by Marie Force
“Coming?”
“Cripes,” she sputtered. “Put it right out there, why don’t you?”
“We’re both adults, aren’t we?”
“If you say so.”
Adam laughed and pulled one of her hands clear of her face. Without releasing her hand, he said, “Why do you suppose that’s a problem for you?”
“I have my theories.”
“You have my full attention.”
She dropped her other hand and turned her head to look at him, her expression arrestingly lovely. “That’s it. That’s the issue. I never had their full attention. And without it…”
“It can’t happen for you.”
“Yes.” She got a faraway look in her eyes as she fixated on something over his shoulder. “Even when things were good with Cal, he was always getting called away or waiting for a baby to be born or dealing with a crisis at the clinic. In Texas, he was working and tending to his mother. We had to hurry and take advantage of whatever time we had, and hurrying doesn’t work for me.”
“Did they know?” Adam told himself not to think about the fact that one of the men she was talking about was his brother.
She shook her head. “I got very good at faking it.”
“Aw, shit, Abby.”
“Screwed up, huh? You have to swear you’ll never tell anyone, Adam. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Not even Grant.”
“Especially not Grant.”
They shared a smile that made Adam a tiny bit grateful for Sasha’s betrayal. Without it, he wouldn’t be having this unexpectedly special moment with this adorably sweet and surprisingly sexy woman. “I was always so concerned about hurting their feelings that I faked it rather than let them think they weren’t satisfying me.”
“Have you ever, you know, by yourself?”
“Ugh, I think I just died of embarrassment.”
“Have you?”
“Yes!”
“So you know you can.”
“Yes.”
“Interesting.”
“What does that mean?”
“At least I get now why you’ve got meaningless sex on your bucket list.”
“Exactly.”
“Except…”
“What?”
“You had genuine feelings for Grant and Cal, but couldn’t get there. What makes you think it’ll be better with someone you don’t care about?”
Her big brown eyes flooded with tears that made Adam feel like an ass for asking the question.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I have to try. Don’t you see that? If I don’t try, how will I find something better?”
Since Adam didn’t have a good answer to that question, he didn’t say anything. He stared up at the ceiling for a long time, and when he looked over at her again, he saw that she’d dozed off with tears staining her cheeks. Those tear streaks made him sad.
The cell phone peeking out of her hip pocket caught his attention.
Moving slowly and carefully—and without taking the time to change his mind or consider the ethical consequences of what he was about to do—he withdrew the phone without waking her. Luckily it wasn’t password protected, which he’d have to talk to her about at some point. He accessed the settings and programmed it so he could check her location at any given time.
Even though his conscience strongly objected, he’d made a decision during the enlightening hour he’d spent with her. If anyone was going to help her go a little crazy this summer—in bed and out—it was going to be him. Now he just had to convince her to let him while making sure his brother never, ever found out about it.
Owen got Holden changed, fed and settled in his crib. The little guy looked up at him with big, trusting eyes that made Owen weak in the knees with love. After helping to raise his six younger siblings, he’d never pictured himself acting like a dad to someone else’s kid. But now he couldn’t imagine life without the little guy.
Except for the one day every month when Holden’s biological father came to the island to visit him, the baby belonged to Owen and Laura, and Owen couldn’t imagine loving a child of his own any more than he loved Holden. He loved the way the baby snuggled into his embrace and squeezed his finger or gnawed on his thumb while teething. He loved how Holden stared up at him as Owen fed him a bottle, and he loved that he was just as good as Laura was at getting him to burp.
He’d even mastered diaper changes and could do them now in the dark when necessary. Since Holden came into his life, Owen had thought more about his own childhood than he had in years, wondering mostly how anyone could harm an innocent child. Soon he would have to testify about his miserable upbringing at his father’s trial.
The thought of seeing Mark Lawry again—for the first time in more than a decade—made Owen feel sick and anxious, so he tried not to think about it. But there was nothing he wouldn’t do to support his mom and her domestic violence case against his dad. His siblings felt the same way. They were willing to walk through fire, literally, to make sure their father could never again hurt anyone else the way he’d hurt them.
Lying on his back in the crib, Holden looked up at him, his chubby legs bicycling the blanket right off. Laughing, Owen put it back over him. “Playtime is over, buddy. Time for some sleep.” He turned on the musical mobile and smoothed a hand over the baby’s soft blond hair. “See you bright and early.”
Owen’s days of sleeping until noon after working a late gig were long over. Getting up with the baby was now one of his two favorite ways to start the day. His other favorite way involved the baby’s mother. With Holden settled for the night, Owen wandered into the bedroom to check on her.
Laura lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Her face was unusually pale, which it had been since the stomach flu hit her the week before. Most of the other islanders who’d had the bug had bounced back a day or two later. After a week, Laura was still flattened, even though she’d insisted on working and taking care of the baby.
