by Heath Pfaff
I frowned at this, my anger sparking. “I was just speaking my mind, and it was the truth. We both know what he’s doing is a mistake. He knows it too, but he’s a damned fool who thinks he can succeed despite the risks. He’s just making things worse.”
Ghoul nodded. “There is no doubting that, but the truth stands, he can destroy you with his Will. You’re lucky he only chose to humiliate you today.” He seemed to notice I was naked again, and then he waved me over to the side of the room. “I have some spare uniforms here. They won’t fit exactly, but you shouldn’t walk back through Forge with just that cloak on. It’s cold and though you might not be ashamed to have to do it, you deserve more respect than that.”
He started opening drawers and pulling things out. All of his clothes looked worn, though they were clean. I took what he offered me, taking off the cloak to get dressed. It felt a bit strange being naked in front of him, but he didn’t gawk. He waited until I was dressed again in the clothes that were far too loose on me, and then he nodded to himself. “Yes, you’re looking much more presentable now.”
I picked up the cloak and handed it back to him, but he held up a hand and shook his head. “No, keep that. It has been mine for a long time, but I’d like you to have it. It is of a fibre that isn’t made anymore. It’s stronger than the cloth we use these days, but much, much more difficult to make. It’s fireproof, and resists wear. I’ve had that cloak for as long as I’ve been a warden, and it might be a bit tattered, but it’s still strong.”
“Ghoul, I can’t take your cloak. You’ll need it.” I told him, and attempted to give it back to him again, but he just shook his head and refused to reach for it.
“I want you to have it, Lillin. You’ll be doing dangerous things, and it’s good for you to have some extra protection. I can get another cloak if I want. I won’t be leaving this city. I have much less to worry about than you do.” That was that, then. He wouldn’t take it back.
I sighed and wrapped it around my shoulders. It did feel nice. It had a bit of extra weight to it, and it hung in a particularly nice way. “I will wear it with honor then.” I promised him, though the words felt silly to say.
“More honor than I did, no doubt.” He gave one of his mad chuckles afterwards. “I want you to come back here tomorrow evening, just after supper’s bell. I’ll be waking Ori then. She’ll need you here for that.” His voice was firm as he spoke again, crackling with a hint of his Will, though he wasn’t actively using it.
“Alright, I can do that.” I told him. I was scared of what might happen, but I would be there if he thought it was important. It felt like it would be. I would do my best for Ori.
“Good!” He sounded pleased. “Very good.” The second sounded almost relieved. “In that case I will see you tomorrow. I still have a great deal of work to get done. I’m afraid I can’t chat with you all night.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Visits with Ghoul were always strange. I doubted that would ever change. It wasn’t in the man’s nature not to be strange. “Alright, then I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”
He nodded. “Goodnight, Lillin.”
“Goodnight, Ghoul.” I gave him a short bow, and then I turned and headed out into the evening.
The walk back through the Forge felt long, though it didn’t really take that much time. I passed the hole I’d clawed away with my bare hands, anger rolling up inside of me. The King was a bully. He was a man so used to getting his way that he didn’t hesitate to punish those who didn’t see eye to eye with him. An inability to listen to others meant that he was a fool, and an especially big one for punishing those willing to speak up when he was making a mistake. If you harshly silenced the voice of opposition long enough, then it would stop being raised. At that point, without a wider perspective, we were all doomed. Black Mark, it seemed, was a testament to the Iron Will, the King’s mad quest for complete domination of his domain.
Well, if he thought that I’d learned my lesson because he’d sent me out to be embarrassed, then he was sorely mistaken. I would not be so easily silenced. I would have to rethink my methods going forward, but I wouldn’t let him dim the fire inside of me. I was too big a fool to do so.
When I reached Korva’s tent I was surprised to see she was sitting inside, nervously awaiting my return. A look of relief passed over her expression as I entered the tent. “You’re back.” Her shoulders seemed to slump some, and she let out a sigh of relief.
“Yes, a friend came to get me.” I said, and I realized that I felt a bit angry with her. She hadn’t bothered to check on me, or she’d been too afraid of being punished for doing so. Of everyone who might have come, only Ghoul had done so.
“You’re alright?” She asked, getting up and stepping in my direction.
I flinched back, though I hadn’t meant to. “Yes,” My answer came out a bit clipped. “I need a new uniform. My friend lent me this one, but it’s a bit big on me.”
“I’ve had one sent to your tent. Lillin, there was nothing I could do.” Korva was a bit defensive. “The King made the order, and he told us to leave you be, that you’d snap out of it on your own eventually. It’s the Iron Will. We had to do what he asked.”
“Oh, I keenly understand the Iron Will now, Korva.” My voice cracked with anger, and I had to take a breath to calm my nerves some. “Everyone is afraid of the King, and he gets to do as he pleases without recourse. He pretends that the opinions of others matter to him, and then makes mistakes at whim, and we attempt to clean up the mess. I understand the Iron Will very well now.”
