by Riley Moreno
“I’m here, Juliet.”
Her eyes blurred with tears, and she raised her injured hand to his eyes.
“I got scared,” she said. “It was like I was back.”
Ethan held her, and Juliet buried her cheek deeper into his shoulder. Something had spooked her, and the consequence was more blood and tears. In his arms, she felt like a lost lamb and try as he might, Ethan could not calm her. He could only stroke her flushed cheek.
“Juliet---”
She stopped his voice as she took his fingers with her other hand, the silky sensation of her fingers folding across his palm.
“Does it ever go away?” she asked.
Sadly, he shook his head.
“No, Juliet. It doesn’t.”
Ethan spent more nights awake than he could count replaying the last hours of his family over and over again. And when he could sleep, the images only intensified. He saw his sister ravaged until her screams for mercy became pleading whimpers and then she fell silent. She would never speak another word, and Ethan sighed as he pressed his fingers under Juliet’s quaking chin.
“But it gets a little easier,” he lied, wanting to believe it, willing to do whatever it took to make everything alright.
“What do you want from me?” Ethan asked.
Leo sighed as he brushed a piece of lint from his jacket.
“We need you to tell her that you didn’t actually see Kim die,” Leo said. “Last thing she’ll need on the stand is a shock.”
Ethan cringed at the veiled implication that they could pain him into a complicit corner. The girl looked dead. The bastards spoke of her as gone. Without question, he had heard them say that Juliet would have to work harder in her absence. Why wasn’t that enough? Why did everything suddenly hinge on him telling Juliet just one more thing that would cause her pain? He couldn’t do it, and he told them as much.
“Mr. Graff---” Leo started.
“No! She was dead.”
“We believe you,” Morales said, her voice suddenly warm as she tried to touch his arm, but he pulled away and shot her a cold glare.
“So do your fucking jobs and make the case,” Ethan continued. “She shouldn’t have to testify in the first place, and now you’re… you’re asking me to… to what? To suggest that I left that poor girl behind? You have no idea---”
Leo pounded his flattened palm against his desk, and Ethan shuddered at the sound. The pictures on his wall swayed with the impact. Expecting another fight from the lawyer, Ethan clenched his fists, ready to do battle, and he blinked through his rage as Leo simply leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers together under his chin. He seethed under his suit, but there was not further movement other than the slight parting of his lips.
“I have a very good idea, Mr. Graff. And I am truly sorry if she’s going to cry herself to sleep again. But consider this.”
He pushed away from his desk and folded his arms across his chest. For a brief second, Leo’s face was replaced by that of Carter McCord. This was just one more person that was going to victimize her. Like the little shit, he wanted Ethan to take a turn, get in on the action. Ethan shook as the man continued to speak.
“It’ll go down a lot easier if it comes from you.”
How the hell would it be easier? No. No it would be far worse. Much worse. It would cause her to doubt him. Again and again, Juliet had murmured that he was all she had. No way in hell was he going to take that away from her. It was just too cruel. But now, in the wake of Leo’s demand and the bad memories that blared as if he was back in the space of that horrible night, the moment when he had saved one girl and left another behind, Ethan was beginning to doubt his actions. Had she been dead? Kim looked lifeless, and she had been bound, gagged, raped by Geoffrey Troxel. It wasn’t such a leap to imagine her murdered, whether by desire or by accident.
But there was no body.
“Ethan?”
He did not shy away from Morales’ touch, and he slowly turned his eyes to her sympathetic face.
“Please help us,” she started. “Help her. Just the facts. It’s the best way.”
Ethan looked from the cop to the lawyer and started to form a plan. First step was to get out of here and find her. Juliet hadn’t gone to work today. While he was glad that she was safe in their home, it had worried him to think that she was alone, running through her testimony, and praying for it to be over. Could he take her away tonight? The money was there. Ethan would just have to be careful to make small withdrawals at various ATM’s as they kept moving. He would leave a trail, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t make it a hard one to follow. She spoke of the water. Maybe they could hide away on a private island. He would keep telling her that they were safe.
