by Adam Wallace
Chapter Seven
A meet and greet
Pete laughed at Molloy, who was running alongside his horse, pretending he was exhausted and that the horse wouldn’t let him on. Tahnee watched Pete laughing and smiled. Smithers rolled his eyes.
‘Don’t you ever act serious?’ he asked Molloy.
Molloy was about to answer when a voice, speaking in a strange accent, stopped them all in their tracks.
‘Pete McGee,’ said the voice. ‘How do you do?’
Pete looked at the others, who obviously had no idea what was going on. Pete shrugged.
‘Pretty good, thanks,’ he replied. ‘Yourself?’
‘Well, actually I am good, thanks for asking …
I mean, how dare you speak to me, the Master of Darkness?! I do the talking and you do the non-talking.’
‘Also known as listening,’ cut in a rather posh English voice.
‘I know it’s listening,’ said the first voice. ‘I was being dramatic.’
‘And a tad over-wordy.’
‘Perhaps, but that’s what we do when we are evil. We talk too much and by the time we’re finished it’s always too late.’
‘Like now? When those jolly old children have already moved on?’
‘Yes, like now when those—WHAT?’
Syra looked in the crystal ball, which now showed an empty field. He groaned and re-tuned the vision so it focused on the group again. They would only be able to hear him if they were visible in the ball.
‘Hello? I am back now.’
‘This is really weird,’ Pete said to the others. ‘But let’s hear him out. Could be fun.’
‘It could be fun,’ cut in the voice. ‘Or it could be no fun at all! A complete lack of fun. Funless. No fun for you, little boy with the one arm.’
Pete was stung by the one-arm and the little-boy name-calling, but he had been hearing it for so long he moved on pretty quickly.
‘Yeah, yeah, heard it all before, voice in the sky,’ he said. ‘Who are you anyway?’
‘Pete,’ said the voice, deeper than it had been before. ‘I am your father.’
‘Really? My dad? That’s … hang on a minute! No you’re not. My father never had a weird accent. Who are you really?’
The voice hesitated for a second, then spoke in a whisper.
‘I’m Batman.’
‘Who?’
The voice tried again.
‘I am your worst nightmare.’
This caught Pete out a bit. How did the voice know about his dreams?
‘Really? The one where I turn up at knight training in a pink tutu and have a pink ribbon in my hair and do a hula dance?’
Smithers and Molloy laughed, and Pete realised he had said too much. It didn’t matter to the voice.
‘What? No, that is just weird. Hula dance? What is that anyway?’
‘Never mind,’ Pete said. ‘Do you have a point to make?’
‘Well yes, little one, I do. I am here to challenge you.’
‘By gum, that rhymes.’
‘What’s that, Bob? Oh yes, it did indeed. I am a poet and once again I was unaware of it.’
‘Jolly good show though, old man.’
‘Thank you, my evil sidekick.’
‘HELLO? Can we get to the point please? I have a wedding to get to.’
‘Sorry, McGoo.’
‘That’s McGee,’ Pete said, trying to keep a straight face. Smithers and Molloy were having their first bonding moment, laughing like crazy at the whole scene. They looked at each other, realised they were both laughing, then put on their serious faces and turned away from each other. Tahnee just rolled her eyes.
‘Yes, of course: McGee. Sorry. Now, McGee, I am going to set you a series of challenges, each one more difficult than the one before, to see if you are truly worthy of being the hero to my villain.’
‘Oh,’ Pete said. ‘Will it take long? I really do have to get home.’
‘Yes it will take long! It will take lots of long!’
‘Oh. Okay, well, sorry, funny-voice, but I will have to say no. I just don’t think challenges and quests are who I am any more. Try again in a month. I might be ready then.’
‘No! Most certainly not in a month! Now!’
‘Right. Well, that’s a no from me then.’
‘Really?’
‘Really.’
‘Oh, come on, just a couple of little challenges? To warm ourselves up?’
‘Nope, I am not going to be distracted. I have things I need to do. I promised Mum I would help her with the wedding. Knight training starts up again soon too.’
‘It won’t really take long though. I was pulling your leg off. It will just take a little long.’
‘Nope.’
