by Annie O'Neil
“This is a surprise.”
“A nice one, I hope.” Her lashes dropped, hiding her expressive eyes, a light pink flush playing along the curves of her cheekbones. Strewth. She was about as beautiful as you could get.
“What are you doing here?” Open mouth, insert enormous boot.
“I thought I’d see what the CFS was about—but if you’d rather...”
She wasn’t flushing with pleasure anymore.
“It’s not really the best—”
“You’re right,” she hurriedly backpedaled. “I shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea.”
“No. It’s not that. The guys are loving it.” He shot a glance over her shoulder then lowered his voice. “Look, I’m sorry about last night—”
“Oh. I see.” Her voice was level but were her cheeks flushing a deeper red? Liesel moved as if to turn away.
“Not the...before. The after.” This was not going well. C’mon, Jack. Man up! “This isn’t really the best place for you to be right now.”
If he could wipe the hurt from her eyes he would, but he had to get her out of there and clear his head. His gut churned with an overwhelming need to keep Liesel as far away from all of this as possible—the dirt, ash, smoke, fire. As strongly as he’d hoped to get her involved in the station, he now felt a more powerful drive to ensure she was as far away as possible. The thought of putting her in harm’s way, of coming into contact with the danger that automatically came with the job, his job? No. Not a chance. He didn’t think he could bear it if anything happened to her.
Was this how his father felt every time he heard the sirens? How he’d felt after he’d lost his wife? Powerless? Well, Jack had the power and the position to say no. No to all of it. Even if it did feel like stopping one of the best things that had come into his life.
He shot a look at the volunteers, all hard workers who could do with even more support. Liesel was the answer to a professional prayer. But her presence tore at his focus. Not professional.
Lack of focus cost lives.
Lack of focus meant the station would close, endangering the lives and homes of a lot of locals. After losing his mother because there hadn’t been enough hands on deck, there was no chance he’d see that happen again. See someone go through the grief his family had endured. His father in particular.
He had to make a choice.
“You have always been an either-or fellow, haven’t you, Jack?”
His father’s voice rang in his head. A persistent chiseling away at his ability to make the right decision.
He felt as if his heart was being ripped in half.
“Sorry, Liesel, I’ve got to run.”
* * *
Liesel inhaled sharply as if all the air had been sucked out of her. She stood stock-still, staring out into the dining hall at the receding back of Jack Keller, certain she looked little short of a first-class idiot.
What had just happened? She couldn’t have misread his signals. Could she?
Suddenly feeling acutely aware of the glances being thrown her way, she wondered what she must look like to all of them. A fire station groupie hoping to bring a smile to the lips of the big hunky firemen? Well, fireman. And from the way Jack just spoke to her, she’d just been summarily dismissed.
Talk about humiliating! Were there boundaries she was supposed to have known about? Was she supposed to be a secret? The idea made her feel sick.
She watched dumbly as he threw a quick glance over his shoulder and without so much as a smile grabbed a cold drink from the dining hall and left the room.
Liesel felt her cheeks flame up, not with embarrassment this time but anger.
How dare he treat her like that? How dare he?
She hadn’t been the one popping round with chocolate milk shakes, suggesting spontaneous picnics, pushing her to her professional limits and back again. She hadn’t been the one pulling him into her arms and giving her just about the most perfect set of kisses and knee-weakening caresses she could have ever imagined. How dare he dismiss her like this?
Liesel curtly turned her back on the dining room and surveyed the kitchen. It looked as if the breakfast fairy had exploded in there.
Fine.
If he didn’t want her around, it jolly well wouldn’t look as if she’d been anywhere near his precious fire station. Just like a fireman to blow hot and cold. The irony would’ve made her laugh if she hadn’t been so cross. The counter began to appear in moments. Then gleamed. The cupboards? Scrubbed inside and out.
Despite her Herculean efforts, scrubbing Mr. Tall-Blond-and-Way-Too-Handsome out of the kitchen was proving hard. Far too hard. Little thoughts niggled away in her mind. None of Jack’s behavior that morning rang true with the man she’d been spending time with. It was well and truly out of character. Or was it? What did she really know about Brigade Captain Jack Keller? She could just howl with fury! It wasn’t as if she was falling for the guy or something.
Oh.
Wait a minute.
Was she falling for him?
Hardly. He couldn’t have made that much of an impact with his perfectly winning personality, supersexy kisses and too-good-to-be-true good looks. She scrubbed at the long-neglected corners of the refrigerator, certain that steam was pouring out of her ears. The nerve of that man!
She had finally thought she was taking massive strides forward. Finally feeling brave enough to move forward with her and Liam’s lives—moving out of the fragile eggshell existence they’d been living. It really was a good thing she couldn’t scream in here because she was building up to a proper old-fashioned tizzy.
How dare he treat her as if she was some sort of lovesick puppy, desperate for his attention? Lovesick puppy. There it was again. This wasn’t looking good.
“Wow, you can do mine next if you like!”
Cassie’s voice was a welcome extinguisher to her overheated thoughts.
