by Kathy Lyons
He was forever destined to love her. Zen detachment was gone. If she hurt, he would hurt. If she was frightened, he would destroy what scared her. If she was happy, then he would throw confetti and cheer as if she stood on the gold medal platform at the Olympics.
He was hers. Forever. Whether she wanted him or not.
His knees went weak as he started to see the ramifications of what had just happened. He understood now why there were stories of bonded shifters who went crazy. His body, mind, and soul abruptly depended on her. He could not have peace unless she was at peace. He would not experience joy unless she was happy. He could not exist except in a space where she too lived and thrived.
His breath shortened as he adjusted to the chains. His mind, however, still reeled. What if she didn’t return his affection? What if she saw him as a big, dumb black guy and ditched him tomorrow? What if she was kind now, but then left when the crisis was over? When the Detroit Flu ended and she was sent off to somewhere else to fight a different outbreak? What then?
He didn’t have many friends and no family nearby, but he still had a life here. If she left, he would go with her. No question. He’d abandon his home, the people in the building he cared for, and he’d walk away from the Griz—his shifter clan—without even looking back. He had to be near her. He had to be able to give her anything she wanted, whenever she wanted. And he would be grateful for her attention. A slave to her for the rest of his life.
His hands shook, and he had to grip the doorknob for support. He was a man, damn it, not a lapdog. A powerful man with a strong mind who had always forged his own way. He’d gone through his shifter adolescence with a measure of control that his brother hadn’t found. He’d gone to war and seen such destruction there, but had found Zen peace in the midst of atrocity. And even back here in Detroit when Nanook had compelled him with a special mind-fuck ability to go on drug runs, he had found his own thin road through. He never killed anyone, only stood there as an apparent threat. And if Simon hadn’t defeated Nanook, then Hank would have made his own run at alpha. In truth, he’d been prepared to attack on the very day that Simon showed up.
He was slave to no one!
And yet, he was to her. And that thought brought him to his knees.
“Hank?”
She noticed his change. Even with her nose in her work, she still noticed him. That brought him a little comfort until he realized that she wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were on Abby.
He looked over and immediately went on alert. It was hard to shift away from his own personal crisis, but Cecilia was in danger now, and that snapped him into lightning focus. Abby was about to change. She’d probably heard the gunshots and had her adrenaline spike enough to kick her over.
Her hands were knotted into fists, and her breath came in short pants. Her eyes were narrowing, and her lips were pulled back in a growl. She was about to shift, but was it into a black bear or a hybrid? And would she have any brain left when she was done?
Hank straightened to his full height. Cecilia had set her tablet down and stood as well, but he edged her behind him toward the door. There was precious little room to maneuver in here. He would have to keep Abby contained and calm—and bring her back—all in a space barely large enough for a hamster.
“Mom?”
Brittany was paying attention. Faster than her father who was still too deeply settled in his denial and his own tablet.
Hank spoke quietly to Brittany. He needed her to understand and not freak. “She’s showing you that she can change, too. She’s shifting into a black bear. Don’t be frightened. It’s normal.”
Abby’s eyes started to bulge out and there was panic in her gaze. Shifting could be painful, the first time even more so. It felt like your body was shattering as it went to an energy state, but it was only your thoughts that actually broke. All those notions of who you are and what your body is burst with a very real psychic pain. At least that’s how he’d felt. Abby, too, apparently, because her mouth split wide in a scream.
Her husband leapt up. Even he couldn’t ignore a woman’s bellow.
Cecilia was at the door, abruptly jerking it open to scream out into the hallway. “Everything’s fine here! We’re just having a discussion. Don’t come shooting! Do not call security!” Then she slammed the door again and blocked it shut with her body. “Your turn, Hank. I’ll hold them off as long as I can.”
He wanted to laugh. There was no taking turns like in a game. This was Abby’s show. It all depended on how she handled sharing her rational mind with the animal inside. And nobody did that well the first time, but he did try to help.
