"I know." - he had a evil look on his face - "That wasn't what I intended to do with your home address."
"So you've been planning this for weeks now and you never told me?"
"Nope! I wanted to tell you so badly, but I also wanted it to be a happy surprise. It wasn't exactly a happy surprise, but, oh well, it was definitely a surprise!"
"I'd say it was a happy one." - she kissed him softly on the lips and felt his smile - "But hey! Does that mean I'm not getting any postcard?"
"I'm afraid you are not."
"Oh, that's just so mean! I was really looking forward to getting them. I love getting mail." - she looked hurt.
"Sorry baby. Promise I'll make it up to you."
"Ok, now you promised. You can't go back on that one."
"I don't intend to." - he gave her a peck on the lips and hugged her. He wanted to feel her on his arms. Not letting go of the hug, Kirstin asked:
"Are you sleeping over?"
"I don't know. Do you want me to?"
Whispering, she said:
"Stay here and I'll go downstairs and talk to Tom. Stay here!" - Ashley nodded.
Seeing Kirstin on the stairs, Tom got up from the couch. He wasn't able to hear all of their conversation, but he was able to pick up some of it.
"Tommy, can I talk to you over here?" - she motioned for Tom to go into the kitchen area.
"Sure, what's up?"
In a low tone of voice, she started:
"Listen. Ashley's thinking of staying over. Do you think it would be a problem for you to… ahn… leave?"
Tom didn't want to show it but it was pretty obvious to Kirstin that he was not too happy about it.
"No, of course not! Not at all!"
"Really? You're not mad at me or anything?"
"Of course not! Don't be silly! Ashley is finally here. You've been talking about him for a while now and you should enjoy the most out of the time you have with him. Even being the jerk he is..."
"He's not like that Tom. You're gonna get to know him and find out he's a really great guy."
"I doubt it."
"Tom!" - she slapped him playfully on his shoulder - "Now… are you absolutely sure you're not mad? You're still gonna be my friend?" - she had a half smile on. She hated being like that, torn between her best friend and the guy she was with.
"Do you even have to ask?" - Tom would not just give up on their friendship because of what happened that day - "Let me just go change in the bathroom. I'll use the downstairs one and then I'll leave you two alone, alright?"
"Thank you so much, Tommy! You're the best friend in the world!" - she hugged him hard.
"You too, girl." - Tom looked up while hugging her and stared, smiling, at Ashley just to tease him.
When Ashley saw Tom getting into the bathroom, he headed downstairs.
"Is he leaving?"
"Yes, he's just gonna change and then he's off."
"Terrific!"
"Ashley, don't say anything to him when he gets out of there ok? Even if he teases you, don't say a thing, please!"
"I'll try. Can't promise though."
When Tom got out of the bathroom, Kirstin showed him to the door. Ashley was standing some feet away behind them.
"So, you'll call me tomorrow?"
"Yes, KeeKee."
"Ok then Tommy. Bye!"
"Bye." - he looked over Kirstin's shoulders - "Bye bye, pretty boy!"
Ashley wanted to knock him down, but he would not let Tom get to him. They hugged, kissed and Tom disappeared into the elevator.
"What the hell was that?" - Ashley snapped right after Kirstin closed the door.
"What the hell was what?"
"That thing, that… kiss goodbye you just did."
"Oh, that!"
"Yeah, that!"
"It's just something we came up with to do whenever we say 'hello' or 'goodbye' to one another."
What they were talking about was this method of kissing each other that Tom and Kirstin were used to doing. Tom would give Kirstin a peck on her nose and while he'd do that, Kirstin would peck him on his chin. It was a sweet, friendly way to greet each other.
"I don't like it at all. Can you stop doing that?"
"No!" - Kirstin was always firm on her believes, it wasn't an easy job to change her mind. Knowing that pretty well, Ashley just let that go and changed the subject.
"And KeeKee?"
"What about it?" - she had her hands on her hips.
"What is that? Who calls you that?"
