who they are or how they had found each other. As much as she savored the safety of his apartment that is what she wanted most, to be anonymous again.