by Laura Dower
“Why is this happening?” I muttered.
“Duh! Because we like B-Monster movies,” Damon said. “We’re like Oswald Leery’s own personal fan club or something.”
“Nah. He has a trillion fans just like us,” I said. “There has to be something more, something else ...”
“Let’s go up to Leery Castle on Friday like the invitation says,” Stella said. “We can get to the bottom of all this.”
“Are you nuts?” Damon cried. “You want to go see Leery Castle and Oswald Leery for real? The guy has to be a hundred years old and probably doesn’t even know his own name. I am not going anywhere near that relic. Trust me. This slime thing has to be some kind of joke.”
“Joke? What about Mr. Bunsen?” I said. “He’s gone. That’s no joke.”
“He’s not gone,” Damon said. “He’s just . . .”
“GONE!” Stella snapped. “Face it. There’s some kind of slime on the loose and it decided to snack on our teacher! We’re probably next!”
“We’re the only ones who can see the slime. We have to help Mr. Bunsen. Otherwise, who else will?” I said, sounding braver than I felt. Mr. Bunsen was cool as far as teachers went. We couldn’t just let the slime have him.
“Maybe Oswald Leery can help us find Mr. Bunsen and figure all this out,” Lindsey suggested.
“Leery makes movies, not science,” Damon said, laughing hard. “Slimo is a big green movie star, people! It’s not real. It’s movies.”
“How can we be so sure?” Stella cried. She twirled the ends of her long hair and crossed her arms thoughtfully. “If there is a connection between Bunsen and the slime, Oswald Leery will know what it is. He invented Slimo. He chose the four of us for a very good reason.”
Now we just had to figure out what the reason was.
CHAPTER 8
ON TOP OF NERVE MOUNTAIN
Friday came faster than I expected. I wanted to get ready for the trip up to Leery Castle, but Garth kept bugging me after school.
“Why can’t you come over and play Master of the Cosmos with me?” Garth asked. “We always play video games together on Friday afternoons. What’s the matter with you?”
“I have something to do,” I said awkwardly.
“Like what? You never do anything exciting,” Garth quipped.
“Thanks a lot,” I said.
“Aw, you know what I mean,” Garth said. “You’ve been acting weird for the past couple of days. Can’t you tell me? I’m your best buddy.”
I knew Garth was right, but I also knew that I had something important to do with Damon Molloy, Stella Min, and Lindsey Gomez. I just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
Just then, Stella walked over, looking tough. She was dressed all in black, as usual.
“Ranger, let’s go,” she growled at me.
Garth looked at me with a look of horror. Then he looked at Stella. Then he looked at me again.
“Are you ditching me for a girl, Jesse?” he asked.
I tried to explain, but Garth marched off in a major huff. I was going to have to spend a lot of time playing video games with him to make up for this.
Damon Molloy was hanging around the school playground with his crew, literally. I watched him climb all the way to the top of the jungle gym, pound his chest like a gorilla, and hang off the top bar by his knees.
On his T-shirt today was just one word: .
What a show-off, I thought.
Lindsey was hanging out at the main school building with her friends, including Desiree Payton, who is quite possibly the snooty-snootiest girl at Riddle Elementary School. Unlike Stella or me or even Damon, Lindsey seems to have an endless supply of friends. I wondered if they would still like her when they spotted her hanging out with all of us. Ha! They’d probably give her some kind of disintegrating death stare just like Dr. Zoltan in Zattack of the Zombies. That’s what the snoots do best: blow you off.
I just hoped Lindsey kept her lips locked. Our big B-Monster secret could not get out to Desiree or anyone else at school! A little information in the wrong hands could jeopardize the entire operation.
Finally, Lindsey left her friends and came over to the bus stop where we were waiting. As we boarded the bus, the sky started to cloud over. It looked like it was going to be a rainy night.
The bus chugged up the road, past the Glog Glen Diner, across Gravesend Ridge, and all the way up to the very top of Nerve Mountain. Still no rain.
