by T. S. Ryder
Cynthia shivered. That was certainly one way to put it.
“Anyway,” Rex continued, “when we are in our bear forms, we’re in full control, just as we are in our human forms. There are… certain things that are different between us and humans, I suppose. We have very strong instincts. For instance, mine was telling me to go out to the Jarvis farm before I even knew… what happened.”
“Right...”
Rex peered at her for a long moment before he sighed. “Look. I’m not going to lie. I want you to stay, Cynthia. I want you to stay on the island and adjust to, you know, everything. But if you want to leave, I will take you to the mainland.”
Her head jerked up and her eyes widened. “You will?”
“Yes. But...” He took her hand. “Please stay.”
Because he thought he loved her? She searched his eyes, looking for any sort of indication of his state of mind. Was he doing this to win her affection? But when she looked into his eyes, he seemed to be completely genuine. She released a shaky breath as her shoulders slumped.
“Why?”
He glanced away, his cheeks coloring. “Why?”
“Why do you want me to stay?”
He took a deep breath. “I told you that I love you.”
“And I told you that you can’t love me because you don’t know me.”
Rex fidgeted, picking at a lose thread in his jeans. “I didn’t really understand what you meant when you said that.”
“I meant that you don’t know me. You can’t love someone who you don’t know, Rex. It’s just not possible.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No.”
He looked up at her again, his gaze intense, something burning in his eyes. “Well… maybe not for you humans. Maybe you don’t have the instincts to know your mate just from sight… smell… It’s different for us bears, you know. Bears, we can know on sight. My parents got married after they had known each other for a day because they knew they were meant for each other. That’s the way it is among us bears.”
She opened her mouth to say that she doubted that it was but closed it again. They could turn into bears. She knew absolutely nothing about them as a people or a culture.
An unexpected pang hit her in the stomach. She had thought that the island was strange. People were a lot closer than she expected. Their views on sex were much more open than she had been used to. They shared land and resources communally to a large extent—nobody on the island went hungry. She had told Tyrell more than once about how much she loved it here, how at home it felt. And he had not once even hinted that there was something more going on. It made her heart ache as much as it made her angry. Why didn’t he trust her?
“Cynthia?” Rex frowned at her. “Are you listening?”
Shit, he had been talking. “Sorry. I got caught up in my own head. What were you saying?”
Rex frowned but didn’t comment. “I said that bears fall in love much quicker than humans seem to. We don’t have to spend a lot of time together in order to get to know one another. And you see, bears… we have this… thing. When two bears who are meant to be together find each other, they know. Whether after a day or a year, they know that they’re destined to be together.”
“Soulmates,” Cynthia whispered.
“We call ‘em just mates. Our bears,” he touched his chest. “They know. I didn’t really want to believe it since you’re not a bear like me. I didn’t think you’d understand. But I can’t breathe when I’m not with you. You are my perfect mate, Cynthia. And I’m sorry if it frightens you, but it’s true.”
It did frighten her. To think that she would have so much power over someone she barely knew… She shivered a little, shoulders hunching. While her mind automatically wanted to reject the notion of soulmates, to say that it was nothing but fantasy, there was an earnestness in Rex’s eyes that could not be faked.
He really believed that they were destined to be together, that she was his one true love. It was all very fairy-tale like. Frighteningly so.
He waited for a beat, then continued. “And I know what I said to Tyrell—I know that was wrong. But he just gets under my skin. And I hated the way he was looking at you like you were some sort of prize. I wanted to rile him up, so that’s why I said what I said. It wasn’t about you. It was all about him.”
That didn’t make it any better, but Cynthia didn’t say so. She looked over the blinding waves, wishing she could see the answers written there. Should she just leave it all behind and forget she had ever been on this island? Or should she stay, try to wrap her mind around it, and maybe find a way to continue to live her? She had never been as happy as she had been here.
And I could always go back to being a vet. An island populated by bears? I’d make bank.
She had to stifle the giggle her thought caused, not wanting to explain to Rex. He seemed heartened by her laugh, though and took her hand.
“Stay with me. Please.”
“I… okay.” Cynthia sighed as she relented. She didn’t want to leave. This island had become her home. Even though it was inhabited by bear shifters, she knew that she’d never find a place she’d fit in as snugly as she did here. “But this doesn’t mean there is anything between us, understand?”
“Of course.” His broad smile spoke to a different thought, but she didn’t bother repeating herself. He’d get the picture soon enough.
Rex turned the boat back toward the island, and Cynthia braced herself for the days to come.
Chapter Twelve – Tyrell
How the tables had turned.
Tyrell stared at Rex’s one-story rancher house. It had been a long time since he had been out here, and he was surprised how much had changed.
The house was newly built, having replaced the rundown thing Rex used to live in with his parents. The lawns had all been re-sodded and there was even a small vegetable garden on one corner. The garden was overrun by weeds, but that it existed at all showed a huge leap forward in Rex’s lifestyle.
The garage was new, too, probably to house Rex’s various cars and projects. He might be a hunter, but Rex had always been good at tinkering with vehicles.
