by Dee, Maria
“I can’t believe you did this to me. First off, you used Nicholas and deceived us both. Then you sacrificed me to Styx ensuring I’d have no other choice but to join Endeca.”
“You left me with no other choice. You were against the alternative, and besides, everything worked out in the end. You no longer have a traveler. No harm no foul.”
“You lied, put me in danger and took advantage of me,” I hissed, my nerves gone amuck.
“You knew very well what you were getting yourself into. I told you there’d be risks,” he glowered.
Still, in that moment, it didn’t register to Orion that I knew.
“I’ll never join Endeca. I’d rather bare the wrath of Endeca and endure partial immortality than lose my humanity indefinitely.” I was glad to be rid of Styx but if I had to choose, I’d gladly pick her over the alternative.
“I—”
“You violated my trust, Orion. You took it too far and I’m afraid there’s no coming back from this,” I scolded.
“I love you, Xenia. I did this to help you.”
“I don’t love you and that moment wasn’t meant for us...all you’ve done is make everything worse.”
“You knew it was me?” he asked, intrigued.
“How could I?”
“How’d you find out?” he whispered enticed.
“That’s beside the point, Orion.”
“I knew it. I could see it in your eyes from the moment I first kissed you,” he quickly leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. I pushed him off, wiping my mouth.
“You’re ternio of Delsult—a jumper! Not to mention disloyal to our kind.”
He looked disheartened shuffling about in a whirlwind of frustration. “Fine. Delude yourself all you want. If you think Nicholas is the image of perfection then who am I to burst your disillusioned bubble.” Just as soon as he uttered the words, Orion vanished, but his rustic alluring cologne lingered in the dewy air.
I stood for a moment in utter confusion. I was glad to be rid of him but at the same time, I missed him, or at least that’s what it felt like. Even after everything, I longed for him. I shook my limbs, ridding the cold shiver that travelled down my back, reminding me that my body was cold and nearly faint, craving sustenance. If not for Edric, I’d be alone in a big house as my parents often had business trips for weeks and even months on end.
“He’s gone,” Edric whispered, opening my creaky bedroom door.
“Indefinitely would be nice,” I mumbled, distraught.
“Orion can be a jerk,” he said and as I rolled my eyes, he continued, “Okay, he’s a big time jerk but this time Xenia, I think his intensions were pure.”
“Have you recently been struck in the head by a blunt object?” my tone was riddled with sarcasm.
“One would think so, but no. I think Orion meant well in that he did this all to help you.”
“I don’t see how he’s helped me.”
“Well then, let’s recount the turn of events, shall we?” he said, strumming his fingers along his jaw. “Are you dead?”
“Not exactly—”
“It wasn’t an existential question. Were you able to act on your true feelings without feeling the remorse that you would’ve had you and him, in his flesh suit, well you know,” he coerced, suggestively.
I saw his point, however felt too proud to admit that the otherwise dishonorable Orion could’ve acted in a selfless manner.
“It was just so evil, Edric. The devious behavior…the sacrifice and possession by Styx and then the…well you know. When I say it out loud, it just sounds so awful. Doesn’t it?” It was disturbing that Edric knew more about me than my two best friends. Even more alarming that he was a Nordstrom without ulterior motives—none thus far at least.
“Hey, some guys court a lady with jewelry and chocolate, while Orion pledged you to Styx as a temporary seal. It may not seem like it, but he did it to help you. In light of it all, it’s the only way he knows best, Xenia.”
“And that shouldn’t alarm me? What should I expect next? A heart in a box for Valentine’s Day?”
Edric snickered, not the least bit surprised before clearing his throat, “I’ll be sure to talk with him.”
I grimaced at the thought. Orion needed guidance in the simplest of things. However, a part of me remained resilient against his actions. That very part urged me to be with him, my ex-spy, Orion. I wasn’t sure why that was, but my subconscious had reservations of its own and I wasn’t privy to its grand plan—not yet, anyway.
The following morning was a delight as the sunlight shining through my window embraced my cold skin in reminder of the prospects ahead. In all the cold, deceptive things I was becoming accustomed to, the warmth of the day light reminded me that I was no longer a hostage to mediocrity. I was a Diplozoe, a being capable of otherworldly things. I was capable of travel from one world to the next and if I ever felt the need to retreat, the middle world Styx was at my beck and call. How more reassuring could life get?
The only other people that I longed to share this with were Calliope and Marla. But Marla was in the hospital, to my dismay. What if she…died? I was relieved that her condition had stabilized, but it was so painful the first time. I didn’t know if I could make it through a second time. Marla wasn’t just my friend, she was like a sister to me and if something happened to her again, she’d never get to know the real me. I felt immensely torn. What would be worse? My friends and family knowing I was a Diplozoe or them not knowing my true self?
Calliope visited Marla in the day followed by Nicholas and then it was my turn. Once Nicholas heard word of her situation, he extended himself in any way that he could.
I couldn’t bear to see Marla in her state, especially after knowing I had a part in it…indirectly. Fortunately, I had the support of Calliope and Nicholas, which meant the world to me. Between Marla’s family and friends visiting her like clockwork, she was never alone.
