by Coleen Kwan
Sighing, he returned to the mess on the floor.
“Why didn’t you call, you dope?” Caleb slapped Derek’s shoulder. He jerked a thumb at Derek’s car standing on Otto’s driveway. “If I hadn’t seen your Range Rover, I wouldn’t have known you were in town.”
“Sorry about that,” Derek said. “I was going to call.” Only, he felt highly uncomfortable about talking to his friend when Caleb didn’t have a clue about Hannah’s condition.
“Whatcha doing?” Caleb had surprised Derek in Otto’s garage. He glanced at the piece of wood in Derek’s hands. “Building something there?”
Derek smoothed his palm over the length of English oak he’d found in his granddad’s garage. It was one of Derek’s leftovers, and he’d always liked the texture and smell of this particular wood. He’d been thinking of a crib when Caleb had interrupted him. A crib for a sweet-cheeked baby.
“No. Just tidying up.” He placed the timber on the workbench. Ever since Hannah’s pregnancy had been confirmed, he’d been veering between panic and wonder. Mostly panic, but there were moments of wonder, like when he imagined crafting the crib with his own hands and presenting it to Hannah.
He looked at his oldest friend, and the urge to blurt out the truth was so strong, but he’d promised Hannah he wouldn’t say anything without her permission.
“Come over to my folks’ place for dinner tonight,” Caleb said. “Hannah’s coming. She’d be glad to see you.”
I seriously doubt that. The idea of sitting through a Willmett dinner and pretending nothing had happened was torture.
“Sorry, I can’t tonight.”
Caleb frowned. “Well, when are we going to catch up? Are you rushing back to L.A. soon?”
“Uh, yeah.” He only had a week off, but the longer he stayed, the more he didn’t want to leave.
“I saw you and Marla Beaudry on ScoopNews again.”
Derek couldn’t help scowling. “It’s not what you think.”
An awkward pause developed. Caleb scratched his knuckles. “I’m not judging you, man.”
But he would as soon as he learned that Hannah was pregnant and Derek was the father. Hell, why had he even tried to help Marla? If he’d refused, he wouldn’t have made the headlines, and Caleb wouldn’t be assuming he was just the same old player he used to be.
“I’d better get going.” Caleb backed away.
Derek was conscious of a slight coolness between them, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
“I’ll call you,” he said.
But when he did call, would Caleb be willing to listen?
Chapter Fifteen
An acrid taste soured the back of Hannah’s mouth. Her hands were balled into fists on the tablecloth, her legs wound tight around the chair legs for support. She’d delivered her news near the end of dinner, and now a shocked silence had descended on the table while three pairs of eyes gazed at her with three different expressions. From her father, disbelief. From Rosalind, dismay. And from Caleb, anger that pulsed like a star about to explode.
“Who is it?” Caleb ground out between clenched teeth.
“I prefer not to say.” Hannah gripped the edge of her chair.
“What?” He smacked the tablecloth. “You’re not going to tell us who’s responsible for knocking you up?”
“Caleb!” Frank barked out. “Keep your tongue civil.”
Caleb shook his head wildly. “Sorry, Dad, but this is too much.” He sucked in a few deep breaths, looking like he was about to hyperventilate.
“I guess this explains that condom Rosalind found in the couch.” Frank turned disappointed eyes toward Hannah, making her cringe inwardly. To her dad she’d always been the good girl who never put a foot wrong, but now that she’d fallen so far from the pedestal, she realized how much being her father’s golden daughter had meant to her. “Maybe if you’d used it, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“I’m not that irresponsible. I did use protection, but clearly it wasn’t 100 percent foolproof.” Hurt and embarrassment flushed her cheeks. “I know I’ve shocked you all, and believe me, this is hardly the way I’d choose to bring a child into this world. But I can’t change the facts. I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby, and I’m going to be a single mom. That’s—that’s all there is to it.”
“But that’s not all.” A deep frown weighed on Frank’s brow as he pressed his hands on the table. “Why won’t you tell us who he is?”
“I-I will tell you later.” She didn’t have the courage to tell them it was Derek. Not yet. One shock at a time was more than enough.
“Does he know about the baby?”
“Yes.”
“Then why isn’t he stepping up to the plate and marrying you? Doesn’t he want to provide for you? Give this baby a name?”
Heavens, she’d never realized how old-fashioned her dad could be. Or maybe it was just his way of showing he cared. Either way, his attitude didn’t make her feel any better. It reduced her, robbed her of her self-determination.
She pushed up her chin and cast a challenging look at her father and brother. “He did offer to marry me, but I refused.”
“Why?” Frank thrust his jaw back at her. “Why won’t you marry him?”
Hannah began to feel cornered. “I’ve just been divorced. I don’t want to rush into anything without thinking.”
Her father’s voice rose. “Well, you sure rushed into something without thinking.”
“Frank,” came Rosalind’s quiet reprimand before she turned to Hannah. “It’s going to be okay, honey. You’ll just have to move in here with us.”
The pity in her stepmom’s eyes made Hannah’s stomach contort even more painfully. “It’s kind of you to offer, but I think it’s better if I stay on my own.”
