“Thank you.” I return to my sandwich, unable to tolerate the pity and sympathy she’s dousing me in. I don’t want it right now, thank you very much.
“That’s it? You don’t want to talk about it anymore? You just thank me? What else is going on, Bliss?” She bends her torso over the table to look me in the eyes.
I throw down the crust of my sandwich, done with food and questions. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just leave me alone for a bit.”
“Oh, hell no. I’m your best friend. We talk about everything. If you are just bummed about your mom, I totally get it, but it’s not healthy to hold that in. If it’s something else, you better tell me right now.”
“Ugh, fine.” I push my plate away and slump back in my chair. “It’s Talan. He’s a dirty rat bastard who fucks other girls when I’m gone.” The tears that sting my eyes frustrate me even more than having to tell Willa. I don’t want to cry over him anymore.
Willa draws back as if I’ve slapped her. Emotions run across her face before she settles on anger to match mine. “That asshole! What happened? How did you find out?”
I rub my tired eyes and hate that I have to relive this. Willa won’t settle for anything but the entire story, so I do my best to steel myself to tell her. “I went straight to his condo yesterday after I dropped Mom at home. I was walking to his building when I saw him in the doorway with this girl he works with. She’s a catty bitch who gave me ‘he’s mine’ eyes the one time I’ve met her, at the tasting room party. She was touching him, and he kissed her goodbye before going back into the building. He was obviously seeing her off after screwing her brains out.”
Willa looks furious, which I appreciate. “How the hell can he do that to you? He’s been pursuing you this whole time, wanting you to give him the time of day. What, now that he’s got it, he’s moved on? That’s shitty and he’s a douchebag asshole.”
“Pretty much my sentiments. He’s probably been blowing up my phone, but I turned it off earlier. I’m afraid to turn it back on, but I need to check on Mom.”
“Give it to me, I’ll check for you.”
I fish in my purse and find my phone, powering it on and entering my passcode to unlock the screen. Before I hand it over, I check and see no calls or texts from Mom, so I shoot her one asking for an update. As predicted, I have six messages from Talan, along with two phone calls. I hand the phone to Willa without reading the messages.
She scrolls through for me, her face blank. “He wanted to make sure you made it home safe. Asked you to dinner tonight. Said he was worried. Blah blah blah.” She types out a quick reply before she shuts the screen off.
“Hey, what did you write?” I yank my phone out of her hands, opening the screen back up and hunting for her message.
Me: Screw off, asshat. I know what you did.
“Willa, why did you send that?” I wave the phone in her face. “I was just going to ignore him completely.” I roll my eyes, setting my phone on the table and place my face in my hands.
“He deserves to know that he messed up and you caught him. Dicks like that get off on the power and game playing. If you take the power back and call them out, it takes them down a peg.”
My phone vibrates on the table, making me jump and snatch it up before Willa can get her hands on it.
Talan: Bliss? What’s wrong? What the fuck did I do?
I close the screen immediately and place the phone in my lap. Willa looks at me expectantly.
“Well?”
“Nothing. Now can I go to sleep?”
“Hell no. We’re going out. You can sleep tomorrow.”
Somehow, Willa manages to get me out of the house against my will. I am surly and mean, snapping at her and anyone who talks to me at the bar she’s taken me to. Three chocolate martinis later and I find it in me to be nicer, at least to her. Willa ordered the drinks because she knows vodka is my panty-dropper. It hits me the hardest of any liquor and makes me a joy to be around before I’m too drunk to stand.
Somehow Willa has my phone again, asking me for my passcode, which I tell her just to get her to leave me alone. She gives me another martini and asks the bartender to give us a couple of lemon drop shots. Lemon and chocolate sounds like a horrible combination, but I don't even taste the difference when I pour the shot back. I am feeling pleasantly numb now, which is good because nothing hurts. As I set the glass down on the bar, I tip to the side and think I’m about to become acquainted with the dirty floor.