“It’s not like that!” Korva responded quickly, her voice almost angry, but she paused and when she spoke again her tone was much softer. “Not all of his decisions are bad. Many times he has made the right choice, and Black Mark has thrived under his rule. He is under a great deal of stress right now.”
I shook my head, shocked that she would make excuses for him. I’d seen this kind of thing with abusive relationships. Anyone who’d ever had a crush on Kavack had ended up in the same predicament. They made excuses for his behaviour, and apologized for his abuse of them as though it was their fault. It was almost like a sickness, but one lodged in their minds. I didn’t really want to hear this from Korva. I liked her, and I hated seeing her as weak because of this.
I shook my head. “We both know what he is, Korva. Let’s not dwell on this tonight. Where am I sleeping? It has been a long day, and I need to get some rest before tomorrow. I think it will be an eventful day.”
“Your tent is near mine. I hung a red cloth at it’s door so you could find it. They just finished putting it up an hour ago.” She sounded sad now, defeated, and it made me think that she did know what the King was, and she understood. She was like the others; afraid to speak out. For all of our Will, and all of our training on being strong, we were still all terrified little children when placed against the King. In a way it was surprising that any of us could muster Will at all. How could they feel strong and confident enough to draw on their Will with such a shadow hanging over them? I refused to be afraid. I was far too angry.
“Thank you.” I said, and then I turned and left to look for my cot. It didn't take me long to find. It wasn’t far from Korva’s, and when I saw the red flag I tucked inside quickly, drawing the flap closed behind me with a sigh of relief. I was alone. Finally.
“Lillin.” A voice behind me. I jumped and swung around quickly, reaching for a weapon that I didn't have at my back, one that I’d even forgotten to ask about.
As I saw who it was I calmed, my stance relaxing some, but confusion took hold very quickly. “What are you doing here?” I asked, and realized that the words had come out sounding quite harsh. I softened my voice. “I’m sorry, it has been a long day, but why are you here, Iyavi?” I hadn’t seen the Fel Cleric in a long time, not since the ceremony where they’d put one of her worms in my arm. There was something different about her, though it took me a minute to realize what it was. “Where is your collar?”
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Fel Clerics had to wear their collar at all times. The worms that they put inside themselves to induce suffering would burrough up and into their brains if they didn’t constantly drip poison into themselves. Iyavi wasn’t wearing her collar at all. In fact, she wasn’t dressed in any of her Cleric’s trappings.
She shrugged, looking awkward and strangely young now, like a girl just into her school years, but I thought it was likely that she was older than I was. “I’m not a Cleric anymore.” She spoke softly.
I didn't know that was possible. I thought Fel Clerics were dedicated for life. “What happened?” I asked, shocked, almost as shocked as I was to find her there.
“I got lost in the halls.” She said, gesturing with her head at some unknown destination beyond the tent walls. “I saw things, so many terrible things, and I thought I would die. When I came back here I . . . I just wanted to be free of the Fel Clerics. I’d seen real suffering, and I didn’t want a part of it anymore. That was a week ago.”
“You can just quit?” I asked, my voice incredulous.
She nodded. “The order doesn’t force anyone to be a part of it, but the call of the power is very strong. I don’t know of anyone who has ever stepped away from it before death.” She shook her head, looking lost and afraid. “I saw the price of that power, the meaning of pain and suffering like we endure, and it was not what I wanted. Not really.”
“Well, I guess I’m happy for you. Are you happy now?” I wasn’t sure what to say really, or why she was here.
“No.” She answered quickly. “I’m afraid now, and lonely, but I heard you were here. I heard what happened to you today and . . . “ There was very little light in the tent. A single candle burned on a small table, but I thought I saw color on her cheeks. “I wanted to check on you. I asked around and found my way here.”
“I’m well enough.” I said, trying to hide my exasperation to some extent. I was tired, far too tired for company, and I really didn’t know what to say to this woman.
Iyavi stepped forward, bringing herself further into the light. Her neck was black and blue, scarred from having worn her collar for so long, but her skin was a bit brighter now. She looked a bit more healthy and vibrant. She was dressed in a summer dress, the single piece outfit hanging over her in a strange way after having seen her so often in the drab attire of the Clerics. She hardly looked like I remembered her at all.
I opened my mouth to tell her she should go, but she spoke first, words crowding in before I could say anything.
“Are you? You sound worn, and you look tired. Perhaps I could do something for you? I brought a little food, and some water. It isn’t much, but things are being rationed. I could look after you while you rest and recover.” There was a certain franticness to the way she spoke, as though she knew I’d been about to ask her to go and was afraid of exactly that happening.
I was hungry, and I was thirsty. I let out a soft sigh and walked across the room to sit on the edge of the cot. “Thank you, I could use something.” I gave in. What point was there in resisting kindness when it was in such short supply?
Iyavi jumped to bring me food and water, and soon enough I was eating, and we talked about inane and pointless things. We didn’t speak of loss or death, or the things that could be seen in the shifting halls of the school. Afterwards Iyavi looked at my wounds, damage from digging a hole with my bare hands, and helped clean and dress them, though they were already healing on their own. My Will would see to them well enough, but there was something to be said for trained hands helping things along.
