by Ambria Davis
“That can’t be!” I yelled as tears stung my eyes. I was in utter disbelief as I watched what looked to be a younger version of myself. “But I don’t remember getting raped!”
“You was supposed to save me, Mommy!”
“But I didn’t know,” I said crying, “I really didn’t know.”
When I looked down, my heart nearly jumped out of my skin, because the child that I had cradled in my arms didn’t have a face at all. He had a head, but there were no eyes, nose, or lips—just a blurred face. My heart felt broken for the child that was taken from me, and yet, I didn’t remember any of this.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I said, rocking him in my arms. “I’m so sorry,” I said crying.
* * *
I was awakened out of my sleep suddenly. Opening my eyes, I frantically looked around as I tried to figure out where I was. The beeping sounds of monitors, white walls, and the stale smell led me to believe that I was in a hospital.
What am I doing in here? Where are my kids? How long have I been here? Where’s Kaylin? Those were all of the questions that were flowing through my mind. The million-dollar question that I needed an answer to ASAP was, How did I get in here in the first place? I said to myself, wiping my face. I tried to go back in my memory bank to recall my last memory, but I came up empty. What the fuck is going on? I thought to myself.
Deciding not to dwell on the issue, I reached to my left and hit the call button to summon the nurse. “I really hope they hurry up,” I said.
While waiting on the nurse, I decided to inspect my body to survey the extent of my injuries. Bringing my right hand up to my face, I tried touching it, only to experience a sharp pain.
“What the fuck!” I said aloud. I couldn’t see it, but I could tell that my face was swollen and bruised up.
Moving on, my hand then traveled from my face down to my chest. “Oh my God!” I gasped as I pulled back the cover and then lifted my gown. “Why am I bandaged so heavily?” I said aloud. That’s when I noticed that I had bloodstains in several spots. With my fingers, I tapped the spot closest to it. I immediately regretted doing that, because a pain like no other hit me so hard, it brought tears to my eyes.
Just the mere thought of me going through something painful had me in an uproar. Grabbing my chest, the pain and the fact that I had started hallucinating made it hard for me to breathe. With my hand on my throat, I tried desperately to suck as much oxygen in my lungs as possible, while I was repeatedly hitting the call button for the nurse. With each second, it felt more like minutes that my call was being unanswered.
Seeing as though help was taking far too long to come, I started yanking every cord or wire that I had attached to me, which made all the machines in the room start beeping. Not giving a fuck, I got out of the bed. Well, at least I tried to . . . until my legs started giving out on me. I was almost to the door when my legs failed me completely. I damn near broke my back when I hit that cold-ass floor. The last thing I remembered was a nurse rushing to my aid before everything went black.
Troy
Three Weeks Ago . . .
If there was one thing that I hated the most for sure, it was a bitch-ass nigga. A nigga who walked, talked, and looked like a man, but was actually a bitch. One who did bitch things, but wants to be known to the world as a man. Get the fuck outta here with that shit, giving people nothing but bitchassness.
After leaving Mimi’s house, I went home so that Kayla could get some rest. I knew she was tired because of what the poor child has been through these past hours. Between just meeting her siblings and reuniting with her mother, then to have to see both of her parents lying dead in the living room . . . Shit, I know that had to be hard on her. I mean, even though both of my parents are basically dead to me, I still can’t relate to that. Then, by her only being eight, shit, I know that’s a hard pill to swallow there. This is going to be so hard for her to come back from, and to be totally honest, she might not be straight after this.
I wonder where that li’l pussy-ass nigga Kaylin done ran off to. I done called all over looking for his bitch ass, and no one seems to know where he’s at. Either they’re lying for him, or he done up and left that damn fast. Kaylin’s a bitch nigga to me for two reasons. One reason is that he cheated on Mimi countless times, and she still took him back with no problems, and here he wants to trip when he found out that she done pulled his shit on him. The second reason is that he wasn’t man enough to walk away from the shit. He did his dirt, and she did hers. She ain’t killed his ass, so why he had to go and kill her? I mean, take ya lick like a fucking man and keep it pushing—but, no, he just had to go there. He had to play the bitch role and kill her, then he want to take her kids and leave. Again—bitchassness.
