by Riley Moreno
“She’ll be fine,” Leo said. “I’ll leave you two to talk.”
As the door clicked shut, Julie imagined the prisons of their past. Even though she hadn’t heard a key turn, Julie raced from Kim and flung the door open. Relief washed over her at the realization that she could get out, and after seeing Leo leaning against the wall, nodding to assure her that she was still safe, Julie eased the door shut and turned back to her friend.
“Kimmy?”
And then it happened. Despite her appearance, Kim’s smile became familiar. It was as if they were back on the open road, ready for anything in her sky blue Camry. The miles, the months, started to evaporate, and Kim cocked her head as her eyes became strong and sympathetic.
“I really am okay, Jules,” she said. “Are you?”
That she could even ask was enough to make Julie believe that everything would somehow be alright, and she moved to hold her shattered form close.
“I am now,” Julie whispered as she rested her head on Kim’s shoulder. “I’m better than I’ve been in a long time.”
They just held each other for a while. Julie smiled when she smelled blackberry vanilla lingering about Kim’s neck. If she kept her eyes closed, they were just two friends waiting to party, dressing up before braving the night with Red Solo cups in their hands. Kim made friends, but Julie stayed shy. Kim had always seen her home before she went off again in search of passion. Sometimes she wondered if Kim just kept her around so that she could stay the prettiest girl in the room…
Stop it, Julie. That’s over.
Julie’s tears fell freely, and she hated herself for ever doubting Kim’s love for her. And she couldn’t help but feel guilty at the thought that she had found a warm bed while Kim had suffered for far too long in an unspeakable wilderness.
“Hey,” Kim said. “Easy there.”
Julie became aware of her swaying, and she blushed as they sat before Leo’s desk. As Kim patted her cheek, Julie was assaulted by a new stream of guilt.
“I… got to go home. And you didn’t. Greg…”
Summoning a strength that no one would have imagined by just looking at her, Kim was able to grin.
“Jules, I thought he was a good guy, too,” she said. “Bet your mom kicked him to the curb.”
Julie sadly shook her head, and Kim pulled back.
“What?” she asked. “Your mom is still with him?”
Her locket was back in its proper place about her neck, and as she played with the chain, she thought of her father. If there was a heaven, he had to screaming down at his wife.
“Christ, Jules,” Kim said. “How can she be so sick?”
Julie didn’t know, and she could speak. Only sobs left her lips, and she relaxed into the feel of Kim’s fragile arms. It was wrong; Julie should be comforting her. But it felt good to be back in someone’s embrace.
“So where have you been?” Kim asked.
Startled by the question when Kim was the one returned from the dead, Julie shot from her friend’s hold and met her with confused eyes.
“I’ve… I’ve been here,” Julie said. “Home. I---”
“Where have you been living, Jules?”
Julie couldn’t tell her. Not when he had abandoned her. To confess that she had been hiding with the man who had failed them both seemed like a fatal blow. It felt like a new betrayal, but Julie had no choice but to lie.
“With a friend,” Julie muttered. “I… I work at a flower shop. My boss is nice.”
As Julie looked up at Kim, she thought she saw her first friend, her truest friend, jealous at the thought that she had been replaced. Julie started to explain when Kim bit down on her thin lips and peered hard.
“Cool,” she said. “Glad you had someone.”
Julie relaxed until Kim spoke again.
“But what about Ethan Graff?”
And then her entire body tensed.
“How do you… how do you know…?”
“Because he was there,” Kim started. “I saw him.”
Julie pictured Ethan leering at her friend until deciding that it might be more fun to play with her. After all that they had shared and how safe she had felt in his arms, Julie hated the idea. But if he was so good, so sweet, then why---?
“I wanted him to help you,” Kim said.
Kim’s words were life a life raft, and her mind took hold in a desperate frenzy as she tried to keep from exploding where she sat.
“Why did you… why did you think…?”
Kim took her hands, and Julie had to smile as a warm sensation flooded into her veins.
“When I saw him,” Kim started, “I knew he wasn’t like... like the others. He seemed so scared.”
“He did?” Julie asked.
She held her breath as Kim nodded, and for a second she forgot her friend’s weakened state and just needed to know more.
“Did he talk to you?” she asked. “Did he tell you that---?”
Julie stopped speaking when she saw Kim’s face contort into a mask of new pain, and she fell back in her chair and lowered her eyes to her feet. The force of Kim’s gaze kept her stare on the ground; she could avoid Kim’s eyes but not her words.
“Was he supposed to tell me something?” Kim asked.
It was as if she was clinging to the idea of a message that Julie had tried to send to her friend. Maybe Ethan had failed, but Kim wanted to hear it now.
Swallowing back a new sob, Julie spoke slowly.
“I wanted you to know that I was alive,” she murmured.
Looking up again, Kim brushed Julie’s fallen hair from her scar, her touch tender and fragile.
“I knew that, Jules. And here you are now. Because he saved you, right?”
One look at Kim relayed a mirrored version of Julie’s rescue.
It could have been me. Unrecognizable. Hurt for more than a summer.
