by Jessie Cooke
Axel came around his desk and sat on the edge of it. He leaned forward so that he was almost right in my face and said, “You’re fucking her Blake. That does not make you her friend. That makes you her fuck buddy.”
“That’s enough Axel. You can treat me like I’m an idiot if you want. I really don’t care, but don’t talk about Bailey that way.”
“Shit! You’ve already got it bad for her don’t you? Kid you are in the wrong business if you still believe in happily ever after. Bailey Clark…AKA Bella Bailey Persico is a certified nut-case.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“She’s a nut. She’s a bipolar, maybe a schizophrenic too for all I know. Her fucking father promised me he would make sure she took her meds if I agreed to sign her. You want to know any more than that you’ll have to ask her. This is what I get for trying to be nice.” Axel was pulling at his beard. He did that when he was pissed. I was afraid for Bailey. If she was in a bad place, I doubt that Axel would make it any better. I also knew that nothing about this was him being nice. If what he says is true and Bailey does have a mental illness, neither her father nor Axel has her best interest at heart, pushing her into a business like this. “How can I get in touch with her father?”
Axel’s eyes widened. “Boy, you leave on tour in three weeks. Not only do you not have the time to get involved in this mess, you have no idea what you’re even getting involved in. Go home and write some more songs. You’re gonna need them if I can’t find someone to join you on this tour at the last minute.”
“You’re just going to replace her? Just like that?”
“Jesus kid! You’re killing me. She had some kind of a breakdown this morning. It’s all over the news already. It will be in every paper across the world tomorrow, so hell yes, I’m replacing her. I’ve got way too much to lose here.”
And that was the bottom line…what Axel had to lose. “Just tell me how to get in touch with her father…please.”
Axel shook his head at me but he reached for a notepad on his desk. He wrote down a number and tossed it at me. “You’ve only got three weeks.”
“And as far as I understood those three weeks were my time. You can’t tell me what to do with it…or Bailey.”
“You better be ready.”
“I’ll be ready and so will Bailey.”
“I told you I’m replacing her.”
“Then replace me too because unless she tells me she doesn’t want to go, I ain’t going without her.” I got up and left. I heard him kick the desk behind me. I had a feeling Axel was in this thing with Bailey’s dad a lot deeper than he’d like anyone to suspect. That wasn’t my problem though. I needed to find Bailey and make sure that she’s okay. Everyone else was way too worried about their own agenda. When I got outside I took out my phone and called the number Axel gave me.
“Yes?”
“Mr. Persico?”
“Who is this?”
“Blake Daniels.”
“Who?”
“Bailey’s friend…the cowboy.”
“Fuck, okay. What?” These people all had such a way with words.
“I was wondering if you know where I can find Bailey.”
“She’s not taking visitors right now.”
“Mr. Persico, I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“She’s fine.”
“I was there this morning…she was not fine. She nearly ran me over in the parking lot.”
“I’m sorry about that. She’s fine now.”
“Mr. Persico, please…”
“She’ll contact you when she’s up to it, Blake. Thank you for calling.” He disconnected the call. Jesus these people are exasperating. I was about to tuck the phone back in my pocket when it rang. I looked at the caller I.D but didn’t recognize the number or the area code.
“Hello?”
“Blake…”
“Bailey? Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in Kentucky…I think.”
“Kentucky? What the hell are you doing in Kentucky? I just talked to your father and he said you were fine. He acted like you were there, with him.”
She laughed sadly. “My father is okay with people knowing who he is…but he is terrified of them knowing who I am.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know. I’m sorry. That’s what I called for…to say I’m sorry.”
“Bailey please tell me exactly where you are. I’ll come and get you.”
“You’re so nice. It would break my heart to pull you into my drama. I just need a break from things. I need a vacation.”
“Okay, then let’s go on vacation. We have three weeks. Where do you want to go?”
“Blake…”
“Come on Bailey. You have all of these people pulling you in different directions. I have no agenda. I don’t want anything from you. All I want is to be your friend and help you if I can. Please let me.”
“I’m at the airport. Daddy froze my credit cards and Kentucky was as far as I could get on the cash I had. I don’t even have access to my own money. I ditched my phone too. I’m borrowing some old lady’s phone.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll fly or take the train or something, but Bailey please promise me that you’ll wait there.”
“I’ll be here, as long as Daddy’s men don’t show up and scoop me up. I’m sure at the very least, they’re on their way.”
“Keep a low profile. Go in the gift shop and buy a hat or something. Wear your sunglasses. Lay low until I get there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“They have a Starbucks or something there?”
“There’s a Starbucks, yeah.”
“It’ll probably take me a few hours to get there, but wait for me there okay?”
“Okay.” The fact that she was so agreeable was a bad sign. To me it meant she really was at the end of her rope. She loved to argue like no girl I’d ever met.
“Bailey…”
“What?”
“Everything is going to be okay.” I heard her suck in a breath.
“Thank you, Blake.”