“Oh, what happened to you? Jack not show up for your big breakfast bonanza? Or did he hate your cooking?”
Liesel knew it was meant to be a joke but it didn’t feel anywhere close to being funny. She sat back on her heels, trying to slow her thoughts to a lower gear before responding to Cassie. From the looks of things her friend was already reading her like a well-thumbed book.
“Here’s someone who can cheer you up!” Cassie swung Liam’s car seat into view, complete with her son, the most committed nap-taker in the southern hemisphere. She felt her body soften, the anger slip away.
“Ohh, it’s Liam the Super-Sleeper!” she stage-whispered, before nuzzling her face against the crook of his neck. He smelled like a new beginning. This little guy was the light of her life. He was who she was living for, fighting her demons for. And she couldn’t let herself forget that. Not for a second.
“Li-e-se-e-l...” Her friend drew out her name as if it had several syllables. “What’s going on?”
“It appears the bushfire wasn’t the only fire that was put out last night.” Liesel threw a crinkly browed glance in the direction of the dining room.
Cassie lowered herself to the floor alongside Liesel and Liam.
“Spill it.”
“C’mon, let’s get out of here!” Liesel grabbed her friend’s hand. “I’ve got a better idea.”
* * *
Jack hit the empty country road, his feet taking full-length strides, temples throbbing with a grade-A headache and thoughts running at full speed. He knew he should be trying to catch up on his sleep but he had to physically work the stresses out of his system.
He couldn’t believe he’d just blown Liesel off like a casual fling—and the moment he’d left the station he’d known she meant more to him than that. A lot more.
Up until now it had been easy—too easy—to keep women at arm’s length. Throughout
his teens he’d never trusted anyone because he’d never known if they’d liked him or if they’d liked John Granville Keller III, heir apparent to River’s Bend Winery. As he refocused his energies into making something of himself at the CFS, relationships were the last thing on his mind. Making good on his silent vow to his mother was key to ensure more people didn’t die because there wasn’t a fire service.
Not that his decision had helped things with his father. Far from it. Granville Sr. had been a changed man after his wife had died. Utterly grief-stricken at the loss of his true love. Jack hadn’t understood it at the time, but he was getting a firsthand glimpse into what it was like to lose someone you cared for. The look on Liesel’s face after he’d made it clear she wasn’t welcome? Awful. It was as close as anything had come to the moment Jack had told his father he’d chosen the CFS over the winery. His father had taken his decision to leave as a full-frontal blow to the legacy his son was meant to have accepted like a golden mantle.
Jack kicked up his speed.
Why couldn’t things be easy? When he’d been in Adelaide, he’d been driven—as though his divided energies had finally found a home base. He had been right to have chosen the CFS over running the winery. Becca was amazing at steering River’s Bend into the future while he, on the other hand, had been born to fight fires. And then along had come Liesel. Delicate and strong, cream-skinned and flame-haired Liesel, forcing him to confront his either-or existence. He’d made a choice that morning and it didn’t feel right.
He forced himself to sprint, enjoying feeling his lungs strain, his legs burn, his arms pump against the warm spring air. When he couldn’t take it anymore he stopped, hands falling to his knees so he could catch his breath. When he looked up he started with surprise at seeing where his body had automatically taken him: River’s Bend.
Home was where the heart was? There was definitely something to that. Until he fixed things on this front, he didn’t know how much good he’d be as a boyfriend to Liesel. Boyfriend? Yeah, right. He choked out a laugh. As if she’d let him anywhere near her after his performance that morning. Looked as if his habit of burning bridges was getting even better.
* * *
It was the most extraordinary feeling. Being in the hospital. Just wandering the halls was like visiting an old friend.
Liesel had left Liam and Cassie chatting away with a very animated Kevin showing a newfound confidence now that he had a top-of-the-range personal injury story.
She had to smile as he told his mother and the new shift nurse about how all the doctors had deemed his the “coolest pneumothorax” solution they’d ever seen.
Now, strolling the corridors, she could hear snippets of conversation floating from patient rooms, drifting above the high desks of the nurses’ stations, snapping rapid-fire from doctor to doctor. All the talk, the hospital banter, had once filled her up like high-octane fuel. It had also been exactly what she’d been avoiding like the plague for the past three years. What had she been so afraid of?
Today it felt like a dose of the perfect medicine. The simple truth was the hospital was familiar terrain and had never failed to assure her she had chosen the right profession. There were so many people to help and to care for—and she knew she was good at it. Working at the school was great, but the electric atmosphere of an emergency department had always been more her style.
Maybe this would be a better place to start putting her fears behind her. A hospital was every bit as much of a community as a fire station. She’d even seen the notice boards filled to the brim with Harvest Festival notices, film nights, exercise classes, all sorts—all promises of things to come once the patients had healed.
All those things were out there for her, too. But had she healed?
