by Jessie Cooke
“Blake!” I looked up to see Luke riding up on his mare Sue. We boys had a thing about giving all of our animals “real” names so they felt more like part of the family.
“Hey!” Luke slid off the horse and we hugged. I hadn’t seen him for over a year. Luke and I are closest in age and growing up, he was my best friend. “How are you?”
“I’m good, but we should talk about that later.”
“Why?”
“Your producer Axel Maxwell is up at the house. He brought some guys with him that look like they should be starring in an episode of the Sopranos. The Italian’s went in to see your girl. Axel’s chatting up Ma and Samantha. Dad, Beau and Josh are out in the back forty. I didn’t know if I should call them or not.”
“Shit! The Italians are probably Bailey’s family here to take her home. But no, don’t call dad. To tell you the truth, I think she’ll be better off at home. I hope Mom doesn’t leave Samantha alone with Axel though.”
Luke and I climbed back on our horses. I know that I was being selfish, but my first thought about her family being here was that it took the pressure off me. I didn’t know if I had the heart to send a sick girl away. This would take it out of my hands.
10
Blake
I took a break from my memories long enough to go up on stage and present the award for “Best New Male Artist.” Mick Jagger was up for this one. I barely knew Mick a year ago. He and Kyle were friends…sort of. I think it was really that Kyle was friends with Mick’s girl and Mick came along as a package deal. When I first met him, I thought he was as crazy as Axel…but he grew on me and as it turns out there were a few times this past year that I wouldn’t have made it without him. I walked up on that big stage and took the envelope from the pretty girl that looked like a Barbie. I stood at the podium and looked out into the audience. The lights were bright so I couldn’t see far…but I saw my beautiful girl in the third row. She blew a kiss at me. I smiled at her and marveled at how differently my life could have been…
That day when Luke and I made it back to the ranch I stopped at the main house first to talk to Axel and find out what was going on before I went to see Bailey. I also wanted to make sure Samantha wasn’t falling for his charms. Axel is a good looking guy and women drop at his feet like flies. I didn’t want my little sister to be one of those women. I found them in the kitchen. Mama was cleaning up the breakfast dishes and Axel and Sammie were sitting at the table. I could see by my sister’s body language…the way she was smiling and tossing her hair…batting her long eyelashes…she was already hooked.
“Axel! What brings you here?”
“There he is.” Axel stood up to shake my hand. Sammie looked disappointed that I came in. “I hate to blind-side you like this, but I had to consider what’s best for Bailey. When the old man told me he found three months worth of meds in her hotel room…untouched…I knew she had to be worse off than we thought. I brought him out here to take her home, Blake.” Axel looked like he expected me to be pissed. It wouldn’t have mattered, he would have done what he wanted to do anyways, but he was surprised when I said,
“You were right. She needs a lot more help than I can give her right now.” Mama was suddenly standing next to me with her hand on my arm. I wanted to ask Axel about Bailey’s husband, but I didn’t want to do it in front of my mother and sister. “Walk outside with me Axel, will you?”
“I was going to sing for him.” My little sister was still staring up at him with stars in her eyes. Dear God please don’t let her get involved in this business.
“Another time, Sammie.” She glared at me and I saw Axel throw her a wink. He and I would have to visit that later…as soon as this thing with Bailey was straightened out. Axel and I walked out back. I looked over towards the cabins. I could see two big guys in expensive suits standing on the porch. “Her father is in there with her?”
“Father and brother, yeah.”
“They’re going to take her home?”
“Yeah, it’s where she needs to be. Bailey Clark is my one big failure.”
“She’s talented as hell, Axel…”
“That she is. But she’s too sick for this world. It’s too hard to keep her in check when she’s traveling and working. Her father and I both should have known that before she got back to this point.”
“Back?”
“Yeah, actually we at least caught it earlier this time. Her father nearly let her ruin her life the last time before he admitted to himself how sick she is.”
“What happened?”
“I can’t tell you that, kid. That would have to come from him or Bailey. I will tell you that Bailey won’t be going on any tour. I booked Mick Jagger to go along with you. That guy has some incredible talent if we can just get him motivated.”
I nodded. I knew Mick through Kyle. The guy was definitely talented. I couldn’t help but worry about Bailey though. When she was stable back on her meds, what was she going to do with her life? “Bailey’s father agrees?”
“He finally gets it, I think. He let me release her contract with the understanding that I don’t talk to the press about any of this. You can expect a visit from him or one of his “representatives” yourself with the same instruction.”
“I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“You need to get over her kid.”
I nodded again. “I know. I actually knew that this morning when she sprung it on me that she’s married.”
“She’s what?”
“She says she has a husband. You didn’t know?”
“Um…did she say has or had?”
“She said “has.” Why?”
Axel shook his head. “Just forget about it kid, all of it. You’re better off. Concentrate on your music career and have some fun. Put Bailey Bella Persico Clark in your rearview.”
