by L. A. Miller
Beckett studied her face then looked over her head at Matt who was watching them intently. Neither man could hide the animosity between them. Bailey squeezed Beckett’s hand to get his attention.
“Beckett….I didn’t invite him here because I didn’t know how to tell him about us….what to tell him about us.”
Beckett studied her face and she could see he was deciding if he could trust her. His reaction hurt and it must have shown on his face because his features softened as he pulled her closer.
“I’m sorry Bailey, I over reacted.” He admitted. “I just didn’t expect to see him here….especially tonight.”
“I know.” She sighed relaxing now in his arms. “Neither did I. I am going to have to talk to him, I need to explain.”
“No you don’t.” He said and she felt his irritation again.
“Beckett.” She said softly. “Matt was a big part of my life, he was there when I needed someone. I need him to understand.”
“And just what will you tell him?” He asked and Bailey thought she heard a twinge of jealousy in his tone. She immediately dismissed that possibility.
“I will tell him what we are telling everyone, that we are in love and getting married.”
Beckett studied her face and she saw a question behind his look for a brief moment before he looked back at Matt. Bailey felt a wall go up between them and didn’t know how to tear it down.
“I doubt he will believe you.”
Bailey couldn’t explain why but his comment hurt. Couldn’t he see she was in love with him and that it wouldn’t be hard for her to convince Matt when she was telling him the truth? She refused to tell him. She had already exposed so much of herself with him this last week and if he couldn’t understand that she was in love with him than she doubted he ever would. Lifting her chin and trying to maintain her pride now she replied.
“You forget I’m a good actress.”
Beckett looked back at her and seemed to be studying her expression. Her insides were screaming that she loved him, that he was all she ever wanted and the day they took their vows and ended their relationship would be the worst day in her life. Outwardly though she was cool and he seemed to accept the illusion. The wall grew thicker and she felt him pulling away. She was grateful when the music ended and the first of many of their guests cut in. She didn’t think she could hold back her tears if she had remained in his arms a moment longer. What surprised Bailey was that after that first dance she expected his brothers to cut in but some sign from Beckett warned them to stay clear and not interfere. She was also surprised Matt remained on the sidelines watching her but never approaching. When the time came Beckett escorted her to dinner but they never spoke to one another instead they concentrated on entertaining those around them. Bailey barely touched her meal and when dessert was served she excused herself.
She needed to be alone and made her way to the garden. When she heard footsteps behind her she expected to see Beckett but instead turned to see Matt watching her. She felt the tears well up but refused to cry.
“Why did you come?” She asked finally.
“I had to see if it was true…..that you were getting married.” He said hesitantly as he walked towards her.
“It’s true.” She said turning her back to him.
“Then why don’t you seem happy?” He asked stopping a few feet behind her.
Bailey sighed. “I am happy Matt….the kids are doing great, I have a wonderful job that I love doing, I’m going to marry a man I love….”
“Do you?” He asked and Bailey heard the hurt in his voice.
She turned and looked up at him. The pain in his eyes was too much to bear. Her lip trembled as the tears began to fall. Matt reached out pulling her into his arms and she clung to him as she cried. It was so familiar; Matt holding her when she needed strength, telling her things would be ok, telling her he was there, telling her he loved her and then kissing her. At first she didn’t react too caught up in her emotion to realize what was happening. Her lips moved with him of their own accord. But as he tried to deepen the kiss she pulled back shocked at what she had done.
“Bailey I love you, I always have….you don’t have to marry him….I know about the money, why didn’t you tell me, I could have helped.”
Bailey stood there confused for a moment. How did Matt know when she hadn’t told anybody? Then she realized her grandmother had to have told him. She was the one responsible for bringing Matt her tonight. Was it her plan to use Matt to drive a wedge between her and Beckett? When Matt tried to take her in his arms again she pushed him away.
“No Matt….I don’t love you, I’m sorry.”
“Bailey….you can grow to love me, you just never gave us a chance.” He argued.
“No I can’t Matt…..I’m in love with Beckett.” She said firmly.
Bailey watched his reaction. His hope was replaced by denial. If he could only spend more time with her he would make her love him. Then as he looked at her his face changed and rejection and loss set in. Finally; understanding and acceptance.
“You do really love him?” He said surprised.
“Yes….I’m sorry Matt, I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Hey” He said trying to smile. “You never lied to me, never led me on…..I just figured I had enough love for both of us….eventually you would come around.”
“You deserved better.”
“You always told me that but I didn’t want to listen.”
“Can we still be friends?”
“Try and get rid of me.” He said sadly. “Maybe though, it would be best if I went back to the hotel for now.”
“It’s not necessary….I think when you get to know him better you will like Beckett.”
“Possibly…..but I think tonight I need to be alone.”
Bailey understood. He was hurting. She had just rejected him and couldn’t expect him to accept the man who won her heart that easily. She stepped towards him kissing his cheek before she hugged him again.
