by A. V. Asher
Mercedes curled up on the loveseat, letting the wine and the heat from the fire lull her.
That is until Alec emerged from the bathroom.
He still wasn’t wearing a damn shirt. His dark hair was tousled from towel drying, and his scent lingered throughout the room. Tea tree and mint. It was the first time she could identify what made him smell so amazing.
Mercedes tried to focus on the glass of wine in her hand and not on how beautiful he was. He created a lovely ache in her. One she’d forgotten existed.
She took another sip of wine. Her best course of action was to polish off the glass quickly and go to bed. It would be harder to ogle him if the lights were off.
Alec had other ideas.
“Sadie, can we talk?”
Mercedes’s heart sank. “Do we have to? We talked in the car.”
“I need to tell you what happened with Mariah.”
Jealousy clawed at her gut. She had no right to feel it. Alec wasn’t hers. He never had been. Her brain understood this. But her heart refused to feel nothing.
Mercedes shot a glance at him, the refusal on her tongue, but his expression caught her attention. His eyebrows were pinched tight, his jaw clenched. In fact, his entire body was radiating tension.
Maybe he was right. Better to get it over with now.
Mercedes stood and walked to the dresser. Setting the wineglass down on top of it, she turned and leaned against it. “Alright.” She crossed her arms and waited.
Relief crossed his face, and he jumped right in. “She wasn’t lying. We had a relationship. It wasn’t serious, mainly just . . .” He stopped, clearly not knowing what to say next.
“Just banging?” she supplied helpfully.
Alec flushed. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Look, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but you don’t have to tell me anything about your relationship with her. It isn’t my business.” It was breaking her apart to hear about it.
“You seemed pretty upset.”
“I was, I am. It’s just . . . I had thought we were . . .” What did she think they were? “When Mason and Shake told me you couldn’t come for a few more days, I was disappointed. I’d been looking forward to seeing you. I thought you felt the same.”
Alec’s eyes softened.
“And right before she showed up, you were about to . . .” Mercedes’s voice choked off. The moment replayed in her mind. There was no way she misread what happened.
“I was going to kiss you,” he finished for her.
The confirmation hit her in the chest. At least she hadn’t imagined it. “Then she comes in, and I realize you’d been with her. It stung,” she admitted.
“I didn’t sleep with her.”
“Again, you don’t have anything to . . .”
“I was disappointed too,” he said. “I’d thought of little else but getting back to you. But Jason had come to my office, and it wasn’t safe to come out yet. So when Mariah invited me out, I thought it would provide more of a cover. She and I hadn’t been . . . you know, in months.”
Her heart wrenched again. “So, you’re saying you went out with her for me?”
Alec scoffed. “Aye, I know how it sounds. But I swear, it’s why I did it. I’ve no interest in her.”
“But she knew you’d be there.”
“Aye.” He nodded. “She saw we’d blocked off the safehouse for a time and asked about it. It’s not an unusual question, but I lied to her anyway. If I had told her the truth, Jason would have found you that night. And I wouldn’t have been there.”
Mercedes took this in. She’d always known Jason had a long reach. When she’d try to leave, there was always someone there to help him.
A thought occurred to her, and she frowned. “How long do you think she was working for Jason?”
Alec winced and looked down.
Her heart dropped. “You don’t know, do you?”
He shook his head, his lips tight. “I have a few theories.”
“What would those be?”
“Best case scenario is he met her and paid her off in the last two weeks.”
“And the worst case?”
Alec’s brows furrowed. “You would have just been moving to London when I first met her.”
Ice hit her veins. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “You think he planted her months ago?”
“Given what I’ve seen, it’s possible.”
Why? Why would Jason even think to do something like that?
Mercedes pressed the tips of her fingers to her forehead, taking a moment to breathe. When she looked back up at Alec, most of her anger had slipped away. It was replaced with guilt. She’d dropped into Alec’s life and brought a shitstorm with her.
“God, I’m sorry, Alec.”
He tilted his head at her. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”
“But it is. I knew . . .” She stopped herself. “You didn’t ask for any of this.”
Alec was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was tight. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I first heard your voice again.”
“You haven’t?” The oxygen was swept from the room, leaving her dizzy.
Alec took a step toward her. “At the shop, I asked to see you again, even though you were with someone else because I enjoy spending time with you. I was willing to be friends with him if that meant I got to see you. That’s how much I want you in my life.”
He swallowed. “When I found out what he’d done to you, all I could think of was getting to you. I had to see with my own eyes you were alive.” He shook his head, his brows drawn together. “I honestly don’t know that I could have walked away if you had told me to go.”
A silence fell between them. Mercedes’s breath had grown shallow, and her heart pounded in her ears.
“I knew he was jealous of you,” she said. “And that when we moved to London, you were off-limits. He told me more than once. I knew, and I called you anyway. But I thought the consequences would be mine.”
Alec cast his eyes away, his brows knitted together.
“The truth is.” The words were getting harder to say through the tightness in her throat. “He was right to be jealous of you.”
Alec’s head snapped up. “He was?” he whispered, his blue eyes wide, searching her face.
