by Heath Pfaff
Arthos gave a single dry laugh. “You’re so young, Lillin. You haven’t realized yet there there is never clarity. The others though, they won’t be long. I would give them a day or two at the most. You’re all they’re talking about right now.” He jogged ahead a ways and gestured for me to follow. “Come, let’s go to the mess and get a meal, then I will take you to the clerics to get partially healed before I show you how to do some of the work yourself. It has been a long day of training. Tomorrow we will settle into a better pattern now that I know what you need to work on the most.”
“What if they need to question me tomorrow?” I said, remembering that they still wanted to talk to me, or to learn more from me.
“Then we’ll start when they are finished.” He answered easily.
“You seem very confident in that. They might just decide to kill me.” I couldn’t help but voice my worries. The Wardens had been nothing if not brutal up to this point. I didn’t think it unlikely that they might simply be done with me if they decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.
Arthos didn’t look back as he answered. “Dwelling on what might happen if things go poorly doesn’t achieve anything for us. Right now you are my apprentice, and that means I am responsible for seeing that you are well trained. That is my priority. I don’t think they would have bothered to assign you to me if they didn't think you had potential. We’ll find out soon enough, though.” He gave a short laugh.
I didn’t particularly share his mirth but I let him lead me back through the halls anyway. We picked up a meal together, fresh meats, cheese and a small bit of bread, and then the clerics worked on my ribs some before Arthos showed me how to use my Will to facilitate my own healing. It wasn’t easy at all. I couldn’t believe it might become second nature at some point, but with the help of the healers I was well on my way to mending by the time Arthos and I parted.
At that point it was quiet again and I had time to think which was really the last thing I wanted. Thinking was troublesome. Thinking meant that I had to relive the events of the past few days. I couldn’t just put it all away and move on. I couldn’t forget Zark or my other friends. I couldn’t forget the fear of the water chamber or the knowledge that all of it had been for some greater good that I’d only just learned about and barely understood.
We were pawns in a war that had gone on for hundreds of years and would probably go on for hundreds more. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that either. Was I supposed to be excited? Was the revelation supposed to make me feel like all the suffering had been for a good reason? Instead I felt like we’d gone through everything just to be thrown into an even more dangerous and terrifying situation. That didn’t really settle well with me. Why should I be proud and excited to be another disposable cog in a machine intent on grinding itself to nothing?
Sleep did finally find me, but it took a long time, and it brought with it a whole army of nightmares and horrors that I knew had already taken firm root in my thoughts. I’d be having those dreams for a long time. By the time the sun was back up I was more than happy to be awake. Sleep had been terrible. Rest, for what it was worth, wasn’t very restful.
I dressed and waited in my room, uncertain what was expected of me on this new day. I didn't have to wait long at all. There was a sharp knock at my door.
“It’s open.” I answered, and then it swung open and a man I hadn’t seen before was there. He wore a very standard Warden’s uniform. If he’d had any extras put on it I couldn’t tell immediately. His hair was some shade of faded brown, and his eyes seemed particularly blank in his pale face.
“The council will speak with you now.” He said, voice deep and resonate in his chest, which made me realize that he was actually very large. He was tall and broad across the shoulders. There was no friendliness to his tone. There was no hostility either. He seemed like a teacher’s slate before the day’s lesson had begun.
I stood up and offered a short, formal bow. “Thank you. I’m ready.” I answered, feeling more nervous than I would have liked. It was clear that much of my future depended on what was about to happen. I hadn’t anticipated I’d be facing judgement this quickly.
My escort didn’t reply, but turned and started walking, so I fell in behind him as quickly as I could. We passed through familiar territory until we reached a corridor I hadn’t been down before. In fact, I couldn't’ remember the corridor having been there at all the last time I’d one this way, but it was now, looking every bit like it had always existed in this place. The Wardens had ways of hiding halls, or at least of making you not notice them. It was curious. My guide turned down this new hallway and I fell in behind him. There were other portals along both sides, ancient looking doors that I immediately recognized to be gateways like the one that had taken us to the training grounds, though these were trying to look more like regular doors. I was shocked to see so many in one place. I could feel a strange tingling from each, as though they all were buzzing very gently.
We stopped suddenly and turned towards one. He reached for it and I felt a surge of Will as his hand touched it. He turned the handle and pushed it open, and it opened onto the inside of a large tent. There was a table in the center, and there were at least a dozen various scowles around the table, some on weary looking faces covered in dirt, others on faces fresh and clean. One of the women was even wearing a fur cloak that looked like it had the last vestiges of snow still on it, though the air felt warm around me.