“But you can’t manage on your own, and we have plenty of space here. It’s the parents’ duty to care for their children even when they slip up. What will people think if we don’t take you in?”
So now she was a daughter in disgrace, and Rosalind was worried about being judged as a parent. Anger shook through Hannah, lending her enough strength to push from the table and stand on her own two feet.
“I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you all. I’ll leave now so you can talk about me more freely.” She turned to go.
“But Hannah—” Rosalind called after her, but Frank must have hushed her because she didn’t say anything more.
Hannah left the house. As she shut the front door and stood on the porch, a new bleakness overwhelmed her. This house had always been a sanctuary to her, but now it felt like she’d been ostracized, that she wasn’t welcome here anymore.
She drove off, operating the car on autopilot. A lump had lodged in her throat and tears stung the back of her eyes. Stop the pity party, she told herself, but the feeling of abandonment only intensified. This must be how Derek used to feel when his grandfather’s meanness drove him out of the house. She could truly empathize now; it was horrible to feel so bereft.
When she got home, the cottage felt silent and lonely. She prowled around in circles, too upset to sit. If only she had someone to talk to, but she hadn’t told Amber or Nicole about the pregnancy yet and she didn’t feel up to dealing with their questions. There was only one person she wanted to talk to.
She dialed Derek’s number before she had a chance to think twice, and he picked up after the first ring.
“Hannah?” He sounded surprised.
“Um, hi.” She sucked in a breath.
“You sound upset. What’s wrong?”
“I told my family tonight about the baby. B-but not about you.” She realized her voice was shaking.
There was a pause. “Are you at home?”
“Y-yes, but—”
“I’ll be right over.”
He hung up. She thought about calling him back and telling him it wasn’t necessary, but she didn’t. She was alone, and she needed him.
Ten minutes later, a car swung into her d
riveway. She opened the door as Derek bounded up the front porch. His eyes were wide, and his face was paler than usual. Remorse washed over her. She shouldn’t have caused him so much worry.
“I shouldn’t have called you,” she said.
He moved into the hallway and shut the door behind him. His arms twitched as if he didn’t know what to do with them.
“Of course you should have called me. So. You told your family. I’m guessing the news didn’t go down too well with them?”
“No,” she choked out.
After a moment’s hesitation, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. His embrace was gentle, hesitant, even, as if he was afraid of hurting her, but the warmth of his body enveloped her like a comforting blanket.
“I’m sorry.” His breath stirred the top of her hair as he tucked her under his chin. His broad hands were splayed across her back, warming her through the thin cotton of her dress.
She closed her eyes, relinquishing herself into his strength. Until recently, she hadn’t realized how exhausting it was to be the strong, dependable one all the time. She’d been doing it for years, first with her family, and then with Rick. But tonight, just for this moment, she didn’t need to be the supportive one. She could lean on Derek for a while, and he wouldn’t let her down, not tonight.
“They’re all angry or disappointed with me, and each of them wants me to do things I don’t want to do.” With a sigh, she allowed herself to melt further into Derek’s embrace.
“Once they get over the shock, they’ll come around.”
“I hope so. I’m not used to being the bad egg of the family.”
“I am. You should have told them I’m responsible.”
“Oh no. That would’ve made things worse.”
“I hate that they ganged up on you.” His grip firmed on her, and his voice deepened. “And sooner or later they’ll have to know about me. I’ll talk to them, first chance I get.”
“No, not yet,” she said quickly. She tipped back her head to look at him to emphasize her point. “Give them time to digest the news before we hit them with another whammy.”
He gazed down at her for a long time, and awareness of him prickled through her. She shouldn’t have called him, shouldn’t have let him embrace her, but when she tried half-heartedly to draw away, his arms tightened around her.
“Don’t,” he murmured. “Don’t pull away. This is nice.”
“But I shouldn’t,” she whispered weakly.
“You’ve just had the family dinner from hell. I think you’re allowed.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, so she remained silent and basked in the sensations of being held by Derek. The night was quiet and peaceful, with only the chirping of insects outside. His arms around her were firm and solid, making her feel protected from anything the world could throw at her.
“Want to watch some TV or something?” he asked after a while.
“Yeah, sure.”
She turned on the TV, and they settled on the couch. He draped an arm around her shoulder, and she didn’t think twice about snuggling into him. Tonight she needed someone to hold her tight. An eighties rom-com was showing on the screen, but she didn’t pay it much attention. She was too busy soaking in Derek’s embrace. It felt so right sitting here in his arms, not talking, just leaning into each other.
After a while, Derek turned to her and smoothed her hair away from her eyes.
“Hey, I’ve got a question for you,” he murmured. “What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with implants?”
“I don’t know. What?”
“One’s a crusty bus station and the other’s a busty crustacean.”
She gasped out a laugh. “Oh, that’s so lame, Derek.”
“You’re welcome.” His hand rotated slowly over her shoulder.
Was it so wrong to lean on him for a little while? It wasn’t like she was depending on him for anything more. It was just a respite.