The old truck groaned with protest as Tyrell stepped out of it, aware of his dirty jeans and the sweaty hat on his head. He took it off, using it to beat off some of the dirt clinging to him, and then started towards the house. There was no telling if Rex was home or not—it was just something he would have to risk. Right now, the most important thing was for him to talk to Cynthia.
He knew that she wouldn’t forgive him. Neither should she, really, not after the way he had acted. But he wasn’t here for himself. He was here for Tamara.
His daughter was heartbroken. All the previous day and halfway into the night, she has sobbed her heart out, begging him to bring Cynthia back. She had promised never to disobey, always eat her vegetables, and even never to shift again. It made him feel worse than scum that she was in such a state. No. He couldn’t leave her like this. He wasn’t going to have his daughter blaming herself for what had happened when it was his fault. Well, his and Smith’s. The other bear was nowhere to be found, though, and Tyrell knew that he himself was far from blameless in the situation.
And so, he had to make it right. Even if it meant begging Rex for permission to see Cynthia.
He raised his hand to knock, but before he could the door was yanked open. Cynthia’s name was already on his lips by the time he realized it was Rex.
His bear snarled, telling him to attack right at that moment, but he stopped himself and pulled back. He couldn’t stop himself from glaring, though. He shoved his hands into his pockets to show that he wasn’t looking for a fight. His shoulders tensed so badly that he felt it all down his spine. His nostrils flared. There was no scent of Cynthia on Rex, except for what would come from casual contact.
That fact kept his head on straight. Knowing that she hadn’t headed straight to bed with Rex gave him hope. Maybe there was something more between them.
Maybe he had a chance for forgiveness.
Rex stared down at him for a moment, and Tyrell was half expecting him to simply slam the door in his face before a grin crossed his face. “What are you doing here, Jarvis?”
“I’m here to see Cynthia.”
“And if Cynthia doesn’t want to see you?”
Tyrell’s bear snarled and growled, but he held back his own anger. “Then I suppose I will have to leave a message for her.”
“You’re not welcome here,” Rex snarled at him. Then, in a lower voice, “You’ve lost. Be gracious and back off. Or do you think that she can forgive you for locking her in a cellar like some runaway sex slave?”
His bear bristled at the surface. Tyrell felt his fingers sharpening into claws. How he managed to stay calm and not attack Rex’s smug, stupid face, he didn’t know. Or rather, he did. It was because he remembered the look in Tamara’s eyes. She had never lost anybody that she had gotten this close to. At least, not that she could remember. She’d only been an infant when Angela died.
“Rex. I know that you and I have our difficulties. But...” The word was hard to get out. “Please. Please tell Cynthia I am here to see her. If she doesn’t want to talk—”
“She doesn't,” Rex cut in.
But Cynthia was suddenly there, elbowing Rex in the side. Looking startled, he backed up a step. The little human gave him a black glare as she pushed her way passed the screen door to stand in front of Tyrell. She still glared at Rex as she folded her arms.
“I can decide for myself who I want to talk to, Rex. I can handle it. If you’re worried you can stay here and listen, but don’t start speaking for me.”
Rex opened his mouth, closed it, then shrugged. “Sorry,” he muttered, not sounding sorry at all.
Tyrell could have almost felt triumphant, only that black glare soon was directed at him. He felt his insides shrivel as he looked at her. He didn’t shrink back, though. Cynthia was mad at him. Alright, she had every right to be. But she was going to listen. Even if he had to stand here and beg all day for her to hear him out.
“What do you want, Tyrell?”
Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth. He intended to only tell her about Tamara, but that wasn’t what came out. “I’m sorry.”
Her gaze grew a little less black but it was still just as cold as before.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted. I should have talked to you. Not grabbed you like I did… I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
A look of uncertainty came over her face and she shook her head. Tyrell breathed a sigh of relief.
Cynthia drew herself up again. “That doesn’t mean that what you did is any less horrible. What made you think it was a good idea to lock me up in a root cellar? Especially after Smith attacked me like that. Do you have any idea how afraid I was?”
He flinched and shook his head, staring at the ground beneath his feet. “There is no excuse for that.”
“No. There isn’t. But I’m not asking for excuses, I’m asking for your reasons. You did have a reason, didn’t you? You didn’t think it would just be fun?”
Her scathing tone made him flinch. He wanted to snap at her that of course, he didn’t find it fun, but she had every reason to be angry with him. He pulled his hand through his hair, noticing the smirk on Rex’s face. This would be so much easier if he weren’t there. Just his presence was making Tyrell’s bear huff and slap his chest.
“Well?” Cynthia demanded. “Why did you do it?”
Tyrell looked back at her. “I panicked. That’s all I can say. I panicked.”
Her shoulders slumped.
“You were shouting things… I didn’t want Tamara to hear them. But I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.”
Cynthia’s arms tightened around herself. She still stared steadily at him, but her eyes were distinctly less icy by now. Not that that really made a difference. He’d lost her. “I see.”
“That doesn’t—” Rex started.
“That’s not a good reason.” Cynthia gave Rex a glare and he backed up a step. “I can understand that you wanted to protect your daughter, Tyrell. But if the only thing you could think of doing was to lock me up like that? It means that you’re an idiot and a control freak. So… So is there a reason I should accept your apology? Should I act like nothing’s wrong, and just go back to living with you as though you didn’t hurt me?”
