by Cora Brent
He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. The end of our marriage wasn’t her fault.”
“It makes no difference now,” I said uneasily, thinking about how Jennifer had cheated on him and shattered their family. William was just so heartsick he was taking responsibility for everything.
“I let her go,” he said, narrowing his eyes at the horizon. “Worse than that, I pushed her away. I was so hell-bent on becoming the greatest legal superstar the Gordon name had ever known that I neglected the most important thing in my life. I forgot birthdays, ignored anniversaries. Jen tried. She tried for years. Hell, I think she had that damn affair as a last-ditch effort to get my attention. But even when we were at our worst, we were determined to give the boys a good life. We were learning how to make this new normal work, how to share the responsibility of our sons. In time, I think we would have been friends. I can’t believe she won’t get to see them grow up.”
William had always been like Superman to me. Perfect, invincible, indomitable. Hearing him confess to his failures and his anguish tore me up in a way that nothing else ever had. I didn’t even know what to say. The only thing I could do for him was remain at his side and listen.
“I’m going to step down from the bench,” he said. “I sacrificed far too much to get there. It all feels hollow now.” He looked at me, his handsome face full of torment. “What the hell is the point of grabbing for the fucking brass ring if you wind up letting go of everything that really matters in the process?”
I had no answer. “I don’t know, William. I really don’t.”
My brother let out a snort of laughter that had no humor in it. “I heard someone say once that when a man’s gasping his last breath, the one thing he won’t be thinking is ‘Damn, I wish I’d put in more time at the office.’ I didn’t really appreciate that warning until recently. Now I get it. Of course, now it’s too late.”
I nudged my brother’s arm and pointed toward the beach. Our prim and proper mother had sunk down to her knees in the middle of the beach, laughing with abandon as her two young grandsons tickled her with glee.
“It’s not too late,” I told him. “You have two miraculous reasons to wake up every morning and be the best damn father on the planet. And you’ll do it. I know you will. You’re already their hero. And you’ve always been mine.”
He looked at his boys running around, tiptoeing to the surf and then shrieking when the water chased them back to the sand. For the first time in days a real smile lit up his face.
“Thanks, sis,” he said softly, and stood up.
Leo and Isaac noticed him then and they both came running. William laughed gently as the boys collided with his legs, then he lifted them each in one strong arm and carried them over to where our mother waited with her hands on her hips, her hair all over the place, her expensive clothes a disaster. She didn’t seem bothered, though. She hugged William when he set the boys down, and they all began scouring the shoreline for elusive shells.
I stood and watched them for a few minutes, then drifted closer to where the dry sand had been soaked by the waves when they crept ashore and then receded. I could still see the animal shapes the boys had been drawing with their sticks earlier. They’d even written their names side by side.
I picked up one of the abandoned sticks and carefully scratched some words into the wet sand. I was standing back and admiring them when Leo approached to check out what I was doing.
“Who’s Jason?” he asked, looking down at what I’d written.
“My boyfriend,” I answered with a smile.
“Why did you write that you love him?”
“Because I do.”
My nephew looked doubtful. “I’ve never met him.”
“You will.” I took his hand. “Come on, let’s go see if we can hunt down some more shells before the bee combs find them.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
On our way to the airport on Friday William promised the boys he’d take them back to Oregon soon to see their mother’s family and stay at the beach house.
“Can Grandma come?” asked Isaac.
“Of course.”
“And Auntie Audi?” Leo wanted to know.
My brother glanced at me and smiled. “Auntie Audi is always welcome.”
Leo turned to me. “Are you going to bring Jason?”
William was confused. “You met Jason?”
“No, he hasn’t met Jason,” I explained. “I happened to mention him a few times.”
“Are you going to bring Jason?” my mother wanted to know.
“I suppose that’s up to Jason,” I told her, starting to feel a little restless about getting home. Thanks to a hurricane on the East Coast, flights all over the country were delayed, and we wound up waiting for a connecting flight in the Denver airport for over four hours. When we were finally called to board a flight to Phoenix, I texted Jason to let him know I was on my way and would love to see him tonight. It was close to five o’clock by that time and he was probably busy wrapping up the workday. At least that’s what I told myself when he hadn’t answered by the time the plane took off.
On the flight to Phoenix I wound up wedged between my two nephews. Leo flipped through a comic book. Isaac fell asleep and drooled all over my left arm. I didn’t mind.
As the plane touched down, a tremor of excitement rolled through me. Not so much because I had a deep and abiding love for my hometown but because every nerve in my body was instantly awake with the sense that I was getting closer to Jason.
“Why are you smiling so much?” Leo asked me with a little suspicion.
“I’m just happy to be home,” I said.
Isaac suddenly lurched right out of a sound sleep. “My shells!” he cried. “Where are my shells?”
“In my purse.” I patted it in my lap. I’d bought a new one before we left Lincoln City. My fancy name-brand purse hadn’t contained enough room for Isaac’s pile of seashells that had been carefully wrapped in paper towels and stowed in a plastic shopping bag. He was afraid they’d get crushed or lost, so I offered to take custody of them. My new bag was bright pink, possessed no designer labels, and contained plenty of space for a beloved nephew’s seashell collection.