I recognized some of these people. Not all of them, but some had been there the night I’d been accused of sleeping with Zark. Funny, then, that I would be here in the wake of having done exactly that, and yet this time I was not here to be judged for that action at all. I found a somewhat cold smile sliding onto my lips and I really couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening. The situation wasn’t humorous in any way, not really, but for some reason it tickled some dark part of my personality.
“You are here to help us understand what happened during your water test, and why you are the way you are now.” One of the men said. He was unfamiliar to me. “We have been administering that test for a very long time, and no one has ever come out of it the way you have, so perhaps you can understand why we are so interested.”
“You think I somehow cheated, which would be impossible since none of us had any idea what you planned to do to us. Do you think we would have gotten into those boxes if we knew you planned to drown us?” I asked, struggling to keep a grip on my anger. I laughed derisively, the unnatural smile on my face almost turning to a snarl. It was madness to act so callous in front of these people, but the tension and anger and worry were all bubbling up inside of me now and this was how it was escaping.
“Impossible unless you had someone on the inside who helped you, one of the teachers, or perhaps one of the dark nurses. The damned Fel Clerics have never been a known quantity, not really. They could be moving against us.” I didn’t recognize this woman either, but I recognized the man she was standing next to. Harkov. He’d tried to to see me buried at the last trial I’d faced.
“The Fel Clerics have their own motivations and they don’t always align with ours, but they also are best served by being friendly with us. You all know that. There is no benefit to them in undermining our training, and you’re forgetting the most important piece of evidence that we have. Lillin has found her Will. If the test had gone wrong, then she wouldn’t have done so. What we’ve seen here is, by my best guess, a powerful instinctive survival streak that simply refused to let her die. From what I hear she is quite powerful in the Will, even if that power is unfocused and wild.” The woman who spoke was another new face. She turned to me. “What were your thoughts as the test progressed?”
“I didn’t get to think much. When the tube was pulled away I panicked. I wanted to be free, then I just desperately wanted to hold my breath as long as I could, but I hadn’t really taken a big gasp of air before the straw was torn from my lips. There was an awful burning in my chest, and I trie
d to stop myself from breathing because I knew it would be water and I’d die, but my body just wouldn’t listen.” As I was speaking I shook just a little. I hoped no one could see it, but the memory made me feel cold and afraid. My mad smile slipped from my face.
“When the water poured into my lungs it scared me. I thought I was going to die. I knew I was going to die. I almost did, but just as I was fading I . . . there was something. My Will, it tore me back from death. It forced my body to work again, to work as it had before. It was painful. It burned worse than those breaths you take after you’ve run too long and hard, and every inch of me felt like it was on fire. It was terrifying, but every time I took another breath of water it happened again.” My answer left me feeling less rebellious, less angry. The memory of the experience was bleak, draining, and then remembering looking over to Zark after I was finally pulled free, that was worse entirely
“I didn’t cheat. I was too afraid to do anything at all. I just couldn’t die. I wouldn’t, not after I’d come so far.” I said, finishing my statement.
There was some whispering. They spoke for long minutes as I stood there waiting, voices low pitched and intense. There was a great deal of looking back and forth amongst one another, harsh whispers spoken hastily, and finally they seemed to reach a general consensus. One of the men who’d doubted me spoke for the group.
“Your training is finished. We will continue to watch you, however. You are a unique case and we need to understand how your Will works. You are dismissed, Warden Lillin. May your Will Ever Burn.” He bowed his head slightly, not exactly the sort of bow you’d give someone you honored, but at least a sign of acknowledgment.
“You can go now.” Harkov said. He didn’t look happy, but his anger seemed less focused. He was unhappy, but he was also somewhat apathetic. He didn’t care what happened to me now. In losing his ability to see me thrown out of the training, he’d apparently decided just to put me from his mind.
I nodded and turned, slipping out through the door I’d come in from. The blank faced Warden from before was standing beyond, and he pulled it shut in my wake. “This is a free day for you. You should familiarize yourself with the grounds. Your training starts in full tomorrow, and it’s likely that you’ll spend part of it beyond the wall.” He said, and he started to turn.
“Wait, Warden, what is your name?” I asked, not entirely certain why I bothered.
He stopped and turned back to me. “I am Arkins.” He answered, and then he bowed a bit, turned and strode away down the hall. I looked the way he’d gone, and then back the other way. It was strange to be left entirely to my own devices in such a new place. This whole situation was strange. I was also very surprised that the meeting had been so short. They’d really barely questioned me at all. It felt more like they were just finalizing something they’d already decided on before I even got there. Clearly some of them didn't want me here, but they weren’t as committed to the idea of getting rid of me as they had once been, or they had other plans to do so.
I sighed and tried to shrug off the worry that plagued me. There was nothing I could do about it now. I’d have to just keep going and keep my eyes open. The whole situation felt no less tense than the earlier parts of my training. The dangers simply lurked in new places now. The worst part was that I had no idea what to expect going forward. If I’d learned anything during my training it was that these lessons could, and often did, kill you.