“Is he asleep?” she asked.
“On his way.” Owen lay next to her and reached for her hand. After seven months together, it still stopped his heart to realize he could hold her and touch her and make love to her any time he wanted. She was his to keep, and nothing in his life had ever been more precious to him than her and the baby they both loved. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like crap. I feel like I’ve been sick the whole time I’ve known you.”
Smiling, he kissed her hand and then leaned over to kiss her lips. “You have not been sick the whole time. You were pregnant, which doesn’t count as sick, and you had the flu.”
“Why is everyone else over it, but I’m still feeling so bad?”
Owen didn’t let on that he’d asked himself that same question. “You…” He forgot what he was going to say as another thought struck him, one he hadn’t had before.
“What?”
He forced himself to meet her gaze. “Is it… Is it possible you might be pregnant again?”
Her face lost all remaining color, which wasn’t much to begin with. “No! I can’t be pregnant! Holden is only three months old!”
“Um, I hate to tell you that you can, in fact, be pregnant. Whether or not you are is something for Victoria to confirm, but don’t tell me it’s not possible. We haven’t exactly been careful.”
Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “I can’t be,” she whispered.
Touched by her dismay, he turned on his side and put his arms around her. “If you are, it certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world. We’re getting married in August, long before the baby would arrive. It’s all good, honey.”
“No, it isn’t. I can’t be throwing up all day every day in the midst of our busy season.”
Owen smiled into soft blonde hair that was so much like her son’s. “Maybe it won’t be as bad this time as it was with Holden.”
“It would certainly explain why I feel like de
ath warmed over. Oh God, Owen! How could this have happened?”
“I can tell you if you really don’t know.”
“Don’t be funny,” she said between sobs. “There’s nothing funny about this.”
“Yes, there is.”
She punched his shoulder. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who pukes your guts up for months when you’re pregnant.”
Choking back a laugh he knew she wouldn’t appreciate, he tightened his arms around her. “I’m the one who scoops you up off the floor.”
“I’m not ready for another baby! I can barely handle the one I have.”
“You’re an awesome mom, and there’s nothing you can’t handle.”
“You have to say that. You did this to me.”
He drew back from her so he could see her pretty face, which was now puffy and red from crying. At least she had some color in her cheeks. “And it was the most fun I ever had doing anything to anyone.”
“Stop making jokes.”
He kissed the pout off her lips. “Stop acting like the world has ended.”
“I don’t want to be sick all summer,” she said with a moan. “It’s so awful.”
“I know, honey, but I’ll be right there with you, just like I was last time, and we’ll get through it together. And in a few months, we’ll have another baby to love as much as we love Holden.”
“Don’t get too excited before we know for sure.”
She was right, yet he had a sneaking suspicion that he was right, too. It would explain a lot about why she’d been feeling so poorly. “Hmm, let’s examine the evidence, shall we? Exhibit A: feeling crappy for more than a week.” He rested a hand on her flat belly, where there was no sign of a new life growing inside her—yet. She’d bounced right back to her pre-baby figure after giving birth to Holden in February. His hand moved from her belly to her chest, cupping a full breast.
“Don’t. They hurt.”
“Ah-ha! Exhibit B: sore boobs, and, might I add, a bit bigger than usual. Not that I’m complaining.”
She sniffled as new tears flooded her eyes. “Owen.”
He cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. “I love you. I love everything about you. I even love you when you’re puking. If you’re pregnant, I’ll take very good care of you and Holden, so don’t worry about anything.”
She banged her head against his chest repeatedly until he laughed and stopped her by holding her tight against him.
“When can we find out for sure?” he asked.
“Tomorrow,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt.
“I want to come.”
“You already did. That’s what got me into this mess.”
Owen roared with laughter, thrilled by her, by them, by their amazing life together. And now, maybe, another child… For a guy who’d grown up in the midst of violence and fear, life didn’t get any sweeter than this.
Chapter 9
Stephanie kept a watchful eye on Grant as he sat at the bar in her restaurant, pushing food around on his plate and nursing a beer. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve cleaned his plate and been on his second beer by now. He’d be shooting the shit with the other people at the bar, doing what he did best—telling stories. But tonight he kept his head down and didn’t engage with anyone, even the bartender Cissy, who’d become a friend to both of them.
Cissy caught Stephanie’s glance and sent her a questioning look.
Stephanie shrugged. She wished she knew what had him so withdrawn, but he wasn’t talking about it, at least not to her. She also wanted to know where he’d really been earlier. Had he heard that Abby was home and gone to see her?
That thought made Stephanie’s stomach hurt. Would he want Abby back now that she was single again? No. Of course not. He loves you, you ninny. He’s engaged to you. But what if— Stop it. Just stop.
“Hey, hon.” Her stepfather’s voice jarred her out of the disturbing thoughts. “Got a table for your dear old dad?”