I sat in my parked car as an ambulance drove by heading to the emergency department. The loud sirens triggered a flash back of the night of the shooting, and I shook my head, quickly banishing it. It was inevitable—I’d have to make an appearance sooner than later. It would be unusual if I disappeared now of all times, especially since I was one of her best friends. I had known her all my life…online. But who was she to me offline?
Would she even remember me in Styx or in the offline world if she…died? As much as I wanted to know, it pained me to entertain the very thought. I was still afraid to face reality but there was no other way around it.
I arrived at the front desk and stuttered upon speaking. “E-excuse me. I’m looking for the room of Marla Holmes.”
“She’s in room nine down this corridor. Visitors are allowed for another fifteen minutes,” she said hurriedly.
“Thanks.”
Maybe she’d be sleeping. That’d make it a lot easier for me. I just wanted to see her, and make sure she was alright.
I entered her room and to my good fortune, she was deep asleep. I sat beside her and watched as she peacefully rested, connected to an IV and other tubes trailed from her body. The machines monitoring her vitals beeped slowly, calmly—the sounds were all too familiar, triggering what felt like a post traumatic response. My heart raced, my palms were sweaty and my breath caught in my throat. For a moment, I relived a memory in the dome: restrained and connected to a cold metallic headpiece, wires and tubes. Similar sounds even scents deepening the trance-like state I was induced in until a spike in adrenaline brought me back to the present. After some time had passed, I sat beside Marla’s bed, staring at her listless face and body. I stroked her cold hand and it twitched under my touch. I recoiled immediately thereafter and Marla gasped, opening her eyes wide.
“Xenia?” she whispered, staring in disbelief. “You’re h
ere.”
“It’s okay, Marla. Breathe slowly.”
“I’m so happy to see you. It was as though I passed to the other side, or something, and no one knew what I was talking about. But then I saw you, and you knew. I could see it in your eyes. It was like you had crossed there with me to the…other side?”
I could feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. She remembered. My worst fear was coming true.
“Then I realized…you were the last person I saw before…I went into shock. I must’ve been delusional,” she breathed heavily taking frequent breaks.
I could feel the noose slightly loosen. “Don’t over exert yourself, Marla. You need rest. Everything is going to be okay.”
“It’s not okay, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Nicholas came by to see me and that’s when I figured it out…he’s one too.”
My heart halted, clenching for fear of her revelation.
“His eyes did that thing that yours do from time to time, but I always thought it was unique to you. I’m not sure if it’s this altered state I’m in but I’ve noticed it in Nicholas’ eyes…even Edric’s. Xenia, you don’t have to lie anymore…I know,” she whispered before falling into a deep, tranquilized state, leaving me exposed and mute.
After three hours of sleeping by Marla’s side, I was awakened by a nurse. “Miss, it’s past visitor’s hours. I’m going to ask you to be on your way.”
“Thanks for letting me stay.” I planted a kiss on Marla’s cheek before heading out. I needed coffee and a friend to lean on so I called Calliope to see if she could meet me. Just as I dialed out I received a VT.
“Hi, just checking in to see how progress is coming along. Please try your best, and your best better be an A,” she snarled before hitting send.
God. She was unrelenting and even intimidating in her video texts.
I resumed my call to Calliope. “Yo,” she answered abruptly.
“Are you home? Can I swing by for coffee?”
“Of course you can. You okay? You sound…sick,” she asked, concerned. I didn’t pay much attention to myself up until that moment. It was an indistinct sick feeling; a feeling I had only felt once before…the night of the carnival.
Shortly thereafter, I had arrived to Calliope’s loft and her sparkling, worry filled eyes greeted me at the door. “Honey, maybe you need to get some blood work done or something. You’re looking kinda pale and thin…and not in a good way,” she said, even surprising herself.
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll get some rest tonight,” I feigned a smile.
“Let me fix you a nice drink. You’ll sleep like a baby. You’re staying here tonight and I’m not taking no for an answer,” she offered, sternly. “Any changes with Marla?” Her voice softened as she uttered her name.
“She came to, however briefly, but then straight back to sleep.”
“Oh my God, that’s amazing! What’d she say?” she exclaimed, delighted.
What’d she say, Xenia? Think fast.
“Mostly incoherent mumbling. It’s a good sign though.”
“It sure is. Here,” she swiftly handed me a glass, pouring one for herself.
“To Marla.” The sickly feeling in my stomach moved to my chest.
“To Marla,” Calliope choked on the words. Her glazed, reaching eyes soothed me, while in themselves seeking comfort.
After drinking Calliopes magic elixir, mostly rum with a splash of lime, I decided it was time to hit the sack. Calliope’s big loft had two guest bedrooms—rooms that she reserved for Marla and me.
“Thanks for letting me crash,” I said, feeling tipsy after a flight of stairs.
“This is practically your bedroom. I wish you and Marla would reconsider moving in here…once Marla pulls through of course…we could all be roommates.”
“We’d have waaaaaaay way too much fun and then flunk because of all the fun,” I slurred.