I sat in total darkness as I thought about Mimi. To me, my girl was one of the realest to ever bless this cold-ass world. She was a strong and caring woman who would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She wasn’t selfish. She was always putting everyone and their needs and happiness before hers. No matter what, she never once turned anybody down for anything. She had a heart of gold and like Boosie Badazz once said, “One day, this heart going to get me zipped up in a body bag.” My bitch was laid up in a body bag, in a morgue, cold as ice, and I ain’t do shit to help her. If only I would’ve went with her, then she would probably still be here, I thought as I brought the bottle of Peach Cîroc that I was drinking up to my lips. I’ve been drinking and sitting in the dark all night. I can’t help it, though. Every time I try to close my eyes, I kept picturing Mimi lying dead on her living-room floor. Shit still had me in a fucked-up state of mind.
Getting up from the sofa, I walked into the kitchen to get me another bottle to drink. My mind was all fucked up, and drinking was the only way I was able to put my mind at ease. I went into the cabinet where I kept my liquor and grabbed a bottle of Patròn. I needed something a whole lot stronger right now. As I was about to open the bottle, my phone started ringing. I knew it was Mark, because Verse Simmonds’s song “Boo Thang” started playing, and that was his ring tone. Both he and Jayden were supposed to be coming back down here, but I didn’t think that they’d be here this quickly, because I’d just talked to them about four hours ago. It takes damn near seven hours to get from West Virginia to Atlanta, so why is he calling me? I thought as I walked back into the living room.
“Hello,” I said answering the phone and slurring a bit.
“Yo, ma, what’s up?” Mark asked.
“Ain’t shit up, I’m sitting over here trying to drink myself into a fucking coma,” I replied, opening the bottle that I had in my hand. I grabbed the glass to pour my drink, but then the thought occurred to me, Fuck that glass, I might as well drink straight from the bottle.
“Ma, you need to chill on that. I know that it’s going to be hard to deal with, but I’m pretty sure Mimi wouldn’t want you to do that,” he said, pissing me off. Right now was not the time to be telling me what Mimi would’ve wanted me to do and shit.
“Well, tell me what I’m supposed to do, huh? You just tell me what I should do, Mark, because you don’t get it. You really don’t. I lost my best friend, my family. She was the only one there for me when nobody else was. Whenever I had needed anything, I could always count on her. I didn’t just lose my best friend, I lost my sister. That nigga killed my fucking sister, and I ain’t do shit to help her,” I replied as I started crying again. No matter what they say, this shit will not be easy.
“I understand all that, ma. I been through that before. I can tell you that drinking ain’t going to make it better, and it won’t bring her back. You just have to take it one day at a time. Time heals all wounds, baby. You’re going to be all right. You’re not alone. Remember that I’m always here if you need me.” He sounded more like a father instead of a friend, but it made me feel a little better to know that he was here for me.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t falling for him, because surely but slowly—I was—falling for
him, that is. He’s been there for me in my time of need. He could’ve been like any other man and taken advantage of me. Hell, he could’ve said to hell with me and left me on my own, but he didn’t. He was a great friend, and I appreciated him for that.
“Okay,” I murmured.
“Aye, what’s your address again?” he asked. I quickly gave him the address and told him that I’d call him back once I straightened up.
After hanging up the phone with Mark, I went to check on Kayla. Peeking in the room, I noticed that she was still sleeping, so that gave me some time to clean up, take a shower, and cook us some breakfast. I started with the living room. There wasn’t a whole lot that I had to do, so it didn’t take me long at all. After that, I then went to the kitchen. Everything else was already clean. After finishing that, I went into the bathroom and prepared to take a shower. I wish that I could soak in the tub, but I knew that Kayla would be up soon, and I wanted her to have something to eat. I wanted to make her stay here as cozy as possible for the time being.