I fell into a comfortable, safe place for a few moments, and before I knew it I was unclothed and in bed with Iyavi tucked in next to me in the cot. I wasn’t even certain how things had gone so far so quickly, or what any of it meant. It barely seemed real at all, and when I woke the next day she was gone. I had to question whether any of it had really happened. If she had been there, she’d taken all evidence with her when she left. All evidence, that was, but the wrappings on my hands.
I unwound them to see uninjured skin that bore a slight pink tinge where my fingers had been torn before. A small part of me wished Iyavi had stayed a little longer. I didn’t feel for her the way I had for Zarkov, or the way I did for Dreea, but what we’d done had been nice, and having a friend close had felt good. Happiness, however, was transient. I would have a fond memory to take forward and that would have to be enough.
I got up and dressed, pulling on the new uniform I had, though I tossed the fresh cloak aside in favor of Ghoul’s. The familiar weight around my shoulders was comforting. I would have a busy day ahead, and it would culminate in the awakening of Ori. That was an ever pressing weight at the back of my mind. I had to keep focused and keep moving forward.
The day burned by quickly. Korva and I patrolled the doorways of the Forge and talked about the plans the King was putting into motion. He’d already left. He’d traveled out through a door early that morning and was on a quest to put things in place that needed to be done before the passage to Everburn could be opened. It would take time. The flame had been well hidden apparently, trapped in a place, a moment, that was difficult to reach. It was almost impossible to reach, really, but the King could do it, and a few of the elder Wardens knew the way. It would take days.
I was somewhat relieved to find this out. We had days left before things grew worse. I wanted to believe I would think of some solution before our time was out, but I didn't know where to begin. The King’s Will was beyond me, and just about every Warden was supporting him. I couldn’t hope to stop them all. I was one person, with one Will, and I couldn’t hope to deny the greater Will of all the other Wardens. Without allies, I was lost.
I was still struggling with this when the dinner bell came around. I’d started off for Ghoul’s place early, eager to be there by the time the last bell rang. I hoped to speak with him on the matters that were troubling me. I knew where he stood on things, and he wasn’t afraid. He might have lived beneath the Will of the King, but Ghoul seemed to fear very little. His moral compass didn’t always point true, but he was at least an unjudging ear to hear my concerns. I wished I’d taken more consideration for that over the years. He certainly didn’t make it easy to get along with him.
When I reached his cabin I was surprised to see that his guards were gone. Surprise was immediately followed by relief. I didn't like being seen coming and going from here. My relationship with Ghoul still felt like a private thing, a secret we kept to protect us both. I prefered if we could keep it that way for a bit longer, though I had no doubt that it would get more and more difficult the longer we were trapped in Forge.
I knocked on the door to the cabin before entering, and Ghoul’s voice answered from the other side quite quickly. “It’s open, Lillin. Come in.”
I did, and found the room to be quite a mess. It had been disorganized the day before, but now it was a disaster in progress. Ghoul had clearly been working hard since I’d left. I wasn’t even certain he’d slept. He turned to offer me a crooked grin as I came through the door.
“Good, you’re right on time. I was worried you’d be late. Time is an issue. The guards will be back before too long. It’s not easy to get a few moments without them anymore. I don’t like their eyes always on my work.” He sighed. “Such are the costs of working for the Iron Will.” Then he gave one of his mad laughs.
“Are things ready?” I asked, walking over to look at Ori. The armor looked much as it had the day before. I couldn’t really see any differences, but there were tools all over the surrounding area. Clearly he’d been doing something.
“They are!” He proclaimed, turning to me quickly. “Minutes ago. I finished only minutes ago, Lillin. It was very difficult, but we are ready. Everything is as perfect as I can get it. You’re here too, which is important. She’ll need you when she wakes up.”
“I hope you’re right about that. I’m not as certain that she’ll be happy to see me.” I answered.
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�Oh no, she won’t be happy to see anything for a bit, but it will be good for her to have a friend here. You need to comfort her, let her know that things will get better. Things will get better.” He emphasized that second word. “Time is the one ingredient we can’t push. It passes as it Wills.”
He walked around the table, looking down at his work with a small, confident smile. “This is it. This is what I should have made to begin with, something to bring a lost comrade back, not something to chain one to existence. This is what my work was meant to be. I can see that now, but it was so covered in darkness before.” He shook his head before looking up at me. “Are you ready?”
I took a deep breath of my own. I was nervous, worried what Ori might do when she came back, but I was as ready as I could make myself. “I am.” I answered firmly. “Whatever may come of this, I am ready.”
“Good!” He said enthusiastically. “Very good, let’s begin.”
“What should I do?” I asked, uncertain what my role was during the awakening.
“Just wait for her. I imagine you’ll know.” He said, and then he put his hands on the armor. There was an intricate pattern etched into one side of the helm, and another over the heart, and he put a hand on each of these. “Wait for it.” He said softly. “Wait.”