“Easy mom. Let’s get you to bed.” She helped me get under the covers and turned the lights off, leaving me to sink into the silk covered, heavenly mattress and pillows abound. I felt as though I’d fallen onto a fluffy cloud, and one by one, clouds surrounded me, protecting me in a soft magical embrace before the lights went out completely.
The following morning, I awoke feeling a touch better. I had rested well but that deep and gnawing sensation throughout my body lingered.
“Morning sunshine. How’d ya sleep?”
“Like a baby, thanks.”
“Another reason why we’d make good roomies—we don’t snore and are practically family.”
“Agreed, but I should go visit Marla. What if she awoke already and no one was there?” I asked, mildly flustered and guilt-ridden.
“No, let me. I know you’ve been feeling a little under the weather so you get your strength back first and then you can visit.”
I hesitated initially, but she insisted. “Go on now. Have some breakfast. I made scrambled eggs and toast,” she motioned to the plates of food and freshly squeezed orange juice. I took a sip and my dry mouth salivated agreeably.
“I’m off to visit Marla. Maybe you need some more sleep…like a whole days’ worth,” she bit her lower lip unsure. “Quite possibly a week.”
“Alright, I’ve got it. I look terrible,” I grimaced, continuing, “I can’t take a week off. I have this neurotic tutorial partner and she’s expecting my end of a project soon.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I spoke with…what’d she say her name was…Tree? Anyhow, I told her everything.”
“What? Did she flip?”
“No no, she said she would speak to the TA who graciously gave the extension about their fallback plan. See? I took care of it,” she beamed, while loosely wrapping a white scarf around her neck and slinging her purse over her shoulder.
“Yeah, you took care of it alright,” I sighed disgruntled. Today I had to do some damage control and it involved consulting with my off-source. I was liberated in the offline world, which meant more collective brain power. It seemed like a good thing at first, but the fugitive part not so much.
I showered and dressed for the day ahead. I couldn’t shake this feeling of dread as I drove to campus. Mostly because of the impending meeting I had, but also the general feeling that I was slipping. I thought I could have a normal life and ignore my supposed birth right; after all it wasn’t written in stone.
Maybe it was.
I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I was better off surrendering to Endeca…
Just as I suspected, she was furious. “Not to worry’ she promised. ‘I’d have it done’ she said. Foolish me to think that I could trust a stranger!” she exclaimed.
“I’m sorry you were misinformed but I fulfilled my part. See?” I said, handing in the proposal along with the other assignments to the TA.
“B-but her roommate said she needed more time.”
The young and rather attractive TA patiently heard us out, judging the evidence imparted before him. Evidence on my end and scuttlebutt on Tree’s.
“I don’t know who you spoke with but I don’t have a roommate.”
Acacia reached for the files, grabbing a hold and tugging at a corner. “I still need to review them before submission.”
“I think I’ve heard enough,” he said, pulling the files briskly from her fingers. Acacia huffed, quickly leaving.
We both stood up and just as we exited, the TA addressed me. “Xenia, this is the only extension I’ve given, ever. Please make sure you don’t fall behind again.”
“I’ll try my best. Thanks again.”
“Try harder,” he pressed, continuing, “Acacia is your partner for the entire year. She’ll suffer a hemorrhage if this happens again.” He suppressed a smile.
&nb
sp; Interesting. Getting a rise out of Acacia was quite funny, and not just to me. “I promise...uh…”
“Reese. You’d know that if you attended any of the tutorials.”
“I’ve attended tutorials.”
He paused, returning to his station, pressing a few buttons on a keyboard by his desk. “Yes, I see that. All of…one.”
“Oh-kay. Thanks again, Reese,” I veered out of the room.
Hmm, mental note: attend more of Reese’s tutorials.
“You,” she scolded, waiting for me just outside his office.
“I’m sorry for any confusion, but you shouldn’t have jumped the gun like you did. Where’s the faith?” I said, heading down the corridor.
“I told you, if I can’t quantify it, then it’s hogwash.”
“You don’t need to quantify anything. Reese will mark it and it’s top notch work—I made sure of it,” I winked playfully. If only she knew.
She skulked, irritated. “Ugh,” she muttered, pulling out a notepad and rigorously crossed off a line. “You’re treading on thin waters, Sanders. You better watch yourself,” she growled, pushing past me.
“Hemorrhages…deathly, tragic hemorrhages,” he whispered, passing me down the corridor.
“Reese, wait. Is there any way I could switch partners with someone less…antagonistic?”
His hazel, dreamy eyes smiled. “I’m afraid not. Listen, Xenia. This is an experience which will help you grow not only as a student, but in life. I’ve had my fair share of difficult partners.” I wondered if he meant colleagues or girlfriends—likely both.
“None like her I bet. You just witnessed Tree in her finest hour. You saw that right? She murdered her notepad. Two more seconds of that and I swear it’d have caught fire!”
“I stand corrected. She is a breed of her own,” he silently chuckled.
We both were.
“All the more reason for you to work with her. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. When you’re faced with challenges, you grow stronger. The only other alternative is dropping the course.”