by Heath Pfaff
I nodded. “Yes, that it does. Well, we ended up following its trail back up into the mountains, to Night Watch. Something came after us while we were there and we had to make a break through one of the doors, but something went wrong and we didn't end up where we’d intended.”
“I didn’t know that was possible.” Linna sounded surprised. “I was taught the doors are very precise and won’t work if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing.”
“I was taught that as well, and I don’t think Arthos was prepared either.” I decided not comment on his strange behaviour or the more troubling things that had happened on the other side of the door. “He took something from the place we went. I’m not sure if he was supposed to, but he insisted.” I tried not to sound agitated as I said this, but it was still bothering me. Nothing had happened when we’d gotten back, but I felt like things were on the cusp of going very wrong.
Linna gave a shrug. “Well, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. He has a great deal more field experience than we do.” Linna’s smile turned a bit more solemn. “We didn't get much time to talk after . . . well, after we became Wardens. I just wanted you to know, Lillin, that I’m sorry about Zarkov. He was really great. I thought he was going to make it.”
The sudden change of topic to this unwanted area of discussion took me a bit by surprise. I winced at the mention of his name. “Um . . . well . . . “ I felt like I couldn’t force myself to speak for a moment. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly and then tried again. “Thank you, it’s alright. He was a really great . . . friend.” The word felt bad on my tongue. It felt like a betrayal.
“Yes, he was. Gaveech lost a good friend as well.” She said, emphasizing the word that I had stuck on myself. “He hasn’t been the same since. I’m hoping some time in the field will get him back in the right place. I just wanted you to know that if you need someone talk to, someone who will listen to you, you can come to me any time.”
I nodded, unable to meet her eyes in that moment. “Of course, thank you very much.” I said, the words a bit horse in my throat. I felt Dreea lean into me then, her slightly warmer body pressed against my back.
“So, Dreea, you’re a willifen! I’ve never met one of your . . . people before.” Linna changed the subject, and for that I was thankful. “I’m sorry to say this, but I didn’t believe you existed really, and I actually thought you were just animals. I didn’t know you could talk.”
“We are all animals, Linna.” Dreea replied seriously. “Talking doesn’t make us better, it just makes it easier to understand, to relate. I didn’t believe Wardens existed until I met Arthos and Lillin. Friend told us stories, but I thought your kind were just tales he’d read of in books.”
Linna looked delighted. “You’re so clever! That was a very good answer.” She was caught up in the novelty of Dreea looking like a beast that could talk, and I supposed at one time it had been the same for me. Now it was difficult to not think of her as just another of my companions, a compassionate and intelligent one. “You’re creating quite a commotion here! Typically only Wardens are allowed, but your situation for coming here was unusual, and I’ve heard that you want to be a Warden as well?”
“Yes, perhaps.” Dreea answered. “I wish to travel with my friend, Lillin, and think about what I might do.”
I was pleased to hear she still wasn’t certain. I hoped she’d reconsider starting the Warden training all together. I didn’t want to interfere with what she wanted, but I dreaded the thought of her starting down the path that had brought me so much pain.
“I’ve heard there is another school in or near the Expanse. They take a greater range of students there. Gaveech will know more when he gets back. He was headed that way last time I talked to him.” Linna’s look turned a bit concerned. “I hope they don’t give you any trouble here. They can be so protective of their secret.”
“They won’t give us trouble.” I said quickly, though I was worried about that as well. Having Dreea in the school made me nervous. Almost everyone I’d cared about who’d been there was gone. “I don't think we’ll be here long. Once Arthos finishes his business we’ll probably go back out on the road. We didn't really get to do the things we intended to do. My training has been mostly on hiatus.”
“You’ve been here a few days already, has Arthos come back and talked to you? I’ve heard rumors, but no one is really saying much.” Linna had an excited and curious look about her. That much, at least, hadn’t changed about the woman I’d known before our training finished.
“No, I haven’t seen him since we first returned to the school. He took his artifact to the Wardens, and things have been quiet since then. I thought for sure someone would come here to lecture me about bringing Dreea back with us, but no one has said much of anything. We get some odd looks when we go out for meals, but other than that it has been peaceful. It feels like the calm in the middle of a storm.” I sighed and leaned back some, which I found actually pushed me back into Dreea. She leaned into me as well. It was comfortable, so I didn’t bother to shift.
“I’m eager to be on the move again. I don’t like it here.” I added after a moment of thought.
Linna gave a nod. “I feel the same way. I’ve never thought of this place as ‘home.’ I just want to be out exploring again, working and helping people.” She was still smiling easily, though it had a vaguely haunted look about it. “I’m trying to become a knight. They run errands like the ones we’ve been doing, and they get to fight the Way out on the front line. They seem like the most important branch of the Wardens.”