Hands are steadying my shoulders as I lean precariously far off my stool, but I don’t end up falling. I look around to see who stopped the inevitable and am faced with a t-shirt with “Life would be so much easier if I had the source code” written on it. I look up to find glasses and floppy hair peering at me. Dillon is awkwardly steadying me.
Wait, when did Dillon get here?
He sets me up on the stool, but my muscles aren’t really cooperating, so I start to slide again. He ends up standing behind me, bracketing me in with his arms on the bar as Willa laughs. I slump against his chest, unable to hold myself upright.
“You did this, you dirty whore.” I point at what I think is Willa’s face, but it moved so I don’t really know. “Hey, whore rhymes with floor. I almost fell on the floor and you’re a whore.” I clap happily at my astute observations. I am really handling this liquor. Dillon laughs, reminding me he’s still here, practically becoming a Bliss high chair. “Hey, it’s Dillon. You’re here? How did you get here? Did this whore make you come?” I snort and throw my hand over my mouth as I laugh. “Oh, that’s dirty.”
Dillon laughs and my back vibrates with the sound. I didn’t realize his voice was so deep. I don’t think I ever really paid attention to how his laugh sounded when I was pressed against him. He usually irritated me whenever he opened his mouth, so I didn’t encourage it. Maybe I should give Dillon another chance. What’s-his-name is a total asshole and doesn’t deserve me.
“I drove here Bliss, you know, in a car? Parking sucked, by the way. If I get a ticket, you’re paying for it.” He looks over my shoulder and nods. Oh yeah, Willa’s here too. When I look over, she looks up from a phone with a big smile on her face. Is that my phone? I don’t remember if I took it back or not.
“You’ll be fine, Tech—um, Dillon. Buy Bliss another drink. She likes chocolate martinis and lemon drops tonight.”
“Eww, gross,” Dillon says under his breath, but flags down a bartender and orders one of each anyway, along with a beer.
“Eww, beer,” I mock, swirling the stem of my empty glass on the bar until Dillon grabs it from me as it tilts dangerously close to the edge.
“How much has she had to drink?” he asks Willa, who shrugs her shoulders and smiles. I think she’s had as much as I have, but I didn’t pay attention. “You girls are wasted. Thanks for dragging me into a fucking mess, Willa.”
Willa sticks her tongue out at him. “You didn’t have to come running unless you wanted to. It was your choice. Besides, we needed you. You get to hold Bliss up.”
“Are you here to keep me from falling down? When did your arms get toned?” I ask, distractedly poking at Dillon’s forearm, still holding me against the bar. My drinks arrive, and I down the lemon drop but don’t touch the martini. It doesn't sound good anymore. Willa takes the martini and sips. It’s so nice of her to help me with my drinks. Dillon swigs his beer and places the bottle back on the bar, his arms returning to their place on either side of me.
Dillon releases a breath against my head. “I guess I am. Willa thought it would be a good idea for me to come see you.” He flexes his forearms by squeezing the bar. “I do work out, you know. Maybe I’m not like that ripped dude who just walked in, but I manage.”
I follow Dillon’s gaze to see who he is talking about. “Oh, that’s Talan. He has a really nice body, but we don’t like him right now. He likes petite brunettes,” I reply, waving my hand in his direction.
My brain squirms in its alcohol soaked state, ma
king me think I should care a little more that Talan is here. Nope, I just know I don’t like him very much, even though part of me still thinks I should stand right up and walk into his arms. They do look strong. I bet he would hold me upright if I started to fall.
“What the fuck, Bliss?”
“Hey, man, back off. She didn’t do anything to you,” Dillon says, his arms leaving my sides as he steps further between me and Talan. Talan stands by Willa, trying to see around Dillon to get my attention. I look down at my empty shot glass, wiping sugar from the rim with my fingertip. I want no part of this buzzkill.
“I think you need to back the fuck off my girlfriend, asshole, before I break your face.”
I can’t really see Talan with Dillon in the way, but a chill runs along my spine. He called me his girlfriend. But I’m not. I can’t be, if he’s screwing other girls behind my back.
“Dude, chill out. Bliss, do you even want him talking to you?”