‘Yes.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘I do think so.’
‘No! I’m over running off on challenges and quests. People I love get hurt. People I love die. I’m done. It’s time for me to grow up.’
‘Time to grow up? You are ten, or eight or something.’
‘Fifteen, my friend, and now our very odd conversation has to finish. Bye for now.’
‘Oh, come on. I really need to …’
The voice faded out as the group of friends rode on. They realised that if they kept moving, the voice couldn’t speak to them. Every now and again (which was when Syra could re-focus on them) they would hear a ‘Pleeeease?’ or a ‘Do as I say’ faintly in the distance, but that was it. After a little while they looked at each other and burst out laughing at the total weirdness of the whole thing. Then they kicked their horses into action and galloped off.
Syra Tanooth was disappointed. He had really thought that Pete McGee would take him up on his challenge. He looked forlornly at Bob.
‘Well, Bob, it seems we are finished before we even began.’
‘Not at all, old bean,’ Bob replied. ‘You did hear the young chap mention a wedding, did you not?’
‘Well, yes, I think I did hear that.’
‘Righty-o then: would a wedding be the perfect place to cause some chaos, perhaps? Would it give this McGee fellow no choice but to face us?’
Syra’s eyes slowly lit up. Then the whole room lit up. Then the forest around his house lit up. Then he did a quick spell to put out the flames so the forest didn’t burn. Then he turned everything to black and darkness fell.
‘Yes. Yes, Bob, you are right. I am the Master of Darkness, and now my power shall be lit up for the world to see—that and I do like wearing a tuxedo. I don’t know what we will put you in; you have an awful figure to dress. Perhaps a muu-muu? But that is for later. Come, Bob, we must plan our attack.’
With that he swirled his cape around his shoulders and moved off to the planning room. Bob followed, a radiant smile on his face. He had always wanted to wear a muu-muu.
Chapter Eight
Here comes the bride, all dressed in white
The wedding was ready to go. Mrs McGee was extremely pleased with how everything looked: flowers were in place, streamers were in place, and the weather was perfect. Marloynne looked handsome as he waited for Ashlyn. And there, by his side, was her son: her little boy who was fast becoming a strapping young man. She smiled and stepped back inside to help Ashlyn finish getting ready.
Pete was fidgeting. He wasn’t used to wearing formal clothes, and the tightness of the shirt around his neck was killing him. King Rayon had supplied him with the outfit, but Pete would much rather have been in the casual clothes he usually wore. He had the note from his mum though, as usual, and the tiger eye crystal Ashlyn had given him on his fourteenth birthday. He never left home without them. He just wished the clothes weren’t so uncomfortable.
Marloynne was fidgeting as well. Not because of the clothes, they felt fine. It was more because he was about to marry the absolute love of his life. Marloynne still had nightmares about being brainwashed by King Cyril the Dead-and-Buried and his evil advisor Faydon. The person he had become u
nder their influence had been nasty and selfish, and Marloynne had a constant fear that that person would resurface one day. He spent every ounce of energy making sure that didn’t happen. He glanced at Pete. Pete pulled a face at him. Marloynne laughed, relaxing a little. He was glad to have Pete by his side.
Smithers and Molloy were fidgeting too. They were standing next to each other. They were both dressed up very nicely, but the competition that had been brewing between them was close to boiling. Both of them were great friends with Pete McGee. The problem was, each thought the other had no right to be Pete’s best friend.
Earlier that day, Smithers had ‘accidentally’ bumped into Molloy as he walked past. Molloy had ‘accidentally’ tripped Smithers over. Now, standing at the wedding, waiting for Ashlyn to appear and walk down the aisle, it got violent.
Molloy sent a quick jab into Smithers’ ribs. Smithers returned fire with a little back-heel kick to Molloy’s shin. Molloy punched Smithers in the arm. Smithers gave Molloy a horsie. Molloy eyegouged Smithers. Smithers head-butted Molloy. Molloy tried to body slam Smithers and then both fell in a heap on the ground, wrestling. Tahnee groaned and tried to pull them apart, but couldn’t, what with the legs and arms flying everywhere. Luckily Smithers’ dad, Head of the King’s Guards, saw the kerfuffle and, with the help of a nearby knight, dragged the two boys out of the crowd.
