by AR Colbert
“Claren, hi! Do you remember me?”
I smiled and reached to shake her hand. “Of course I do. It’s good to see you.” She followed my gaze down to her rounded stomach and chuckled.
“Well there’s definitely a lot more of me to see now that Dave and I are expecting!” She ushered us inside.
“We can’t stay long because Claren’s got to speak with Frank,” Sarah said. “But I was hoping you might show her what you’ve been working on!” Sarah clapped her hands together excitedly.
“Absolutely! Follow me.” Elizabeth led us down a short hallway into a bedroom flooded with natural light from windows lining three walls. The room was full of tables and a couple of easels, each set up with canvases and cardboard. The floor was covered in a thick white cloth covered in paint splatters, and the blue streak in Elizabeth’s hair suddenly made a lot more sense.
“Wow.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Dave is way too protective over me and our little peanut, so he refuses to let me do any manual labor lately. So I’ve had lots of time on my hands to paint.”
My jaw dropped as I took in the familiarity around me. Each canvas was painted in vivid splashes of blue and orange, with tiny threads of red and yellow, and broad lines of deep purples and navy blue. The room was full of variations of the same picture over and over. It was the same picture that hung on my bedroom wall at Felix’s house.
“It’s beautiful,” I said. “I’ve seen this before. In the Center!”
Elizabeth nodded. “I’ve sent several boxes into the city. It’s my hope that they’ll serve as a beacon of hope for those who are working so hard for our cause in the city. Freedom is near.”
“Tell her what it is!” Sarah was giddy, practically jumping up and down beside us.
“Oh right, of course!” Elizabeth laughed and pointed to her forehead. “Pregnancy brain. Forgive me.” Then her face grew serious. “These are embers. Glowing, hot coals growing stronger and stronger, lighting up the darkness. This is our movement, and a nod to the contributions your brother made to our cause. Cato was such a good man.” Elizabeth choked on a sob, moving her hand under her nose to stop it from running.
“I’m sorry,” she said, fanning her eyes. “These emotions are really getting the best of me.”
But she didn’t have any reason to apologize. I cried right along with her as I pulled her into a hug. Sarah joined as well, wrapping her arms around the both of us.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Classen City was no longer my home. These were my people now.
CHAPTER 11
“Rider? Aiden? You there?”
Dax put a hand up to keep us quiet as we re-entered Sarah and Tim’s cabin.
“Dax? Thank goodness. We just saw Claren outside with a woman. Are you guys safe? We were just about to come in to check things out.” Aiden’s voice crackled through the walkie in Dax’s hand.
“We’re safe. All clear here. But there’s no one here worth keeping surveillance on. We’re told there’s another camp across the lake. We’re going there now.”
“Alright. Hang tight and we’ll be right there.”
“Wait,” Dax said firmly. “I don’t think they’ll like it if they know we had more men watching from the woods.” Tim rolled his eyes and Sarah bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. “And there’s no room for you in the boat. Stay where you are and I’ll reach out again once we get to the other side.”
“Maybe you should come back and we’ll drive over there together.”
“No time. We won’t be able to find it without help, anyway. I’ll let you know when we get there.”
After a long pause it was Rider’s voice we heard instead of Aiden’s. “Copy that. We’ll move closer to the shore. Let us know if you need backup.”
Dax grinned. “Will do,” he said before turning the device off with a click. Then he looked up at me. “Let’s go see Frank.”
Sarah gave me another hug goodbye before Tim led us down a short trail behind the cabin. An old motorboat was tied down to a sturdy wooden dock in the water. I paused before stepping on with the guys.
“Are you sure this thing can hold all of us?”
“Positive,” Tim said as he unwrapped a rope from a post on the deck.
“And it’s safe?” I’d never been on a boat, and the water was frigid. We wouldn’t make it back to the shore without freezing to death if that thing flipped.
Dax groaned. “He said it’s fine. Now let’s go before your bodyguards try to stop us.”
I glanced over to see what Emilio thought. He shrugged and gestured for me to go first. I reluctantly climbed on, and just a few moments later the motor rumbled loudly to life and we glided across the lake toward the opposite shore.
Strands of hair whipped my face and icy water stung as it sprayed up around me, but zipping over the waves in the vastness outside of the city made me feel wild and free. After a short bumpy ride over the water, Tim slowed the boat and expertly cruised into a hidden cove where another wooden dock sat waiting for us.
He killed the engine and looked over his shoulder at us. “Did you like the ride?”
Emilio’s teeth were chattering too much for him to speak clearly, so he quickly muttered something about it being “fine” and jumped out of the boat as soon as it was safe.
Dax followed behind him without much interest either way, but I hung back to talk to Tim. “I kind of loved it,” I admitted. “It looks fun to drive, too.”
“Oh it definitely is.” Tim grinned. “It’s even better in the summertime.”
“I hope I can discover that for myself, soon. I can’t believe you even have boats like this. Where do you get the fuel?”
Tim’s smile quickly vanished. “It doesn’t matter. We have our ways.” And with that he hopped off of the boat behind Dax, leaving me to bring up the rear.