I want to say both no and yes. My head responds for me, doing a crazy wobble that doesn’t quite fit either answer. A shuffle happens behind me, and I’m rotated on my stool until I face those mesmerizing eyes that are not quite blue or brown but something in between.
“Bliss, baby, what’s going on? Who is this shithead touching you? Why won’t you answer my calls or texts? What did I do?”
Talan is holding my arms, forcing me to look him in the face. His face is so pretty. The scruff of his beard is back to the length I like the best. I’d love to rub my face along his. He shakes me a little, which gets my attention.
“Don’t touch me,” I spit. The horror of his cheating hands on me, filthy with deceit, makes me back up into the bar, pulling my arms from his grasp.
“Fucking hell.” He raises his hands in front of him in surrender. He drags his hands through his hair and blows out a breath. “What happened? I just want to know why you came back from Vegas and the only texts I get from you are telling me to leave you alone, and that you’re having fun here at this bar without me.” He makes air quotes around having fun while his face becomes a snarl as he looks at Dillon.
“Don’t worry Dillon, you didn’t do anything wrong. He won’t hurt you.” I look over Talan’s shoulder to where Dillon is standing, looking confused. I catch sight of Willa looking quite unhappy next to him. This is all her fault.
“I will hurt him, if he touches you again,” Talan snarls in my face.
“You have no right to say that.” Tears well up in my eyes as I remember him leaning down to kiss Nassim. “I obviously don’t mean that much to you. Now get out of my way, I want to go home.” I brush at the tears as I slide off my stool and push on Talan’s chest. I think he lets me move him aside, because I don’t remember it being that easy. Willa is at my side, putting her arm around my shoulders and leading me out of the bar and away from Talan. He doesn’t even apologize for his unfaithfulness or make the slightest move to prove otherwise.
Willa manages to get us a cab so we can get home. While she gives the driver directions, I look out the window and see Talan at the door of the bar, watching me. His face is a slurry of anger and confusion, but he still doesn’t come after me. Sobs wrack my body as I stare right back at him, an ugly cry contorting my face in silent agony. I don’t know if I’m more upset that he betrayed me, or that he doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for now. Our cab pulls away from the curb, and Talan is lost from sight. I slide down in the seat, hugging my body as the tears continue to course down my face.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Morning is an ugly bitch even my considerable skills and extensive kit can do nothing to fix. Consciousness arrives with a shrill voice, her shriveled hands banging on an anvil that is lodged in my skull. I pull my pillow over my head, blocking out as much light as I can, and hope this hangover goes away. Unfortunately, wishing for something doesn’t make it happen. You actually have to put the work in.
I gingerly roll out of bed and pick my way to the bathroom for some Advil and a glass of water. As soon as the pills go down and the glass of water is empty, it comes back up in a burning display of sickness. I am doubled over the toilet, holding the porcelain as my body contorts and my throat burns. I curse chocolate martinis and lemon drops. I curse Willa for thinking it was a good idea to take advantage of my sad state and ply me with alcohol. I curse myself for drinking. When the vomiting has stopped, I lay on the cool tile floor, my head pressed against the bathtub and moan pitifully.
I am so stupid. How could I get swept up in all of this? Not just the binge drinking, but with a guy I know so little about. I shouldn’t have trusted him. I was right to be hesitant to let Talan in. Fuck. Just thinking his name is enough to put me in more pain than I already am, my chest squeezing with it like my hung-over brain.
I am disgusted with him.
I’m disgusted with myself. He wouldn’t have been able to hurt me if I hadn’t let him. I make it back to my room when my stomach seems settled and fall into my bed. I eye my phone, sitting innocently on my nightstand. I hate not having my phone on, if only for security in case Mom needs to get a hold of me. I can’t fight the urge. I reach for it, turning it on and letting it power up on the pillow next to me.