I hung up and called JFK. I bought a ticket to Kentucky off the automated system and then as an afterthought, I bought two tickets to Texas from there. If a vacation is truly what she needs, then I’m going to give it to her…Texas style. My drive to JFK took over an hour. By the time I got there, it was time to check in and begin boarding. I bought a pair of glasses and a hat for myself in the gift shop. As I was walking out, some little kid and his mom were walking by. I heard him say,
“Look at the cowboy, Mama.” His mom looked up. She looked tired. I guess four-year-old boys will do that to you. I saw recognition cross her face and then she smiled, taking years off her face.
“That cowboy sings like an angel, baby.” She winked at me and started to pull the boy away. I was touched that she didn’t want something from me the way fans so often did.
“Ma’am?” She turned back towards me and I took off my Stetson. “I’m not gonna be needing this. Would you mind if I gave it to the boy?”
The little guys face lit up. “Can I have it Mama?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Thank you, Gregory say thank you.”
“Thank you,” the little guy said with his face in his Mama’s leg.
“No problem big guy. Now you’re a cowboy.” I put on my new hat and glasses and when I looked back, the lady gave me a thumbs up sign. She understood.
The flight to Kentucky was just over an hour and a half and by the time I got off the plane it had been over three hours since I talked to Bailey. If she bailed on me at this point I’d just be shit out of luck. I made my way through the terminal and finally found the food court. I looked around for Starbucks. When I found it, I saw her sitting there in a pair of dark glasses with her hair falling out of a “Louisville Bats” hat. I stood there an
d watched her for a minute. She looked like she was talking to herself. I had to ask myself if I could handle this. I never even knew anyone who was mentally ill, much less tried to take care of them. I took the phone back out and called my Mama.
“Hi Ma!”
“Blake! Hi baby! Where are you?”
“I’m in Kentucky Mom…I’m on my way home…”
“Yay! I’ll start cooking us up some dinner right now. Oh, everyone is going to be so excited to see you!”
I smiled. I love my mother. “That’s good Mama…but I have a favor to ask.”
“What is it? You sound so cryptic.”
“Sorry, it’s just that I have this friend…Bailey…”
“The girl that walked off the interview this morning?” I should have known she was watching.
“Yeah, that’s her. Mom she’s sick. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but I know she doesn’t have anyone who seems to really give a damn. She needs a vacation. I want to bring her home with me…but if you don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Of course it’s a good idea. You have such a good heart buddy! You get her here and we’ll take care of her.”
I had tears in my eyes. It probably looked pretty stupid considering how big I am, but I don’t care. “Thanks Mama. We’ll be at the airport in San Antonio in about two and a half hours.”
“I’ll send Beau.”
“I love you, Mama.”
“I love you so much Buddy! Fly safe!”
I felt better when I disconnected the call. My Mom can make anything better and usually without too much effort. I walked over towards Bailey and I was almost right next to her before she stopped talking to herself and looked up. It seemed to take her a minute to realize who I was. When she did, she jumped up and threw herself into my arms.
“You came!”
“Of course I did. I told you I would.”
“People say all sorts of things they don’t mean.”
“I will never say anything to you that I don’t mean, Bailey. I promise.”
She hugged me again. “I’m so sorry. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Shh! You don’t owe me any apologies and you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I do. I made a fool of myself this morning. I was feeling so sick.”
“I know baby, it’s okay.”
“No, you don’t understand. I am sick, Blake. I have Bipolar disorder and I haven’t taken my meds for weeks. God I hate saying that out loud.”
“Come here.” I led her to the table and sat her down. I sat down next to her and said, “If you had cancer would you be embarrassed to admit it?”
“No. But it’s not the same thing.”
“It is the same thing. You can’t help being Bipolar just like people with cancer can’t help that.”
“People don’t look at it the same.”
“My people do,” I told her with a grin. “That’s why I’m taking you to Texas.”
“Texas?”
“Come home with me Bailey. We’ll find you a doctor and get your meds. My Mama will feed us and we can ride horses and take walks down by the river. You need a vacation and so do I.”
She was nodding slowly. “You think Texas is ready for me?”
I laughed and helped her to her feet. Pressing my lips to her forehead I said, “I doubt anyplace is really ready for you, pretty girl…but look out Bandera, here she comes.”
8
Bailey
My mind was like a carousel of random ideas when I woke up, only a subtle awareness of who I am crept in every so often. The thoughts ebbed and flowed, and I lay here in bed, trying to connect them. I remembered flying to Texas with Blake. I remember meeting his brother Beau…he was a big, stocky cowboy looking guy with a tanned face and dark green eyes. He was nice, like Blake and he made me feel welcome. I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t remember getting to the ranch, or meeting his parents….where am I? I pulled my eyes open and I realized that it was still dark. Did I pass out on the way to his house? Did I make a scene? I reached out across the bed and I felt his muscular back.
“Blake?” He rolled over towards me and without saying a word, he scooped me up into his arms. I felt his soft lips brush up against my hairline and I pulled myself into him deeper.