But would she believe him?
“Can you do it, Ethan?” Morales asked.
No. She would have to take the stand. The prospect dominated her thoughts, and he would have to come clean to save her one more time.
“Okay,” Ethan muttered.
When he returned home, Juliet was still in bed. She slept at his side every night, but Ethan did little more than lay a gentle hand on her arm as she twisted through her nightmares. He was back to going with little to no sleep. He had to be ready to wake her if the dreams grew too dark, and he had hated leaving her on that morning with the thought that no one would be there to calm her fears.
Standing in the doorway, he saw her hugging a pillow for comfort, and when she sensed his presence, she started from the mattress and gazed at him with wide eyes. Seeing that it was him, Juliet relaxed some and held out her hand, thankfully healing from her most recent injury. Falling to her side, he seized it quickly and pressed her fingers to his lips.
“Ethan?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”
When he didn’t answer, Juliet tensed and pulled his face to hers.
“Ethan?” she asked again, her mouth quivering, her eyes terrified. Maybe it really would be easier if it came from him. She would understand. She wouldn’t turn away and run. Because she needed him.
And he needed her.
“Juliet… I…”
His voice caught in his throat, and the wanted words were replaced by a hoarse sob. She seemed to forget her own troubles as she took his face in her hands and stroked his cheeks.
“What’s the matter, Ethan?” she pleaded. “You can tell me. You can tell me anything.”
14
Julie wore a cream-colored blouse and a long blue skirt. The high buttons reached to her collar. Yes the sight of every wound would undoubtedly strike a chord with the jury, but the thought of the entirety of her shame on display was far too much to contemplate. The scar on her cheek would have to be enough, along with the truth of her story.
Ethan was slow to answer her question. Every time he started to speak, he fought back tears and finally just pulled away from her. His face fell into his hands, and Julie was stunned into her own silence by the sight of him so scared.
“Ethan, what is it?” she asked again after what felt like a quiet infinity. Moving closer to him, Julie ran her hands down his back and sighed as he gathered her into his shaking arms. Julie forgot her own fears and wondered why he was falling apart in their embrace. She knew that he didn’t want her to testify, but he had seemed to make peace with that. So what else was going on?
“Are you thinking about your family?” Julie asked.
He started away from her and looked as if he was enduring the harshest of blows. Julie shivered at the thought that she had got it wrong by bringing up the worst possible memory, and she tried to pull him nearer even as he struggled.
“No,” she said. “Please don’t leave me.”
Ethan relaxed in her arms but kept his eyes from hers. Julie stroked his hair and just waited. She could be patient. He had been that and more when it came to her clumsy efforts to lie with him again. She was lucky, beyond fortunate by the simple fact that he had found her. Saved her. Ethan held her close when no one else could or
would. He made her feel safe. As safe as she could ever feel after those awful months of captivity.
And now she would try to return the favor.
“Shhh.”
Julie rocked him as he sobbed into her breast. All of this had to taking a toll on him, and her mind moved to the moment when it would just be over. The monsters would be behind bars, forever, and then they would flee and make better memories. Her mind drifted back to the nightmare of losing their imaginary child, but even that would have a different ending. They would be together and create life when others had only wanted them to taste the reality of death.
He finally peered into her eyes, and Julie sensed the question on his lips, sticking in his throat.
“Is this about the trial?” she asked.
Ethan gave her a heavy nod, and Julie touched his face as she pressed her brow to his.
“I know,” she said. “And I’m scared. But it’ll be okay. I can do it, Ethan. I can do it if you’re with me.”
Without warning, he held her tighter, and she nearly shuddered at the force of his touch as he narrowed his blue gaze to hers.
“I know,” he whispered. “You’re so strong.”
