by Adam Wallace
Bob sighed and clapped two blobby bits together.
The first challenge was underway.
Pete walked at the front of the group, Molloy by his side. They had laughed and joked for a while, but Pete walked in silence now. Molloy didn’t. In fact, it was probably physically impossible for Molloy to do anything in silence. Pete didn’t mind though. He was glad to hear his friend’s voice again. He was glad to hear the crazy stories.
Smithers wasn’t so keen on the stories. There was something about Molloy he wasn’t sure about, and he was ready to pounce. Pete was his friend now, and he wasn’t about to let this outsider come in and ruin everything.
Tahnee and Ashlyn walked together, bringing up the rear of the group. Tahnee tried to start a few conversations but Ashlyn didn’t say a word. She just stared straight ahead and kept on walking. Tahnee eventually gave up.
Suddenly, they heard noises coming from the trees around them: manic, chittering, out of control noises. The group closed in tight, back-to-back, protecting all angles.
The noises came closer.
Pete looked at Molloy and Smithers, who were on either side of him. They were good fighters, as was Tahnee. He wasn’t sure about Ashlyn, and decided then and there that he would do all he could to protect her.
When a blur of creatures leapt out of the trees, Molloy, Smithers and Tahnee dropped into fighting poses and faced them. Pete McGee drew his dagger and stepped in front of Ashlyn. Suddenly, they all burst out laughing. Well, all of them except for Ashlyn, whose face was still stony and determined.
‘Good luck, McGee, this is your first and most likely final test,’ boomed Syra Tanooth’s voice from the sky. ‘Prepare to meet your doom!’
Pete almost fell over laughing.
‘Really?’ he asked, laughing so much tears were streaming down his face. ‘This is the first test?’
He fell to the ground as five of the creatures jumped on him and nuzzled against his chest.
‘Yes, that is correct. You must face and defeat the mighty squirrels. They have evil claws. They have mighty teeth. And I have heard they are after your nuts.’
This made the group, especially Molloy, laugh even harder. A squirrel hopped over to Tahnee and leapt up. She caught it and stroked it as it cooed and purred. Syra yelled out with glee.
‘Aha, attack my pretty. Crush her to little pieces. Attack, little squirrel! Bob, why does it not attack?’
‘Actually,’ Bob answered, ‘I tried to tell you this before. I do believe squirrels are about as scary as little baby duckies.’
A few of the squirrels had gotten bored and were scampering back into the trees. Pete and the others herded the rest back to the forest as well. Tahnee didn’t want to let her squirrel go.
‘Aww come on, Pete. Can I keep him? Look at those big eyes. He’s beautiful.’
Pete almost melted but he held firm.
‘Sorry, Tahnee, but we can’t put this little guy in danger. He’ll be safer here.’
Tahnee nodded. She had been half mucking around and yet half serious. The squirrel was just sooooo cute. She walked over, gave it a little kiss on the head, and let it go. It ran to the edge of the forest, turned around, stood on its hind legs, made some noises and then ran off to join the other squirrels nibbling on their nuts.
The first test was over.
Syra Tanooth was not happy.
‘Pete McGee,’ he boomed. The friends stopped laughing and looked up at the sky again.
‘It seems you have been fortunate enough to pass your first test. Do not fear; there will be many more before you reach your destination, and they will only become more difficult.’
Pete and his friends laughed and pretended to be scared.
‘NO!’ cried Molloy, sinking to his knees. ‘Please don’t attack us with kittens. Or little chicks. Or … no, you wouldn’t dare send out the little bunny wunnies!’
‘Quiet, little man. Stop trying, and succeeding slightly, to be funny! You will not defeat me, Pete McGee, that much I can see. The winner will be me!’
‘Well fiddle dee dee,’ Pete replied, teasing Syra for his accidental rhyme, and thinking this was all going to be easier than he had thought. ‘Maybe, after some tea, you can set us free, and then sail the sea? Oh, I need to do a wee.’
