Loup Garou

by Mandy M. Roth

  He gave me a comforting hug and I closed my eyes, letting myself relax for the first time in a long time. “I’m sorry, Lindsay.”

  Unsure what Exavier was sorry about, I glanced up and looked into the mirror before us. His gaze met mine and my hands moved over his as he rocked me gently. It was something lovers did, not strangers. Why were we doing it?

  “I’m sorry it took so long for me to get here, Linds. I would have come sooner but I thought you had someone in your life. I thought you’d push me away.”

  I went to question him about his comment when the door burst open. Gina poked her head in, spilling waves of auburn hair all about her shoulders. Her large green eyes locked on me and her jaw dropped. “Right then.” She went to leave.

  “Gina, wait! What’s up?”

  “Myra wanted me to tell you that you were right about the Ferris family and that you have no doubt paved a wonderful path to hell for yourself.” Gina smiled wide. “She also wanted to know when you were going to just leap head first into the pits of hell and begin dating the devil to save time. She’s still convinced you were made to be his mate. No one but you could tame him.”

  Laughing softly, I shrugged, doing my best to ignore the fact Exavier was hearing all of this. “I can hardly be blamed for the reaper showing up for Great-Grandpa Ferris. Like it was a surprise to anyone. Hell, the reaper has been nipping at my heels for over a decade. I’m close to seeing if he wants to start hanging out for drinks on Friday nights.”

  “Be careful,” Gina offered, licking her lower lip. “The reaper is exactly the kind of man you attract.”

  “Well, I do like to screen men to weed out the nice sane ones. It’s only fun if you’re running for your life with them, from them, in the vicinity of them.” I watched Gina’s face fall as anger took her over. She was never one to enjoy me joking about the attempts on my life.

  “That’s not funny, Lindsay. Not in the least. If the man holding you now steps out of line one bit I will personally kill him. Understood?”

  I laughed nervously and patted Exavier’s arm. “We’re all eccentric here. Pay no attention to Gina. She clearly missed her meds and coffee this morning.”

  Gina entered the room and stood tall. At five-foot-six, she was shorter than Myra and I but that didn’t stop her from verbally coming at us whenever possible. Her temper seemed symbolic of her hair—flaming—if allowed to go unchecked. She had an iron-will and the ability to kick almost anything’s ass. The slayer in her tended to rule her temper as well. “Like hell. I don’t care if the man thinks we’re all nuts. If he steps out of line with you I will chop his head off and feed it to a pack of wolves. You’ve got enough of them trying to kill you that it shouldn’t be hard to find a group of them.”

  “Gina, stop.”

  Gina gave me a hard look. “They’re coming faster, harder and in bigger numbers than ever before, Lindsay. It’s never been this bad. Call your dad and ask him flat out what he knows about the man currently known as Prince.”

  A soft laugh tore free from me.

  She didn’t share my amused state. “Let this prince guy deal with them, Lindsay. There have been too many close calls lately. You weren’t born a slayer and you aren’t like Myra. You don’t get nine lives. You get one. One that they are more than willing to end.”

  “Gina, darling, you’re going to scare people away because of your need to feed into my delusions. I’m fine. Really.”

  With no outside interference, I knew it was about to get ugly. “Lindsay, I don’t care if the man behind you runs to every tabloid in the country blabbing about shit he can’t possibly understand. You will listen to me. We’ve been friends way too long for you to think I’ll back down on this. You find out who this fucking prince guy is or I will. Trust me, honey, with as many times as I’ve seen you go through hell on account of him, I will not be kind to him when I do find him.”

  Giving in just to get her to go away, I nodded. “I’m going to dinner with my parents tomorrow night. I’ll ask then. And for the record, I’m fine.”

  She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “So, how is Detective Gonzales doing?”

  “I guess Jay’s good. He’s supposed to be getting back today from Chicago. I’ll let you know. I’m sure he’ll give me a call. We may not be dating anymore but Jay still can’t go too long without checking in. In fact, he calls three times a day normally. You know how overprotective he is.”