Julie blushed as he lowered his lips to her cheek. She did not cringe at the feel of his kiss, and settled into the safety of his chest as he fought back his tears and lovingly caressed her hair.
“Juliet?”
She looked up and saw him wanting, needing to say something else. As she waited in his arms, he ran his fingers over her eyes. Julie dared to shift and kiss his hand when it trailed close to her mouth. How she longed to show him more than a chaste peck. Sex before Ethan was a violation that forced her to a place where she wept and knew nothing but fear in between rape after rape. With him, it was something soft. Something sweet. They would get back there. They… she just had to.
“Juliet,” he repeated. “Just know that I love you.”
Smiling, she started to rest her head to his shoulder. Sanctuary from every bad thing was in his arms, and she was confused when he pushed her away and seized her face.
“And I… I wanted to save you both. But I… but I couldn’t…”
She loved that he was thinking of Kim. Given the chance, of course he would have carried them both from the bowels of hell.
“I know, Ethan,” she said as she rested her eyes to his and dared to kiss his lips. It could be so easy, so right, if she could just move past her fear and simply lay with him again. As he responded to the hungry pull of her mouth, she tried to push aside the idea of the next day. Having to recall what had happened in front of a room full of strangers would be horrible. Awful, but it would pass. She had learned that much from him. The worst of life vanished when they were alone, and even as she left his kiss, Julie believed that she would know him again once every demon was put to rest.
“I love you, Juliet,” he whispered as they just held each other.
“I love you so much. I…”
She couldn’t bear the idea of him having to say anything else. He already seemed so scared. So Julie ran her hands across his flushed cheeks and smiled softly when she heard him sob.
“I know that,” Julie said. “I… I love you, too. I trust you. And I need you to hold me tonight.”
Now, as she waited to testify, Julie tried to cling to the feeling of his arms wrapped around her body.
“Hey, Julie.”
Morales appeared with a bottle of water and an anxious smile on her face. Taking the bottle, Julie sipped hungrily and wiped her mouth with her sleeve. How she wished that Ethan could be here now, but they were forced apart as Julie was hidden away for the major moment. But he still squeezed her hand before turning for the courtroom, and even now she could clearly hear the sound of his last whisper.
“I’ll be there, Juliet. Just look at me.”
Soon she would see him again, and even though she longed for the sight of Ethan’s eyes, she knew that there would be other eyes, impossible to avoid. She vowed silently to only look when she had to at Geoffrey Troxel. But she could do it. Yes he was a vile monster, but he hadn’t hurt her.
At least not like Carter McCord.
Julie was returned to him before her sliced flesh had a chance to heel. He patted her back and laughed when she winced. Ignoring her whimpers, Carter slammed her to the floor. A myriad of splinters pierced her aching back, and every time she tried to move, the shards dug in deeper. The only way to stop that point of pain was to lay still and pray for a miracle. But Carter kicked her thighs apart and unzipped his fly.
“Time to pay my bad girl back,” he said with a brutal laugh. Pinned by fear and the threat that all of her skin would leave her back, Julie laid without struggling as he plowed into her. Impossible as it was, he raped her with an even greater force. It was beyond anything else that she had yet to endure, and Julie sobbed for him to stop even as she was afraid to move. Carter smiled in the face of her pleas and touched his hands to her trembling cheeks.
“Tell me that you want it, cunt,” he sneered.
Despite the world of pain that she was in, the place that she might never leave, Julie still maintained enough strength to twist her head from side to side.
“No,” Julie moaned. “I won’t say that. I---”
Carter grabbed her face, and his mouth crushed into her pleading lips. The man’s kiss was worse than death. If he would just clasp her throat and squeeze the life from her body, she would at least be free. Now and in the moments in between the endless rapes, Julie held tight to that one word.
Freedom.
It would have to come. This couldn’t go on forever. Could it? Would it? Before Julie could answer her own question, Carter’s lips curled around her nipples, and she begged him to leave her alone as the space between her legs burned and broke and bled as he took her.
