by Kathy Lyons
“You said you were bound to me. What exactly does that mean?”
“It’s about the magic,” he began. But then she rolled her eyes as she looked away and he had to grip her arm tighter to get her to listen. “I know you think it’s stupid. I know you don’t believe, but you didn’t believe in shifters yesterday either. What don’t you believe in today that you will tomorrow?”
She wrinkled her nose at him. It was pretty adorable, but her words were serious enough when she spoke. “Fair point, but you’re fighting an entire lifetime of conditioning here. Science is real. Magic is superstition.”
“Yeah, I know. You don’t have to call it magic. Hell, it could be a really amped-up biological imperative to make special babies. We don’t know why, but it’s real.”
“The bonding.”
“It’s not uncommon for a shifter to lock on a person. Like really lock on. Base-of-the spine, gut-instinct, completely-without-rational-thought lock on.”
“How long does it last?”
Hank squirmed with that. He didn’t want to answer, so he took the distraction of his exit to maneuver the car down to his neighborhood. Everything looked quiet from where they were cruising through, but there was evidence of problems. A few broken windows, police tape, and at least a half dozen people peering nervously out windows.
“Hank? How long does it last?”
“It’s lifelong.”
“A permanent mating. Like with apes and wolves.”
He nodded. “Also swans, eagles, and beavers.”
“And others,” she said, her voice softening. “Lots of other species…” She looked at him, her eyes wide and a little frightened. “So that’s why we…that was last night…why I…”
“It’s one sided, Cecilia. Just on the shifter side.” He looked her straight in the eye. “On my side. But it was powerful and that’s how I knew if we did it, you’d get pregnant. Magic does shit like that. Condom breaks, birth control fails. Hell, if it’s really strong, you get twins or triplets.”
She shuddered at the thought and it was like she’d put a knife in his gut. The idea of having his children was physically repulsive to her and that cut. It cut deep.
“But it was strong for me, too.”
“As far as we can tell, it’s always on the shifter side.” He tried to smile, but he doubted he did a good job of it. “We’re the magical creatures. Normals are…well, normal.”
“But I wanted to with you. I mean I really wanted—”
“That’s sometimes happens in really stressful situations. Soldiers will react that way and—”
She held up her hand, and he cut off his words with a click of his jaws. He stayed silent while she stared out at his neighborhood. He’d barely gone a block before she started again.
“So I chose last night, but you…you were forced?”
“No! I wanted—”
“You said magic forced you. Magic wants the babies and all.”
He grimaced. “Um, yeah.”
“So how do you know that what you felt last night was real? I mean, it could be biology, right? Magical biology, but still biology. No choice at all.”
He was silent as he pulled into his spot under an aging carport. And while he put his car into park, he thought about last night. Had he chosen her with his mind? Had he wanted her because he liked her? Or because her scent, her taste, her body made him lust like never before?
And in the silence, he felt her touch his arm. It was a light caress, but his entire forearm reacted to it. His muscles twitched, his skin heated, and his nostrils flared as he inhaled her scent. He wasn’t reacting to her personality. This was biology, just as she said.
“Hank, I’m so sorry.”
That was not what he wanted to hear from her. Not an apology. Not an admission that he’d locked on to her purely out of animal need. He was a thinking man who had learned the value of control. He did not want to believe he had no choice in a mate. He liked her as a person. She was smart and she wore blindingly bright clothes. And she hadn’t cowered in the fight. Wasn’t that enough to say that he’d chosen her?
No.
This was magic, pure and simple. And it was because she and he would make strong magical babies. That was always the result of a true bonding.
He turned to look at her. “You still have free will, Cecilia. You don’t have to choose me.”
She arched a brow. “I think I did last night.”
“But that was stress and yeah, maybe there was biological imperative involved. But it’s not a life sentence for you.”
“But it is for you?”
He shrugged. “Simon says not.”
“But you say yes.”
He didn’t know how to answer that. In the end, he took the coward’s way out. “I say that I need to change my clothes and get some things from my apartment. I need you to come with me. I can’t leave you out here.”
She looked around the parking lot. It all seemed safe and quiet. But he knew that bad things could strike anytime, even in broad daylight.
“Please don’t fight me on this. I really need to keep you nearby.”
“This the magic thing again?”
He shrugged. “It’s my job to keep you safe. You’re the only shifter-aware doctor in Detroit right now. We need you.”
She frowned. “That can’t be true.”
“It’s not,” he admitted. “But the others are pediatricians, a dentist, and a podiatrist. Not much help.”
“You’d be surprised.” Then before he could say more, she held up her hand. “I’ll go up with you, Hank, if you promise to get me their names and numbers.”
He frowned at her. “You know you could get those from us just by asking, right?”
She sighed. “I was teasing you. Trying to lighten the mood. Don’t shifters make jokes?”
“Of course, we make jokes. We’re just like everybody else. Except for—”
“Going furry. And magical bonding. And gang territories in Detroit.”
“Humans have that last one. And some normals are pretty hairy, too.”
“Fair point. So is there a reason we’re still sitting in your car debating this? Why aren’t we already up in your apartment?”