When I was done, I threw on my bathrobe and went into my room to put some clothes on. Walking over to the dresser, I looked at the picture of Mimi and me when we graduated from high school. I wanted to cry, but as Mark said, I know she wouldn’t want me to cry. No matter where you looked, my whole room had some kind of memory of her. Picking up the picture, I kissed it and set it back down. “Mimi, I’m so sorry, I know that I promised to always be there for you, and I failed miserably,” I said as a lonely tear fell down my cheek. As I was about to wipe it, I heard somebody enter the room. Turning around I noticed that it was Kayla. I quickly wiped my face as I walked over and hugged her.
“Auntie Troy,” she said, wiping her eyes.
“Yes, baby,” I replied.
“Are you crying?” she asked.
“Uhhh, no, baby, Auntie had something in her eyes,” I replied, saying the first thing that came to my mind.
“It’s okay, Auntie Troy. She’s with the angels in the sky now,” Kayla replied. As much as I tried to hold them in, tears came running down my cheeks. Here I was, twenty-six. She was only eight years old, and there she was, holding up better than I was.
“Auntie is fine Kay Kay. I just miss her, that’s all.” I replied as I stood up. “Come on, let’s go cook us some breakfast.”
Before leaving my room, I took one last look at the many pictures of Mimi and me. That’s when I decided that after the funeral, I’d be putting this place back on the market. There was no way that I’d be able to continue to stay here and not think of Mimi. I just had to get the fuck out of here. There were just too many memories of her everywhere. In all honesty, I realized that my life as I knew it was going to be over, and since my best friend wasn’t here to get revenge on the people who did this shit to her, then I’d do it for her. I was not stopping until both Kaylin and Stacy felt my muthafucking pain, and that’s a bet!
Walking into the living room, I sat Kayla down on the sofa and went to turn on the TV. After changing the channel to cartoons, I went into the kitchen to cook us some breakfast. Just as I was about to put the skillet on the stove, I heard Kayla scream.
“What’s wrong, Kayla?” I asked, running into the living room. She didn’t say anything. She just pointed at the TV. Looking at the television, I saw a picture of Kaylin, with a banner at the bottom that said, “Wanted for questioning.” I knew she was probably scared that he might come back, so I decided to change the channel, but a picture of Kailay, Kayson, and Kaylon popped up, with an Amber Alert at the bottom. I hurriedly tried to change the channel so that Kayla wouldn’t see it, but she saw it anyway.
“Auntie, is that my sister and brothers?” she said, getting up.
“Yes, Kayla, that’s them,” I replied, turning the television off.
“Why are they on TV?” she asked, looking sad. “Did they get hurt too? When are they coming back?”
“No, Kayla, they’re not hurt. The reason why they are on the TV is that they were reported missing, and they need people’s help to find them, so that they can bring them home,” I explained to her as best as I could. Looking at her sad little face had me feeling sad for her.
“Okay,” she said in a soft voice.
“It’s going to be okay, sweetie. Auntie Troy’s here for you,” I said, hugging her. I promised myself that I’ll do my best and be there for her.
“Now, why don’t we go and get you dressed? Then we can go out and eat breakfast,” I said, deciding to change the subject to something else.
“Okay,” she replied, giving me a small smile.
“Come on, I should have something of Kailay’s in my closet. I’m sure you’ll be able to fit in it. You look like you’re about the same size as her,” I said, walking in the other bedroom.
Looking through the closet, I found a little yellow and white sundress. Thank God she and Kailay were twins, and they could actually fit the same shoes and clothes, because I happened to find a brand-new pair of white sandals too. That reminds me that I’ll have to take her shopping, so we might as well add that to our agenda for the day.
After getting Kayla dressed, I pinned her hair up into a messy bun and added a yellow ribbon. When she was done, I let her look at herself in my full-length mirror. She twirled around and smiled. She looked so much like Tyreek and Mimi that it brought tears to my eyes.