Syra tried to think of something witty and cutting in reply, but all that came into his mind was Yeah, well, you are, and So there! so he decided to keep quiet. Pete and his friends started walking, knowing they could get away from the voice if they moved fast enough. Behind them the squirrels chattered in the trees. In front of them lay their destiny. In the middle was Pete McGee and, after talking about it, he really did need to take a wee. He hoped they would stop for a break soon.
Chapter Fourteen
Legs get physical
Bob sat on the ground in the main room. Syra had been alone in the bathroom for some time now, and Bob was getting worried. He was about to slide over and knock on the door when it burst open and Syra Tanooth hopped out … with only one leg.
‘Look at me, Bob,’ he said. ‘Oh, Pete McGee is so special because he can do things with one arm. Well, let’s see him stand up against a one-legged villain.’
‘Pure evil genius, Syra,’ Bob gushed. ‘He will not be able to defeat you. I truly think you are onto something here. In fact, I would like to contribute as well. I believe that you will be even more evil and successful with no legs.’
And with that Bob reached out a blobby bit, grabbed an axe, and chopped off Syra Tanooth’s other leg. Syra fell to the ground, screaming in pain.
‘You idiot! What are you doing? I didn’t really chop off my leg, I was pretending. Look. It’s here! Now I really do only have one leg. Oh the pain, the pain of it all. Why did you do that?’
Bob smiled.
‘It’s starting to happen, Syra,’ he said. ‘I think I am starting to become as evil as Mumsy wanted me to be. I knew you were only pretending, and yet all I wanted to do, by gum, was chop off your leg. So I did. Jolly good show, wasn’t it?’
‘No. No it wasn’t. Not one jolly bit! You chopped off my leg! I needed that leg to truly be evil and defeat Pete McGee. You don’t give up an advantage! How can I run? What if I need to run?’
Bob thought this over and realised Syra was right.
‘It’s okay,’ Bob said. ‘I can fix this. I am an expert at sewing. Mumsy thought it would be a useful skill to have.’
And with that he dragged Syra Tanooth off to the sewing room (yes, even in an evil villain’s lair there is often a sewing room. It’s just in case they need to make some evil outfits).
Marloynne and Mrs McGee watched the sharks swimming below them and listened helplessly to the screams coming from the other room. They assumed their evil captors had captured someone else and were torturing them. They hoped they wouldn’t be next.
Pete McGee sat underneath a tree, the Green Book in his lap. He sat alone and watched the others, trying to work out what to do next. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and soon they would set up camp for the night. According to the Green Book they were still half a day’s march from the cave where the evil blob had been banished. Even when they got there, Pete didn’t know what they would find. He severely doubted his mum and Marloynne were being held there. This Syra Tanooth guy seemed pretty dumb, but he wouldn’t be that dumb. Surely not. Still, you could only hope.
Pete tried to get his head around Syra, but he couldn’t. He wondered what Syra Tanooth’s goal was. It seemed that he simply wanted to take Pete down, and Pete had no idea why. They’d never even met before. Syra had talked about wanting to face Pete in battle, but then set a test that he thought would kill Pete. It was the worst test ever in terms of killing someone, but that’s not the point. It’s the thought that counts. It was all too weird.
Pete sighed. He thought about knight training, how rigid it was, and how he wanted to get out. Sometimes though, on journeys like this, being told what to do would come in handy. It would be so much e
asier than having to come up with the solution himself. Right now, it would just be really good if someone could tell him what to do.
Pete sighed again and rubbed his eyes. So much had happened in his life. He had been forced to grow up so quickly. It would be nice to be able to just be. But that wasn’t going to happen yet, and besides, in the back of his mind, Pete McGee knew that all he wanted to do was save his mum and Marloynne. After that he could think about all the other stuff. After that he could do whatever he wanted. Right now, in this moment, he needed to be Sir Pete McGee, the brave and noble knight. He needed to be a great man, a righter of wrongs, and a rescuer of fair maidens. Pete smiled. There were none fairer than his mum.
