Like that. The anger drained almost visibly out of Marsalis. Though he didn’t move at all, somehow he seemed to step away.
‘I was eleven,’ he said quietly.
And then he did walk away, without looking back, and closed the door and left her alone with the dead LCLS screen.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
‘She’s not your mother,’ the pale-eyed uncle in the suit tells him.
‘Yes,’ he says, pointing through the chainlink at Marisol. ‘That one.’
‘No.’ The uncle places himself in Carl’s line of sight, leans back against the fence so that it sags, makes a springy, shivery sound as it takes his weight. There’s a careless, hard-buffet wind coming in off the sea, and the uncle pitches his voice to beat it. ‘None of them are mothers, Carl. They just work here, looking after you. They’re just aunts.’
Carl looks up at him angrily. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘I know you don’t,’ the uncle says, and there seems to be something in his face, as if he’s not feeling very well. ‘But you will. This is a big day for you, Carl. Climbing that mountain was just the start of it.’
‘Have we got to go up there again?’ He tries to ask the question casually, but there’s a tremor in his voice. The mountain was scary in a way none of the uncles’ games so far have been. It wasn’t just that there were parts where you could easily fall and kill yourself, and that this time they had no ropes; it was the feeling he had that the uncles were watching him closely when it came to those parts, and that they weren’t watching to see if he was okay, that they didn’t really care if he was okay, they only wanted to know if he was scared or not. And that was even more scary because he didn’t know whether he should be scared or not, didn’t know if they’d want him to be scared or not (though he didn’t think that was likely). And besides, now it’s getting late and while Carl’s pretty confident he can do the climb again, he doesn’t think he could do it in the dark.
The uncle forces a smile. ‘No. Not today. But there are some other things we have to do. So you’ve got to come back inside with the others now.’
On the other side of the chainlink and the multiple razorwire coils beyond, Marisol has moved across the helicopter landing apron so he can see her past the uncle’s obstructing bulk. She’s staring at him, but she doesn’t raise her hand or call out. She stood and kissed him that morning, he recalls, before the uncles came to collect him, held his head between her hands and looked into his face intently, the way she sometimes did when he’d got cuts and scrapes from fighting. Then, hurriedly, she let him go and turned away. She made a soft sound in her throat, reached up and fiddled with the way she’d fixed her hair, as if was coming loose, and then of course it was coming loose because she’d fiddled with it and now she really did have to fix it again the way she always ...
He recognised the signals. But he just couldn’t see how he’d made her cry this time. He hadn’t been in a fight with any of the other kids for at least a week. He hadn’t mouthed off to an uncle for even longer. His room was tidy, his schoolwork was gold-starred in everything except maths and blade weapons, and both Uncle David and Mr Sessions said he was improving even in those. He’d helped in the kitchen most evenings that week, and when he burnt himself on the edge of a pan the day before, he’d shrugged it off with one of the control techniques they were working through in Aunt Chitra’s pain management class, and he could see in Marisol’s eyes how proud she was of that.
So why?
He racked his brains on the way out to the mountain, but couldn’t find an answer. Marisol didn’t cry often, and she didn’t cry without reason at all, except that once, he would have been about five or six, when he came home from school with a raft of questions about money, how did some people end up with more than others, did uncles get more than aunts, did you have to have it, and would you ever do something you really, really didn’t like to get some. That time she cried out of nowhere, suddenly, still talking to him at first as the tears rushed up out of her, before she could turn away and hide them.
He knows, knew then as well, that the other mothers cried like this sometimes, for reasons no one could work out, and of course Rod Gordon’s mother had to go away in the end because she kept doing it. But he’d always been vaguely sure that Marisol wasn’t like that, that she was different, the same way he was absently proud of how dark her skin was, how her teeth glowed white in her face when she smiled, the way she sang in Spanish about the house. Marisol is something special, he knows. Discovers it, in fact, for the first time now, wisps of knowledge, taken for granted, taken on trust, coalescing suddenly into a solid chunk of understanding that sits in his chest like damage. She jumps into sudden focus in his mind. He sees her across the chainlink and razor wire, as if for the first time.