“You have been my best friend for as long as I can remember……I will always love you.” She said holding on to him.
“And I will always love you.” He said tightening his arms around her.
They stood there for a moment before finally pulling apart. He kissed her once more before he headed for his car and she returned to find Beckett.
Chapter 46
Beckett didn’t head back to the house instead he got into his car and sped down the driveway, away from her, away from what he had just seen. He had recognized Matt the moment he crossed the doorway. Kevin had sent him photos with the bio from his investigation but his was the last face he expected to see tonight. Looking at Bailey he suddenly wondered if she had known and why she wouldn’t have mentioned it. She had told Beckett there was nothing between them but by the way he looked at her and the sudden flush of her skin he wasn’t so sure. This was his rival and despite the fact he and Bailey had shared a physical relationship her relationship with Matt ran deeper. This was the man that had been at her side during her darkest moments, the man who supported her when she doubted herself, comforted her when she mourned and loved her unconditionally. This man had been a part of Bailey’s life for eleven years. He has seen the girl become the woman. Suddenly he began to doubt what they shared as Matt stood before her. He wondered would it be so difficult when they took their vows for her to end the physical relationship. After all Matt would be willing. When she stepped into his arms and hugged him he saw the way her body relaxed. As if she was where she belonged and just now realized it. The thought of them together angered Beckett and when she looked at him he was unable to hide that anger. Masking his emotions he took control as he extended his hand.
“I’m Beckett Birmingham, Bailey’s fiancé, I’ve heard so much about you.”
Beckett saw Matt’s irritation as he took his hand. “Matt Driscoll and surprisingly I haven’t heard anything about you.” He challenged looking at Bailey now.
; Bailey stepped back to Beckett’s side and he could sense the strain she was under being caught between them. This past week he had gotten pretty good about reading her body language and knew she needed to explain to both of them but didn’t know where to start.
“Beckett, would you excuse us, I need a moment with Matt.” She said looking at Beckett.
“Your reunion will have to wait my dear.” Her grandmother interrupted. “It’s time the two of you move to the ballroom for the announcement.”
As Beckett led her away he felt the tension building within. Her first thought was to put Matts mind at ease instead of his. When her grandmother asked Matt to escort her it only added to his tension. When they entered his family sensed the trouble brewing and as they followed her grandmother to the front of the room he gave Trent a glare warning him to back off. Bailey turned to say something but he cut her off with a shake of his head. He didn’t trust himself to speak to her at that moment. As the audience applauded he led her out to the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. He held her a little stiffer than he should and maintained a polite distance as he moved her around the floor. When he felt in control enough of his anger he met her gaze.
“Why didn’t you tell me he would be here?”
Bailey almost stumbled but his hold on her easily covered her misstep. “I didn’t know” She said honestly. “Not till he showed up at the door.”
Beckett studied her face then looked over her head at Matt who was watching them intently. He couldn’t hide his animosity where the man was concerned and Bailey had to squeeze his hand to get his attention.
“Beckett….I didn’t invite him here because I didn’t know how to tell him about us….what to tell him about us.”
Beckett studied her face trying to decide if he could trust her. He saw the hurt on her face when she read his mistrust and instantly he felt like a fool. Softening his expression he pulled her closer, holding her body as his tension left him.
“I’m sorry Bailey, I over reacted.” He admitted. “I just didn’t expect to see him here….especially tonight.”
“I know.” She sighed relaxing now in his arms. “Neither did I. I am going to have to talk to him, I need to explain.”
“No you don’t.” He said unable to hide his irritation.
“Beckett.” She said softly. “Matt was a big part of my life, he was there when I needed someone. I need him to understand.”
“And just what will you tell him?” He asked feeling a twinge of jealousy.
“I will tell him what we are telling everyone, that we are in love and getting married.”
Beckett studied her face wanting to ask the question he was afraid to hear answered. Instead he looked back at Matt as he closed off his emotions.
“I doubt he will believe you.”
“You forget I’m a good actress.” She had replied as if he had insulted her.
Her words had felt as if she had driven a knife in his heart. The moment the dance stopped he released her grateful for the line of gentleman who came to claim a dance. He was cornered by his brothers and warned them to stay out of it and stay away from Bailey. For once they honored his request and Beckett stood with them watching Bailey be passed from one partner to the next. To his surprise Matt was not one of them. No one seemed to notice the hurt in her eyes but he did. He wanted to go back, turn back the clock and change the way he reacted when Matt arrived but couldn’t. His pride wouldn’t allow him to apologize either and so at dinner they ignored each other attending to their guests. When she made her excuse as dessert was being delivered he hesitated in following her. But when he saw Matt rise and follow her, Beckett made his excuses and also left. He was stopped momentarily by a guest and when he made it out to the garden he saw Bailey go willingly into Matts arms, saw her body tremble before he lifted her chin to kiss her. Beckett watched her respond but turned away before he saw her push Matt away. He never witnessed what came next his mind too blind from the pain that gripped his heart. As he walked away he replaced his pain with anger, feeling betrayed. So many times over the last week he had come close to admitting his true feelings for Bailey. He had held back and now was relieved. She had played him for a fool; he had fallen for the innocent act. As he drove off he remembered her words.