“I thought you guys were cheating on me by going to Domenic’s tonight.”
Charlie chuckled. “Sarah had to work late, so we missed our reservation.”
“I feel so bad about that,” Sarah said as she joined them.
“I told you I don’t care where we go, as long as we go together.” Charlie raised his arm to put it around Sarah, and she flinched away from him.
When she realized what she’d done, she seemed horrified. “Sorry,” she muttered, her face flushing with embarrassment.
“Let’s try this again,” Charlie said, slowly raising his arm and looping it around her shoulders. “Better?”
Sarah nodded, and Stephanie led them to their table. She loved them together, two wounded souls finding comfort in each other. Speaking of wounded souls… She seated Charlie and Sarah and went over to the bar to try—again—to talk to Grant.
She slid onto the barstool next to him. “Do I need to be concerned about my chef?”
“What?”
She nodded to his plate, which was mostly untouched.
“Oh no. It’s amazing, as always. I’m just not very hungry.”
“We missed you at your mom’s for dinner.”
“Oh shit. I totally forgot about Adam’s welcome-home thing.”
“Everyone was worried when we couldn’t reach you.”
“Sorry. I was… I forgot.”
Stephanie didn’t mention how wildly out of character it was for Grant to miss an opportunity to spend time with his family, especially when most of them were there. She didn’t think he’d want to hear that right now. “You ready to go home?”
“Are you?”
“I could be.”
“Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”
He looked so tired that her heart ached for him. Whatever was keeping him awake at night was doing a number on him. She’d give anything to share his burden, but he wasn’t sharing, and she’d stopped asking to keep the peace. “Give me five minutes.”
Stephanie went to talk to her manager and hostess, putting them in charge for the rest of the evening with orders to call her if anything came up that they couldn’t handle. While she normally wouldn’t leave so early, she needed to spend some time with Grant.
She collected him from the bar, where he’d left a generous tip for Cissy.
“Have a good night, you guys,” Cissy said.
“You, too.”
As Stephanie drove them home, he didn’t say anything, and she left him alone, even though she churned with questions and worries she didn’t dare share with him.
At home, they dodged the boxes scattered throughout the living room and kitchen, a reminder of how much work still needed to be done at their new place. If only she could find some time to deal with it.
Grant went into the kitchen for a glass of water.
Stephanie followed and saw him pop a pill that he chased with the water. “What’re you taking?”
“Sleeping pill.” He turned to her, weariness clinging to him like a heavy blanket. “Desperate times…”
“Where’d you get it?”
“David.”
“So that’s where you were earlier?”
“Yeah. Sorry to have worried you.”
“Oh,” she said, blowing out a sigh of relief. At least he hadn’t been with Abby. “I thought…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What did you think?”
She shook her head again. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Where did you think I was, Steph?”
“I didn’t know. No one knew. We were worried. We’ve been worried.”
“You didn’t think I was with someone else, did you?”
“I hoped not.”
He let out a huff of indignation. “Really? I’m off your radar for a couple of hours, and you have me with another woman?”
“Not just any other woman.”
His brows knitted with confusion. “Who?”
“Abby’s home.”
His genu
ine surprise at that news was further comfort to Stephanie. “She is? With Cal?”
“Apparently, that’s over.”
“Huh. That’s surprising.” He met her gaze, his blue eyes dull and flat. “So you thought I might be with her.”
“It crossed my mind.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”
Stephanie’s stomach hurt, and her heart beat fast and erratic. “What am I supposed to think? You’ve been completely out of it since the accident, brooding in silence, not sleeping, not writing, not talking to me or anyone. And then you go missing the same day your ex-girlfriend returns to the island, suddenly single again. What would you think if you were me?”
“I wouldn’t think that! We’re engaged. I made a commitment to you. I’m not going to cheat on you the first chance I get. Give me some credit, will you?”
Stephanie wanted to scream and yell and pound her fists on his chest. Whatever it took to get him to tell her what had him so wound up in knots. For now, she was grateful he was talking to her about something. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have gone there.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
Her insecurities had caused them trouble in the past, and the last thing they needed now was more of that kind of trouble. “You know my weak spots. I can’t help that I go right to worst case.”
“Don’t go there. I’m not interested in her. I’m interested in you.”
Deciding to take a chance, Stephanie went to him and slid her hands over his chest and linked them behind his neck. “You’re interested in me?” she asked with her best teasing smile.
His lips formed the closest thing to a smile she’d seen since the accident. “You know I am. I love you.”
As his arms came around her, she wanted to sing hallelujah. “I love you, too. And I hate to see you hurting. I wish you’d talk to me, Grant. Tell me what happened out there. Let me help.”
His smile faded, and the remote expression returned. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“The offer is on the table. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, you know where I am.”
He hugged her tightly as a deep sigh shuddered through him. “That helps, babe. Thank you.”