"Tom does. He came up with that last week. It's a normal thing to do, create nicknames for your friends, you know? Now could you just stop acting like the jealous boyfriend? You're not my boyfriend!"
"I know! And I hate that!" - he snapped again.
"I thought you understood everything when we had that talk that day in your house."
"I did, it's just that… I want to say to the whole world you are my girlfriend! And I can't! It's just frustrating. I want you to be mine. All mine! Just mine!"
Getting closer and wrapping her arms around Ashley's neck, Kirstin whispered in his ear:
"I am all and just yours." - she sucked and licked his neck, driving him crazy. Soon, she pulled back - "So, what are you doing here in New York anyway? When are you leaving?"
"Wow, are you that anxious to get ride of me already?" - he asked while Kirstin pushed him by his arm, leading them to the couch. Sitting, she answered:
"Of course not! I wanna know how many days I have with you so I can start planning on how we're going to enjoy the most out of it."
"Oh, ok." - he smiled - "Well, today is Friday. We are leaving Tuesday."
"Cool! 4 days! Where do you guys go next?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about in person. On Tuesday we are flying off to Europe."
"That's nice! How long are you gonna stay there?"
"That's the problem. We're gonna be there for 2 months."
"2 months?" - Kirstin raised her voice, but she didn't intend to. She lowered it and asked again - "I'm sorry. 2 months?"
"Yeah. I know it's too much, but there's nothing I can do, I'm so sorry K."
Not knowing what to say and seeing that Ashley was just as upset as she was, Kirstin stated:
"I know it's not your fault, baby. We can work it out, of course. It's gonna be ok. You'll call me every day right?"
"Of course! Every single day, yes!"
"Good… so, see? It's gonna be just like it has been…" - she looked down - "only it's gonna be 2 months of just phone talk."
"K, look at me." - he lifted her chin up with his index finger and brushed a lock of her hair away - "2 months will go by so fast we are not even gonna notice it. And I promise I'll talk to the Mikes and try my best, when we come back, to get some time off so I can be with you, alright?"
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I wanna be with you so much. All the time. Whenever I'm not talking to you, I wanna call you and talk to you. Whenever we are talking over the phone, I wanna just… get inside it and show up here, right by your side" - Kirstin smiled - "I wanna see that smile everyday. I wanna kiss you whenever I feel like kissing you. I wanna hug you whenever I feel like hugging you. I want you."
"I want you too." - Kirstin hugged Ashley tight, her eyes watery. It was being too difficult for her, and knowing it wasn't just difficult for her, but for Ashley too, made her wonder if it was the right decision for them to be together. She soon washed that thought away. Of course it was the right thing to do. Ashley was all she ever wanted. Wasn't he? And he wouldn't hurt her like the others. Would he? Ashley was certainly the type of guy Kirstin wanted, sensitive, someone that makes her smile, but still she had some doubts about their relationship. She had to be certain about their relationship, though, before she'd call him her boyfriend. All the confused thoughts were disturbing her. She then suddenly felt a tear fall down her cheek.
Chapter 20
Pulling back, Ashley saw Kirstin's eyes red
and a single tear on her face.
"Hey baby, why are you crying?" – he gently wiped the tear with his thumb.
"I don't know… Just sad I guess, that we can't be together whenever we want to."
"I know. I hate that too. But hey! You could come on the tour if you want to."
"It's not that I don't want to, it's because I can't. I have college and work, I can't just go to Europe for 2 months!"
"I guess…" – Ashley sadly glanced down. No one said anything for a while. A moment later, Kirstin stated:
"I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep."
"Ok. Let's."
They held hands and got upstairs. That was when they heard the doorbell ring.
"Can you get that Ashley? Please?"
"Yeah, sure. Go to bed, I'll be up in a sec."
Kirstin went upstairs while Ashley went to get the door.
"Yes?" – he asked to the guy waiting on the door.
"You ordered a pizza?" – just then Ashley noticed the guy holding a box of pizza on one of his hands.
"Let me check on that." – he raised his voice just enough so Kirstin would listen to him from her bedroom – "Hey K, did you order a pizza?"