I was like a little kid squirming around in my seat as the plane seemed to take forever to taxi to the gate and allow us to exit.
“We ought to get the boys some dinner,” my mother said, checking her watch as we traveled down the escalator toward baggage claim. “I’m sure your father sent a car over, but it shouldn’t be a problem to make a stop.”
“Sounds good,” William said, and yawned tiredly. “I wouldn’t mind eating.”
“Audrey?” my mother prodded. “Will you be coming with us?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I said hastily. My stomach could wait. I was already calculating how soon I’d get to see Jason. He might be at home in Chandler unless he needed to work late. The minute I was off this damn endless escalator, I’d call him.
“But thank you for asking,” I added.
My mother seemed surprised. “Of course I asked you. When have I ever not asked?”
I bit my lip to subdue a smile. “You’re right,” I told her. “You do always ask.”
“Why is Grandpa down there?” Leo wanted to know.
“Where?” I followed the boy’s pointing finger and received my first surprise in the form of my father. Rather than sending a hired car to the airport to greet his family, he’d come himself. It was admittedly a small step, very small, but it was something. It was more than I had been willing to give him credit for a moment ago.
The second surprise jolted me much more deeply.
Standing beside my father was Jason Roma.
And what’s more, they appeared to be talking to each other in a way that seemed friendly, at least from a distance. Also standing down there by the luggage carousels, looking happy, if a little confused, was Jason’s father.
“Aaron!” my mother called with a fran
tic wave, and I knew from the broad grin on her face that she was enormously pleased he’d shown up himself.
Jason stopped talking to my father and looked up as we approached the bottom of the escalator. Immediately he broke into the smile that had always cast a powerful spell on me, whether I wanted to admit it or not. In that smile was kindness and passion and friendship and a promise that it was all for me. It was a good thing I was stepping off the escalator, because I was in imminent danger of swooning.
Instead I hopped off the final step and ran to him with my arms out. Unfortunately, in my haste to leap into the arms of my sexy lover, I forgot that I was wearing cheap flip-flops. An instant after the rubber toe of my left shoe caught on the ugly airport-terminal carpet, I rolled my ankle and tumbled forward.
What might have been a lovely romantic moment ended somewhat gracelessly with me sprawled on the floor beside a revolving baggage carousel.
“Audrey!” Jason reached me first, hovering with worry written all over his face.
I touched his bristly cheek. “Your beard is back.”
He grinned. “There’s this girl I like, and she decided she has a thing for beards.”
“Lucky girl,” I said, and then winced as I let Jason help me up to a sitting position.
“Would it be unrealistic to assume that no one saw my airport swan dive?”
He considered. “A little. I saw a few cell phones out, so I’m pretty sure you’ll find it on YouTube within an hour if you want to revisit the event.”
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. When I looked back up, my entire family had gathered and were staring at me.
“Are you hurt?” my mother asked.
“You fell so hard!” Isaac exclaimed. He smacked one palm into the other for emphasis. “Just like that.”
“I almost tripped on this damn carpet myself earlier,” my father declared, and glowered at a passing pilot as if he must be responsible for the floor that had so carelessly injured his daughter.
“You’re very beautiful,” announced Jason’s father.
“I think you might have sprained your ankle,” William said sympathetically.
“Who’s he?” Leo asked, pointing to Jason. “Is this your boyfriend, Auntie Audi?”
Everyone looked at Jason.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “What do you say, Auntie Audi? Am I still your boyfriend?”
“If you help me up off the floor, the job remains yours.”
Jason responded by lifting me into his arms as if I weighed no more than a bed pillow. I curled my arms around his neck and relished every second, even if my ankle was throbbing like a son of a bitch.
Jason had already met William and my parents, but there were two very curious, very important people who were staring up at him with some awe as he effortlessly carried their aunt in his arms. Fortunately, an airport employee appeared with a wheelchair, and Jason set me down carefully.
I beckoned to my two nephews and put a hand on each of their thin shoulders as I introduced them. “Jason, this is Leo and Isaac, otherwise known as the best nephews ever. Boys, this is Jason.”
“He’s strong,” Leo observed shrewdly. “That must be why you love him.”
Jason gave no sign that he heard my precocious nephew. He hunkered down to the boys’ level. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you guys.”
“Do you like baseball?” Isaac asked.
“I like baseball,” Jason assured him.
“Our mom liked baseball,” Leo said in a small voice. “She used to take us to Diamondbacks games all the time.”
Jason put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “She sounds like she was a great mom,” he said, his voice quivering just a little.
Leo nodded as if in thought. “She was.”
Some movement caught my attention, and I looked up in time to glimpse the astonishing sight of my father embracing my brother in the middle of the bustling airport terminal. For all my father’s devotion to his son, he’d never been an openly loving man, and I couldn’t recall a time when I’d ever seen them hug.