  Something passed over her face and her nostrils flared. “He already did call about twenty minutes ago. Your class had started so Myra took a message.”

  I tossed my hands up. “Well, there ya go. See, he’s fine. Why the hell are you asking me about him then?”

  “Yeah, he wanted to check on you. He was worried sick because he stepped out long enough to grab breakfast for the two of you this morning, came back to your place and you were gone.”

  That got me.

  “Breakfast? What the hell are you talking about? I think I’d have noticed if Jay was sleeping over. He snores so loud that I’ve thought about barricading the extra room’s door with pillows in hopes they’ll soak it in before it reaches me. I’m going to sight that as reason number one hundred on the list of why we didn’t work out.”

  “Lindsay.”

  “Yeah?” I asked, wryly.

  “Jay was terrified because you hadn’t stirred from your sleep since he found you in the center’s parking lot late last night, unconscious and barely breathing. He said you had a birthday present wrapped in children’s wrap, addressed to Rickie, lying next to you, just out of reach. Makes sense since you told me you were heading to Rickie’s party and then home. Jay also said that he found two dead were-panthers near you and that a trail of fresh blood led away from you.”

  I cringed.

  Gina glared at me. “Jay also mentioned that you’d lost so much blood he ended up giving you some of his own—something he swore he’d never do. Apparently, you made him promise not to ever mix blood with you—something about making him a target too. Anyway, he went against your wishes to save your life. Then he spent the entire night watching over you, convinced you might die. You’re fucking immortal. We all are. Dying shouldn’t be something mentioned when it comes to us, Lindsay. Yet it’s all that comes up anymore when talking about you.”

  This wasn’t what I wanted to talk about. Not in front of Exavier anyway. Gina didn’t care. “I can’t blame Jay for being terrified that whoever the hell wanted you dead this time came back while he was grabbing you something to eat and finished the job, Lindsay. My guess is that you don’t even know how you got home last night. Only that you woke up there, battered, bruised and with the knowledge that you almost died. I bet you’re sore as hell too. Bet it just about killed you, knowing you missed that little boy’s party, because you love him like you do all the kids.”

  I looked away, strong, safe arms holding me tight.

  “Look at me, Lindsay. Tell me the truth. Jay said it was horrible. He said that one of them bit your upper thigh open, striking an artery and your shoulder was not only out of socket but your arm was damn near ripped off. I gotta say that I’ve seen you fucked up. I’ve seen your body almost ripped in half. I’m not like Myra. I can’t sense others' emotions, their pain, but I don’t need to be like her to know that you’ve gone past the point of pain and entered whole new territories.”

  Instinctively, my hand went to the shoulder that had been hurting all day. I met Gina’s gaze and her nostrils flared as she pointed at me. “Lindsay Marie Willows, your body has a limit. These things are damn close to pushing you past it! Do you know that Myra only just hung up with Jay? He was that upset. Hell, he damned near called your father to help him with you last night. He said it was that bad.”

  I tried to take a step back only to find Exavier’s large frame blocking me.

  Gina glared at me, not giving an inch. “Were you going to tell Myra and I or were you going to sweep this one under the rug like the two attacks before that? Don
’t think we don’t know about the vampire ones, Lindsay.”

  My eyes widened. “No, there weren’t any—”

  She cut me off. “Bullshit! When you dozed off in your office the other day you started screaming out in your sleep, terrified that they’d found you again. Myra rushed in and I followed right behind her. She flat out asked you if you’d been attacked again recently. You said yes. You even told us that they’d come twice. One was waiting in your car and the other tried and failed to get into your house.” She tossed her hands in the air. “We have to interrogate you when you’re in a sleep-like state to get the truth out of you. We were created to help keep you safe. We can’t do our job if you lie to us.”

  I tried to come up with an explanation. I got nothing. “Gina, don’t do this. We’ll talk about it later.”

