“That doesn’t make it okay. You’re never supposed to agree to any of my commands.”
“Drew, stop trying to make excuses. I know it’s fucked up. You know it’s fucked up, but that doesn’t stop the effects of us both wanting it.”
“You swear. You’re really okay with it?”
“Yes, Drew,” I said sliding off his lap. “Where do you want me, Drew?” I asked in a scared Morgan voice. I knew that would get him. It did. He stood and towered above me.
“Put your hands on the bed,” he said close to my lips. I kissed him, sliding my tongue between his lips and turned around. Oh dear lord. What have I done now?
Holy mother. Ouch. Son of a bitch. Fuck. That was nothing like Drew’s hand. It hurt. It hurt like hell and I could feel the sting clear across my ass. I bit the comforter the next time and then moaned when I felt Drew sliding his dick in me from behind. His hands on my sore ass were welcoming, but just like I knew it wouldn’t, it didn’t last. Drew shoved his dick in me four times before moving to the side of me again.
My body tensed while his hand caressed my ass. I screamed and moaned again when I felt the next blow. Drew grabbed my hair from behind and fucked me hard for a few minutes before pulling me to my knees. He fucked my mouth like a madman and then made me get on all fours where he brought the belt to my already on fire ass. I think it was numb. I barely felt that one. Drew fucked my pussy in this positon with the vibrator while he repeated the anal bead practice until the next orgasm.
“Stay right there,” he ordered from behind my doggie style position. I couldn’t respond. I was still riding waves. I heard the packet open and knew by the wet sound what Drew was up to. Tensing again, I felt the head of his cock slide in my ass. He didn’t do it like he normally did. He did it like he would have back when I did everything he told me to do without a fight. He shoved it in deep and fast. My breath caught from the sudden pain and I yelped. Drew didn’t falter. He held my hips and pulled me to him while he fucked me mad.
As soon as he pulled out I was on my knees and the condom was off. I parted my lips like I used to, peaking out my tongue. Drew opened my mouth a little with his dick and I felt the first bout before I tasted it. The next squirt coated my lips and he painted them with his come. Once Drew was completely clean and finished with his own wave, he pulled me to him.
“I fucking love you so much. You have no idea,” he said, pulling me tight while my ass welcomed his soft hand. Ouch.
“I know you do. I love you, too, but I’m really mad at you.”
“I couldn’t help it, love. I was stranded in the snow.”
“I know. And that’s the only reason I’m not going to be mad at you. Did you happen to look at the metal detectors?” I asked, kissing his lips.
“Hmm, better. It’s in my trunk.”
“I knew I could count on you. He’s really mad at you, you know?”
“Did you tell him I was stuck in snow?”
“Yes, but he’s five. And Tad didn’t understand why you didn’t buy a cape like Superman and just fly home,” I explained.
Drew kissed me and slid on shorts. “I’m going to wake them.”
“No, I want you tonight.”
“I’ll stay up with you all night. Please, just let me go say hey,” he whined like a baby.
“Fine, I’m going to sit in a tub and wash the sticky juice off me.”
“That was wine,” Drew lied, taking the glass out with him and I smiled, happy that he was home.
I feigned a headache before noon the following day and begged Drew for a pill before ten in the morning. It was raining, Tadpole had done nothing but whine since he woke up, and Nicholas was having a meltdown because he didn’t want to go back to the other house. He made no sense. He did the same thing when we came to the beach house. I just needed a few moments alone.
After settling Tadpole down with a dose of Tylenol and an early nap, Drew gave me one pill against his will.
“If you take this now, you’re not getting another one until bed,” he warned. That pissed me off, but I didn’t say anything. I wanted the pills too badly. Who the fuck did he think he was to tell me what I was doing? I wasn’t passive little Morgan from some hick town in West Virginia anymore.
“Nicky’s asleep on the couch,” Drew said, stopping dead in his tracks. I tried to turn away from the mirror but he saw it.
“Jesus, did I do that?” he asked, turning my ass back to the mirror.