Warm thoughts of Ethan invaded her mind. When he smiled. When he kissed her hair. When he held her close and helped her to forget. There was only one way to answer Kim’s question.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes he did.”
“I thought he would,” Kim whispered. “I… hoped that he would.”
“You hoped?” Julie asked.
“Look, Jules,” she said as she struggled to cross her bony legs. “I knew as soon as I saw him that he was good news. For one of us.”
Kim’s eyes became a mirror, and Julie saw herself scarred but otherwise healthy in her best friend’s stare. She imagined Kim starved, struggling to find any scrap of food and never feeling full. Kim’s ache became Julie’s and as she started to grow weak, Julie cried.
“I should have stayed,” Julie said. “We would have gone back.”
“But he said that I was dead.”
“Yes!” Julie cried as she grasped Kim’s shoulders. “We shouldn’t have run and---”
“Jules, he couldn’t have known. And I… all this time…”
Kim’s voice trailed off, and even though her friend seemed like fine china that would shatter if she made the wrong move, Julie took her arms and pulled her close.
“Where were you, Kimmy?”
Her wide blue eyes grew cold, and Julie struggled to stay in the space of her stare. Maybe she couldn’t talk about it. Julie found it hard to speak the truth of what had happened with anyone other than Ethan. And maybe that was only because he had seen her prison with his own eyes.
“Not now,” Kim said.
And Julie didn’t press the point.
Give her time. She just came home.
“I… I just kept hoping that you were okay,” Kim said. “And look at you!”
The bony, hollowed eyes mass could have so easily been Julie. Could she have survived it? Julie didn’t think so.
“No,” Julie whispered. “Look at you.”
Kim scoffed like her endurance was nothing. But it was spectacular, and Julie cupped her hands around Kim’s face.
“You survived, Kimmy. All alone. I should hav
e gone back. I should have---”
“It’s okay, Jules. It’s all over now.”
“Is it?” Julie asked.
With a smile, Kim stroked her face and nodded.
“It’s done,” Kim said. “Does he know?”
Julie started to shake her head when Kim sighed.
“Jules, my mom told me,” Kim started. “You’ve been with him. All this time.”
Barely back, and what do I do? Lie.
Wanting to scream her frustration into Amanda Beyer’s ears, Julie could do nothing but admit the truth. She had lain with him, but Kim’s words meant that he was no longer the any kind of enemy. Julie took some comfort in that, and she wondered if Ethan had heard of this incredible turn of events. If so, he must be relieved to know that both girls were out. And she wanted peace for him. Julie always wanted that.
“Jules?”
She nodded and told Kim all about Ethan. How he had saved her. The ways in which he had touched her. How she had pushed him away when it seemed like he was a part of their nightmare.
“He was good to me,” Julie said, But I thought he had left you and lied…”
Kim gave a small laugh and twirled Julie’s hair around her slender fingers.
“He didn’t, Jules. He did what he had to do.”
“What do you mean?” Julie asked.
Kim stood on legs that seemed as if they could snap in two at any moment, and she moved to the window. A draft entered the room. Julie shuddered at the feel of the cold wind, but Kim stayed like slender stone as she turned back to Kim with a smile on her face.
“He saved you, Jules,” she said. “He had to save one of us. And I bet you know why.”
Julie broke. He had told her as much. He would never hurt a woman in the wake of his sister’s fate. As she reflected on the moments in his home, in his arms, she knew that he had never done anything but love her. And Julie had pulled away from him at the first moment of doubt.
“I do,” Julie said. “He’s been hurt too, Kimmy.”
Kim fell to her side, and they held each other and wept. When they had formed the plan in Julie’s bedroom, they had thought of an adventure. Nothing else. It became something else. Something horrible.
Until it wasn’t.
“So Ethan Graff…?” Kim asked.
Looking into her friend’s eyes again, Julie told the whole story. How he had saved her. How he had stayed by her side. How he had rescued her all over again once she learned what Greg was.
How she had slept with him.
“Jules,” Kim started. “Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing. I want to feel that again, too. I… I called Brian.”
Julie smiled at the sound of his name and couldn’t suppress a giggle.
“What did he say?” Julie asked.
“That he wanted to see me,” Kim said. “Wait till he sees the shape I’m in---”
“No!” Julie cried. “You’re so beautiful! And you’re back!”
Her mind filled with too many questions to count, and while Julie didn’t want to risk losing the sweetness of this moment, the inquiries started to poke through her lips.
“Jules?”
She lifted her eyes and had to ask.
“Kimmy, where were you?”
Kim sniffed he air and sat back in her chair. The body that looked as if it would break did not splinter, and she smiled.
“I was held, Jules,” she said. “We both know what that’s like.”
Yes. They weren’t supposed to, but fate had interfered. Both girls knew what it was to be captured, confined, corrupted.
“Only thing that matters is that we both got away,” Kim said.
Julie smiled at her returned friend. They would help each other through the darkest memories and find the light again.
“I’m glad that you’re seeing Brian,” Julie said.
Kim smirked as she pinched her cheek.
“And you should see Ethan.”