No new calls or texts from Mom. And nothing from Talan, either. Why that bothers me when I’m so mad at him, I have no idea. I’m sure if I dug deep enough, there would be an explanation, but I don't want to acknowledge anything. I try sipping more water for a bit as I lay in bed, and send negative vibes to Willa’s room. I hope she’s suffering right along with me this morning. More sleep is futile, and laying around thinking isn’t good for me, so I get dressed. I’m determined to make it to San Jose in one piece to spend time with Mom.
I run into Willa in the hallway, looking as shitty as I feel. I turn away instead of talking. I don’t want to be this mad at her, but she kind of hurt more than she helped.
“Bliss, please talk to me. I was just trying to help,” she calls to my retreating back. I pause, but don’t turn around.
Sighing, I rub my aching temples. “You totally suck at helping things, Willa.”
I feel her come up behind me, resting her forehead against my back. “I’m so sorry. Don’t be mad at me, please.”
I drop my head forward before turning around. “Willa, you made things so much worse. By sending those messages, you complicated things way more than they needed to be. I didn’t need Dillon there, and I didn’t want Talan to show up, either.”
She winces. “I know. I feel so stupid now. I was acting out of anger on your behalf. You totally don’t owe me any roommate chores anymore, and I’m taking care of my own dishes, too.” Willa smiles, trying to win me over.
I roll my eyes. “You better believe you’re doing your own chores after that. Now, if you can figure out how to rewind time so this whole mess didn’t happen, that would be awesome.”
Willa grimaces at me, clearly not sure how to accept defeat for my latest unrealistic challenge.
“I’m going to check on Mom. I’ll probably be back tomorrow.” Willa nods and I head out the door.
Driving to San Jose, my cell rings and I automatically pick it up. “Hello, this is Bliss.” I use my professional greeting, in case it’s a potential client.
“Bliss.” Talan’s voice is both a soothing balm and gritty as sandpaper, caressing my name while roughing up my already exposed nerves. “Where are you?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m on my way to see my mom,” I answer, unable to put much anger behind my words. I want to hate him so much. He betrayed me. He broke my trust, and my heart. But hearing his voice has my soul purring in recognition.
“I’m not going to pretend I know why the fuck you’re mad at me, and unless you tell me I can’t even apologize for whatever it is you think I did. I need to see you. When are you coming back to the city?” There’s an edge of need to his voice that tempers the anger and frustration.
“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea to see y
ou, anyway.” I roll my bottom lip between my teeth, trying my hardest to remember why I don’t want to see him. A film of him kissing Nassim flows through my brain, and I feel vindicated, but sick. He doesn’t deserve my time or attention for that indiscretion alone, never mind whatever had happened before I caught them.
Talan growls in frustration, clearly not happy with my answer. “This is fucked up, Bliss. I just need to talk to you. You owe me that. Don’t I deserve that much?”
“You don’t deserve a fucking thing from me, and I certainly don’t owe you anything. Leave me alone, asshole.” I end the call with shaking fingers, my breaths coming in ragged pants. I turn my ringer off and place my phone in my purse, determined not to pick up any more calls from him. How can he not know what he did? He must at least have an idea I might know he cheated on me. Why he’s still playing innocent is a major indication of the games he likes to run on girls.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I finally make it to Mom’s apartment without further interruption. I still have my mind on Talan, but at least I didn’t have to fight with him on the phone. I walk in, calling as I do. “Hey Mom, how are you doing today?”
“Oh, Bliss, I didn’t know you were coming down today,” Mom replies from the couch, where she’s laying with her head in Andy’s lap.
Oh. I stop short in the hallway, unsure of how to handle this new situation. My mom and my dad are sitting together. Sounds normal enough, yet it’s something incredibly foreign for us.
I smack my face, immediately regretting the touch as my head fires a new volley of pain at me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think to call. I can leave if you want.” I thumb toward the door I just came through, not knowing exactly what I should do.
“No. No, honey, please stay.” Mom raises up into a seated position and adjusts her oxygen cannula.
“It’s nice to see you again, Bliss,” Andy says, smiling as he half rises off the couch to extend his hand for me to shake awkwardly.
A Taste of Bliss Page 21