Kingdom of Lies

by Debra Dunbar

  “I don’t even know if it’s him.” Wyatt strolled in and sat down at my dining room table, flipping the laptop open. “There’s a hostage situation at the British Museum.”

  The British Museum? Why would any demon want to take up residence there? Beyond an empty sarcophagus, there wasn’t anywhere decent to sleep. Plus I got lost every time I went there. I think Graceland would have been a better choice.

  “Has he demanded the angels vacate? Has he made any grandiose statements about how the whole world is his?”

  Wyatt shook his head. “I can’t access the details of the hostage negotiation online, and the British government is trying to keep everything channeled through their press liaison.”

  I looked over his shoulder at the screen. The standoff was pretty impressive with SWAT team members holding shields, police safely behind a line of vehicles. I even saw the big black communication van, just like they had on the crime shows. “Hostages? Any idea how many, or who they are?”

  “Forty. Some tourists and a few museum employees. Reports say there was damage in the museum—fire damage. The press are assuming some kind of bomb. Anyway, that cleared out a bunch of the people. They’re being held by police, I’m assuming both for information and so they don’t leak all the details to the press and screw up the hostage negotiations.”

  I chewed on my lip as Wyatt flipped on some video footage. Should I go? It could be some nutjob making a political statement. Squinting at the video, I tried to decide. Lots of people running and shouting. Windows on the second floor blowing outward with a burst of flame. Hmm, it could go either way.

  Luckily I could be there and back in a flash if this was just a terrorist with a bunch of bombs. “I’ll go check it out.”

  “And I’ll keep monitoring and call you if I see anything else that sticks out.” Wyatt closed the laptop. “This just doesn’t sound right. I didn’t expect a greed demon to seize a museum.”

  “Hey, there’s lots of cool shit in that museum. And with greed demons, it’s hard to know exactly what turns them on. Maybe he’s a big fan of twelfth century embroidery or something.”

  Remembering the last time I faced Avarnak, I figured I’d better take precautions. So I called Gregory. And got his voicemail.

  Odd. The angel had amazing cell service anywhere on the planet. He could be two miles underground, and he’d still be getting calls. The only place he didn’t get reception was in

  Aaru, and he was rarely there after handing the reins over to Gabriel. I left a message and wondered whether I should wait or not. The thought of another confrontation with the greed demon had me feeling rather ill, but who knows how long Gregory would be in Aaru, or wherever the fuck he was. Who knows how many people could die if I waited.

  “Hey, Nyalla!” I shouted up the stairs. “I’m going to pop over to London, just in case the dude holed up in the British Museum is Avarnak.”

  I heard footsteps pounding, and Nyalla appeared, long blond hair whirling as she leaned over the stair railing. “Can I come?”

  Absolutely not. “I really need you to stay here in case Gregory doesn’t check his messages. Can you keep trying him and let him know where I am if he shows up?”

  Her face fell. “Are you sure I can’t come?”

  Yes, I was sure. “Nyalla, this demon killed an ancient. He impaled me and trapped me in a cage of obsidian. Honestly, I don’t want to go, at least not without Gregory.”

  She sighed. “Just make sure you call me and let me know you’re okay?”

  “Deal.”

  Chapter 28

  The scene outside the British Museum looked pretty much like the video on Wyatt’s laptop, only with more smoke. No one seemed particularly alarmed that a woman appeared from nowhere right next to the SWAT team guys. It was a bit insulting, although the periodic bursts of flames coming from the broken museum windows were a scene-stealer.

  “So, what’s he want?” I asked the guy next to me. At least, I think he was a guy. It was kind of hard to tell gender with those big helmets on.

  That got their attention. About twenty muscled arms grabbed me and hauled me backwards across the blockade of vehicles. “No. Seriously, I’m here to help. Guys, I’m more liable to survive a one-on-one with this guy than the whole bunch of you with your suits and guns.”

  There was a whole lot of shouting at me. I couldn’t make out much of it, but from what I could tell, they were questioning the sanity and intelligence of American women and threatening me with some unspecified harm if I didn’t stay back.