He closed the Green Book and put it on the ground. He would pick it up and pack it away later. Then he stood up and strode over to where Smithers and Molloy were training. It had started out as sparring but was starting to get serious. Pete didn’t want to be left out of that, so he leapt in with a battle cry, knocking Molloy to the ground and then facing Smithers, a huge grin on his face. It was time to get physical!
‘You idiot!’ Syra screamed. ‘It’s on back to front!’
Bob chuckled his posh English chuckle.
‘I know, by Jove! Oh, this is fantastic. I am so evil! You know, Syra, I am actually enjoying putting you through pain. Soon I will be ready to face Pete McGee.’
‘This is fantastic news,’ Syra said through gritted teeth. ‘For now, sew my leg back on properly please, you overstuffed beanbag!’
‘It would be my pleasure,’ Bob said with an evil grin, unpicking the stitches and singing a song. ‘My absolute pleasure.’
The sun had almost set, and darkness was taking over. Come morning, Syra Tanooth would have two legs once more.
The gang finished breakfast and started walking again. The new day had dawned bright and clear, with barely a cloud in the sky. This was good. The less darkness around the less influence there was from the Darkness Master.
Everyone was in good spirits. Smithers and Molloy were taking turns pulling faces, trying to get the better of each other. Ashlyn walked alone, deep in thoughts of Marloynne.
Pete walked with Tahnee. Neither of them spoke, but both enjoyed being near the other. Every now and again Pete would sneak a glance at Tahnee, and would marvel at how strong she looked as she walked, so proud. Her long hair was tied back in a braid, and she wore clothes with the insignia of Bandragon woven into them.
Tahnee looked at Pete and smiled. Embarrassed at being caught out, Pete glanced away, blushing.
‘So,’ he said, his heart pounding. ‘Nice day.’
He mentally slapped himself on the forehead. Nice day? He could only have got more boring if he had invited Tahnee to wash some dishes with him. She didn’t seem to mind though.
‘Sure is, Pete. What’s going on with those two?’
She nodded towards Molloy and Smithers, who were still having a go at each other. Pete shrugged.
‘No idea. They don’t seem to like each other though.’
Tahnee laughed.
‘Ha ha, you don’t get it, do you?’
‘Get what?’
‘They both want to be your best friend. They are trying to top each other. They want you to choose between them.’
‘Well it’s a pretty stupid way to go about it.’
‘They’re boys, Pete, they’re stupid … well, you know, you aren’t, but most boys are.’
Pete blushed again and looked away. Why did his heart have to start pounding every time Tahnee said something like that?
‘Well, I hope they sort themselves out soon. We need to be a team to take on Syra Tanooth and his blobby blob. We can’t be fighting each other if we want to save Mum and Marloynne.’
‘Well,’ Tahnee said, flashing one of her killer smiles, ‘I think it’s going to be up to you to make them see sense, Sir Pete McGee.’
With that she bowed low, laughing, before running off to walk with Ashlyn, leaving Pete watching her go with a dazed look on his face. A picture flashed into his mind of Marloynne and Ashlyn’s wedding, only it was him and Tahnee taking their place. Pete shook his head clear. Wedding fantasies? They were not the thoughts of a knight! He needed to focus, and he needed to focus now.
He shook his head again and laughed. He was pretty sure not many fifteen-year-old trainee knights had wedding fantasies!
Syra Tanooth woke from a deep sleep. He was pretty groggy. He stumbled to the breakfast table. His newly sewed-on leg felt a little strange, but seemed to work okay. He sat down. It felt like someone was kicking him in the butt. He quickly stood up again and looked down.
The leg was on alright, but it was upside down!
‘BOB!’ Syra screamed, hearing a little giggle from Bob’s room in response. Syra sighed. Oh well, he thought, at least he was going to have a truly evil sidekick. Now he just needed to focus that evil on Pete McGee. He would give Bob the chance to set the next test. That would do it. He put a sock on his foot, which was sticking out of his butt, and sat down to breakfast. The re-sewing of his leg could wait. It was time to see what Pete McGee was really made of.