Pete had watched it all. He thought it was funny in one way, but he didn’t really clue in to why his two friends were fighting. If he had known that he was the cause of the fighting, he would have knocked them both over the head and told them to stop being such idiots.
Ashlyn was fidgeting too, but with excitement. She had waited so long for this day, when she would declare her love for Marloynne in front of the world. Well, in front of the people who would be at the wedding, but to her it may as well have been the world.
She had almost lost Marloynne once, thanks to King Cyril the Tasty-Worm-Food, and now she wanted to hold on to him forever.
The finishing touches were made to Ashlyn’s veil and they were ready to go.
Mrs McGee stepped outside the door and looked for Pete. When she saw him, she gave the signal. Pete nodded, and gave a different signal to the band conductor. The conductor nodded, gave a different, different, signal to the musicians, and the wedding was underway.
Chapter Nine
Slipped on a banana peel and went for a ride
Marloynne, along with the rest of the crowd, gasped when Ashlyn walked down the aisle. She looked out-of-this-world beautiful. Pete recalled the time he had first met Ashlyn, when she had been a slave of the King, dressed in rags, underfed and in despair. Now she looked alive, radiant and totally in love. He grinned. She was so excited about this wedding. It had been funny watching her plan it all, right down to the last detail. And now here she was, walking towards Marloynne, her one true love. Surely nothing could go wrong now …
Something went wrong.
Ashlyn was walking down the aisle when a strange looking little man in a cape snuck out in front of her and placed a banana peel on the ground.
Syra Tanooth knew the ‘Here Comes the Bride’ song … the kids’ version, that is.
Ashlyn was looking around at the crowd. Everyone else was looking at Ashlyn. No one saw the banana peel. It was only ten metres from Marloynne and the altar.
Ashlyn stepped on the banana peel. She was dressed in white. She slipped on the banana peel and went for a ride. There was another gasp from every member of the crowd … except for Syra Tanooth and Bob, who giggled in delight: it had gone perfectly. It got better.
Ashlyn crashed into Pete McGee who swung his arm up to try and balance. All that did was whack Marloynne in the eye. Marloynne cried out and stepped backwards … straight onto the toe of the celebrant, who yelped in pain and hopped on one foot. Unfortunately, he hopped straight into the table that held the marriage certificates and whacked his shin. He howled out again and fell to the ground, knocking over a giant vase of flowers. Water gushed out of the vase, running all over everyone’s shoes … and all over Ashlyn’s wedding dress.
As everyone tried to pick themselves up, get dry and rub their sore spots, Syra Tanooth walked and Bob slid and slithered to the front of the crowd.
‘Gentlemen and female gentlemen, my name is Syra Tanooth, and I am the Master of Darkness!’
He paused, waiting for a response, but people were still helping Ashlyn stand up, and putting ice on the celebrant’s shin, so they didn’t really hear him.
‘I said, you nincomstoops,’ Syra tried again, in a louder voice this time, ‘That I am Syra Tanooth, the Darkness Master!’
‘Jolly good show, Syra,’ Bob whispered out of the corner of his mouth. ‘But I am rather sure you said Master of Darkness the first time, and Darkness Master the second.’
‘I know,’ Syra whispered back out of the corner of his mouth. ‘I am creating confusion and chaos in their minds. Watch this.’
He stood up as tall as he could, raised his hands to the sky, chanted a few magic words and suddenly the wedding was covered in darkness. It was as if the sun had burnt out. Everyone gasped one more time and stared up at the sky. Pete, standing with Molloy, Tahnee and Smithers, also looked up, wondering what was going on.
‘Yes, future slaves,’ Syra said. ‘I have your attention now.’
‘Who said that?’ someone cried out.
‘Who’s speaking?’ cried another.
‘I can’t see anything.’
‘Where’s my mummy?’
‘I think I peed my pants.’
‘ENOUGH!’ Syra thundered. ‘I am the Master of Darkness, and unless your great hero Pete McGee dares to face me, you shall live your lives forever in the dark.’
Pete tried to move forward, but Tahnee held him back.