"Oh yeah! The pizza! Wow, that was late. Tom ordered that. Can you get that? My wallet is on the…"
"Don't worry. I'll pay the guy." – he said getting his wallet and paying the guy the right amount. Closing the door, he asked – "Do you wanna eat it, K?"
"Nope. If you want, go right ahead. There are plates on the cabinet over the sink. Just help yourself."
"Don't mind if I do. I'm starving."
"Go ahead."
After finish eating 3 slices of pizza, Ashley trailed to Kirstin's room. Kirstin had her eyes half opened.
"Can I sleep on the bed with you?" – Ashley whispered not knowing what would be the answer. Kirstin grinned.
"Of course!"
Ashley striped to his boxers and both of them slid under the covers. Kirstin was facing him, lingering her fingers around his muscular chest.
"Have you been working out?"
"Not too much, why?"
"I don't remember you being this hot in high school, that's all."
"You weren't that hot yourself!" – he said pretending to be offended.
"Now you're just lying. You know I was always hot."
"Yeah, you were…" – they giggled. Kirstin leaned her head on his chest and wrapped her right arm around his waist.
"Ashley, I'm sorry but I'm really sleep, I wanna sleep. Can you turn off the lights? The switch is over the night stand."
"Yes, sure." – he answered turning off the lights – "Sweet dreams, baby." – he kissed her forehead.
"Thank you. You too." – she said in a sleepy tone of voice. Ashley just smiled and stroked her head. He was so happy to be there, lying in bed with Kirstin. He didn't want the night to end. When he noticed Kirstin soon was sound asleep, he whispered to thin air:
"I love you…"
He kissed her forehead again before falling asleep.
NEW YORK – SATURDAY
Kirstin rubbed her eyes, yawned and just then realized Ashley was not in bed. She got up and from upstairs, she saw him doing something in the kitchen. He had his back to her.
"Good Morning, Superman! What are you doing?"
"Good Morning, Princess! Come down here!" – he motioned for her to go downstairs. When he saw her on the stairs, he continued – "I'm making breakfast! See?" – Ashley had set the kitchen counter for breakfast with bagels, French toasts, Lucky Charms, orange juice, jams, milk, cheese and a vase with flowers.
"Wow! Where did you get all that?"
"I had to go to the market across the street. I couldn't believe you didn't have any cereal!"
"I hate cereal and you know that."
"Yeah, but I thought, now that we are together, you'd buy a box so I'd have breakfast whenever I come over."
"I was gonna do that when you'd call me telling you were coming, but you never did that."
"Ok, I forgive you then."
"But hey! Those roses! Nice touch!" – Kirstin sat on a stool at the kitchen counter.
"I know. And I know you think red roses are cheesy, so I bought you these white ones." – he said sitting beside her on the other stool at the counter.
"Aw, thanks! How sweet!" – she gave him a peck on the lips. Ashley was pouring Kirstin some orange juice when she asked him – "What is the band doing these days here in the city?"
"Today and tomorrow we just have magazine interviews and photo shoots to do. The other days we have TRL, Good Morning America, Ricki Lake, The View, Regis… Guess that's it."
"Wow! All that in 2 days?"
"Yep! Busy schedule."
"Sure is. And you leave Tuesday right?"
"Yes. At midnight." – Kirstin nodded.
"And what time do you have to leave today to do all those stuff?"
"Now it's… 11:00. I have to leave in an hour to meet the guys at the hotel. Hey! You should come with me!"
"I don't know…"
"C'mon! It's gonna be so cool! What are you doing today? Nothing! It's Saturday! You should spend time with me!"
"I really don't have any plans for today, but Tom was gonna call and…"
"Oh, forget Tom! You have to come with me!"
"Ok, I'll go."
"Oh man, this is gonna be so great! You're gonna meet everybody, well, you've already met them, but you're gonna get to know the guys better and they will know you and everybody's gonna see how great you are and they'll understand why I'm so in love with you and…" – he suddenly stopped when he saw the shocked look on Kirstin's face. He realized what stupid thing he had done.