Okay then. Welcome back to me, folks. The story is kicking along, and Pete and his friends are about to face another test. Who knows what it could be, especially after that last test was very possibly the worst test ever set in the history of tests. There have been spelling tests more evil than that. But Bob is getting his evil mojo back, so the next one could be anything. Evil creatures? A trap of some sort? A toilet that won’t flush? Now that would be evil, especially if certain people I know went to that toilet after eating a curry.
But I’m getting off track. Here’s where things stand, as I see them.
Pete McGee and his friends are on their way to save Marloynne and Mrs McGee.
Syra Tanooth wants to battle and defeat Pete, but at the same time he is setting tests for Pete to pass along the way. He is also kicking his own butt with his upside-down leg.
Molloy and Smithers are jealous of each other, and are fighting constantly.
Ashlyn is consumed with thoughts of Marloynne, and also thoughts of her wedding and what happened … at least that’s what I’m guessing. Getting words out of her is like getting blood out of a stone. Speak up girl!
Pete has a monster crush on Tahnee.
Tahnee, although she also has feelings for Pete, is focused on the battle ahead.
I’m hungry and I’m going to go and get a sandwich.
See you soon for the next chapter.
Chapter Fifteen
Test number two … hehe ‘number two’
'Alright, Blobby Bob,’ Syra Tanooth said. ‘Now that my leg is back to normal, it is time for you to show me how evil you have become. The second test is yours.’
Bob smiled. It was his time to shine.
‘Syra,’ he said, ‘I do believe our young travellers are nearing the cave where I spent some wonderfully awful years.’
‘You are correct, in a confusing sort of way.’
‘Well, by Jove, I know that area rather well. In fact, I happen to know that the cave is right next to … THE FOREST OF DEATH!’
‘Gasp!’ gasped Syra Tanooth.
‘It’s okay,’ Bob said, laughing. ‘That’s just what I call it. It’s nothing too serious, just a forest that comes alive and kills anything that enters it; paths confuse and confound; giant, bloodthirsty spiders roam about; straight lines become circles; tree limbs become real limbs; tree roots entrap and entangle and entwine … actually, to think about it, FOREST OF DEATH seems a pretty appropriate name!’
‘But how will we make them go into the forest, terribly evil Bob?’ asked Syra, impressed with his sidekick.
‘That,’ Bob answered, ‘I do not know. Although I asked a helpful little sprite to place a sign in the cave saying:
Go into the FOREST OF DEATH for the answer.
So that may help. I hope it does. Do you think it will?’
‘Let us see,’ Syra replied, tuning
in his crystal ball. ‘Let us see indeed! Mwahahahahaha.’
Bob had been practising his evil laugh too, and now seemed like a great time to let it rip.
‘MWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!’ he boomed.
‘That was nice, Bob, really. A great evil laugh.’
‘You liked it? Oh I am so wonderfully delighted. I have been practising it for some time now. It wasn’t forced?’
‘Oh no. No, no, no, no, not at all, totally natural.
Well done.’
Bob smiled from ear cavity to ear cavity then turned his focus to the crystal ball. Pete McGee and the rest of the group were walking by the FOREST OF DEATH and were approaching the entrance to his old cave. This was going to be fun.
‘So, Sweet, what’s our next groove?’ Molloy asked.
‘Don’t you ever speak normally?’ asked Smithers.
‘Don’t you ever look normally?’ Molloy replied.
Smithers scoffed and Pete ignored them both, although he thought it was a pretty good comeback from Molloy. He walked towards an opening in the massive rock wall in front of him. He could see it opened up into a tunnel. This had to be the cave. This had to be where they would find some answers, some clues. It had to be.
Pete walked in through the entrance and started down the tunnel. Tahnee was close behind. Ashlyn followed her, and Molloy and Smithers brought up the rear, jostling each other on the way down, bouncing off the walls. They continued for a short distance before the tunnel opened into a cave.
Back at the evil lair, a tear dripped down Bob’s blobbiness and onto the crystal ball as he saw the place that had been his cell for so long.
Back in the cave, a tear dripped down Pete’s cheek as he stubbed his toe really hard on a rock, and had to jump around doing the gritting-your-teeth-not-swearing thing.