At the top, a barbed wire fence appeared along the side of the road, covered with kooky signs like and B-WARE OF I guessed that Oswald Leery had put up those signs a very long time ago, back when he used to give tours of his castle.
As the bus pulled up to a stop near the top I saw a sign that read: LEERY CASTLE. “You know this old place is closed,” the driver said, leaning on the DOOR lever for the bus. “Has been shut up for years.”
I smirked. “We know. We wanted to see it anyway.”
“Suit yourself,” the driver said. He shut the door and motored away.
“I wish I had a camera,” I said, eyeing the sign again.
“I do!” Lindsey cried. She took out her camera and got us into position.
Damon, Stella, and I posed next to the Leery Castle sign. Then we posed near the castle gates. Rising high over our heads were two enormous Crabzilla gates with strong, supersized iron claws. The gates looked even scarier against the backdrop of a stormy sky.
Lindsey snapped a few more photos.
“When I started watching Oswald Leery movies at my parents’ drive-in theater, I never imagined something as crazy as this,” Damon said, looking around.
“Hold on! Your parents run the Desert Drive-O-Rama?” I asked. “And you’ve never been up here before?”
Damon shook his head. “Dad said I couldn’t come up until I was ten.”
“That was last year,” Stella said. “Maybe you didn’t come up because you were afraid!”
“No!” Damon said. “I just didn’t feel like it.”
All at once, the intercom sizzled. We heard a scratchy voice.
“Hello there! I’ve been expecting you!” Walter said. “Press the code to come through the gates. It’s Slimo.”
We looked at each other.
“Slimo?” Damon looked worried.
The wind whipped around us and I got goose bumps all over. Then I saw the keypad with letters.
Damon punched the letters. The moment he hit the O in Slimo, we heard something crunch inside one of the Crabzilla legs. The two Crabzilla gates began to shift and twist. Their enormous claws opened and then closed slowly, like nutcrackers.
Screeeeeeeech.
We hurried inside the gates quickly, afraid the claws might clamp down and turn us into crab cakes.
“There’s the front door!” Lindsey cried. I saw it, too. It was up ahead, past the mess of brambles and plaster garden sculptures. Models of all the best B-Monsters could be found on this pathway, molded in plastic with chipped but brightly colored paint jobs: Bog Beast, Smog Thing, Space Leech, and others.
“Watch out for booby traps,” Damon warned.
“Why would there be booby traps here?” I asked.
Damon shrugged. “You never know. There are always booby traps in the movies.”
Lindsey and Stella found an oversize stepping stone in the shape of Rodiak’s foot.
She started snapping photos again: a shot of the Rodiak footprint; a close-up of Damon, Stella, and me under some creepy-looking vines; a shot of another great big sign that read: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. A thunderbolt cracked over our heads. The rain was coming closer. What were we going to do if it poured?
“Hey! Look at the door!” Lindsey cried.
We all looked. It was open.
It hadn’t been open a minute ago.
“Hello?” I called out, walking inside cautiously.
“Hello? Walter? Professor Leery?” Damon called out after me. He and the girls followed me in. The door slammed shut behind us. We all jum
ped.
“Mr. Leery?” I yelled.
There was no answer.
Spread out before us was a sweeping, swerving staircase covered in deep purple plush carpet. The only sounds I heard were the bubbling of a fish tank somewhere and the tick-tock of an enormous grandfather clock. It was dark and the ceilings were lost in shadows.
The wide foyer was tiled in checkered marble, but it didn’t look as elegant as you would think. It was a real mess. There were too many shelves and tables covered with stuff like teddy bears with fangs and pillows with strange maps. There was a row of funny hats and masks and rubber boots. Framed bats with wings had been displayed in neat cases along the bottom of the stairs. A large black stuffed crow was perched on the banister. It wore a jeweled collar.
“Hello?” Stella called out. No one answered.
Butterflies sprang up in my stomach. I was beginning to think that coming here had been a bad idea.
“We should go,” Damon whispered. “Like, now.”
“What happened to ‘tuff’?” Stella teased, pointing to his T-shirt. “I thought you’d be the first one to stick around and beat up a few monsters!”