I watched as Bailey was walked out of the cabin and to the waiting car. Her father was on one side, her brother who doesn’t wash his hands on the other. She looked confused…scared…my heart ached for her even though I knew that it shouldn’t. I should be angry with her, but all I felt at that moment was empathy. I knew Axel was right and I needed to put her behind me…but as her eyes finally landed on me and I saw the look of abandonment in them…I knew that was going to be easier said than done.
For the next week I threw myself into every task I could find on the ranch, trying to get her out of my head. I was tempted to call her…just to see if she was okay. That’s what I told myself, but the truth was that I ached to hear the sound of her voice. I knew that as long as I felt that way, calling her would be a mistake. I couldn’t help but feel that I didn’t do enough to help her. She wasn’t just cheating on her husband…she was reaching out for help. She had all of these men controlling her but at the same time not looking out for her best interests. I felt like I was turning out to be just as much of a dick as the rest of them. I knew if I called her now, I would tell her all of that and probably end up continuing my torrid affair with a married woman….and a troubled one at that.
The Friday evening after they’d taken Bailey away my brother Beau found me sitting on the front porch. He sat down in the rocking chair next to mine and said,
“You look like your goat just died.”
I laughed. Beau loved to torment me. He took every opportunity even now to rub in the fact that each one of those legitimate puppies went to a brother…I got the goat. “Nope, Frank’s as healthy as a horse.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that, he’ll think he’s a pony.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I told him with a laugh. Beau handed me a beer and said,
“Tough break about Bailey, she seems like a nice girl just from the few minutes I spent with her.”
I nodded and took a pull from my beer. “She is, but she’s pretty messed up too. Axel is telling me I’m better off staying away from her.”
“And what are you telling yourself little brother?”
“That he’s right. I’m
not in that deep yet. It’ll be easier to walk away now than later. Besides, I found out this morning that she’s married.”
“Damn! Sorry man. I keep telling you, you’re too nice. You always did attract the needy ones.”
“Wow, you know how to cheer a guy up,” I said with a chuckle
“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true am I? Did you forget about Jill?”
To be honest I finally had…right up until my brother brought her up. “What’s your point brother?”
“My point is that you’re twenty-three years old and the two biggest relationships you’ve had in your life were with women who needed more than you could give. It’s high time you stop trying to save the female world and figure out what it is that you need.” Beau stood up. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just get your ass up and come on.” I finished my beer, just to show him he wasn’t the boss. Beau is ten years older than me and he forgets that I’m a grown man sometimes. Sometimes I forget too. I got up. We went by the tack house and got Luke and we found Josh in his cabin.
“Where are we going?” Luke asked.
“I have no idea. You’ll have to ask your brother.”
“We’re going to take little brother’s mind off a woman,” Beau told him.
“Are we going somewhere that I’ll need money? I’m broke.” Luke is always broke.
“That’s okay,” Beau told him, “Our brother is famous.” I guess women aren’t the only ones who take advantage of my being “too nice.”
We piled into Beau’s Ford F250 and he drove us into town. Before I saw the neon sign with the cowboy on it I knew where we were going. The Rope and Wire was the bar we’d all cut our teeth on, most of us before we were twenty-one and definitely without our Mama’s knowledge. Beau used to let us come with him and shoot pool and throw darts. The owner, a big old retired Hell’s Angel named Mikey didn’t care, as long as none of us drank or did anything we weren’t supposed to do. I started bringing my guitar and by the time I was thirteen I was the regular Friday night entertainment.
Before we found a seat Mikey looked up from behind the bar and said, “Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. Is that Blake Daniel’s star of stage and screen?”
I laughed and went over and shook his hand, “Good to see you Mikey.”
“What the hell is a famous guy like you doing in a dump like this?”
“Slumming,” I told him with a wink. I looked over at the old stage I used to play on in the corner, the same stage where Axel found me. To this day I’m not sure what he was doing in a seedy bar in a small town in Texas. He told me that night that I was going to be a star. A star wasn’t ever really what I was looking for…but I did want to make my music and I wanted people to hear it, so I called him.
I glanced around at the familiar decorations, decorations that haven’t changed in a decade. The same old pool table with the almost worn out felt stood along one wall. There were a bunch of older cowboys around it right then. I remember many hours shooting pool with my brothers. I smiled as memories tugged at my mind. Things seemed a lot mellower now. Other than the old guys playing pool, there were just a couple of young cowhands at the bar and a few couples feeding the jukebox and slow dancing across the sawdust floor. One of the couples in particular caught my attention. Beau noticed and said,
“Look away son, that’s more trouble than Bailey ever thought about being.”
11
Blake
The “that” Beau was referring to was my ex-girlfriend Jill. Jill and I were together from the time I was fifteen until Axel “discovered” me. The weekend we were supposed to be celebrating me leaving, I walked in on her giving my best friend a blowjob. She tried to blame it on me by saying she felt like I was abandoning her. When his lips stopped bleeding, he tried to say the same. I guess it was a good blow job because my ex-best friend was the one she was dancing with now.