I gave a brief thought to Arthos, wondering why they’d given me the day off instead of sending me to train with him. He’d seemed to think we’d be back to training, but then I simply let the worries go. A day without needing to concern myself with anything was what I needed. I intended to use it for doing as little as possible. I had a great deal of thinking yet to do.
8.3
I woke with the dawn and crawled from my bed to dress. I was no longer forbidden from roaming freely, so after I was dressed and equipped I slipped out of my room. Just outside my door was a pack that was already done up. This wasn’t such an unusual thing to have happen that I was taken off guard so I opened it and gave a quick look inside. There were clothes, at least another set, and a few other travel supplies. I frowned at it as I considered why I had such supplies, but picked it up and put it in my room. Then I left again and went to find something to eat. It was there that Arthos found me. His murky green eyes seemed to contain a note of mirth.
“Still here, I see.” He said as he sat down with me to finish the meal he’d brought with him when he noticed me enter the room. It was of the same make as mine. Eggs and some type of particularly gamey meat served with cheese and bread that was better than any I’d eaten since starting this ordeal.
“Apparently I’m too interesting to kick out of the Wardens.” I noted dryly.
“That you are.” He agreed, and then we settled into silence as we finished our meal. He cleaned off his knife and put it away as he finished the last of his food and I did the same before he stood up and looked at me. “Ready to go beyond the city?” He asked, and I could see he was excited.
“Just like that?” I was certain that my surprise was evident in the tone of my voice. I was shocked that there wasn’t more training involved in what felt like a very big step to me. I’d never been beyond the city, and other than a general layout of the continent beyond, I knew very little about what to expect. The histories and general knowledge taught to us at the academy spoke little of what the world was actually like outside of Black Mark.
“Just like that.” He answered. “You’re a Warden now, and that means it’s time to find out what your place will be in the world, if you have one at all. You might end up back here for good, but every Warden at least gets to look out beyond the walls once. It’s different out there. Very different.”
“Dangerous?” I asked, not concerned really, but interested.
He thought for a few seconds before answering. “In places, yes. The Will and the Way have fought for a long time, and we’ve left other concerns aside while we’ve done so. Some of those concerns have become threats, but this city isn’t all that exists. There are others out there who are doing their own part to keep other threats at bay. Some of them might even consider this city dangerous. After all, there is nothing else like it in the lands of the Will users. There are other cities, of course, but Black Mark is unique.”
“Come along.” He said, and then he turned and was headed for the door.
I looked back at our plates as we walked away. “Shouldn't’ we clean up after ourselves?”
He gave a short look over his shoulder. “No, so long as you eat in the cafeteria your mess will be cleaned up for you. We are Wardens. We have more important things to do then pick up plates. Of course you may find that picking up plates is an enviable task once you’ve been on the road a while. Do you have a pack and spare clothes, a bedroll? Those things should have been delivered to you last night.”
I nodded, thinking of the pack I’d found just outside my room. “So we’ll be gone for multiple days then?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes, maybe a couple of months. It depends on how well you do out there, and if you can keep up with your training while we travel.” He answered.
“So we’re going to travel on foot?” I asked, curious as to why we wouldn’t just use the doors. “I thought the doors could take us anywhere?”
“The doors can take you just about anywhere, Lillin, but there aren’t that many of them, and most of them require a connection to a real location to manage the jump. Those that don’t . . . well, jumping from a point to another point that isn’t just a memory image without the aid of an arrival door is, as far as we know, impossible. Travel doors, moveable points, are very uncommon despite how many we have collected for our use. I can’t put an exact number on them, but of the thousands and thousands of individual cities and hamlets out there, there is simply no way to have a door in each, not when there are more strategic locations to have them. Only key cities and locations get a do
or. Most of us travel on mount. It’s not as fast, certainly, but if you’re not going to a location already marked by a door, it’s easier.” He gave me a grin that was a bit manic looking on his face. “Besides, the countryside is beautiful, and I think you’re going to like riding.”
“Riding what?” My voice was tinged with a bit of uncertainty. I’d seen traders in the city ride around on work horses, but I’d never thought they looked particularly comfortable. I couldn’t imagine doing that for days on end. There were also cathian, small fast creatures that traveled on four legs at great speeds, but their range when carrying a rider was short, and they could be quite moody. Usually only quick couriers bothered with the furry, whiskered menaces.
“We’re not going to ride horses are we?” I didn’t make an effort to hide my displeasure at the idea.
“Oh, by the Blackened, no!” He answered with a chuckle. “Those creatures are stupid and slow, and they will beat your ass into a pulp. No, we’re going by kea.”