  I hated to do this, especially since it meant I’d need to deal with the guy inside even if he wasn’t Avarnak, but the SWAT team wasn’t giving me much choice.

  My wings appeared, unfurling to their full length and knocking three heavily armed individuals flat on their back in the process. It didn’t have the effect I’d desired. When Gregory got all angel on humans, they fell to their knees in worshipful admiration. When I did it, they pointed weapons at me and told me to keep my hands where they could see them.

  Idiots. There was a lot of death and destruction I could lay down, even with my hands in the air. Even so, I complied. The prospect of trying to muscle my way into the museum while being punched full of bullet holes wasn’t appealing.

  “I’m an angel. See? Wings? I’m here to help you.”

  They didn’t seem to believe me, but before I found myself tossed out on my wings, one of the SWAT guys clapped a hand to his ear and responded to an invisible communication.

  “Come with me.”

  It was a more palatable command than the ones they’d been shouting previously, so I went with the guy, even though he was leading me away from the museum. I was ushered into the giant black van, which held an amazing array of electronic gizmos, two law enforcement individuals, some random nerd, and a priest. Or maybe he was a pastor. I can never tell the difference.

  “It’s about time you got here,” the priest snapped. Then he got a good look at me. “You don’t look like an angel. And why are your wings black?”

  “I get that a lot,” I told him. “I’m an Angel of Chaos.”

  That drew a blank stare from everyone. Nobody said anything further, so after a few moments I decided to speak up. “So what’s this guy want? What are his demands?”

  Police Woman cleared her throat. “He says that we are to recognize his claim on the museum and all of the contents, and that any attempts to enter or seize anything that belongs to him will result in our deaths.”

  Yep, Avarnak, and he’d completely gone off the deep end. But it was always best to make sure. “Any political statements? Any progress on getting the hostages released?”

  “No political statements of any kind.” Police Woman swallowed a few times. “He says we can’t have the hostages back because he’s going to eat them.”

  Ew. What the fuck had happened in Avarnak’s greedy little brain? Yeah, we all ate the occasional human, but not forty of them. It’s not like they tasted particularly good or anything.

  “What are you going to do?” Random Woman asked.

  Wait for angelic backup? Another burst of flames shot from an upper window, and everyone in the van cringed. What the fuck was he doing? Setting off explosives or lighting the gift shop on fire?

  “I’m going to go in there and kick some demon ass,” I said with as much action-hero confidence as I could muster. Nobody seemed very convinced, especially the priest, who eyed my wings skeptically.

  “Can you do it without further damaging any of the priceless artifacts?” Suddenly Random Woman’s presence made sense. She must be a high-level museum employee.

  “I’ll do my best,” I lied then strode out the sliding door of the van and marched across the expanse of pavement to the museum.

  Fuck, there were a ton of stairs to this thing, and I was very much aware that I was highly visible to Avarnak as well as all the onlookers. Maybe I could stall. Schmooze with the demon a bit, maybe have a bite to eat at the museum restaurant.
Hopefully by the time we were done, Gregory would be here with a posse of angels at his back.

  I opened the door, walked three steps, and was engulfed in flames. I went to yell at the demon, but lost the ability of speech as soon as the fire seared my lungs. Same with ears and eyes. Living inside a dead, charred body wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world, and I got the idea the fire wasn’t going to let up enough for me to either recreate my body or manifest some sort of flame-retardant form. Deciding that retreat was my best option, I backed out of the museum and walked my smoking, burning self down the steps before recreating a non-incinerated human form.

  Which left me approaching the line of SWAT officers, completely naked, with big black wings. They stared, silent as I walked by and entered the van. There was a whole lot of staring going on inside the van too.

  “Hey.” I pointed at Random Woman. “Is there a back entrance or some way I can sneak in?”

  Avarnak had either set up residence in the front foyer, or he had it rigged with a flamethrower. If I was going to get close enough to the demon to take him down, or at least say five words to him before he barbequed me again, I was going to need to find an employees-only entrance.