  “No. We will talk about it now!” She put her hand on her hip. “They come after you and are shocked when you put up a fight. I get the sense that they assume you’re defenseless. I honestly think they’re only expecting a pretty showpiece. A prince’s play thing—his toy. Yes, you give them more than that to deal with but you were not born with a violent streak. You may be a bitch when it comes to the men in your life but you are the most nurturing woman I know when it comes to these kids—these people.”

  “Gina, please.” I’d do anything to get her to stop discussing this in front of Exavier. Hell, to stop talking about it at all.

  She shook her head. “No. This prince of darkness guy is supposedly some big bad ass. If what they say is true, that you’re his other half, then it makes sense that you wouldn’t be aggressive. You’d just buck heads the entire time. The bad guys operate under this assumption. My gut tells me it’s true—that you aren’t supposed to have to fight for your own life, that he’s supposed to be the one doing it. I also think that’s why we were all drawn to you, Lindsay. Each of us is a warrior by some right. Each of us has a burning need to see you safe.”

  “Gina.”

  “No. I think the Fates brought us all together to keep you alive. I think they realized that Prince Fuck-Up was going to be a no-show and tried to cover their asses. I think they underestimated you big time, too. They didn’t just get a pretty showpiece, a sexy toy, they got a woman who could and would give all she had to keep herself and those she loves safe. And the bad guys underestimate you too but they’re coming in numbers we can’t control.”

  I cringed. None of this was new information. She’d been very vocal all along about her feelings towards my said mate. Having her express her opinion and get her feelings off her chest was never an issue. It was getting Gina to stop expressing them that was tricky.

  She pointed at me. “You need to start meeting me for lessons on how to protect yourself again. I know how much you hate having to hurt someone and that makes it even worse but someone has to show you how to take care of yourself in the event one of us isn’t there to protect you.”

  I sighed. She continued, “Jay doesn’t just freak out for no reason. He doesn’t call around in tears, frantically looking for anyone, Lindsay. Jay doesn’t cry! He’s an alpha lycan. They don’t show emotions like that. When the man does it, it’s fucking serious! I can only imagine what kind of shape he found you in that made him not call us. He knows that Myra won’t survive finding you like we did before. He knows that she’d snap. She damn near didn’t mentally come back from the first time. It would turn her into a killing machine you couldn’t possibly imagine. She loves you like a sister. I love you like a sister.”

  “I didn’t…err…there wasn’t…umm.”

  “Lie to me about it, Lindsay, and I swear I’ll kill you myself and save the rest of the underworld the trouble. Everyday I worry that it’s the day those fucks will win. I worry you’ll disappear for days again—only this time when we find you there will be no bringing you back to life, that your heart won’t restart, your body won’t mend.”

  Desperate for her to stop, I did the only thing I could think to do. I begged. “Please, Gina.”

  She froze and I wasn’t sure if it was the please or the desperation on my face. I didn’t care. A puzzled look came over her. “Why aren’t you yelling at me and making me dive out of the way of lightning strikes that you swear you can’t create yet always seem to happen when you’re pissed?” As she stared at me, I watched it hit her. Her eyes widened and she looked from me to Exavier and back again several times before blushing. Since Gina wasn’t one who was prone to being embarrassed, I was at a loss as to how to help. If worse came to worse, I’d plead insanity. With the talk that had been going on directly in front of Exavier, I doubted he’d question me on it. Hell, he'd probably have me committed himself.

  Gina ran a hand through her auburn hair and nodded, doing her best to look calm and collected. It didn’t work. “Oh, right. Yes. Umm, you have someone new here. Someone, umm… I’m sorry. You didn’t get a chance to tell your friend that I moonlight as an actress on a paranormal soap and you help me with my lines, did you?”

  I choked back a sob as a tear fell down my cheek. “No. I didn’t mention that.”

  “Right, so he probably thinks we’re in a cult and worship the devil or something.” She smiled wide at Exavier. “Sorry about using you as an extra. You did surprisingly well by, umm, doing nothing to interfere. Way to fade into the background. Thanks.”

  “No problem,” he said in a low tone.