He held up his hands and spoke clearly. “You’re okay, Abby. Just go with the change. This is how it’s done.”
Fur was sprouting all over her face and body. Black fur infused with a golden glow that would disappear once the change settled. Her nose was elongating as her face became darker, thicker, and distinctly bearlike. She growled at him, the sound low and threatening. And then her chest started expanding, hips, then legs.
Only the first change went this slow. Soon, she’d get the hang of doing this almost instantaneously. But for right now, it was like every part of her popped in individual sequence. And with every change, she released a sound of half anger, half agony. Which is when Hank realized that she’d made a classic new-shifter mistake.
Her clothing was too tight. He’d checked that before. She had on a loose blouse that ripped easily, pants with an elastic waistband that adjusted though it looked pretty silly on a big bear, and cheap sandals that broke the second her feet started expanding. But he forgot about her bra.
Her eyes narrowed, and she looked down at her chest. Her claws started ripping at the heavy elastic, shredding the blouse and drawing blood through her furred chest. She cut it slightly, but then she must have really looked at her hands, now big furred claws. She drew back in shock, her head tossing back as she roared again, but that only banged her against the equipment there.
Meanwhile, her husband bolted upright and started screaming. No big surprise. His wife was now a bear. But that was nothing compared to what Brittany did. She went full hybrid, and the stench nearly brought Hank to his knees. It certainly made her father start choking. She also leapt out of bed, disconnecting all her monitors in the process, which began a series of beeps and bings. And then she saw her own arms. She’d been pointing at her mother, but with furry arms and clawed hands. Which began a whole other series of screams of horror.
Hank tried to divide his attention. He didn’t want to take his focus from her mother. Abby was the most dangerous one here at three-hundred-plus pounds of panicked bear, but Brittany was equally lethal with her claws and younger mind. At least Abby’s mind understood what was going on.
Thankfully, Cecilia kept her head. “You stay with Abby. I’ve got the other two.”
He wanted to shout her a warning, but he didn’t have a chance. Not with Abby spinning around as machines blared at her. She had no special awareness of her body and her bra chose that moment to snap in half, ricocheting painfully into her arm. She threw her arm over her head with a roaring yelp and then banged into another monitor.
Meanwhile, Cecilia faced the other family members and snapped at them in her doctor voice.
“Settle down this instant!”
Would have been better if she hadn’t started gagging. God, Brittany sure could turn on the BO. At least the father was out of danger. He’d dropped to his knees as he retched into the biohazard wastebasket.
Abby turned to her husband, but Hank waved his hand to get her attention. Then he let fly with his best boot camp sergeant imitation.
“Freeze, now!”
At least he got it out without coughing, though the stench in this closed room was making his eyes water. Better yet, Abby’s gaze locked on his.
“Abby! You understand what happened?”
The bear straightened to her full height, but then couldn’t keep her balance. It was hard to ma
nage in a body suddenly so different. She only remained upright for a couple seconds, and then she teetered forward. She was going to fall and he needed to get out of the way fast.
“The bed,” he said as he pointed at it. “Fall forward onto the bed.”
She did. It was clumsy, but she managed it. And more than that, he now knew that she had kept control of her mind. The bear wasn’t in control, her thinking mind was. Excellent. There’d be more adjustment, but for the moment, he could work with that.
Thankfully, Cecilia had gotten Brittany past her initial terror. She was still panting, the whites of her eyes way too present, but she was staring at her mother, not her own body. Way better to focus on how her mother had changed. Cecilia was talking, her voice low but clear now that Abby had stopped roaring and Peter had stopped retching.
“That’s your mother, Brittany. She can change into a bear. Just like she told you.”
Brittany swung her face to Cecilia, shaking her head in denial.
“Don’t give me that crap, young lady,” Cecilia snapped. “You see it. You know it. Don’t be willfully blind. That’s your mother, and she needs you.”