  Her eyes grew big, then traveled down my figure only to jerk back up to my face. “Yes. Yes, there are several back and side entrances. There’s a key-card swipe, then a code to get in.”

  “All right. Let’s go.”

  More staring.

  “We can’t allow a civilian to approach the building until it’s cleared,” Police Woman said. “She can give you her key card and code, and you can let yourself in.”

  That would work. I contemplated sneaking in the back door versus flying to the roof and going in that way. Burning was a whole lot more survivable when it happened on the ground as opposed to plunging like a phoenix from the air. I looped the key-card strap over my head and shifted so it nestled between my boobs.

  “Four, nine, eight, two, three,” Random Woman told me. “Around the left side there’s a service entrance. Can’t miss it.”

  Which meant Avarnak probably couldn’t have missed it either. Steeling myself for the possibility of another wall of flame, I exited the van and did my naked-woman-with-wings version of a sneak-around. I’m sure I had lost whatever badass factor I’d had earlier, wings or not. Especially with that priest. Bet he was regretting he hadn’t been a little more specific in his prayers.

  There was a lovely sidewalk around the side of the museum. Hedges, ivy, and a driveway that looped around and ended at a solid metal door. I uprooted one of the smaller hedges, opened the door and threw the hedge in. Nothing happened, so I edged my way through the doorway, easing the door shut behind me. Everything remained a reasonable temperature, so I kept going. And promptly got lost. I wish I’d asked Random Woman for a tri-fold map of the museum before I left the van.

  Chinese ceramics. So not my thing. More ceramics, this time Korean and thankfully interspersed with tapestries and wooden boxes. I found a set of stairs and climbed to the main floor, finding myself in a long room filled with vases, dolls, and tons of other miscellaneous stuff. I know I’d told Wyatt there were cool things in this museum, but they seemed to have moved it all out and replaced it with thousand-year-old garage sale cast-offs. Why would a greed demon want this crap?

  Then I saw a sign for an exhibit that a greed demon would be interested in—money. Careful to make as little noise as possible, I tiptoed through the labyrinth of corridors and exhibits, There were smashed cases with items missing. The money exhibit was ransacked. Any precious-metal items were missing; the only things left behind were weird ancient currencies, like beads on a string and little clay tablets. Oh, and paper money, which was kind of weird. I would have taken those. They would have fetched a fortune on eBay.

  “Come out little imp. I smell you lurking around corners and down hallways.”

  The voice boomed, echoing through the exhibit room. Instinctively, I ducked behind one of the few intact displays and hid my wings. No sense in getting them skewered.

  “I’ll come out if you promise not to burn me to a crispy again.”

  He laughed. “No promises. I am intrigued to know what brings you here, though. Are you looking to steal my treasure?”

  “Avarnak, I don’t want your crappy stuff.” Well, not all of it, I thought, remembering the gem I had left in Nyalla’s care.

  The ground shuddered as heavy footsteps came my way. An enormous head ducked through the doorway of the exhibit room, and I gaped.

  “Who’s Avarnak?”

  Oh, snap. The being edging his way into the room wasn’t a demon, it was a shiny gold dragon. And, wow, was he a beauty. I stood, risking incineration so I could admire the spikes of red gold jutting across the top of his head, the craters of his textured skin, the nostrils that flared and exhaled a faint curl of smoke. His slitted eyes were deep green, and lids flicked closed from top and bottom each time he blinked.

  “My bad. I thought you were someone else. The humans never told me a dragon laid claim to the museum.”

  The dragon tilted his magnificent head and eyed me with amusement. “Who is this Avarnak that you believed me to be?”

  “A greed demon. He’s been a bit of a dick lately.” I watched as the dragon nodded, smoke curling lazily around him. I was here, and even though I really didn’t want to fight a dragon, the humans outside had some expectation that I was going to at least resolve the hostage situation. “I get that you’ve made this your home base, but can you at least let the humans go? I can make arrangements to bring in some cattle or pigs for you to eat instead.”