He sighed. God, she was smart, but she needed to know it all. “Because the minute I get you up there, in my place…my den, so to speak, I’m going to be on you like white on rice.”
She blinked. “What?”
“If this is all magic or biology, then I won’t be able to stop myself. I’m going to want to make babies with you like it’s my primary reason for living. Which it will be. To propagate the species and all.”
Her eyes widened. “Um, so why am I going up there?”
He shrugged. “We have to know, don’t we?” Then he amended his statement. “I’d really like to know if I’m bonded that deeply to you already.”
“We just met twelve hours ago.”
He didn’t answer. Just held her gaze until she sighed.
“So, tell me what you want me to do.”
“Ever shot a Taser before?”
Chapter 14
Hank lived on the third floor of a very modest apartment complex. Given his size and health, they could have been on the upper floor in a matter of minutes, but he went to the basement first to check on the washing machines and furnace, then door by door to make sure everyone was okay.
It didn’t take a few minutes. It took an hour, which actually was okay by Cecilia. It allowed her to watch him interact with the tenants. He was unfailingly kind, accepted grouchy comments and complaints with aplomb, and even hugged a few babies while he was at it. Every few doors, he’d ask Cecilia if she minded if he took another few minutes for him to check on Mrs. So-and-So or Mr. This-and-That. He’d tell her something quick about each one, introduce her, then get pulled into a discussion about whatever was going on in their lives. He always reminded them not to drink the water as he added their to-do tasks to his phone, and then on to the next door.
>
More than one female tenant gave her a thumbs-up behind Hank’s back and whispered, “He’s a good ’un.”
Yeah, she was beginning to see that.
By the time she made it up to his apartment, she’d forgotten she had a Taser in her lab coat pocket. And wasn’t it weird that not a single person commented on the blood splatter?
“So, you’re popular,” she drawled as he finally opened his door. It wasn’t even locked, and that startled her even more.
“I’m the building superintendent. A good one is always popular.”
She cried bullshit on that. He cared about the people in the building and made sure they were okay. That wasn’t just being good at his job, that was being a good person. She might have made a comment, but she was too busy being stunned by his apartment.
First and foremost, there was a mile-high stack of water bottle cases by the door. He grimaced as he looked at it then sighed.
“I told them to just come up to my apartment to get these. I left the door unlocked for them. But some of them can’t climb or carry so well and others…” He shook his head. “Well, they’re just lazy.”
“Because they know you’ll cart it down for them?”
He shrugged as he hefted three cases. “I’ll just be—”
“A minute. Yeah, I know.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to lie. I meant to come right up here, but then I thought I better check on—”
She waved him into silence. “Take your time. I’ll just work on my phone.” And she would have. Except, of course, looking around his apartment was much more interesting.
She didn’t know what she expected. Something like her own messy two-bedroom apartment back in Atlanta. Dishes in the sink, half-dead plant, papers and books everywhere, not to mention an embarrassing laundry pile. Even her hotel room looked like that, minus the plant. She had not expected to step into a Japanese Zen garden.
The furniture—what there was of it—was minimal. A bed, a small table with four chairs, and large cushions for people to sit on while drinking tea. There were books in a low bookcase, a high-end tablet, and plants. Lots of little plants in tiny planters next to a zillion rock gardens with tiny Zen rakes for the sand. And, by the way, all of the sand had pristine patterns around the rocks and miniature toys. She saw army soldiers near a Hello Kitty who drank tea with a troll.
She tried to picture it. Big man with a scar using his huge hands to pull a tiny rake through the sand around a Hello Kitty doll. It didn’t fit. Well, it didn’t fit until she added one of the kids from downstairs. Little Kaylee who had pigtails and a dress with juice stains on it. Put her next to Hank and Cecilia could absolutely see it. And she would bet her next paycheck that the toy soldier came from one the little boys she’d met on the second floor. The elderly woman on the first floor had asked about the air plant she’d given Hank for Christmas, and he had responded that it held a place of honor. She looked around. Ah, right over there at the window. It had to be one of a dozen tillandsias basking in the sunlight in a coiled wire hanger.
Wow. Talk about not judging a book by its cover. Hank defied any stereotype she could imagine. Which didn’t surprise her at all. Nothing he’d done in the last twelve hours was even remotely predictable, though he’d always been quiet and steady, even in the most heated times. Kind of like he had the peace of a Zen master or what she imagined a Zen master would be. She’d never met one. But given the number of books about Buddhism and meditation on his shelf, she’d bet he had. They filled the bookshelf along with medical textbooks.
And way back in the corner, half covered by a well-tended fern, were two pictures. One of him in his unit. He was grinning and mock choking the guy next to him. And another of what had to be his family. Mom, dad, the older brother he’d mentioned, and an older sister with pigtails of her own and a very serious expression.
“That’s was taken a year before my brother died.” His voice was quiet, but she didn’t even jump. He filled her thoughts so much, of course he would be standing behind her when the questions started piling up. And he would start with the biggest one in her mind. She’d wondered when the photo had been taken and where his family was now.