Abby didn’t need Brittany. In fact, she’d taken this massive risk just to help Brittany. But whatever got through to the girl was fine by him. And apparently saying her mother was in trouble worked because Brittany slowly got it together. Her breath evened out and her arms dropped as she stared at the bear leaning on top of her bed. Which is when the father finally looked up from the waste can enough to process his surroundings.
“My God,” he breathed.
“Nope,” Cecilia said almost cheerfully. “That’s your wife. Don’t be an ass and abandon her.” Then she turned to Brittany. “She did this for you, remember?” She squeezed Brittany’s huge furred arm. “She didn’t need to do this. It was really hard and scary for her, right?” Cecilia glanced at Hank.
He nodded. “And painful. First shifts suck.”
“But she did it for you both. So you would see that it’s not scary. It’s a good thing. Pretty cool, actually, right?”
He didn’t expect Abby to answer, but she did. The bear opened her mouth and did a kind of soft grunt—very restrained and very anxious—but it got through to Brittany.
“Mommy!” she cried then suddenly she was climbing onto the bed with her mother and throwing her arms around Abby’s neck.
Perfect, right? Would be except for the heavy bangs on the room door. “Dr. Lu! Dr. Lu! Open up.”
Cecilia turned to bellow out the door. “We’re fine! Stay back!”
Hank worried that they wouldn’t listen, but a moment later, things quieted down on the other side of the door. Apparently, Cecilia’s doctor voice carried true authority. Meanwhile, it was now up to Peter. Would he accept the evidence of his own eyes? Just how much did he love his wife and child? Maybe not enough, given how much he was staring.
It was as if the words were written on the man’s face. An endless stream of: This can’t be true, this can’t be true.
Hank wanted to shake him. He wanted to force the man to really accept what he was seeing, but he knew that any distraction would likely make matters worse. The battle was all in Peter’s head now and at the moment, it was fifty-fifty which side would win.
Mother and daughter noticed. Brittany still had her bear arms wrapped around her mother’s neck. Her lower half had gone bear, too, which was just as well given that she was in her hospital gown. Abby was nuzzling her child, making soothing bear purrs as her tongue licked long swaths across Brittany’s forehead revealing the girl’s bear ears. But the longer Peter stayed silent, the more the two noticed that he wasn’t part of them.
Abby looked at her husband and made a low moan. Brittany opened her eyes and turned to stare at her father.
“Daddy?” Her voice hadn’t changed much. A little deeper maybe, but Hank could still hear the little girl in that one word.
Apparently, so could Peter. He blinked his eyes and wiped away his tears. And then he took a deep breath as he squared his shoulders…and dove into the big hug.
All three, hugging it out on the bed. Bear, hybrid, and human. Hank rocked back on his heels and blew out a slow breath in appreciation. Family unity in the scariest of situations. It never failed to steal his breath. Cecilia seemed equally effected as she entwined her fingers in his.
“Sometimes life doesn’t suck in the least,” she murmured, her eyes sheening with tears.
He smiled. So did Peter who was now rocking backward to stare at the two women in his life. “I never want to hear one word about how I’m going bald,” he said. “Not when you two can do this whenever you want. It’s just not fair,” he said as he ran a hand over his nearly bald pate.
Brittany chuckled as she rocked backward. Abby, too, though the sound was more a rumble as it came through her bear body. Then there was another knock on the door.
“Dr. Lu? Mr. and Mrs. Randolph—”
“We’re fine!” Cecilia snapped. “And you’re interfering with therapy!” She turned back to the threesome on the bed. “This isn’t going to last long. You need to change back.” Then she looked at Abby. “And I need to get behind you to turn off those alarms.”
The beeps and bings were continuing, but she’d have to climb over Abby’s back to get to them. Then Hank saw a better way. He scooted around and pulled the plugs. All of them. As many as he could reach.
The silence was heavenly. At least until Cecilia gasped at him in horror. “You just lost all the data!”