My father patted William on the shoulder after he released him. My brother looked as if the grief had caught up to him again. Maybe it was being back home or hearing Leo mention his mother. That’s probably how things would be for him and the boys, at least for a while. Life would go on as life does, but at certain times, the dreadful loss of Jennifer would hit them fresh and raw. In time the sharp pain would fade to a dull ache, but it would always be there.
“Are we still getting ice cream?” Chris Roma wanted to know.
“Yeah, Dad, we’ll get ice cream soon,” Jason assured him.
“You’re getting ice cream?” Isaac said a little enviously.
Chris beamed. “Yes.”
William wiped a tear from his eye and smiled down at his little boy. “I’ll get you some ice cream after dinner. In the meantime, I believe that’s our luggage making the rounds on Carousel Four.”
Once we had all our bags and headed out to the parking garage, it was time to part ways, William and the boys going with my parents. Both my father and William shook hands with Jason, and my mother actually gave him a hug.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I promised my brother after I kissed the boys goodbye and relinquished Isaac’s bag of shells. I wanted William to remember that he wasn’t facing life alone, that I would be there for him and for Leo and for Isaac. We were family and that wasn’t replaceable.
William looked at me gratefully. “Thanks again. Thanks for everything.”
My mother wanted to fuss over my stupid ankle, but I assured her I would survive and asked if we could perhaps never again discuss Audrey’s Airport Adventure.
“Fine. But put some ice on it,” she ordered before bending down and kissing me on the cheek.
My father seemed uncertain as he approached me. We hadn’t really spoken since our disastrous last encounter in his study.
“Went to a meeting this week,” he said in a low voice, glancing over to where my mother was peppering Jason with instructions on how to care for my grievous injury.
“A meeting?” I asked, puzzled as to why my father would be discussing his business with me out of the blue.
He nodded and coughed once. “Four days sober.”
I couldn’t have been more astonished if he told me he’d started taking tap dancing lessons. “Must have been a good meeting,” I said.
“It was. Maybe we could go together sometime,” he said, and I saw in his eyes the apology that he couldn’t quite express in words.
“That would be nice, Dad,” I said, and reached out to squeeze his hand. I hadn’t been to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in years, but remembering the way I’d stared at that hotel liquor cabinet still made me break out into a sweat. Perhaps talking about it among people who understood would do me some good. There was nothing wrong with accepting a little help. Even my father had arrived at that understanding.
When my parents left with William and the boys, Jason’s dad attempted to follow them as well, but Jason caught him and steered him back to the car.
Jason settled his father in the backseat as he returned the wheelchair.
“How are you, Chris?” I asked, swiveling around from the passenger seat to see him.
“Are we friends?” he asked me curiously.
“Of course we are,” I answered, and he smiled.
“We’re out of here,” Jason said as soon as he was back in the car.
I touched his arm. His shirtsleeve had been rolled above the elbow, and I let my fingers travel over his skin. “I can’t believe you came here without telling me.”
“I know,” he responded. “You were so stunned you literally fell all over yourself.”
I groaned. “I’m not going to live that down.”
“Nope.”
“But I didn’t tell you what flight I was on. Pretty sure I didn’t even mention the name of the airline.”
“You didn’t. I had to call your da
d to squeeze that information out of him.”
“The two of you looked pretty friendly, chatting down there in baggage claim.”
Jason nodded. “It’s possible I managed to win him over.”
My fingertips explored the smooth, solid muscles along his forearm. “I’m well aware that you can be fairly charming, Mr. Roma. When you’re not being vulgar.”
“I believe you appreciate vulgarity as much as you appreciate charm, Audrey.”
I smiled. “You might be right.”
Jason’s hand landed on my thigh. “You haven’t asked me a thing about work yet.”
“That’s right, I haven’t.”
“Can’t believe you’re not dying to know every detail about what’s happened at the courthouse this week.”
I moved my hand over his. “And I can’t believe you haven’t kissed me yet.”
Jason turned back to his father. “Hey, Dad, cover your eyes for a second.”
Christian Roma obediently placed his palm over his face.
Jason moved his seat back and patted his lap. “Come here.”
It was a chore trying to crawl across the front seat to him, but he scooped me up with tenderness and helped me the rest of the way. The instant I was in his lap, I never wanted to be anywhere else.
Jason’s breathing quickened as his hand went to the back of my neck, pulling me in for a searing, deep kiss that took my breath away and might have led to more erotic activities if Jason’s father hadn’t complained from the backseat that he was tired of holding his hand over his face.
Jason broke away from my mouth and kissed my neck, his hot breath close to my ear.
“Is this a better greeting?” he asked.
I tightened my arms around him. “Much better.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I was sitting on Jason’s couch idly flipping channels with a bowl of popcorn in my hands and a frozen bag of sweet corn on my ankle when he returned from dropping off his father at the nursing home. Jason had asked Chris to stay overnight in the guest bedroom, but the man started growing agitated shortly after we arrived at Jason’s house following dinner and began demanding to go home. Jason told me that had been happening more and more lately.