No. the other guy with the belt did... “Yes, and you did this, too. You know my mother has a fit when you do that,” I lectured, trying to bring the focus to the strawberry mark on my neck.
“Why didn’t you tell me to stop?”
“Drew, stop. Don’t ruin it. I’m fine.”
“Morgan, your ass is covered in raw welts. That’s not okay.”
“Yes it is. Can I just have a few minutes to unwind, Drew? Please, baby, don’t do this. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do.”
Drew nodded, and left me alone. I was so glad he did. The moan and hiss from the pain of the hot water was almost enough to force me to pass out. The burn from the water quickly became a comfort once I was in and relaxed. I’m not so sure I hadn’t dozed off after I heard Tadpole up and whining already. That nap didn’t last long enough.
I made the same audible, hissing sound when I applied a burn salve to the stripes on my ass. They weren’t bad at all. I’d seen them a lot worse than that. The deep, dark lines were the ones that hurt the most. Even those barely broke the skin. Nonetheless, they still hurt.
I read the stupid directions again on this stupid, stupid metal detector. Whose idea was this anyway? I glared up to my wife in frustration and shook my head. I crossed my arms and ankles and watched Morgan give both our boys plastic metal detectors. She smiled at me and opened the battery compartment.
“Why does Tad get something for my birthday?” Nicholas asked while he watched his mom put the batteries in his first.
“Well,” Morgan began, rubbing her hand down his arm. “I buy Tadpole stuff on your birthday, because I am thankful for both of my boys. Didn’t it make you feel happy when you got a present at Tadpoles birthday party? Hmm?” she asked, handing him his toy first. “Besides, this way you get two birthdays, right?”
Tadpole bounced up and down, ready to find treasure. Morgan told him to calm down twice before she handed him the toy metal detector.
“What am I supposed to do with this thing?” I asked, holding up the very expensive, very complicated metal detector.
“You’re going to learn how to use it, and let your boys trail behind you and dig up real treasure on the beach,” Morgan explained, falling into my arms. I spread my legs on the stool and hugged her to me.
“That’s why I love you. You knew I’d screw this up, didn’t you?”
“No, I was afraid you wouldn’t find one before you got here.”
“That’s a lie and you know it. You knew I’d bring it. You just knew I was going to get something he couldn’t play with. But you know what?” I asked, placing my hand on her ass. The instant she tensed my dick felt the spasm. My hand reminded me of her welted ass. “Can we go now?” I asked, excited to dig up some treasures with the boys.
“You guys go. I’m going to clean up the kitchen,” Morgan countered, pulling away.
“Come with us. Please,” I begged.
“Fine, but you’re helping with the dishes.”
“I’d love to wash dishes with you.”
Morgan looked at me peculiarly and went to find the boys’ long pants, mumbling something about the sun shining but the air being cool. I knew she thought I was being weird. Drew didn’t volunteer to do the dishes. Drew wined like a ten-year-old boy when his wife asked him to clean up the dishes. How hard was it to scrape dirty plates and load the dishwasher? She’d ask.
“Oh my god. We have the cutest kids in the world,” Morgan exclaimed, seeing them in new jeans. The little hoodies with the sharks on the front were
adorable. Dark blue sneakers topped off their cuteness.
“Why didn’t I get new clothes?” I whined.
“Because, I don’t like you in clothes,” Morgan whispered from behind me.
The boys ran ahead of us, pushing the noisy buttons to find metal. I entwined my fingers with hers and talked to her again about Solomon and Stacy. I could tell by the side glance that she was beginning to think I was being bizarre over this little town and the laid back people that didn’t take one second for granted.
“I want to take you there.”
“Okay,” Morgan replied, half paying attention. I knew she wasn’t taking me seriously. She blew it off as small talk.
“I’m serious, let’s spend the holidays there.”
“Let’s not. What do you think about Hawaii? We haven’t been there in a while.”
“I want to take you to Center Station, New York. I want the boys to see snow and have a real Christmas.”
“A real Christmas?”
“Yeah, like where we stay in and decorate a tree.”