  The dragon ignored my question and extended his snout toward me, sniffing as if I were a curious insect he wanted to examine before dissecting it. “Things have truly changed here if little demon imps have earned their wings. Did you repent? Have the angelic host welcomed demons back into their fold?”

  I didn’t care which direction the conversation went as long as it went. If the dragon didn’t want to negotiate, fine. I’d be happy to just chat with him until Gregory managed to arrive and take over.

  Hurry up, angel, before he rips off my wings to observe them in greater detail.

  “No, the demons are still in Hel. I’m the only Angel of Chaos. It’s a long story, full of violence, romance, romantic violence.”

  The dragon did the reptile equivalent of placing his chin in his palm. “I am greatly interested in hearing such a story. Please continue.”

  Maybe I could get him some hot cocoa and sneak the humans out while he slept? Or the equivalent. “I’d be happy to tell you the story, but first I need to speak with you about releasing the hostages and the museum back into human custody. I can offer an equitable exchange for both.”

  The dragon frowned, causing me to take a step backward. “It’s mine. It’s all mine, and I don’t want an exchange, no matter how equitable.”

  Hmm, greed demons and dragons had a lot in common. “Let’s just discuss possibilities. I don’t want to piss you off or anything, but the angels take matters here to heart. One of your brethren was killed in Prague earlier, and I can’t guarantee that a bunch of those winged assholes won’t show up here to kill you too.”

  He snarled, and flames burst from his mouth, engulfing the paper money. Damn. I was hoping to pocket some of that to take home.

  “I am not afraid of angels. I am a dragon, an ancient being of power and cunning. I will defeat all who would steal that which is mine.”

  “I’m sure you will prevail, but in the battle, how much of your treasure will be destroyed or stolen? And angels are persistent. They’ll hound you for thousands of years. How fun will that be, constantly guarding your treasure and wondering when the next attack will occur?”

  I could see him considering my words, even as agitated as he was. “I can help. I’m the Iblis, a member of the Ruling Council in Aaru. I can mediate on your behalf.”

  “ You’re the Iblis? An imp is the Iblis?”

  �
��Yeah, I know. Wanna see my sword?”

  For the second time that day, someone actually took me up on that offer. “Yes, I would like to confirm your standing among the angels.”

  I summoned the ceremonial weapon and held it aloft. When the dragon nodded his satisfaction, I sent it away. The sword, in any of its forms, might be useful if things got physical with this dragon, but I was afraid that by continuing to display it, I would be committing a breach of etiquette. And I got the feeling it was very important for me to be considered an impartial mediator.

  “What do you propose, imp?” The dragon blew a puff of smoke at me, but I sensed he was a lot more interested in negotiation than he’d been up until this point.

  “Of course the angels will request you abandon all the items you have seized, including the humans, and return peacefully to your home world. I’ve heard your stance on the matter. I’d like you, as a good faith gesture, to propose a compromise that would be acceptable to you.”

  He huffed, and I held my breath, wondering if more money was going to burn. “I’m willing to give up the dead people inside this museum as well as the broken building and statuary pieces.”

  Mummies and the Elgin Marbles as well as the Assyrian and other ancient sculptures. Random Woman would be pleased, but there was something the angels would value more than human artifacts. “You’ll probably need to throw in the humans you’re holding. You can always request a substitute food source.”

  The dragon eyed me again. “What do you suggest? I know you mentioned cows and pigs, but I have particular tastes. Humans are quite the delicacy.”

  No, they weren’t. Trust me, I’d eaten them.

  “I’m a fan of hot wings and pizza. And there’s always emu or bison if you’re going more of the hipster route.” I wracked my brain, wondering what I could offer that would appeal to a dragon. Then I remembered a joke I once heard.

  “Spam. It tastes just like human without all the chasing around and screaming. It doesn’t stink when you bite it either. Comes in handy-dandy little cans. I could even arrange for regular deliveries.”