“You forget; I’m a good actress.”
His first instinct was to go to Macy and the closer he got to her hotel the more Baileys betrayal hurt. She had become everything he wanted. He had begun to dream of a life together, a real marriage, family, home. Everything he and Lachelle had wanted and hoped for. His dream died with Lachelle and Bailey had brought it back to life. She had given him hope but before he had the chance to enjoy it she snatched it away. Pulling up in front of the hotel he sat there trying to decide what to do. He knew Macy would take him back, she would probably want to punish him and tonight her pain would be welcomed. One pain would overshadow the other. Yet as he looked at the door he didn’t get out. When he thought about Macy’s face his heart showed him another’s. His mind and body now betrayed him. He could still feel Bailey in his arms, smell her scent, and taste her flavor. Even after what he saw he wanted her, he needed her but how much could his heart take. Looking at the door and knew he wouldn’t be going back to Macy but he also knew he couldn’t go back to the estate, not tonight. Pulling out of the parking lot he drove over to his brothers apartment and using his spare key he let himself in. He had grabbed a pillow and blanket from the linen closet converting the sofa to his bed then he grabbed a glass of brandy and headed to the shower. Hours later he was awaken when Trent dumped a pitcher of ice water over him. He sat up and grabbed his head which was pounding now from the amount of brandy he had drowned after the shower.
“What the fuck.” He cursed. “Why did you do that?”
“Oh I don’t know.” Trent said sitting on the edge of the table. “Maybe because you’re an idiot, what the hell happened to you tonight and what’s going on between you and Bailey?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He said reaching for the bottle again. Trent ripped it from his hand and took a swig.
“You’ve had enough.” Trent warned as he rested the bottle on his leg.
“I haven’t even begun to drink.” Beckett argued glaring at him.
“You want to tell me why you are passed out on my sofa when you have an incredibly beautiful woman waiting for you in your bed back at the estates.”
Beckett looked up at Trent and shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“So why don’t you tell me about it.”
“What do you want me to say…..that Baileys ex showed up, that everything we’ve shared was a lie….that she played me for fool?”
“We’re talking about Bailey….our Bailey?” Trent asked staring at him as if he had lost his mind.
“She’s not our Bailey, she’s not my Bailey……she’s Matt’s Bailey.” Beckett growled.
“Matt…..you mean that love struck puppy that she sent home with his tail between his legs.”
“She sent Matt home?”
“Yeah, right after they talked and before she came looking for you. What the hell happened, why did you leave?”
“I saw her kiss him.”
“Kiss him?”
“Yeah.”
“So you just ran away?”
“I didn’t run away, I left.”
“You ran away…. you see her kiss him and you give up?”
“Trent it’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it? Fuck man, for the last week you have been happy. You haven’t been really happy since Lachelle…and if you want the honest truth you’ve actually been happier with Bailey than you ever were with Lachelle.”
“Leave Lachelle out of this.” Beckett threatened.
“No….because Lachelle’s part of your problem.”
“I’m warning you….”
“Someone has to knock some sense into you before you make the biggest mistake of your life and you
’re going to listen to me.”
“Not if you are going to discuss Lachelle.”
“Why, because she was so perfect?”
“Trent, I’m warning you.” Beckett threatened.
“Take your best shot brother because I will have my say.”
Despite the alcohol Beckett gave Trent his best. Afterwards they both sat exhausted on the floor, Trent was nursing a black eye and a fat lip, Beckett had several bruised ribs, a cut under his eye and scrapped knuckles. The apartment had also suffered with end tables overturned and a lamp broken when they crashed over it.
“Are you ready to listen to me now or do I have to kick our ass again?” Trent asked holding out the bottle.
“You didn’t kick my ass.” Beckett said grabbing the bottle.
“You’re right; I let you off easy because Mom would kill me.”
“You always used that excuse.” Beckett groaned.
“Because it was true.” Trent grinned then cursed when his lip split open again.
“How are you going to lure a woman to your bed without your killer smile?”
“No problem there, they’ll want to nurse me back to health.” Trent replied then with a serious expression he said. “Beckett, hear me out ok?”
Beckett looked at Trent for a moment then taking a swig he agreed.
“You know I loved Lachelle, we all loved Lachelle. Had she lived you two would have married, had children and probably lived to a ripe old age and been very happy.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is she died….you didn’t.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Beckett said his voice raw with pain.
“No….I don’t, you let part of you die when she died. It was your way of keeping her alive. You put a barrier around your heart and you refused to let anyone in. It was your shrine to Lachelle to keep her alive. All these years, all the women, no one was able to break through it. But Bailey got through that didn’t she? She made you feel alive again; she made you feel loved….she made you dream.”
“Yeah” Beckett admitted.
“So why are you here?”