“Hi baby. How do you feel?”
“I think…better. Where are we?”
“We’re at the ranch. You fell asleep in the truck. You had such a long day I couldn’t bear the thought of waking you.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t remember the last time I slept. When I get manic…I forget sometimes.”
“Don’t be sorry. The whole point in coming here was so you could relax.”
“What must your family think of me?”
He kissed my forehead. “My brother thought you were way too pretty to be with me and my Mama just can’t wait for you to wake-up so she can fill you up with all of the stuff she cooked up yesterday.”
“Yesterday? What time is it?”
Blake reached across me and came back with his phone. “It’s almost five a.m.,” he said.
“Wow, I must have slept like twelve hours.”
“Something like that. Bailey…”
“Yeah?”
“I need you to tell me what to do for you. What makes you better?”
I took a deep breath. This was it… “I’m bipolar Blake, I told you that, right?” He nodded and I said, “Do you know what that is?”
“I have a vague idea.”
“I get manic…sometimes I go for almost a week at a time without sleeping. I forget to eat. I don’t take care of myself but I feel like I’m on top of the world. Other times I get depressed. When that happens I don’t get out of bed, I eat too much and I have thoughts of hurting myself. Most of the time when I don’t take my meds, my thoughts are disorganized and they race. The worst part of it all…and the most embarrassing, are the hallucinations.”
“Do you hear voices?”
“Yes. Sometimes there are a lot of them. They talk to each other though, not me. They talk about me and they say derogatory things. I know that I’m sick, Blake. I don’t believe the voices are real. Please don’t think that I’m crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy baby. Where can we get your medicine?”
“I can call my doctor and have them refilled at a pharmacy here. I know that I shouldn’t have stopped taking them…I either get so stressed out that I forget, or I start telling myself that I’m doing so well I don’t need them. Either way, it takes a few weeks every time before I go off the deep end. This time, you caught me before I plunged all the way over…that’s when the real nightmares begin.”
“We’ll get your medicine today and get some good food in you and let you get some rest. Whatever else I can do for you, you let me know.”
“Are we in bed together in your parent’s house?” They’re going to think I’m not only crazy, but a slut as well.
“My parent’s ranch is a working dude ranch. We’re in one of the cabins. We have six cabins that we rent out and there’s a big common room in the house for the guests and a dining room where everyone eats together. My Mama and my sister do all of the cooking and Mama has a couple of girls that help them with the cleaning. My dad and my brothers run the ranch end of things.”
“Brothers? How many do you have?”
“Three. Beau is the oldest and then Josh. Luke is a year older than me and I’m the youngest boy. My sister Samantha is eighteen.”
“I have three brothers too, but no sister.”
“Older or younger?”
“They’re all older.”
“Another thing we both have in common,” he said. I could see his face beginning to take shape as the sun began to rise. I kissed the side of it…and then I made a trail of kisses along his jaw until I reached his lips. I pulled at them with mine and he finally opened his mouth. I slipped my tongue inside and let it explore, gliding it across the roof of his mouth and his
teeth. Then I sucked on his bottom lip and slowly pulled back. He had his eyes closed but when he felt me pull away, he opened them and smiled.
“That was nice,” he said.
“I have more…if you want it.”
He took my hand and pulled it down so that I could feel his cock. It was as hard as a rock. “I always want you, Bailey. But I’m not going to take advantage of you while you’re not feeling well…”
“Don’t fuck the crazy person huh? I have news for you, I was just as crazy that entire couple of weeks you fucked me every day.”
“First of all, don’t call yourself crazy. Second of all, I don’t think you’re crazy. But…you’re not well either. It’s not about not fucking the crazy person; it’s about what you need to feel better.”
“I need you, inside of me, now. That is if it doesn’t repulse you to make love to a cra…a sick woman.”
He looked at me long and hard with those pretty eyes. Sometimes it felt like he could see through me with them. “You take my breath away, Bailey. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman. I just want to make sure that I don’t do anything to hurt you…” I kissed him again, this time with even more passion. He reached over to the nightstand and flipped on the light and then he let his penetrating green eyes roam over every last inch of my body. He’d taken off my clothes when he put me to bed and put one of his t-shirts on me. “Take off your clothes,” he said, suddenly pushing himself up off the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“Take them off.” He wasn’t usually so demanding. He usually let me take charge. It was arousing to me for him to be the one calling the shots. I pulled off the shirt and as I tossed it aside, I felt him at the foot of the bed with the elastic of my panties in his hands. He pulled them off and dropped down to his knees. I felt the warmth of his palms cover my calves as he used them to guide him up my body. He slid upwards until he was straddling my hips. I could feel the fabric of his boxers brushing against the top of my mound. I shuddered as he flexed himself against me allowing me to feel the full brunt of his arousal. Then he bent his head and nipped at my ear. He smells so good, like some kind of spice. That, coupled with the way he feels against me ignites a fire in the pit of my belly and every ugly thought in my head went skittering away all at once. Maybe he was my medication…my drug of choice.