It made me just a little sad that Linna wanted to join the war effort. I was still having difficulty seeing the Way as a threat, though I supposed that might have been because I’d never faced them in battle. They were still so far away.
“I’m probably going to work as a scout. I want to explore new things, go to strange places.” As I said these words, I wondered when it had gone from a nebulous goal to the one I would actually work towards. That was a big change, and not one that I’d ever really thought about, not thoroughly.
“I’ve heard that it’s dangerous. Korva seems to know a lot about them.” Linna’s attention was piqued. “They also don’t take many people. I have to admit, the idea appealed to me for a bit, but it feels like there is more . . . I don’t know, like I can interact with others more if I become a knight. I think I just really want to stay connected, and I’m not sure I want the burden that comes with working entirely on my own. I like having my orders to fall back on, but scouts stay away for such a long time. It’s actually a bit frightening.”
I laughed a little and smiled at Linna. “You’re afraid of choice? Linna, you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met.”
She just grinned and shrugged. “Really I’m not, Lil. I’m just very good at pretending.” Her face grew a bit more serious. “All of our training, especially at the end, it felt like I was fighting for my life constantly. I always felt uncertain. I think now that I’m Warden I just want to have certainty in my day to day existence. I want a direction; goals I can see and feel. Maybe that will change at some point, but right now a little bit of predictability sounds wonderful.”
Predictability, I had to admit, didn’t seem like such a terrible problem to have.
We talked for another hour or so, and then Linna excused herself. I watched her go with a small twinge of longing for old times. Talking to her again made me feel like I was still here to learn, still striving to become a Warden. Our conversation had made me feel like I might turn a corner at any moment and be face to face with Zark again.
“You seem sad.” Dreea’s voice dispelled the fog of memories.
I looked over at her and tried to make myself seem less worn by the past. “I am a little. Being back here reminds of a lot of things. This place, the Wardens, they aren’t what the stories say they are. Becoming one of us is a long path, and it’s painful.” On impulse I quickly added, “You can travel with me as long as you wa
nt, Dreea. You don’t have to become a Warden if you decide it doesn’t suit you.”
Dreea smiled, her tail swishing at her back. “Thank you, Lillin. I am thinking on this.”
I hoped she would think long and hard, and in the end she would decide that her fate was better going any other direction. I’d lost enough friends already.
13.2
I left Dreea sleeping in the room and snuck out on my own. It was a sudden compulsion that drove me, and one that I didn’t intend to embrace at first, but some morbid curiosity won out over the rational part of my mind that told me I would be better off leaving such things as they were. Besides, it was early yet, and though Dreea had fallen to sleep fast enough, my mind refused to to settle for the evening.
My course was an easy one. I’d done some snooping the day before and discovered that students who became golems were honored for their sacrifice, unwilling as it was. There was a small shrine setup in a courtyard near the back exit of the school. It was called the Grove of Sentinels and not many knew its exact purpose. During the early years of the golem program, one of the men involved had requested it be built. He’d insisted that no one should serve the Wardens onto their own demise and not be honored in some small way. There had been resistance to the idea.
Many Wardens of the time believed that this memorial would shed light on the secret the golems represented, but some of them felt that the inherent sacrifice of the men and women who became golems was enough that they deserved some recognition. They did. They deserved more than any small memorial would ever offer them, but this would have to do. Once I knew of the grove’s existence, I needed to see it for myself. I needed to say goodbye to Ori properly, to see that someplace she would be remembered.
I’d stumbled upon the existence of the grove quite unintentionally. I was looking for Zarkov. I’d wanted to find where he was laid to rest, but soon enough discovered that was a place beyond my current reach. While searching, though, I came across mentions of the Grove of Sentinels, and then it had taken me several trips to the school’s libraries to search the old histories. The mentions of the creation of the grove were vague, but by piecing together six different accounts of the debates regarding the place, and with the knowledge I had from speaking with Ghoul in the past, I finally pieced together the truth.
The grove had been constructed in a lightly trafficked area, and the small public yard was open at all times of day to those who wished to find some peace among the trees. For those who didn’t know what they were looking at, the place would just seem like one of the school’s many hidden courtyards.
It didn’t take me long to reach the door. It was an unassuming thing, with a small plaque to one side that read, “Here we remember the sentinels who watch and protect us all. Let not one of them be forgotten for the honor of their sacrifice.” It was vague enough that most wouldn’t understand what it meant.
I hesitated a moment, a wave of uncertainty bubbling up inside of me as I considered whether or not I really wanted to enter this glade of sad memories, but then I turned the handle and stepped out into the small wooded area. It was well kept, the grass short and neat where it wound like a ribbon through the small collection of trees. I wasn’t sure what I had expected, but it took me a little to figure out how things were arranged. There were no statues, or grave markers. Of course that made sense since there would be no graves for those who became golems.