‘Wait a second, Pete,’ she whispered, having figured out that Syra was the voice in the sky they’d heard earlier. ‘Let’s see if he has any patience.’
Pete nodded and stayed where he was. Meanwhile, Bob had slithered over the top of Marloynne and was holding him captive in his slimy grip. He had also attempted to slide over Ashlyn, but in the dark it was hard to see, and he actually slid over someone else.
‘Listen closely, Pete McGee. My evil sidekick, Bob, has your wedding … people in his evil grip. We shall hold them hostage until you agree to face me in battle. I shall do evil things to them, you mark my wordage.’
Pete stared at the shapes around him. His eyes were starting to get used to the dark now, and he saw Ashlyn, surrounded by people telling her the dress was fine. But if she was there, who did this Bob have captive? He had to find out, so he snuck around the crowd, checking who was there and who wasn’t.
‘Time is running out for you!’ Syra cried. ‘We leave in ten seconds. You must try and save your friends, little knight. Then we shall see what you are made of.’
Pete searched frantically; he had almost found everyone, except …
‘Time is up, boy knight. We leave. Come to save your friends … if you do dare!’
There was a flash and they were gone. Pete finished his head count. He knew who the evil duo had taken. He dropped to his knees in the darkness.
‘MUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM!’
Chapter Ten
It’s on. Oh it is on, my friend, don’t you worry about that!
Pete was ready to go straight away; none of this ‘I won’t be up for challenges’ stuff, none of this ‘I have training to finish’. No, none of that at all. His mum had been kidnapped. His mum! He was angry and everything, but also kind of excited. He wanted adventure and challenges and quests. That was who he was. He had been kidding himself with all that other stuff. Now it was simply a case of let’s get this happening and go and save my mum and make that blob into a beanbag.
Molloy, strangely, had a calming influence on Pete. He even dropped his rhyming slang.
‘Pete, wait. This isn’t one you can do on your own. I know that’s how you like to do things, but not this
time. This time you have our support.’
‘Agreed,’ said Tahnee, stepping beside her brother.
‘Agreed,’ said Smithers, stepping to the other side of Molloy, who rolled his eyes.
‘Oh, I suppose you can come along and watch,’ he said to Smithers, who just fake laughed in response.
‘I’m coming too, Pete,’ said Ashlyn. Pete started to protest, but the look in Ashlyn’s eyes told him not to argue, so he closed his mouth and said nothing. He almost felt sorry for Syra Tanooth.
‘You have our skills,’ Molloy said.
‘And our support,’ said Tahnee.
‘And my axe!’ cried Arnold the Small. To prove his worth Arnold raised the axe and brought it down with huge force onto a wooden seat. Unfortunately, the seat stayed intact while the blunt axe just bounced off it. Then the head of the axe fell to the ground. Arnold the Small picked it up, his usually surly expression turning sad.
‘Ah, who am I kidding? This is the worst axe ever. You’re on your own, kid. I’m leaving to take up donkey training.’
And with that he dropped the axe and skipped out of sight.
‘Okay,’ Pete said, watching him go. ‘That was pretty weird.’
He turned back to the group that faced him: Molloy, Tahnee, Smithers, Ashlyn. They were, aside from his mother and Marloynne, the people that meant the most to him in the entire world. They were there for him, and it blew him away. At the same time though, he wanted them to stay home, to stay safe. He didn’t want to risk losing them all. Before he could say anything, King Rayon stepped to Pete’s side.
‘Young McGee,’ he said in his gentle voice. ‘You are about to leave on a dangerous mission from which you may not return. I have the utmost faith in you, and your friends, however I also wish to be of assistance. You may gather any weapons and supplies you require from the castle. Smithers, you know where everything is.’
Smithers nodded.
‘You big chicken,’ Molloy said under his breath, but loud enough for Smithers to hear. (Just to clarify, even though ‘you big chicken’ would have been an insult, Molloy was actually back in rhyming slang mode, and chicken = cluck = rhyming slang for suck. So he was calling Smithers a suck, a teacher’s pet, a kiss arse … ooops, don’t think I’m allowed to say that one. Ummmm, okay, well, let’s move on to less rude words shall we?)