Realistically, things wouldn’t—couldn’t—work with Jack. Her main priority was her son and Jack’s was the station. He obviously wanted to compartmentalize things in his life—and that was the last thing she wanted. At the very least, she should just enjoy the fact that a deeply gorgeous man had found her attractive enough to pursue—at least for a little while. Despite everything, the grief, the rebuilding, today’s supersize disaster, she was still a woman. A desirable one. Which was a good feeling. And if she was going to try to lavish everything with icing, Jack had helped rekindle her passion for medicine. So maybe...
She took a big breath and pushed through the double doors into the ED waiting room. She eagle-eyed a corner seat that would be perfect for surreptitiously watching the action. She glanced at the wall clock. Fifteen minutes. She’d give herself fifteen minutes.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“EXCUSE ME, MISS?”
Liesel didn’t have to turn around to identify the young male voice.
“What is it?” She swung around to face Kevin, thankful that she’d bitten back the this time she had been going to tease the teenager with. “Wow! Look at you!”
It was probably the first time she’d seen Kevin look shy. And clean-cut. And a part of her felt like begging him to change back to the ragamuffin kid who was in her nurse’s office a bit too frequently.
“What do you think of my new threads?” Kevin put on a pose as Liesel took in his immaculate new Country Fire Service Cadets uniform.
“I think you look fantastic!” She didn’t have to like the uniform, did she? It seemed ridiculous to admit, but complimenting the uniform was just a bit too close to complimenting a certain Captain Jack Keller. Or Captain Persona Non Grata, as she liked to think of him these days.
“I hate to be a party pooper—but has your doctor approved this?”
“He already said I have to wait to do the ladder training.”
When had Kev seen Jack? She’d seen neither hide nor hair of him for five days. Not that she was going to admit to anyone she was missing him. At least her house had benefited. It was sparkling clean. If she could have spring-cleaned her own son, she would have.
As if reading her thoughts, Kevin continued, “Jack came to see me at the hospital after work. He said he’s been really busy and would like it if I could be his second in command. You know, in charge of the clipboard, checking all the cadets in and out, that sort of thing, until I’m ready to begin training. Be, you know, like a manager.”
Oh. So Jack had thought of everything. And Kevin looked so very proud. The first time she’d seen him this confident in ages.
“So what can I help you with, mate?”
“Mum says would it be all right if you took me to cadets this evening, please? She’s got parent-teacher conferences tonight and has to prepare.”
“Oh, did she, now?” Liesel raised a suspicious eyebrow.
“Yeah.” Kevin looked back at her blankly. He obviously didn’t see the thoughts whirling round her head at turbo speed or know his mother’s fine-tuned ability for setting Liesel up on dates she had no interest in going on. And on the day a seven-year-old had vomited all over her top. Perfect.
“She didn’t say anything else?” There had to be more to this than met the eye.
“I don’t think so,” Kev replied hesitantly, already accustomed to his teenage brain letting him down in the messenger department. His eyes shot up to the ceiling, as if that would help, then returned to Liesel. He gave her a small I don’t know what you’re talking about shrug.
Typical teenager.
Why didn’t you tap your mother for the real reason behind this trip?
Five ludicrously long days had passed since that ridiculous morning in the fire station and not a peep from Mr. Hot-and-Not-So-Nice. Guess it was time to start up more tutorials at the school of hard knocks.
She tried unsuccessfully to shake away the sensation of being in Jack’s arms.
How could she? Kissing him had made her feel incredibly, beautifully, wonderfully alive.
And had she heard anything from him?
/> Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
She’d recapped the morning at the station again and again as the hours had turned into days. Jack didn’t seem the type of man to kiss and run, but, for all she knew, he could have disappeared off the end of the earth and she’d be none the wiser.
Cassie had tried playing Twenty Questions with her—or more like Twenty Excuses of Captain Keller.
“Fire season’s kicking into full throttle.”
“The man has a phone.”
“So do you.”
“He blew me off when he last saw me.”
“Is that what really happened or is that what you think happened?”
“I’m a girl—I know these things.”
“Are you still in high school?”
“Doesn’t matter how old you are, a blow-off is a blow-off.” Then she had stuck her tongue out at Cassie. It had seemed the right thing to do.
“He’s very busy recruiting for the station.” Cassie had returned the gesture.
“And he suddenly doesn’t need nurses anymore?”
“Yeah, because you were chomping at the bit to take him up on that offer!”
Good point.
Liesel had tried out some of her own.
“He doesn’t want a premade family.”
“Don’t be stupid. You said he had an amazing time with Liam.”
“He made a mistake and thinks I’m ugly.”
“As I said, don’t be stupid. Look in the mirror!”
“He’s just not interested.”
And Cassie hadn’t had anything to say to that. How could she? It wasn’t as if either of them had a hotline to Jack and his thought processes.
Served her right. She knew falling for—no, not falling for, just having a crush on...or whatever it was—a guy in the fire service was definitely not for her, and Jack Keller was in the fire service, so out of sight...out of mind?
She felt the wind fall out of her self-righteous sails—he was definitely not out of mind.
“Are you all right, miss?” Kev’s voice snapped her out of her reverie.