She raises her hand, slowly, as if she’s in a class and not sure whether she really knows the answer or not. Waves to him.
‘I want to talk to her,’ he says to the uncle.
‘I’m afraid you can’t, Carl.’
‘I want to.’
The uncle straightens up off the fence, frowning. The chainlink rebounds with another metallic shiver. ‘You already know not to talk like that. Your wishes are very small things in this world, Carl. You are valuable because of what you can do, not because of what you want.’
‘Where are you taking her ?’
‘She’s going away.’ The uncle stands over him. ‘They all are. She’s done her job now, so she’s going home.’
It’s what he already knew, somehow, but still the words are like the slap of the wind in his face, buffeting, robbing him of breath. He feels the strength in his legs drain out, his stance shift fractionally on the worn concrete beneath his feet. He wants to fall down, or at least sit down somewhere, but knows better than to show it. He stares out across the huddled structures of the Osprey Eighteen settlement, the cottages in tidy rows, the school house and refectory, lights just starting to come on here and there as the afternoon tips towards evening. The bleak undulations of coastal moorland under a darkening pewter sky, the distant rise of mountains worn smooth and low with age. The cold Atlantic behind it all to the north.
‘This is her home,’ he tries to convince himself.
‘Not any more.’
Carl looks suddenly up into the man’s face. At eleven, he’s already tall for his age, the uncle barely tops him by a half a head.
‘If you take her, I’m going to kill you,’ he says, this time with conviction as deep as all his sudden knowledge about Marisol.
The uncle punches him flat.
It’s a short, swift blow, into the face - later he’ll find it’s split the skin across his cheekbone - and the surprise alone puts him on the ground. But when he bounces to his feet, the way he’s been taught, comes back with his rage fully unleashed, the uncle blocks him and hits him again, right fist deep in under the base of his ribs so he can’t breathe. He staggers back and the uncle follows, chops left-handed into the side of his neck with a callused palm edge and puts him down a second time.
He hits the ground, whooping for air he can’t find. He’s fallen facing away from the helicopter apron and Marisol. His body hinges convulsively on the asphalt, trying to turn over, trying to breathe. But the uncle knows his pressure points and has found them with effortless accuracy. Carl can barely twitch, let alone move. Behind him, he thinks Marisol must be rushing towards him, but there’s the razorwire, the chainlink, the other aunts and uncles . . .
The uncle crouches down in his field of vision and scrutinises the damage he’s done. He seems satisfied.
‘You don’t talk to any of us like that, ever again,’ he says calmly. ‘First of all because everything you have ever had, including the woman you think is your mother, was provided by us. You just remember that, Carl, and you show a little gratitude, a little respect. Everything you are, everything you’ve become and everything you will become, you owe to us. That’s the first reason. The second reason is that if you ev
er do speak to one of us like that again, I personally will see to it that you get a punishment beating that’ll make what we had to do to Rod Gordon look like a game of knuckles. Do you understand that?’
Carl just glares back at him through brimming eyes. The uncle sees it, sighs and gets back to his feet.
‘In time,’ he says from what seems like a great height, ‘you will understand. ’
And in the distance, the waxing, hurrying chunter of the helicopter transport, coming in across the autumn sky like a harvester scything down summer’s crop.
He drifted awake in a bed he didn’t know, among sheets that emanated the scent of a woman. A faint grin touched his mouth, something to offset the bitter aftertaste of the Osprey memories.
‘Bad dream?’ Rovayo asked him, from across the room.
She sat a couple of metres off in a deep sofa under the window, curled up and naked apart from a pair of white briefs, reading from a projected display headset. Streetlight from outside lifting a soft sheen from the ebony curves of her body, the line of one raised thigh, the dome of a knee. Recollection slammed into him like a truck - the same body twined around him as he knelt upright on the bed and held her buttocks in his hands like fruit and she lifted herself up and down on his erection and made, again and again, a long, deep noise in her throat, like someone tasting food cooked to perfection.