“I’ll go easier if you tell me that you want it,” Carter teased in a laughing tone.
Julie was in so much pain that she almost gave voice to his desire. It wouldn’t stop the rape. Maybe nothing ever would. But if she lied that she liked it, maybe the pain would lessen. Desperate for some small relief, she was nearly there when she peered into his hazel eyes. How she wanted to rip those eyes from their sockets and blind him to the point where she might be able to get away.
But she didn’t want this, or him.
“No,” she whispered in a ragged voice. “I… I want… I want to be free.”
To her surprise, Carter did slow his pursuit, and Julie prayed that he would stop as he glared down at her.
“Then let’s release you, bitch.”
Her screams echoed through that night’s prison, and Julie’s fists were useless as he pinned his hands over her head. Every moan for mercy was met by the monster’s demonic laughter, and when he finally finished, when Julie wanted nothing more for him to pull out so that she could crawl away, Carter formed a fist and slammed it into her aching middle. After so many rapes, she felt as if her body would never relax again.
“I’ll be back, cunt,” Carter said as he left her. His laughter was like dull knife to her heart, and he hiked up his pants before slamming the door behind him. Alone in the dark, Julie curled into a ball and wept into her knees. There was no way out. They would just keep coming. She tried to hope, but the idea of escaping was quickly slipping away. Her eyes opened of a small sliver of moonlight, and she struggled to touch it. As soon as the silver beam fell across her hand, Julie sighed and spoke the words that Carter McCord did not want to hear.
“I want to be free. I want to be free.”
“Julie?”
Morales’ voice snapped her out of her waking nightmare, and the detective placed a hand on her unsteady shoulder. Shrinking away from the cop, Julie downed another drink of water. She considered running, finding Ethan, and forgetting that she had ever agreed to this. But then a bailiff opened the door and snapped his fingers.
“Show time,” the large man whispered with a full head of silver hair said.
This
was it. She couldn’t back out now. She was doomed to be in a room with the monster that had violated her in every horrible way. Yes this was for Kim as much as it was for her, but what if it was all a trick? What if Morales and Barber and everyone but Ethan was here to see that she was returned to captivity? Just the thought of stepping back into hell kept her glued to her chair, but then the bailiff nodded his head and shot her a kindly wink.
“Give ‘em hell, honey,” he said.
The man reminded her of her father. It wasn’t the first time that Julie had considered all the ways in which she needed him now. He would have held her as she worked through her misery and promised that nothing bad would ever happen to her again. Julie missed him constantly, but she had Ethan, and she could keep her locket tucked away when she had him.
Ethan would keep her safe.
Julie swallowed as Morales led her into the courtroom. A chorus of gasps and sighed met her ears as she entered the space, and her eyes darted in every direction. Too many faces were full of wonder at the sight of her standing or pity as her blush moved about her scarred cheek. Julie became self-conscious, and she pressed her palm to her face. She saw Amanda Beyer’s eyes full of anger. It was a crushing irony. In the end, Kim had the better mother even if her friend didn’t live to see it with her own eyes.
Looking to her left, she saw Carter McCord. His stare was cold and hard as she neared the witness box. His lips puckered ever so slightly, and Julie shivered at the idea that would take her again if given the chance. Julie’s mind flooded with the image of everyone else falling away until she was left with just him. The courtroom became empty and was locked as tight as a drum. Carter would rise from his chair and chase her to the door. She saw her hands pulling at the handle, and when the door would not budge, Julie screamed and pounded her small fists, screaming for anyone to hear her. But there was nothing but his vile touch under her skirt as he pushed her to the floor.
“I can’t…”
Morales held her steady, and Julie turned her head away from the defense table. She scanned the sea of faces just wanting to get a piece of the story, and out of the corner of her eye Leo Barber curled his fingers together.