Caw, caw, caw!
Before Damon could answer, the black crow that had been sitting on the banister opened its beak! It stretched out its wide black wings and lifted up off the stairs.
Lindsey looked panicked. “It’s not stuffed!” she cried.
Stella struck a karate pose and chopped at the air. “Keep back, bird!” she said.
Damon hit the floor.
I didn’t know what to do. The crow flapped its wings and flew toward us. I grabbed a folded-up newspaper that was lying on a table and swatted at the air.
“Jesse! Look out!” Lindsey cried.
The crow was perched high on a bookshelf, but it was staring right at me.
Caw, caw, caw!
The crow flapped up again and flew in a quick circle over my head. Then it flew up into the shadows.
“What’s it doing now?” Damon asked. He was lying flat on the floor with his arms over his head.
“Forget the crow,” Stella joked. “Meet the chicken.”
I reached out to help Damon up when suddenly Stella knocked us both back down again.
“Watch out!” Stella yelled as she fell on top of us. “Incoming!”
I looked up just in time to see the crow take a nosedive straight for my head!
CHAPTER 9
DANGER MAN
“Duck!” Stella cried to me. “DUUUUUCK!”
I darted to the side to avoid a head-on collision.
“Hey, it’s a crow, not a duck,” Lindsey cracked to
Stella and me.
“NO MORE BIRD JOKES!” I cried.
Stella wasn’t laughing but Lindsey still was. Sometimes I think Lindsey has a permanent case of the giggles.
Caw, caw, caw!
Why was the crow so determined to chase after me? I wondered.
“Watch out, Jesse! He must like you!” Lindsey cried out.
A whistle came from afar. Walter Block appeared.
“Over here, Poe,” Walter called to the bird. “Stay.”
And just like that, the crow perched on Walter’s shoulder.
“That was way too close,” I said to Walter. I collapsed onto one of the velvet sofas in the room.
“Can I get up now?” Damon said, peeking out.
“Yes,” Walter said. “Meet Poe, the mascot of Leery Castle.”
“Poe? Like Edgar Allan Poe?” Stella asked.
“Indeed.” Walter nodded. “Follow us,” he continued, moving with the crow into the adjoining room.
The room was round with huge wooden doors every few feet or so. I’d never seen anything like it. In the center of the room were two massive sofas, assorted chairs, and tables. There were candles, coasters, magazines, cups, saucers, bric-a-brac, and dust (of course) covering every available surface. There was even a stuffed tarantula on the top of the sofa, and coffee table books with alien art on the front stacked next to a chair.
Walter led us to a table with bowls and cups on it. “Here are some snacks and drinks for you,” he said. There were chilled cans of Volt Cola lined up like bowling pins.
Damon grabbed a handful of cheesy-looking mix. Orange stuff got all over his fingers and lips. Stella and Lindsey took huge handfuls, too.
“Mmmmm,” the girls said. “What is this?”
“One of Oswald Leery’s favorites,” said Walter. “Larva crunch.”
“Ewwwwww!” everyone wailed, spitting the stuff out. “Larva?”
“Oh, come now! You’re not afraid of a little snack food, are you?” Walter asked.
Stella grabbed a can of Volt Cola right off the tray and emptied it into her mouth. It would take a case of the stuff to get the taste out of our mouths.
“Would you excuse me for a moment?” Walter asked. “Have a look around. Make yourselves at home. I’ll be back in two shakes of a werewolf’s tail.”
Then he left the room.
“How exactly do you shake a werewolf’s tail?” I cried.
“Very carefully,” Lindsey said, giggling again as she adjusted her glasses.
We all groaned.
“What does it mean when Walter says to ‘have a look around’?” Stella asked, touching a large, leather-bound book on the table.
“I bet he’s testing us,” I said. “He wants to see what we do.”
“I bet Leery has B-Monster video cams set up all over the castle,” said Damon. “We’ll probably end up on the Internet.”