He sat up. Blinked and stared at the darkness outside the window. Sense of dislocation - it felt wrong.
‘How long was I out?’
‘Not long. An hour, maybe.’ She tipped off the headset, laid it aside on the back of the sofa, still powered up. Tiny panels of blue light glowed in the eye frames, like the sober gaze of a robot chaperone. She shook back her hair and grinned at him. ‘I figured you earned the downtime.’
‘Fucking jet-lag.’ He remembered vaguely, the last thing, long after her hands and mouth could no longer get him to rise to the occasion, lying with his head pillowed on her thigh, breathing in the odour of her cunt as if it were the sea. ‘My time sense is shot to pieces. So, looked like I was having a bad dream, huh?’
‘Looked like you were wrestling Haystack Harrison for the California title, if you really want to know. You were thrashing about all over the place.’ She yawned, stretched and stood up. ‘Would have woken you up myself, but they say it’s better to let something like that play out, let the trigger images discharge fully or something. You don’t remember what you were dreaming?’
He shook his head and lied. ‘Not this time.’
‘Well then maybe you were dreaming about me.’ She put her hands on her hips. Another grin. ‘Going a fifth round, you know.’
He matched the grin. ‘Don’t know, I think I’m pretty fully beaten into submission right now.’
‘Yeah, I guess you are,’ she said reflectively. ‘You certainly seemed like a guy knew what he wanted.’
He couldn’t argue with that - self-ejected from the screening room, tight with anger at Ertekin, he’d stood in the centre of the operations space and when he spotted Rovayo propped on the edge of her desk and watching him, he drifted towards her like a needle tugging north.
‘Problems?’ she asked neutrally.
‘You could say that.’
She nodded. Leaned back across her desk space to the data-system and punched in a quit code. Looked back at him, dark eyes querying.
‘Want to get a drink?’
‘That’s exactly what I want,’ he said grimly.
They left, rode an elevator stack up through the levels of the Alcatraz station until they could see sky and water through the windows. It felt like pressure easing. On the upper balconies, Rovayo led him to a franchise outfit called Lima Alpha that had chairs and tables with views across the bay. She got heavily loaded Pisco sours for them both, handed him his and sank into the chair opposite with a fixed, speculative gaze. He sipped the cocktail, had to admit it was pretty good. His anger started to ebb. They talked about nothing much, drank, soaked in the late afternoon sunlight. Slipped at some point from Amanglic into Spanish. Their postures eased, sank lower in their chairs. Neither of them made an obvious move.
Finally, Rovayo’s phone wittered for attention. She grimaced, hauled it out and held it to her ear, audio only.
‘Yeah, what?’ She listened, grimaced again. ‘On my way home, why?’
A male voice rinsed tinnily out of the phone, distant and indistinct.
‘Roy, I haven’t been home in thirty, no wait,’ she checked her watch, ‘thirty-five hours. I haven’t slept in twelve, and that was ninety minutes on the couch in operations . . .’
Crackled dispute. Rovayo glowered.
‘ ... No, it fucking wasn’t . . .’
Coyle crackled some more. She cut him off.
‘Look, don’t try to tell me how much sleep I’ve had, Roy. You don’t . . .’
Spit, spit, crack.
‘Yeah, you’re right, we are all tired, and when you’re this fucking tired, Roy, you know what you do? You get some sleep. I’m not going to pull another macho all-nighter just so you can play at old-school cop with Tsai. Outside of all those pre-mil period flicks you love so much, nobody cracks a case like that. You guys want to act like the New Math never fucking happened, be my guest. I’m going home.’
A more muted crackling. Rovayo glanced across at Carl and raised an eyebrow.
‘No,’ she said flatly. ‘Haven’t seen him. Doesn’t he have a phone? No? Well, try his hotel, maybe. See you in the morning.’
She killed the call.