The bank on this side of the lake was steep, and my numb toes from the cold ride over weren’t helping me keep up with the others very well. I slowly climbed the hill behind them, taking time to appreciate my views on the way. There weren’t many leaves on the trees at this time of year, but evergreen foliage dotted the forest between large branches of tall oaks. I imagined it would be beautiful in the spring.
The others continued to climb forward, not noticing or not caring that I was lagging behind. So when I first heard some scratching off to my right, there wasn’t anyone else around to investigate it with me. I scanned the forest floor, looking for the cause of the noise, and gasped when I saw a small group of chickens huddled together in some overgrown brush.
“Dax! Come look! I found some chickens!”
Dax paused long enough to motion for me to keep moving. “There are probably more at the camp if we ever get there. Keep up.”
What a grouch. Maybe I was still riding on the high of seeing Sarah and Elizabeth, but I thought it was important to pause and appreciate the little things. Boats and chickens and freedom to create art like Elizabeth was doing—these were bright spots in difficult times.
I plodded along after him until we finally reached the top of the hill and stepped into another clearing. This camp was different from Tim and Sarah’s. It was bustling with life.
Two young boys kicked a ball back and forth on an open grassy area near some men burning a large fire. A little sister toddled behind them while two women sat talking on a fallen log as they watched the children play.
Across the way stood an old two-story building with a faded sign that read Riverside Lodge, and three strange looking vehicles without doors or roofs sat on packed dirt near the building. Based on the size of the lodge and the well-worn paths that surrounded it, I guessed this camp was home to many more people than Tim and Sarah’s.
I was still taking it all in when a ball bounced off my ankle. I turned in time to see the two boys staring from about ten feet away. Their large round eyes were more curious than fearful, but they knew better than to get too close to strangers. The little girl, h
owever, didn’t think twice about toddling right over to me with squeals of glee and two chubby outstretched arms.
I squatted down to hand her the ball, but she toppled over on her backside before she made it to me. Her bottom lip quivered as she looked at me with glistening eyes, so I quickly met her on the grass and helped her back to her feet.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
She remained still, looking like her tiny lips would release a howl at any moment, so I quickly rolled the ball right in front of her little feet and pointed from it to the boys.
“Do you want to kick the ball back to the boys?”
She gave a nod, and her pout pulled up into a smile again.
“Okay, here we go in one, two...” And she kicked the ball before I ever got to three, immediately chasing after it again.
“Yay!” I clapped for her as she toddled away with the speed of a tortoise.
“You’re quite the coach.”
I jumped to my feet and spun around to find the source of the deep voice I’d heard so many times in my dreams. It couldn’t be... but if it was...
“Raf!”
He laughed as I basically assaulted him, throwing my arms around his neck in a tight embrace. He caught me in his strong arms and spun me around once, the warmth of his body seeping into mine.
“I’m so glad it’s you,” I said, pulling myself back to take in his chiseled jaw and scruffy chin. “I was so worried when I couldn’t find you back home.”
“I’m sorry. If there was a way for me to let you know, I would have. It all happened so fast. I wasn’t planning on leaving the city so soon.”
“Well you’re here now, and so am I,” I said, pulling him close for one more hug.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He rested his chin on the top of my head, and we stayed that way for just a short amount of time. I wouldn’t have pulled away at all if it hadn’t have been for Dax’s stupid voice ruining everything again.
“Knock it off you two. We need to find Frank.” He looked at Raf. “Is he inside?”
“Probably. He was in there about an hour ago.”
Dax nodded and turned back to Tim and Emilio. “We’re going up to the Lodge.”
Raf laced our fingers together, and we slowly followed along behind the others. A cold breeze ruffled the barren branches surrounding the clearing, but I couldn’t be cold this close to him. Raf was the man who helped me discover my strength. He taught me how to survive and he taught me how to love. He showed me how to trust in myself and pull it all together when I felt broken.
I looked up at his dark eyes, his profile blurring from the tears revealing my concern from the last twenty-four hours. He gave my hand a squeeze.
“What’s wrong, Clar?”
I shook my head and looked up to the sky, willing the cold air to dry my tears. “I thought I lost you.” I swallowed—twice—choking down the lump in my throat. “There was a body in the pond. A tall young man. They couldn’t ID him, and Lena said you were missing. I thought...”
Raf stopped and pulled me back into his chest, my tears finally setting themselves free to soak the canvas of his jacket as he ran a hand through my hair.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I hate that you were afraid. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?”
“It was last minute. I didn’t leave for me, I had to get someone else out of the city. There wasn’t time to notify anyone. But I knew I’d see you again soon. And I won’t leave you like that again. I promise.”
I nodded against his chest, breathing in his cool scent. Finally, I lifted my cheek so we could continue up the trail to the Lodge. He kissed my forehead and gently took my hand again as we walked.
“I’ve thought about you every day since I last saw you,” he said. My shoulders tensed at the memory of that day. I almost lost everything in the courthouse after Justice Hines shot Cato. It was Raf who kept me grounded. He gave me the calmness and clear thinking I needed to keep going. None of this would have been possible without him.