Some of the trees had circles of stone around them, and some didn’t. I went to one of the trees with a circle at its base and walked around it until I came across a small metal nameplate set upon the stone. “Camill Yevaldi. She stands forever.” Once I found that one it was easier to find others, but there were so many of them.
I was caught up in the act of walking from stone circle to stone circle, lost in the reading of forgotten names. I barely noticed when I almost walked directly into someone else.
“Lillin?” A familiar voice startled me and I took a defensive step back before my heart slowed and I realized who it was.
“Shina?” I was very surprised to come across her there. I didn’t even know she was allowed into this part of the school. She wasn’t a Warden, though she was an incredibly skilled woman. Her ability with weapons, and her gift to determine what weapons others would be good with had made her incredibly valuable during the training process. I hadn’t seen her since I started the second part of the Warden training.
Of course, I also knew that this short, powerful woman with her almost too large chest had been very close with Ori, and it was with that knowledge that I knew exactly why she was here.
She had apparently put things together as well, though it was probably easier from her perspective. “You came to see Ori?” She asked softly, and then added. “You know?” That seemed like a double edged question. Was she asking if I knew what had happened to Ori, or was she asking if I knew what had been between the two of them? Either way, I did know, and it was really only the first question that seemed dangerous anymore. Wardens loved their secrets.
I gave a single nod. “I know, but how do you know?” I had to ask.
Her smile was small and mostly sad. “I watched her so closely. When she . . . when her course through the school ended I couldn’t find her. I looked everywhere, then one day I found a note outside my door. It explained things, and it told me to come here if I wanted to say goodbye.”
She gave a shrug. “I have friends who are Wardens. They let me in at night to come here. I figured one of them must have wanted me to know what had happened.” Her eyes looked glassy even beneath the stars. The moon was bright that night, and it made the sadness in her features so easy to read. She nodded towards a nearby stone circle. “Her name is here.” She said, and then she walked that way.
I followed after her, wondering who had written her that note. Who knew about Ori? There weren’t a great many people that it could be. I could think of one, but would Ghoul have done something like that? He would be in so much trouble if anyone ever found out. Of course, Ghoul seemed to love the idea of getting in trouble. He was erratic at the best of times. It had probably been him. He might have done it as a small gesture of goodwill to me, one that he hadn’t even bothered to mention. He might have also done it just because it tickled his fancy, or because some small part of him was actually yet a good person.
We reached the stone and I read the name on it. I didn’t even recognize her last name. I’d only heard her full first name maybe once in my life, so I barely recognized what I was reading. “Orianna Triveo. She stands forever.” I knelt down next to the stone and ran my fingers over the metal on the name place. It had a shine to it that the older ones didn’t. The tree it surrounded was young, but it looked like one that would grow to be massive one day. Some of the trees the earliest circles surrounded were monoliths, though a few had withered with time. That was a sad thing to see.
Shina sat down on the stone, slumping as though her body had given out. “I knew it couldn’t last. I’ve been teaching here for years, and I know how things are in the training, but Ori was . . . she was incredible. Everything about her was so good, strong.” She gave a small laugh. “Even when she ended up with the damned sword it was just perfect for her. I believed, I really believed, that she’d make it all the way.”
I wasn't sure what to say exactly, how to make Shina hurt less. I saw in her an echo of the pain I felt with Zarkov. “I thought she’d make it too. I always looked up to her. She was what I wanted to be all the way through training. When I found out she’d fallen I couldn’t believe it. For a while I thought it meant I couldn’t make it either. I miss her.”
Shina nodded and wiped at her face. “I miss her too, but I’m happy that someone else remembers her. I’m happy she had a good friend. She didn't make friends easily.”
I laughed a bit at that. Shina really did know Ori well, but of course she did. “She didn’t make it easy, but it was worth the trouble.” I smiled at the other woman. “She was one of only two people
I trusted and called a friend here.” This brought Zarkov back to the forefront of my thoughts. There were others I knew, that I’d laughed with or survived with, but it had always been those two.
Shina smiled too, but the expression faded as she looked back at the nameplate. “The other one didn’t make it either?” She asked.
I shook my head. “No, he didn’t make it either. Very few ever do.”
“Too few.” Shina added, an edge of bitterness to her voice.
I could only nod.
We sat and talked well into the night. We remembered, we smiled, and we cried.
13.3
I was at the school for four more days before someone finally came to tell me what was to happen next, and it wasn’t Arthos. I had seen nothing of him at all since we’d first arrived. It was Korva who came speak with me. I had not seen her since just after the water test. She’d been the first Warden to come while I’d been waiting for them to decide what to do in the wake of that tragedy. I hadn’t exactly been kind to her at the time, and I carried some guilt from that into this new encounter.