“Why?” she asked like I’d asked the silliest question on earth.
“Daddy!” Tadpole called, digging a hole in the sand. Morgan answered a call from Alicia and I ran ahead to catch up with the boys.
“Hold this,” I said, handing Morgan my phone, giving up. I would have to talk to her later. She wasn’t hearing a word I said.
This thing was sweet. I was finding all sorts of things for the boys to think they found. Mostly garbage, but we still put it the sandwich baggies Morgan stuffed in their little jean pockets for all their treasures.
I looked back at Morgan still on the phone and back to the boys digging for another bottle cap. Nicky was one up on Tadpole. He now had two bottle caps, a rusty nail and a hairpin. Tadpole had a bottle cap a washer and a seashell. He insisted his magic detector said it was a treasure. Whatever, it could be treasure.
I looked up at Morgan walking toward us, not understanding the look on her face. She looked pissed. Was she pissed at Alicia?
Nope…I took my phone from being crushed in my chest.
“Mr. Kris with a K would like for you to call him ASAP. He’s got another buyer for the store in New York. He needs to know if you can make it by Friday. Can you Drew? Can you make time to go buy another f—f—f store in New York without telling your wife?” It was all I could do to hold back the F bomb in front of the boys and the passing runner.
“Morgan, stop. I’m not buying that store.”
“You think I’m stupid. You think you’re going to drag me to this town close to the city and I’m going to fall in love. I’m not. I’m not going to fall in love, because the boys and I aren’t going there.”
Morgan tried to storm away, but I grabbed the back of her hoodie.
“Dad, I found somepton,” Tadpole called, bending over.
“Okay, you start digging and see what you find. Morgan, I’m not buying that store, and Center Station is on the other side of the state, near Buffalo.”
“Why did you go to New York, Drew?” Morgan asked. Dammit. I hated this look on her face. We were doing so good.
“I went there to buy the store, but it didn’t turn out that way. I don’t want to move you to New York City. I just want you to come to this town and spend the holidays with me.”
“You’re never going to learn, Drew. I don’t know why I even try. No matter how good you can be, you can always be just as bad. Why do you have to be such a sneaky, lying, conniving piece— I’m tired, Drew,” Morgan recanted before calling me a piece of shit. “You could have just ran it by me, you know, Drew? You don’t know what I would say, because you don’t care. You think Morgan is always going to do what Drew thinks is best. You think I will follow you anywhere and if you think I am going anywhere near New York, you’re sadly mistaken.”
“Morgan. It wasn’t like that,” I said, pulling her arm to keep from leaving again. I held onto her sleeve while telling the boys I’d be over in a minute.
“Did you buy a store in New York?”
“No.”
“Did you buy anything in New York?”
“This,” I tried, holding up the metal detector and got the look.
“You did. Didn’t you, Drew?”
“Morgan, just listen to me.”
“Fuck you, Drew. Fuck you and your trust me bullshit. I’m never doing that again. I’m not moving to New York. The boys and I will stay right here.”
I let her go when she jerked her arm. Morgan was pissed and it was best to let her be pissed, alone for a while. I spent at least an hour on the beach with the boys before heading back, hoping she’d be calmed down before we got back. She wasn’t.
Morgan was hanging the dishtowel on the hook when we entered. The boys ran to her with their baggies, excited to show off what they found. She wouldn’t look at me. She squatted to the floor and observed the excitement of buried junk.
“How about you guys go get a bath and mommy will wash it up for you. Bathwater’s ran,” Morgan coldly said, taking Tadpole’s hand. She still didn’t look at me. I lay across my bed and texted her while Nicky played in our tub, building a bridge out of a plastic piece of racetrack.
Drew—Morgan I swear I wasn’t trying to connive you.
Drew—I know you’ve got your phone. Please don’t be mad at me. Trust me, Morgan. I swear I’m going to make this right.
Drew—Morgan? Please?
Drew—<98767453 you.