“If I’d had a notion you would ever want to be with me, I’d have . . .”
“You’d what?” His voice had grown rough.
Mercedes blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. There was no turning back. “He never stood a chance against you.”
Alec closed the distance between them. She only had time for a hitched breath before his mouth was taking hers. She responded immediately, opening to him. His tongue relentlessly stroked hers, working her. Each lash a promise of what he could do. She moaned into his mouth. Alec groaned, deepening the kiss.
It was everything she needed. No matter the lies she told herself, this was what she’d wanted. To feel his body against her, his kiss taking what belonged to him.
The slam of a distant door made his body tense, and he broke away. His eyes darted to the door, and his labored breathing stilled. Mercedes’s heart thundered in the quiet. She waited for some sort of sign of what was happening.
Laughter carried down the hall, and Alec’s straining muscles relaxed. It was other guests returning to their rooms.
He looked at her as if he just realized she was wrapped in his arms. Her hand was intertwined in his hair, and she ran fingers through it.
There was conflict written all over his face. Did he regret kissing her? She hoped not. It had been the best part of her year.
Alec moaned and kissed her again. Mercedes answered him, desperate to sate the hunger she had for him. The hard ridge of him pressed against her. Making her aching and ready. Kissing wasn’t enough. She wanted more.
Her heart sank when he pulled back this time, gently eas
ing her away from him, his breathing ragged. “Sadie, we have to stop.”
“What?”
“Shit. I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Alec stepped away from her, his face turned away. When he finally looked at her, there was turmoil brewing in his eyes. “Damn it. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
A crack formed in her heart. “Why not?”
“Because I fucked up today.” Alec’s mouth moved, but the words seemed trapped. “And you nearly died.” He paced the room.
When he turned back, frustration was written across his face. “All the mistakes I made, every single one, was because my thoughts were of you.” His voice was thick. “I should have heard Mariah coming up the steps. I didn’t. Because I couldn’t think of anything but kissing you. I should have seen her reaction to your name or the way she watched you. But I didn’t. Because I was worried about how what she was saying might hurt you.”
Alec pulled his hand through his hair. “And I should have realized Jason was on his way. But I didn’t. Because I was so scared you were going to walk out of my life again, and I couldn’t bear it.”
His words lay between them, and she tried to make sense of them. He thought it a mistake to kiss her, but it scared him to lose her. They were in direct conflict with one another.
Alec stared into the fire. She ached to go to him, to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him.
Instead, she put her hand on his. “Alec . . .”
“I almost shot you tonight, Sadie.”
Her stomach dropped to the floor. “What?” she whispered.
“He had you. And you were going to die.” Alec’s eyes squeezed shut. “If you hadn’t stabbed him, I’d have done it.”
Mercedes stepped back, the twisting in her gut leaving her dizzy.
Alec turned to her. “When I’m with you, I can’t think straight. Look what distraction almost cost us. I have to focus everything I have on protecting you. I can never be that desperate again.”
He leaned down and kissed her on her cheek. “Goodnight, Sadie.” And he stepped past her to the bed he’d made on the floor.
Heat rose to her cheeks. She’d been dismissed.
The room was hot and stifling. Mercedes grabbed her sweater and headed for the door. “I need some air.”
“Wait. I’ll go too.”
“No,” she said. “I need a moment away from you.”
“I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry . . .”
“Upset?” Humiliated was probably a better word. “Jesus, Alec. I’ve lost everything. I’ve been beaten and left for dead. My psycho ex keeps trying to kill me, and I’m terrified. All the time.” A sob left her chest. She took in as much air as she could to calm it. “I don’t have the emotional storage to deal with more heartache. If you can’t decide what I am to you, then don’t touch me again.”
Mercedes turned and was out the door before he could say anything else.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The force of the door closing behind her echoed down the corridor, making Mercedes wince. She tried to fill her lungs with air that wasn’t interwoven with Alec’s scent. Throwing her hoodie over her shoulders, Mercedes strode down the stairs and across the lobby, spotting an exit with a sign to the garden.
Perfect.
The whoosh of night air soothed her heated cheeks, and she sucked in the floral scent. The path opened up to a patio with a large firepit at its center. Sitting on one of the chairs, she drew her knees to her chest, her arms holding them tight.
A bitter recounting of all the ways her life had collapsed in the last three years ran through her mind. She fought back the tears. Each trauma weighing down her heart.
It was too much. She was falling apart.
Mercedes touched her lips, imprinted with the scalding heat of Alec’s mouth commanding hers. Why the hell would he kiss her like that if he didn’t want her?
There was more to it than just keeping her safe. She’d felt him resisting, even in the moments before the doorbell.
It had never been that way before. Three years ago, she hadn’t questioned how much he wanted her. He’d gone out of his way to be near her, to see her wherever there was an opportunity. Then there were the come-fuck-me eyes they tossed at each other across a crowded room. Flirting was one thing, but the first time he’d kissed her was forever seared in her mind.