‘People are looking for you,’ she said.
‘Oh.’
‘Yeah. You want to be found?’
‘Not particularly.’
‘What I thought.’ She drained what was left in her glass, and gave him the speculative look again. ‘Well, I’d say your hotel is a bust right now. Want another drink at my place?’
He gave her back the look. ‘Is that a trick question?’
Alcatraz station ran smart chopper shuttles for its staff, twenty-four-seven to both sides of the bay. The Oakland service dropped off at a couple of points within easy walk of Rovayo’s apartment. They walked, easily, Pisco sours and the shared sense of truancy, laughing in the early evening air. She asked him how come he spoke Spanish, he told her a little about Marisol, a little more about Mars and the Upland projects. As before, she seemed hungry for the detail. They touched, far more than her Hispanic background could write off as a cultural norm. Signals coming through clear and tight. They got up the stairs and in the door of her second-floor apartment a couple of grins short of the clinch.
The door swung shut behind them with a solid snap and the burble of electronic security engaging.
Their restraint shattered in hungry pieces on the floor.
‘So what do you want to do now?’
Still standing in front of him, hip shot, wide grin. Despite everything, he felt his sore and shrunken prick twitch at the sight.
‘I thought you were tired.’
She shrugged. ‘So did I. Cyclical, I guess. Give me another couple of hours, I probably will be again.’
‘You’re not Xtrasomeing on me, are you?’
‘No, I’m not fucking Xtrasomeing on you.’ Suddenly there was a real edge in her voice. ‘Do I look like I come from that kind of money? You think if my parents had the finance for built-in, I’d be working for RimSec?’
He blinked. Held up his hands, palms out. ‘Okay, okay. It was just a thought. Rim States have got a reputation for that stuff, you know.’
She wasn’t listening. She gestured at herself with one splayed hand, motion robbed of any sensuality by the look on her face. ‘What I’ve got, I was either born with or I fucking worked to build. I came up through the ranks, it’s taken me eight years to make detective, and I didn’t take any fucking genetic shortcuts along the way. I didn’t have-’
‘I said okay, detective.’
It stopped her. She sank back onto the sofa, sat hunched at the edge with h
er arms resting on her thighs, hands dangling into the space between. She lifted her head to look at him, and there was something hunted in her expression.
‘Sorry,’ she muttered. ‘We’re all just a little fucking tired of the Asia Badawis and the Meredith Changs around here.’
‘Badawi’s New York Sudanese,’ he pointed out.
‘Yeah? You want to see the house she’s got down the coast. Lot of fucking acreage for a foreigner. Anyway, that’s not what I meant.’
‘No?’ Suddenly, the post-coital intimacy was too tight, like binding on his limbs and a masking film across his face. Rovayo was abruptly the stranger she’d always been, but naked and in too close. He felt an unlooked-for visceral surge of nostalgia for sex with Sevgi Ertekin. ‘So you’re not a big fan of Enhancement generally, then?’
She snorted. ‘You think anyone’s a big fan of Xtrasomes that doesn’t have them?’
‘I am.’ But he knew at base he was trying to provoke her. ‘You think I’d be in this fucking mess if they’d had working artificial chromosome technology for humans forty years back? You think we’d be running around looking for some superannuated supersoldier turned cannibal fucking survivalist, if thirteen tendency could be platform-loaded and switched on and off at need? Take a good look at me, Rovayo. I’m the walking fucking embodiment of last century’s pre-Xtrasome jump-the-gun genetics.’
‘I know.’
‘I seriously doubt that.’ Carl lifted fingertips to his face, brushed at his cheekbones. ‘You see this? When you’re a variant, people don’t look at this. They go right through the skin, and all they see is what’s written into your double helix.’
The Rim cop shrugged. ‘Perhaps you’d prefer them to stop at the skin. What I hear about the old days, we’re both the wrong colour for that to be a better option. Would you really prefer it the way things were? A dose of good old-fashioned skin hate?’
The Complete SF Collection Page 245