Nothing. Morgan wasn’t speaking to me. Morgan wasn’t speaking to me through the phone or in person. If I was in one room, she went to another. If I talked to her, she answered without looking at me. She mostly watched television, talked to the boys, and texted on her phone. I was sure she was texting Alicia. I hated how she could run right to her and spill everything, but she wouldn’t talk to me.
She closed the bathroom door when she showered, shutting me out. I followed and straddled the toilet.
“Will you just stop, Drew? Leave me alone for a while.”
Seeing deep purple stripes lingering on her ass left me feeling sick. Morgan did that for me. Morgan would do anything in the world for me, and I kept fucking it up. If I could just get her to see it wasn’t intentional.
“Morgan, I swear I didn’t buy a store in the city.”
Morgan shook her head and rolled her eyes without moving, either. I read it in her eyes while she ducked her head under the water. With a frustrated groan. I squatted to her side and she pulled her soapy hand away from mine.
“I haven’t had a chance to tell you about it yet, but they have this barn that they converted into a therapy center. It’s the coolest thing ever, Morgan,” I explained. That would get her. If she saw how I was thinking about Nicky, she’d soften.
“You haven’t had a chance? You’ve been here for three days and you don’t have time to tell me that you lied, that you were off being your conniving, Drew self. You’re always going to be this Drew. You’re always going to make all the decisions, but know one thing, Drew. You’re not making them for me anymore.”
I tried to tell myself that we weren’t turning this into a fight, that I was going to keep my cool and we were going to talk. Morgan was making it hard.
“I don’t make your decisions. You do whatever you want and you know it.” Okay, that wasn’t bad. A little elevated, but not too bad. I kept it level and reminded my wife that she made plenty of her own decisions.
“Whatever, I’m not doing this,” she said, running one of those pink puff ball looking things over her body. Had I not screwed this up, that one sight of the tiny strips faintly across her ass would have already had me in there with her. I knew the guy was going to call. Why the hell did I give her my phone?
“Our boys would have been pretty disappointed today if you wouldn’t have taken care of the birthday present. That was your decision, not mine.”
Morgan stood, letting soap and water run off her body. Her angry eyes hit mine and the punches started. “That wasn
’t a decision, Drew. That was a knowing, a knowing you’d screw it up and go buy some thousand-dollar contraption because some salesman smooth-talked you. That’s all that was.”
“Okay, well I sure as hell didn’t make the decision to make you a junky.”
“Yeah, you sort of did,” Morgan accused, pulling the towel around her. “You want to live in fucking toy land and pretend like life doesn’t happen every goddamn day. That’s what you want. I can’t do that. That’s pretty low, coming from a man that I have to ask before I cut my hair.”
The higher Morgan’s voice got, the hotter my blood ran. I spun her to the door when she tried to walk away from me and held her there by her arms.
“Why do you have to make everything out to be something? Why can’t you just go with the flow and stop trying to do everything in your power to fight it,” I yelled close to her face with gritted teeth.
“Because it’s your flow, Drew. Not mine. I don’t want to float with you anymore and I don’t want to fight your current anymore. I’m going for a walk,” she said moving around me. Morgan’s voice wasn’t loud anymore. It was shaky and full of pain. I watched her swipe at the falling tear with the back of her hand and let her go.
“Morgan,” I softly spoke, trying to take her fingers. “Talk to me.”
She pulled away. “And tell you what, Drew? That I’m angry that I still have all these tears over you after all these years? I’m going for a walk.”
Normally I would have never let her take off along the beach alone after dark, but I knew I would be doing more harm than good if I tried to stop her. I watched her walk away, following her out to the deck. My eyes tailed her pissed off stomps until her silhouette disappeared. I couldn’t blame this one on Celeste. This one was all on me, my own stupidity. Now what the hell was I supposed to do?
I tried to keep my mind occupied with research on John’s dream. I was overly impressed, reading through some of the reviews of the developmental camp, before the state shut them down. John was right. He came highly recommended from people from around the country. One lady said she drove her child to the facility forty miles one way, every day. That’s how much John had helped her little boy.
An Underestimated Christmas Page 14