He looked at the suddenly dark machines. What could he say? “Oops.”
She blew out a breath, but then turned to the family. “Brittany, human now. Abby? Do you know how to do it?”
The bear shook her head and Brittany just stared at her hands and thick arms obviously starting to climb back into hysterics.
“Don’t you dare,” Cecilia snapped. “Remember how your mom got you out of it before? She got you to remember that day when you won that mathlete thing.”
Peter took up the reins. “Remember that day clearly, Brit. You won because you’re so smart. And that boy asked you out. What was his name?”
“Jordan,” Brittany said as she closed her eyes. “Jordan and I kissed,” she murmured as she clearly relived the event. And again, in that soft yellow glow, Brittany returned to human. Right at the exact moment her father drew up short.
“You kissed? What do you mean you kissed?”
Brittany gave her father a very human eye roll. “Dad, I’m sixteen. I’ve been kissed before.”
“You have not! I mean, you have? When?”
Cecilia held up her hand and the two abruptly stopped. “It’s Abby’s turn.” She looked at Hank.
“Same thing Abby,” he said. “Remember who you are. Remember that you’re Brittany’s mother and Peter’s wife.”
“We’re here for you, Mom,” Brittany said, her voice strong.
“Yes…” Peter’s voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before he could speak again. “Yes, honey. Remember our…remember…” He softened, right there before their eyes. His shoulders relaxed, and his face took on a nostalgic glow. “I remember the first time I saw you on our wedding day. We should have picked a church with air-conditioning. I was sweating bullets in that tux. And then the doors opened and there you were with your father. I’ve never seen anyone look so beautiful before. You were so perfect, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. That’s what I kept thinking. About how I was so damned lucky to be marrying my best friend.”
The bear opened her mouth. At first Hank thought she was panting or trying to speak, hard to tell. But then came the golden glow, the fur dropping into it. Her face pulled in and there she was. A full human leaning against the bed with her eyes on her husband.
“Peter,” she whispered.
He didn’t answer. He was too busy kissing her.
Hank watched it, his heart squeezing tight. Right here was the best of human kind. The happy result that everyone lon
ged for. Mom, dad, and kid buried in love. He remembered that kind of love from his own family, but it just hadn’t seemed to be in the cards for him. Girls shied away from him when they saw his scar, but the real problem started after his parents split up. Everyone thought it was because of his brother’s death, but the reason was that his father couldn’t handle what he’d learned about his own children—that they changed into animals—so he’d left. Hank had realized then that any woman would not only have to see past his scar but his shifter nature, too. Wasn’t going to happen, he’d thought, but now suddenly he had hope. If there was a future for these three, then maybe he and Cecilia could make it work. Maybe Cecilia—
His thoughts froze when he caught Cecilia’s expression. She was focused not on the sight in front of her, but on her tablet, which she’d grabbed sometime in the last minute. She wasn’t seeing Mom and Dad find themselves despite the massive revelation. And she wasn’t seeing teenager Abby groan as she threw a blanket over her mother’s bare shoulders. No, her attention was away from the love and deep into the science. He could see the scans she was tapping as she apparently studied the last of the data that had been uploaded from whatever machines he’d unplugged. And she wasn’t smiling; she was frowning in annoyance. Because he’d screwed up her data.
Hell. Had he fallen in love with a woman who was all work, all the time? Someone who couldn’t stop long enough to live a full life?
“Damn it! Damn, damn, damn it!” she cried.
Everyone turned to look at her as she started stabbing with her finger on the tablet.
Hank shifted, his protective instincts looking for danger even though his mind knew she was angry at something on her computer. “What is it?” he asked, his voice tight.
“The data! It’s corrupted.”
“I’m sorry—”
“No, you don’t understand. Not just that data,” she jerked a finger at the machines. “All of it on Brittany.” She dropped the computer on the bed while she threw up her hands. “It’s like there was a glitch or something in the records. Our one good outcome, gone!”