Stella found a box and opened it up. Inside were old pictures of actors, special-effects design people, and makeup artists who had worked at B-Monster Studios. Dad told me once that a bunch of old B-Monster actors still live at the Riddle Retirement Village. I bet they have the best stories to tell!
Hidden behind a large, moving plywood panel, Damon discovered shelves and shelves of back issues of B-Monster Galaxy, Oswald Leery’s famed monster magazine. On another shelf was a giant robot head. Damon stepped near the head and its eyes flashed red.
“Cool!” he exclaimed excitedly.
Lindsey pointed to a line of old black-and-white photographs hanging up on the wall. In one photograph was a man behind a movie camera. Standing next to the man was Oswald Leery.
“Wow! That man in the picture is my Grandpa Max!” Lindsey said.
I told Lindsey how my Great Uncle Rich had worked for Leery, too.
“His nickname was Danger Ranger,” I joked. “Otherwise known as Danger Man.”
“Where is he in these pictures?” Damon asked, eyeing all the photographs again.
I searched the gallery and couldn’t find a photo of him anywhere. But I didn’t need a photograph. I found some amazing props instead! Inside a costume trunk, I picked up this bug mask with giant light-up eyes. Etched inside was the nameRICH “D” RANGER
“No way!” Damon cried. “Look at this!” He pulled me over to look at a gigantic suit made of steel. “It says right here that this suit was worn by Rich Ranger in Robototron.”
“Wow,” Stella said. “There are little bits of your uncle in everything.”
“Yeah,” I mused. “He was a cool guy, wasn’t he?”
“When I grow up, I want to be a stuntwoman just like him,” Stella said.
“You could be ‘Danger Min’!” I cried, goofing around.
We all laughed, except for Stella, of course. She smoothed down her black hair and shot me a look. “I’m being serious,” she said.
I spotted a small locked cabinet off to the side of the room. Unable to open it, I grabbed a sharpened pencil and stuck it in the lock. After a few minutes of wriggling, the door opened.
The cabinet was a treasure trove. It held notebooks and albums crammed with photos and facts, guestbooks signed by all the actors who had made the Bs, and a box of original B-Monster trading cards. I opened the box. I’d been searching for a limited-edition Slimo trading card for months. There were onl
y five ever issued. Two are owned by collectors in Japan, and I had no clue where the other three might be.
Unfortunately, Oswald Leery didn’t have one in this box.
“I wonder where all the doors in this room go,” Damon said.
Lindsey reached for one knob, but Stella cried, “Don’t! You don’t know what’s behind there!”
“Isn’t that the idea?” Lindsey said with a smile. She moved over to a curious-looking set of yellow double doors.
The plaque on the doors read: SCREENING ROOM.
With a loud crank, the yellow double doors started to move. They were on some kind of mechanical track and they were opening themselves in slo-mo.
I stepped forward before everyone else. It was pitch-black inside.
I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face!
As I moved inside the room, everything wobbled and before I could find my bearings, the entire floor gave way.
Before I could stop myself, I was falling down, down into the darkness.
CHAPTER 10
DOCTOR LEERY, I PRESUME?
I screamed as I fell. It was so dark that I couldn’t even see where I had fallen. Then suddenly I bounced against something slippery. This was a slide!
As I twisted down the loop, I squealed like I was on a roller coaster. I could feel wind on my eyeballs. This was like the best amusement park ride ever. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever stop.
And then it did.
Just as quickly as I’d dropped onto the slide, I was deposited into a plush chair facing an enormous screen. I was in some kind of futuristic movie theater! There was a creaking noise, and the chair lurched and moved over a little. Stella, who had dropped down after me, was positioned in a chair to my left. She just stared ahead like she’d been hypnotized or something. Or maybe she was just completely freaked out.
I know I was.
On the right side of me, another chair slid into place under the slide chute. Then Lindsey came sliding down into it. Damon slipped into another chair after her.
I always thought the multiplex in Riddle was impressive. After all, it has something like twelve different screens. But the theater at Leery Castle put that place to super-shame. This screening room was WOW all the way.