Julie talked with Kim for several hours. It had been the same for her. Bound and blindfolded in the back of the van, hoping that they were together when they couldn’t see or touch one another. But then they were parted, and Kim wasn’t revealing anything about another van or the infinite nights that she spent in a new captivity.
Still, Julie couldn’t help but be curious.
“You can tell me, Kimmy. You---”
“Not now, Jules. Please. Not yet. I can’t.”
Julie nodded and when they could no longer talk of the past and had to focus on now, Kim took control. It was familiar and scary, and Julie didn’t resist when Kim opened the door.
“Go to him,” Kim said.
Leo Barber shot to attention at the sight of them. Ed Swanson was there, too. Julie didn’t see Morales, and she was about to ask after her when Kim’s mouth met her ear.
“Go on,” Kim said. “I bet he’s dying to see you.”
19
Julie stood before a familiar door.
Ed Swanson had given her another ride, and he had warned her to be careful when he pulled away from the curb. Julie had assured him that there was nothing to worry about, and she waved as his car left her sight. Once he was gone, Julie raced up the steps and banged trembling fists to door that had once concealed her from all harm. When there was no answer, she called out his name.
“Ethan?”
The apartment stayed silent, and Julie knocked again. Could he hear her? Why wasn’t he answering?
Because you pushed him away. This is your fault.
Thinking of going back to Danielle’s or simply walking the streets until she collapsed in the shadows, Julie was startled by the sound the door swinging open. She saw Ethan, his face unshaven, his eyes weary and wanting.
“Juliet?”
But when he saw her, his eyes caught the light again, and he started to take her hands.
“Juliet, I’m so---”
Was he sorry? He shouldn’t be. Was he glad? How could he be that when she had doubted him?
Surprised? Only that emotion made any sense, and Julie stayed in that feeling as he took her hand.
“Do you want to come inside?” he asked.
Julie nodded, and she relaxed against Ethan’s chest as he brought her back to what had once seemed like sanctuary. He settled her on the couch and sat at her side. Julie smiled and held his hand tighter.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?” he asked.
“I… I don’t know where to start,” she said.
Ethan’s hand stayed in hers. She felt him waiting for her to start somewhere.
You owe him that much. Talk.
“Kim’s back,” she whispered.
A grateful sigh left his lips, and his free hand moved to touch her hair. But when she caught hold of his eyes, he looked away, seemingly shamed, and his voice seemed far away when he finally spoke.
“So it’s really true,” he said.
Julie told him of their reunion, arranged by Leo Barber and Morales. At the sound of their names, Ethan scoffed.
“Glad they finally did something real for you,” he said.
“What do you---?”
“Troxel’s getting a slap on the wrist,” he stared. “Little shit going the same way.”
He met her eyes gain with cold eyes and clenched teeth.
“But I know that they hurt you,” Ethan said. “They should burn for what they did.”
When Leo Barber saw Julie to Ed Swanson’s car, the bailiff ready and waiting to take her back to Danielle’s, the lawyer had made vague promises about trying to attack the men from a different angle. The problem was that Pete had essentially confessed to the kidnapping and the nuts and bolts of the operation. With Kim alive, the men were still vile, but in the end just another pair of customers paying for a service.
“We’ll win the next round,” he promised. “I guarantee that that Greg Heller pays the price.”
As soon as Ethan heard this new plan, he furiously shook his head and touche
d her scar.
“No,” he said. “I won’t have you interrogated again. I can’t…”
“Ethan---”
He stood quickly and reached for his phone.
“I’ll meet with him in the morning. I---”
“Ethan, you don’t---”
When her hands met his arms, he turned to her, eyes blazing.
“I do!” he cried. “I have to help you.”
Julie trembled under his touch but kept going.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Kim wants to do it. She’s going to make him pay.”
Ethan fell back with his mouth agape, and when Julie tried to touch him, he flinched.
“Kim?” he asked.
“I’ll make a better witness,” she had told Leo Barber. “Just a girl caught up in the games of my friend’s father.”
As soon as Kim spoke the word father, Julie’s eyes filled with tears, and she clutched her locket. Almost instantly, Kim regrouped and patted Julie’s shoulder.
“You know what I meant, Jules,” Kim said. “But this time won’t be so messy.”
Julie was stunned by her friend’s resolve in light of all that she had suffered, but she wasn’t about to contradict someone who seemed so sure.
“She wants to do it,” Julie said. “And if you had seen her, you would have believed her, too.”
His shoulders pressed close to his ears told Julie that he was far from sure of the plan, and he slid down the wall and sat with his head in his hands.
“If I had just gotten her out too…”
As Julie watched him wrestle with what he could have done in the cold face of what was, she wanted to give him all that Kim had given her. Maybe the nightmare wasn’t over, but they were all waking up to a brighter dawn, and when she sat beside him, Julie spoke softly.
“She thanked you,” Julie whispered.
Ethan was stunned as he looked at her.
“She… she thanked me?” he asked.
When Julie nodded, he winced.
“Why would she---?”
She dared to take his hand.
“Because you saved me,” Julie said. “She… she’s glad for that.”
Ethan didn’t or couldn’t speak when Julie touched his face.
“So am I.”
He started to return her touch, but then he pulled away.