“Me, too,” I said.
“You were so brave that day. You made such an impact on the people watching. I don’t think you even understand what a difference it made.”
I furrowed my brows in confusion. “When I congratulated Justice Hines on murdering my brother? Surely that’s not what you’re referring to.”
“That’s not how we saw it,” he said firmly. “The Embers know what kind of sacrifice it took for you to say that. They know it was the hardest thing you’ve ever done. And they know you did it for them. For us. So that we might have a chance at freedom. We need you working in the Center, Claren. More than you know. And you did exactly what had to be done to keep the ruse going.”
“Maybe. But at what cost? Cato was killed that day.”
“He gave his life so that others could be free. We miss him terribly every day. But please do not blame yourself for his death. Everything happened the way it needed to.”
I stopped dead in my tracks again. “Cato was supposed to die?”
Raf tensed as well, mirroring my own emotions. “No! Claren, of course not. But given the circumstances, you did everything right. I just don’t want you to carry the weight of that guilt forever. I know you. And I know you need to set yourself free. If Cato could have chosen a way to die, I guarantee it would have been for the cause.”
I hesitated, studying his face. He was telling the truth, but it was a hard truth to accept.
“You’re right,” I said finally. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
Raf gave a sad smile and pulled my hand forward toward the entrance of the Lodge. Inside, an open lobby was warmed by a large stone fireplace. An open dining area sat beyond the entrance, clean but currently vacant. A hallway stretched out on either side of us, lined with doors that probably led to individual rooms.
“Where can we find him?” Dax asked Raf.
“Follow me.” Raf stepped into the lead and took us around the fireplace down a short hall beyond the dining area. The halls were illuminated by dated light fixtures.
“How are you getting electricity out here?” Suddenly I was aware of how many impossibilities I’d witnessed in the last hour. There were boats and other vehicles, cabins with sinks and plumbing, electricity, and entire camps that were somehow going undetected by our Leadership.
“You ask too many questions,” Tim said, shooting me a look of irritation from the sides of his eyes.
Raf gave me a half-grin. “We’d better let Frank handle the questions.”
We reached a door with a plaque outside that read Conference Room 1. Inside was a table covered in papers, and behind it sat a handsome but rugged man with salt and pepper hair and creases framing the eyes that studied those papers with intensity.
“Frank.”
My voice quivered, but to my relief he looked up with a smile.
“Claren, my dear. I wondered when we could expect you.”
He stood and greeted me with a hug. It was then that I realized how right Raf was. I had been carrying a ton of grief and guilt wrapped around a boulder on my shoulders ever since I left the courthouse a few weeks ago. Frank’s acceptance of me, his willingness to welcome me into his camp after I’d almost gotten him killed, was the permission I needed to finally set the rock down and free myself from its weight.
“I need your help,” I told him.
“And I need yours. Sit down. Let’s talk.”
CHAPTER 12
We pulled chairs up around the table as Frank tidied up the papers he had been studying. I didn’t want to say too much with everyone around, but it didn’t look like I was going to get any time alone with him. So discreetly as I could, I pulled Frank off to the side before we all sat down.
“Before we get started, I have to tell you how sorry I am.” My heart ached at the memory of my betrayal. Dragging Emmaline out to capture Frank was one of the worst things I’d ever done. I’d been blin
ded by a false need to save my brother, and it wound up getting him killed. Thank goodness it didn’t get Frank killed as well.
He placed a strong hand on my shoulder. There was no grudge. No bitterness. In fact, the overwhelming forgiveness that radiated from him was almost crippling. I didn’t deserve it. I looked away, unworthy of the man’s grace.
“Claren, we suspected a night like that was going to happen. In a way, we needed it to happen. The government will twist the news to fit their narrative every day, but the people are finally starting to wake up to the truth. Seeing us on television and watching that woman take a man’s life has brought many people Outside to join us since then.”
We walked back to the table as Frank continued.
“And I have to commend you on playing your part so well. Leaders on the inside believe in your allegiance to the state. Publicly denouncing Cato’s actions is as strong a statement as you could have ever made. But those of us who know your true allegiance—we are even more impressed. It’s going to take a lot of strength to change things from the inside, and you my girl have more strength than most men twice your age.”
Dax scoffed, drawing Frank’s attention to him. “Do you disagree?” He gestured to Raf. “I have no doubt that Claren is on our side.” Raf nodded and they turned back to Dax. “But you’ve been with her for the last week. Have you seen anything that should lead me to believe otherwise?”
The mood of the room suddenly shifted, and we all waited uncomfortably for Dax’s response.
Dax looked annoyed, unintimidated by Frank. “I’m sure she wants to be on our side, but that’s what we all thought before she had you arrested, too.” He looked bitterly in my direction. “I just think you’re giving her a little too much credit. That’s all. And while we’re on the topic. I think you might be giving Felix a little too much control as well. He seems awfully content bossing me around while still holding secret phone calls with his daddy.”