“Your brother seems so happy here.” She turned to look in his eyes. He stood so close, crowding her against the bookcase, but not in a scary way. His eyes were serious, his expression sad, but she didn’t feel any tension off him. Just answers. And a need to touch her as he stroked her arm.
“He was always moody. Happy-go-lucky one moment, then steeped in dark thoughts the next. It got worse when adolescence hit. Plus, shifters get antsy. There’s a kids’ camp in Gladwin for just this kind of thing. It’s run by the grizzlies, but all shifters are welcome.”
“He didn’t go?”
“He did. But then a few months later, he went to hang out with the Griz. Got into a pissing match with the leader at the time. A big asshole named Nanook.”
Her brows arched. “Like Nanook of the North? From that old documentary?”
He shrugged. “Guess so. The bastard was powerful and touchy as hell. Roy never came home.”
“I’m sorry.” She touched his chest and his muscles rippled beneath her fingertips. “Were you close?”
“We were brothers.”
Not an answer. She and one of her brothers never spoke because he was an ass. But the answer was in the way his gaze lingered on the photo and the quiet yearning that echoed in the air between them. Was she imagining it? Or did she really feel that?
“What about the rest of your family?”
“Mom and Dad split up after Roy died. Dad was never comfortable with shifter stuff, and this was the last straw. He passed from a heart attack a couple years ago. Mom’s the shifter. She moved to Traverse City soon afterwards.”
“More wild places to roam?”
His lips curled into a soft smile. “Better skiing. She’s started freeheeling it since she got tired of snowboarding.”
Of course, she did. “And your sister?”
“In Alaska right now studying wolves. It’s the family shame. You’d think she’d be interested in bears, but no. It’s all about the dogs for her.”
“Is she a shifter, too?”
He nodded. “But not a strong one. She had her first change at nineteen and then never since.”
He took the picture from her hand and gently set it back in its place. She was about to ask about his unit and the guy he was fake choking, but he didn’t give her the chance. He stroked her cheek and his eyes turned dark and hungry. She thought for a moment of the Taser in her pocket, but she didn’t grab it. She didn’t feel any threat from him. Just the same hungry intensity that simmered inside her.
“I like you here among my things,” he said. “I like you looking at my family and not shying away when I touch you.”
She didn’t know how to answer that. Especially since her mouth was dry and her heart was hammering in her throat. And yet, deep inside, she was calm. Quiet. As if this was exactly how it was supposed to be.
“Is this the magic?” she whispered.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”
It should. It absolutely should. She wanted to believe that her emotions were her own. Her desire, her interest, even the throbbing in her womb. She wanted those to come from inside, not some mystical force.
“Hank—”
“Do you have the Taser?”
“You know I do.” He’d given it to her and made her put on her lab coat to hide it in her pocket.
“Good. Grab it and be ready.”
She pulled back so she could look at him more squarely. “You want me to Tase you?”
“I want you to hold it.” He took a deep breath, and damn it, it was hard not to notice how his chest expanded and his shoulders stretched wide. “I’m going to kiss you, Cecilia. I’m going to kiss you once, and then I’m going to go take a cold shower.” He paused. “Is that okay?”
“Um, I think the cold shower is going to suck
.”
His expression lightened and his lips curved up. “Yeah it will. But if I can leave you alone, then I’m in control. I can walk away from you because that will be my choice.”
She nodded, understanding where he was going. But what if she didn’t want him to walk away. “What if I…what if I can’t control myself? What if the magic is too strong for me?”
Then his lips did widen into a smile. “Then I’ll tie you up and go take my cold shower.” He arched a brow. “Unless you want the shower?”
She shook her head. “I’ll take the kiss and no more.” At least that was her plan. And she knew it would be just as much of a test for her as it was for him. They had to know that they controlled themselves. That they were the ones who…
Her mind was still talking, but her body was completely ignoring her. She’d already put her hands on his shoulders and was drawing him in close. Her lips met his eagerly, moving in a wholly instinctive way. She touched their mouths together, feeling his breath, the texture of his lips, and the way he smiled just as they met. She wanted to push forward hard, but he kept himself back, and he held her in place with his hands on her hips.
Hot hands like brands on her hips. Hot lips moving across hers, teasing with his tongue and teeth as he nipped at her lips but didn’t push inside.
Damn it, it was frustrating! She wanted a kiss, not a tease, but he would not be hurried. And when she was just about to say something, he spoke in that low growly tone that she felt at the base of her spine.
“I only get one,” he said. “I want to make it good.”
“I’m an all or nothing kind of girl,” she answered. She’d always been that way. Completely into her current project or unconscious. Completely in a book, oblivious to all, or eating something while surfing the Internet. This slow windup was driving her crazy, but she had to respect a man who took his time. Mostly because she hadn’t known they existed.
And since he wasn’t going for the gusto, she might as well. So she stuck out her tongue, coiling it underneath his top lip, pressing it against his teeth, doing whatever she could to speed up this process. Because suddenly, her breasts were heavy and aching, her womb was pulsing like the prelude to a great orgasm, and…wow, even her toes had curled tight in her shoes.