I nodded at Beau, but watching them as they practically made love on the dance floor was like passing a train wreck…you couldn’t just keep driving and not look. The song ended and people began to circulate. I turned my attention back to my brothers and said,
“Why the hell are you all still single?”
Josh laughed. “Cause we’re smart,” he said. “All kinds of pretty girls come across the ranch all year long. Variety is the spice of life.” Josh is thirty years old. I don’t think he’s ever had a real girlfriend. Most people think he’s a player, I suspect that he’s gay. I don’t know why he doesn’t just come out already. I looked at Beau and said,
“What happened to that girl you were seeing? What was her name? Bethany?”
Luke and Josh laughed and Beau shot them a look. That was all it took to shut them up. “She moved.”
Josh whispered something to Luke and they both snickered again. I felt Beau’s leg move under the table and then Josh yelped out in pain. “Shit! That hurt!”
“Then mind your own fucked up love life and stay out of mine.”
“Speaking of love lives if y’all will excuse me…” Luke got up and I watched him walk over in Jill’s direction. I forced myself not to look at her as I nosily watched where my brother was going. He waltzed up to a pretty little dark haired cowgirl and sat down in the chair her friend had just vacated.
“Does he know her?”
Beau looked over and said, “Yeah. That’s Callie, Samantha’s friend.”
“Little Callie Forrester?”
“Yep.”
“Son of a bitch I’m getting old.”
“Yep.”
I glanced over at them again and this time Jill’s blue eyes caught mine on the way back. It’s funny how easy it is to think you’re over someone when you don’t see them for a while. It had been over a year since I’d seen Jill. One look from her still made my cock twitch in my pants. She was my first and my only for a long time. She let her gaze linger on mine for a long time until Lane, who had his back to me leaned in close and whispered something in her ear. She twisted a piece of that long brown hair around her finger and laughed at whatever he was saying.
When he sat back down in his seat, her eyes found mine again. This time I raised my beer slightly and gave her a little smile. She smiled back. As soon as I did, I felt Beau’s elbow in my ribs. “Really? There’s a whole room full of girls here. You have to go after the one that played you?”
“I’m not going after her. I was just being friendly.”
“Stop it. She doesn’t deserve your friendliness. Look at that blonde up there at the bar. She’s hot.”
I looked up towards the bar and what I saw was long, wild blonde hair, a black leather biker jacket with the sleeves cut off, very nicely filled out black skinny jeans and a pair of kick-ass combat boots. Beau was right. She was hot. She was a little scary, but hot. The tops of her arms were covered in colorful tattoos and she was rolling her shoulders and swaying her sexy hips in rhythm with the music. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I guessed if the front of her looked half as good as the back…and she promised that she wasn’t carrying a gun or a knife…I wouldn’t mind tapping that. I drained my beer and decided I’d need a few more before I’d be able to approach her.
“You guys ready for another?” They all nodded or said yes. Not a single one of them pulled out a dollar. Cheap bastards. I headed up to the bar and found my balls about halfway there as I decided to step up behind the hot biker chick. “Hey Mikey, four more please.”
She turned her head and looked up at me. Her eyes were hazel and definitely as pretty as her backside. She had big pink lips that looked like they were made for kissing, or for wrapping around…
“Blake Daniels.” I had my mind on how her lips would look wrapped around certain parts of my anatomy so it took me a few seconds to process that she was talking to me. When it did, I grinned at her and said,
“Yes ma’am, that’s me.” The jukebox seemed to get louder all of a sudden and I realized it was my voice coming out of it…mine
and Bailey’s. This was one of the songs that we’d written together, and the only one that we’d had time to record before she got sick. I suddenly felt like somebody kicked me in the gut.
The blonde tossed her head towards the box and said, “And that’s you too.” I refocused on the angel in front of me and tried to take my mind off the one floating out of the music box. She let those hazel eyes take me in from head to toe. I had never before felt so naked when fully clothed, and my body felt like she was setting me on fire with her eyes. I took a sip of my beer and as casually as I could although I felt like I wanted to choke on it, and I looked down into the plunging neckline of that vest she was wearing. It seemed to be all she was wearing and the swell of her large firm breasts were drawing my eyes like a magnet. She suddenly stood up off the stool she’d been sitting on. Her jean-clad legs went on for days and I could see that the vest was cut up in a triangle just above her pierced navel. My cock was doing a back-flip. “Dance with me, Cowboy.”
I finished off my beer and grabbed the others. “Let me drop these off first.” I stopped and plunked the beer down in front of my brothers. They all had plenty to say with their eyes. I just grinned at them as the biker chick took hold of my hand and led me out on the dance floor. She didn’t hesitate to reach up and put her hands around the back of my neck. Then she pressed her breasts into my chest and I put my hands on the small of her back. The vest had ridden up and my hands were touching her hot skin. We started swaying to the music and I could feel my cock growing and straining to get out. I hoped she couldn’t feel it. I might look like a pervert getting hard on our first dance. I couldn’t help it though. She was one of those women who oozed sexuality out of her pores.