“Okay, little lady, let’s go,” I said to her. I grabbed my purse and keys, and we headed out the door. The day was beautiful and under normal circumstances, it would’ve been the perfect time for parents to take their kids to the park to play. After everything that’s happened, I didn’t really feel like doing anything. The only thing I was going to do today is to check on Mimi’s salons, club, and then spend some time with Kayla. Tomorrow, I’ll make the necessary arrangements for the funeral. Lord knows how much I’m not ready for that, but it has to be done.
Before going to eat breakfast, I stopped by the main salon to check up on a few things. When I pulled up on the street that the salon was located on, I noticed that there was an assload of cops out there. When I got closer, I realized that they were at the salon and not just on the street. Bringing the car to a complete stop, I hopped out and grabbed Kayla from the back. I spotted Candy by the front door, and as I grabbed Kayla’s hand, I hurried over to her to find out what was going on.
“’Sup, Candy, what’s going on?” I asked, once I made it to where she was.
“I don’t know. When we got here this morning, there were cops all over the place. We tried to ask them what was going on, but they said that they could only give out information to the owner, and Mimi hasn’t been answering the phone,” she said, looking worried. At the mere mention of Mimi’s name, my eyes started to get misty.
“Candy, have you seen the news lately?” I asked, choking up. I then looked away and quickly wiped the tears that had escaped my eyes.
“No, I’m not the type of chick who watches the news. Why? What happened that I don’t know about?” she asked, looking like a concerned parent.
“First, let’s get to the bottom of this and I’ll fill you in on the rest of that later,” I said, quickly trying to change the subject.
Taking a quick look around, I spotted the first officer in uniform and walked over to him. “Excuse me, can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I approached him.
“And might I ask who you are?” he said with a hint of an attitude. I had to catch myself before I blew, because knowing me as well as I did, I’d tell his doughnut-eating ass off in a heartbeat, but right now was not the time or the place.
“Well, who might I be? I might be the owner,” I retorted. Fuck, it was too hot, and my best friend was dead. I ain’t got time to fuck with these flashlight-toting motherfuckers. Shit, I had better and more important things to be doing instead of looking in this pig’s face. I guess since I’m black, he wanna look down on me and shit, but what he don’t know is that just like white folks could get big and rich and shit, us black folks could d
o the same thing. “As a matter of fact, point me to the person who’s in charge,” I said in a disgusted tone.
Rolling his eyes, he pointed toward an elderly black man who was standing by a parking meter talking on his phone. Rolling my eyes, I walked off toward the head nigga in charge.
“Excuse me, sir,” I said, trying to get his attention.
“Hold on,” he said to whoever he was on the phone with. “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?” he asked.
“Umm, I’m the owner of this salon right here, and I’m trying to find out what is going on.”
“Okay, give me a minute,” he said and went back to his call. I stood off to the side, trying to give him some privacy. When he was done with his call, he came walking over to me.
“Sorry about that, but what is your name, miss?”
“My name is Troy Miller.”
“Well, I was under the impression that . . . uhmmm,” he paused, trying to find something on his notepad. “Ms. Amina Washington was the owner of this shop,” he said, looking back at me.
“Yes, she was the previous owner, but I’m the new owner,” I said, reaching into my purse and pulling out the document that Mimi had me sign. “Oh, and I’m Amina’s sister too.”
Looking over the document, he sighed. “Oh, okay. Well, this looks legit.”
“Yeah, so it seems,” I replied in a sarcastic tone. I guess he was mad because I was making his job a little harder to do today. “Now can you tell me what’s going on here?”
“Well, it seems that this shop was broken into and vandalized this morning,” he said, removing his glasses from his eyes as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“Broken into and vandalized?” I asked for confirmation.
“Yes, it’s pretty bad in there,” he said, looking back at the shop.
“Can I have a look around?” I asked. I wanted to see the damages for myself.
“Sure, right this way,” he said, leading the way.
My heart rate started speeding up as we walked closer to the front door. There was already so much shit going on, I didn’t need this shit right now. I mean, how much more could I take? Fuck!