Rex snarled. “He hurt you? You said he didn’t!”
“Not physically.” Cynthia snapped at him and glared at Tyrell again. “I have lived with you for several months. We have talked so many times. I told you about my ex-husband, about my exhausting parents, about things I really shouldn't have told you.”
He nodded, knowing he deserved every bit of her anger.
“And not once in any of those long discussions did you think it relevant to tell me that you could turn into a bear? My God, Tyrell. We slept together. We had sex in your shower and in the kitchen.”
Rex snarled again, sounding furious.
Cynthia continued ignoring him. “And you didn’t think I should know? Instead, you let me find out in the worst possible way?”
“It was wrong. I know.”
“Did you never even think about what you would do or say once I found out?”
“Cynthia. Please. I know what I did was wrong. And I am sorry, but you don’t have to forgive me. I’m not here for forgiveness.”
“Huh.” Rex snorted. “I wouldn’t have said that. With all your simpering ‘I’m sorry’s and—”
“Will you butt out?” Tyrell roared. Instantly he was ashamed of his outburst, but fortunately, he was not the one who got the brunt of Cynthia’s furious gaze. Rex shrunk back, and if the situation had been any less serious, Tyrell would have smirked.
“Rex.” Cynthia’s voice was like ice daggers. “I told you to let me handle this. Please go inside.”
“Cynthia—”
“I know you think you’re being protective, but you’re just making this worse. So. Please go back inside.”
Rex rocked on his heels. “But he’s already proven himself untrustworthy. Cynthia, I am just trying to look after you. You’re my mate and me—”
“Rex!”
What? Tyrell’s heart plunged to somewhere around his toes. He didn’t even bother trying to decipher Cynthia’s expression now. Angry that Rex kept interrupting or angry that he revealed the two of them as mates? Tyrell didn’t want to believe it. A scoff was on his lips, but it died quickly enough. Who was he to say if they weren’t mates? Surely, they’d know better than him!
His mind flashed to all the times he’d been inside of Cynthia, giving her pleasure as she gave him pleasure. The way their bodies fit so perfectly together, the way his bear has snarled at him to mark her. There was still a slight mark on her neck from one of his bites. Had it all meant nothing to her?
Why wouldn’t it? He tried to shove his bleeding emotions away. I was the idiot who let myself get in too deep. She was clear that she didn’t want emotions to get in the way.
She just must not have realized that Rex was her mate until now. Which… if there was one thing in this mess to be glad about, it was that if Cynthia and Rex were together now, it meant that she would still be in Tamara’s life. Hell, with her there he’d be about ready to start up some sort of visitation plan to allow Rex back into Tamara’s life.
Cynthia and Rex glared at one another for a long moment before she turned back to him. “I think you need to just say what you came to say and then leave. You said this isn’t about forgiveness. Then what is it about?”
“It’s about Tamara.”
Even Rex held his tongue this time. Cynthia’s eyes widened slightly and her arms dropped. At least he was getting through to her on this one. He took a deep breath. His body leaned forward, bear urging him to clasp her in his arms. That would be beyond stupid, though, so he rocked back again.
“Tamara blames herself for you leaving. She’s distraught.”
Compa
ssion shone from Cynthia’s eyes. “But it’s not her fault.”
“I know. And I’ve told her that, but she doesn’t believe me. She’s saying that she will never shift again.”
This time Rex broke in again. His eyes were wide with worry. “But she has to! Being a bear is central to who we are. If she never shifts again...”
Tyrell nodded at him. In this instance, he agreed with his bitterest rival. Who would have known? “I don’t want her to feel ashamed or like she has to hide who she is. I know that we've got lots of problems on this island, but I don’t want her thinking that there is something wrong with her… or you. She loves you, Cynthia. I know that you won’t want to work for me anymore and believe me, I get that.”
Now Rex frowned again, a troubled look on his face.
“But I didn’t come here for that. I just… I just want… I wanted to ask you to talk with Tamara. You could come to my place—both of you,” he added at Rex’s snarl. “Or I could bring her here or you could meet her and Ruby somewhere else entirely. I just… I don’t want her to think that you hate her.”
Cynthia closed her eyes. She sighed heavily and then opened them again. “Okay. I will talk to her because I love that little girl and I don’t want her to blame herself. But you do know that I’m going to throw you under the bus, right? She’ll know it’s not her fault—it’s yours.”
Tyrell nodded. He needed to make sure that Tamara was alright first and foremost. “I know. And believe me, I’ve told her that it’s my fault. I just think hearing it from you will help.”
“Okay. I will… I will call later. To talk with her. She and I will arrange a time and place to meet. Given the situation, I think it will be best if she has some control over what happens.”
Tyrell hadn’t thought of that but nodded. This time he did manage a shaky smile toward her. “Thank you.”
Cynthia didn’t respond, merely walking back inside the house. Tyrell watched her go for a moment before looking back at Rex. The bigger bear lifted his lip in a silent snarl. Before he could start being all macho and threatening, though, Tyrell turned and walked away.