  “Thanks for clearing that up for me, Gina.” I wanted to run to her and hug her but leaving the safety of Exavier’s arms wasn’t an option for me just yet. “He already thinks I’m odd enough. We need to quit watching scary movies and get lives.”

  Gina nodded slowly. “Yeah, no movies. Lay off those movies, mmmhmm.” She pointed behind her. “I’ve got a self-defense class to instruct. I really think you should stop in. We can practice for the heck of it. Run more lines. I could even show your friend some stuff if you want. I do think you should stop in, though. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Take care. I should probably warn you that Jay’s headed over here. The second Myra said you were here I guess he freaked out. Umm, you know how much he hates to miss out on me running my lines and all.” A nervous chuckle escaped her. She went to leave and paused. “You know, your friend looks really familiar.”

  “I will. I promise. And I agree, Exavier looks very familiar.”

  On her way out, she stopped. Her eyes widened as she stared at Exavier. “Ohmygod, you’re…umm…holy shit.”

  “Huh? Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you that he’s with a band, Loup Garou, I think Myra said, and that he started off here with the idea I’d be able to help out but I’m guessing he’s seen the light by now.”

  Gina’s green eyes stayed locked on Exavier as she spoke to me. “Honey, you really need to stop using that two-hundred disc player or start putting the artist’s names in the memory bank so it displays something other than the disc number.”

  “Why? I have you, the walking book of useless facts on every artist out there. And I can’t forget, the master of my mix CDs. How you dig through and find what you need out of that mess is beyond me.”

  She smiled. “Stop throwing away the cases and inserts, Lindsay. You’d be able to see photos of the bands then. Better yet, turn on a music video channel or attend the damn concerts we try to take you to all the time.”

  Sighing, I did my best to work the kink out of my neck without knocking Exavier out. “I can’t stand the clutter. I’m a freak. You tell me so all the time. I didn’t throw them all away. I kept the ones from that one group. Yeah.”

  “Be more specific.”

  Grunting, I shook my head. “Gina, you are doing your best to point out the fact that I’m not only terrible with names, I also suck shit at pairing up band names to their songs. And I have yet to know the actual song title of anything. In my defense, once I hear it, I instantly know what feels right dance-wise with it.”

  “At least he’ll know you’re not an obsessed fan that’s out to bear his lo
ve child.”

  Pulling out of Exavier’s arms, I slipped my sweatshirt on and laughed. “I think he’s safe from either of those things occurring. For one, obsessed people are scary. I’d never put someone on the other side of that and play stalk them when I know what it's like. And secondly…well, you know.”

  Gina’s face fell. “Oh honey, I didn’t mean to bring up having children. I just was using it as an example…umm…shit. I didn’t mean to drag that up, Lindsay. I swear.”

  “No biggie.”

  Liar.

  The attack three years ago had robbed something precious from me and left me unable to ever have children. I no longer dreamt of a house full of children, a husband who loved me and a white picket fence. No, my dreams nowadays ran more towards nightmares than anything else.

  Gina rushed towards me and began helping me re-snap the buttons on the legs of my pants. “Lindsay, I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It was a typical me being me moment. I’d like to yank my foot out of my mouth. The…umm…accident in Europe was hard enough to go through, but me tossing something you want so bad but can’t ever…shit, shutting up now. Sorry.”

  I dropped my voice low enough that I hoped Exavier couldn’t hear me. “I’m fine, Gina. I’ve had three years to get used to the idea that I’ll never be someone’s mommy. Don’t keep apologizing. I’m good. Really. Besides, I could be wrong but I think I need to find the right guy before I even dredge up the fact that I can’t have his children. Don’t you?”

  She kissed my cheek and winked at me. “Umm, what routine did the ladies do today?”

  “What do they always do?”

  She beamed. “Did you do it too?”

  “Yes,” I said, slowly. “Why?”

  “No reason. Meet me for self-defense today or else!” She took off running towards the door, laughing all the way.

  “Yeah, you’re a real riot. I’ll do my best to contain my laughter.”