"What?" – was all Kirstin could think of to say.
"What?" – Ashley was acting like he had said nothing wrong and got up to put his bowl on the sink.
"What did you just say?" – Kirstin got up too and followed him.
"That I'm excited you're gonna meet the rest of the band." – Ashley couldn't look her in the eyes.
"Not that. The very last thing you said before stop talking. Look at me and tell me the last thing you said."
Ashley looked her in the eyes.
"I'm in love with you." – he quickly said that and left the kitchen trailing to the living room.
"Ashley, stop and look at me!" – Ashley stopped but didn't turn back. Seeing he wasn't gonna face her, she walked up to him;
"You love me? Is that it?" – she asked him. She was really close to him, talking over his shoulder, he had his back to her. He glanced down and whispered.
"Yes."
"Look at me." – Ashley slowly turned until his eyes met Kirstin's – "You love me?"
"Yes."
"And…" – she was feeling awkward – "Have you been feeling this way for a while now?"
"Yes."
"How long have you been feeling like this?"
"Since I was 17."
Kirstin bit her bottom lip. She didn't know what to say. The guy had just confessed he was in love with her for 3 years. She wanted to say she loved him too, but she was still confused about her feelings. And hearing him saying that he loved her didn't help, but made her even more confused. Ashley was still looking deeply in her eyes, waiting to hear a "I love you" back to him. But all he got was:
"I-I-I…" – she stuttered – "I don't know if I feel the same way, I'm so sorry." – she walked away from him. He quickly went after her and placed both his hands on her shoulders, stopping her from moving.
"K, now you look at me." – he turned her to face him – "I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me you love me just because I told you that. You should only say it when it's true and you really mean it. If you still aren't sure about your feelings, don't feel embarrassed around me. I love loving you. " – he smirked, but she couldn't smirk back – "I'll try everything, possible and impossible, to make you feel that way towards me, and if I ever succeed on that, when you finally tell me you love me, it's g
onna be totally worth the wait."
There was silence. Kirstin didn't know how to react to all that. It was the most sincere thing she had ever heard, yet, she had her doubts about that.
"Ashley, how can you love me? You don't know so many things about me."
"I know I don't and I'm willing to learn, if you give me the chance to. And I'm sure nothing that I'll learn later on will make me love you any less."
'This is too good to be true!' – Kirstin thought while sitting on her couch.
"K, listen. Please, do not feel awkward, embarrassed or whatever around me. I want everything to be just like it was 20 minutes ago, when you didn't know I loved you."
"But everything's different than 20 minutes ago!"
"No, it is not! I loved you 20 minutes ago just as much as I love you now! The only difference is that now you know."
"It's a big difference!"
"But, see? It shouldn't be! Please, do you think we can be the couple we were 20 minutes ago?" – Ashley pleaded, looking down to Kirstin sitting on the couch, both her hands on her face. Kirstin was trying to absorb all that information. It took a while for her to answer.
"Yes. We can be the same couple as before." – she revealed her face with a small smile.
"Really?"
"Yes. It's not gonna be a hard thing to do, I guess. And it's always good to hear someone says he loves you."
"Yes, it is." – Ashley stated – "Ok, good, great! Now let's go to the hotel. I'm gonna be late, I know I'll get the Mikes and Dan mad at me. Let's go!"
"Wait!" – Kirstin exclaimed when Ashley pulled her off the couch by her wrist – "I can't go like this!" – Ashley noticed Kirstin was still wearing the Coca-Cola shirt that she had slept in the night before.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Go change then!"
"You're lucky I'm not like you and I can get changed in a heart beat. Be right back!"
"Ok. Then go, go, go!"
HOTEL – 12:15 p.m.
"I knew we shouldn't have given Ashley permission to not sleep here." – Mike Morin was standing on the lobby talking to Mike Cronin. The other O-Town boys were sitting on a couch, also on the lobby, but far away from the Mikes.
"There he is." – Cronin informed and both Mikes went to Ashley's direction.
Life After That Page 13