The trouble was, the warmth stealing through her body wasn’t just comfort, but desire, too. Derek’s denim-clad thigh was pressed up against her bare leg. And her face was tucked into his chest, which meant every breath she took was infused with Derek’s unique scent, an aura that made his masculinity impossible to ignore. Longing shivered down her spine, melted her resistance, and she was sure he could sense it.
His fingers slipped over the curve of her cheek to tilt her head up. The blue flame in his eyes stole her breath, set her heart racing.
“I know something else that’ll make you feel better.”
She gulped. “A-another joke?”
“No. This.”
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. The touch of his lips struck a match to the simmering fuse of her longing, and she could feel the sparks lighting up as he moved his mouth gently over hers. The kiss was slow and sweet and so, so seductive. After the acrimony from her family, this was exactly what she needed, a honeyed balm to take away the bitterness.
Vaguely, at the back of her mind, a voice tried to warn her of the danger she was heading into, but the sweetness of Derek’s lips drowned out that voice. Problems and worries disappeared. She was just a woman kissing a man on a summer night, and nothing else mattered.
She shifted closer, eager for more of him, curling her fingers into his T-shirt. She parted her lips and heard a faint moan from him before his kiss deepened and his tongue curled over hers. The taste of him drove her on. His lips and fingers roamed compulsively over her face and neck, slightly frenetic, as if he feared she’d pull away at any moment.
Then one hand drifted lower over her body, coming to rest at her waist, and Derek went still, his breathing unsteady.
“May I?”
For a second she didn’t know what he was asking permission for, but then she realized and nodded. “There’s not much to show yet.”
He spread his hand over her belly. At first his touch was tentative, but then he relaxed and rotated his palm slowly and gently over her.
“It’s…amazing.”
The catch in his voice made her gulp, too, as the sight of Derek cradling her pregnant belly choked her up. Wonder shone in his eyes. Her heart tumbled over at this rare and special moment.
Then he leaned over to kiss her again, and her hunger returned tenfold. As his mouth teased hers, his hands roamed over the front of her dress, and his moans of pleasure told her how urgent his need was growing.
He broke off the kiss to pant out, “Let’s move to the bedroom.” His face glowed with lust, mirroring the desire coursing through her veins, thick and dark as molasses.
She nodded without hesitation, her anguish forgotten. Tonight their passion felt different, suffused with poignancy and tenderness. She needed this escape from life’s harsh reality. Ardent affection softened Derek’s face as he scooped her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom.
The following morning, Derek was woken by the sounds of Hannah puking in the bathroom. He rushed in to see if he could help, but she scowled at him through her hair and told him to go away, so he did.
At least he could make himself useful in the kitchen. He pulled on his jeans but left his shirt off, since the day was already hot. There was only enough ginger tea for one glass, so he poured it out and set about making a fresh batch. The tea was steeping in a saucepan when Hannah joined him, her hair falling untidily over her bathrobe.
He handed her the glass of cold ginger tea. “I’ve made some more for later,” he said, tilting his chin toward the saucepan.
Hannah lifted her eyebrows. “You know how to make ginger tea?”
“It’s not hard. I looked it up on the internet. Want a cracker, too?”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners. “You’re becoming quite a pro at morning sickness.”
He loved that smile of hers. It made him feel ten feet tall. “I’m a pro at a lot of things.” He winked at her.
Her smile slipped a little. “Um, about last night…”
&nb
sp; Inwardly he winced. But he was determined not to get too worked up. “You don’t have to say anything. I know. Last night was a one-off, etcetera, etcetera.”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes growing misty. “I’m not saying it wasn’t wonderful…”
Yeah, it had been all kinds of wonderful. Last night she’d turned to him for comfort, and he had made her feel happy again. That had been incredible, and maybe he could do it again. Maybe he could be the rock she could depend on. Again, the vision of the crib fired his imagination. The design was clear in his head. He could already picture it in that big family home just a few blocks away. The image warmed him. Maybe he could tell Hannah about the house, maybe even take her to see it…
Hannah set the glass down with a groan and clutched at her stomach. “Ugh, I think I need to…” She rushed off to the bathroom again.
He poured the fresh ginger tea into a jug and stored it in the refrigerator. He could handle morning sickness, no problem. But maybe he should hold off telling Hannah about the house and the crib because what if he wasn’t up to all this parenting stuff? He didn’t want to raise people’s hopes only to hurt and disappoint them.
The doorbell rang, and he ambled through to answer it.
Caleb stood on the threshold.
Blank astonishment robbed Derek of speech.
Caleb frowned at him. “Thought I recognized your car outside, but what’re you doing here so early?”
“Uh…”
“Did something happen to Hannah?” Caleb shouldered past him. “Hannah! Where the hell are you?”
Hannah appeared at the other end of the tiny hallway. The next few moments felt like a slow-mo scene from a horror movie. Derek saw Caleb taking in Hannah’s messy hair and loose bathrobe. Caleb turned to Derek. His gaze registered his bare chest, bare feet, jeans unbuttoned.
A shirtless guy, a girl in a bathrobe, anyone could do the math.
Chapter Sixteen
“What the fuck, man? Are you sleeping with my sister?”
Derek met Caleb’s furious gaze head-on. “Yes.”