As the pre-wedding madness descended on Edinburgh, Mercedes had found herself overwhelmed with the size of the McKinley family. Luke and Charlotte were meeting with the clergyman that morning, and Mercedes had been looking forward to catching some much-needed sleep and maybe exploring the city after. That was until Alec called and invited her on a hike. She wasn’t exactly outdoorsy, but spending the day with Alec was definitely appealing.
“There aren’t any bears where we’re going, are there?” she asked, only partially kidding. Bears freaked her out.
Alec pulled a pack out of the trunk of the car. “Oh, aye. We’ll have to be careful. Big bastards and vicious too.” His blue eyes were wide and serious. “They say their claws can cut right through metal.” He tapped the hood of the car.
Holy shit.
His lips twisted up into an impish smile.
Mercedes gasped. “That’s not funny.” She gave his shoulder a gentle punch, laughing despite herself.
Alec chuckled. “Oh, I disagree. It’s very funny.”
“Go easy on me. My idea of a hike is a walking trail in Golden Gate Park. I’m a total novice here.”
The rustle of a nearby bush made her heart jump. She grabbed his arm, ready to bolt to the car.
Alec wrapped his arm around her waist and laughed. “It’s just a squirrel.”
Mercedes held her breath until a red-coated squirrel burst from the bush and scurried up the neighboring tree. “Oh my god, he’s so cute. He’s different from the ones at home.”
Alec hadn’t let go of her waist. Mercedes met his gaze, not stepping away. He was so close. She swallowed hard. “Are you sure there aren’t any bears here?”
A smile played on his lips. “Quite sure.”
“How do you know?”
Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. “Because there aren’t any bears in all of Scotland.”
His voice had a gentle hum to it that made her breathless. Until she registered what he said. She popped back in surprise, her eyebrows furrowed. “Really? None?”
Alec chuckled. “I promise, Sadie. You’ll be safe.” He slid his palm down her arm, interlacing his fingers with hers. He shot her a look, silently asking if his touch was okay. She parted her lips, squeezing his hand in response.
Walking through the wilderness with a tall, handsome Scotsman was an experience she hadn’t known she needed in her life, but there she was. Maybe she should take up hiking after all.
They talked the whole way, laughing and teasing one another. Occasionally, he’d help her with a tricky step, his touches lingering on her longer than necessary. Not that she minded. The constant flickering in her soul made it clear how smitten she’d become.
As they rounded a bend in the pathway, they came up to a stair-stepped waterfall hidden amongst the dense green foliage. Mercedes stopped, her mouth agape.
“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.
“Aye, it is,” he said softly, his gaze on her. A flush rose on her cheeks.
Alec led her to a crop of rocks on the riverbank at the base of the falls. The breeze carried an occasional mist of spray to her face. He found a large boulder to sit on, turning Mercedes to settle in front of him. The feel of his powerful arms folded around her kindled a deep burn in her core. Taking slow, deep breaths, she was lulled by his clean, earthy scent mixed with the water and trees around them—a moment of perfection.
“What is this thing you do with your fingers?” Alec murmured in her ear. She froze. She hadn’t realized she had been tapping her rhythm on his wrist.
Mercedes bit her cheek. “Sorry. It’s a weird thing I do.”
P
ulling their hands up to examine them, his fingers ran slowly up and down the length of hers. “There’s a pattern to it, isn’t there? I’ve watched you do it several times. It isn’t random.”
A shot of warmth ran through her. Alec had to have watched her for a while to know she did that.
“Sometimes, a song comes to my mind, and my fingers itch to play it.”
The stroke of his touch electrified her, distracting her from what she was saying. “Ah, I heard that about you. You can play all sorts of instruments, and you’re quite good.”
Mercedes smiled. “Something like that, I guess.” Alec’s fingertips brushed her wrists, making her voice husky. “I have synesthesia. It’s hard to describe, but music comes to me easily. Sometimes I lose myself in it.”
“So what song were you playing?”
She shivered as he nuzzled against her, his breath soft against her cheek. “It wasn’t anything that’s been written.” She shot him a shy smile. Most people never noticed her weird quirk. “It was the waterfall. The sound of the water tumbling over the rocks makes a rhythm. I was adding to it.”
Alec turned her chin to face him. “You’re incredible.” The rumble of his words made her exhale sharply.
She scoffed. “I don’t know ab—”
Alec dipped his head and kissed her, his soft mouth teasing hers. He broke away, his eyes piercing, his hand on her cheek. “Incredible,” he repeated, barely above a whisper.
Mercedes let out a shuddering breath as his mouth crashed onto hers. There was no hesitation in his kiss but a demand she was ready to match. The roar of the waterfall fell aside, mingling with the rushing heartbeat in her ears. Mercedes let out a gentle moan, opening to him. Delicious heat rushed through her as he caressed her tongue with his.
Alec responded with a groan of his own, bringing his fist into her hair. The fire he ignited shifted into an inferno, making her eager for more. She burned for him to slide his fingers between her thighs, to massage the ache he was creating.
The sound of approaching hikers was the only thing that kept her from allowing scandalous acts to be done to her in public. He tore his searing kiss away, his soft pants arousing her even more.