I tentatively threw the ball into the air and willed it to detonate. With a small flash of light and a sizzling noise the mana exploded into small particles. I got to my feet to inspect one. I felt a slight tingle as my hand passed through the particle and watched as the particle was absorbed into my skin.
“Feels funny doesn’t it,” Renee commented.
I nodded in agreement. I was fascinated how they just appeared to hang in mid-air.
“Strange how they just hang there,” I mused.
“They hang until they’re out of power,” Renee replied, “then they fall.”
“Pretty though.”
Renee simply nodded and casually reached back to turn off the lamp behind her. The interplay of lights on the wall increased in intensity as the other illumination in the room was removed.
“If I was a stoner, this would be better than Pink Floyd.” I joked, sliding over onto the couch next to her, casually resting my arm on the back of the couch.
“Smooth,” Renee teased as she leaned over and rested her head against my shoulder.
“Hey, at least I didn’t do a yawn and reach,” I protested.
“Good point, I’d have had to hit you if you did that,” Renee smirked.
“I’m glad I didn’t push it then, after the last time you hit me,” I commented. “I’m not sure I’d survive the experience.”
“Yeah,” Renee agreed. “How’s your shoulder now?”
“Itches a bit, but that’s probably just the tacky shirt.” I laughed.
“Suck it up, princess,” Renee chuckled as she nestled further into the crook of my arm.
I sighed gently and pulled my arm around her protectively.
“Devon?” Renee whispered tentatively.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
I didn’t answer her at first. Instead I leant forward and kissed the back of her head, pulling her in close to my chest. “I’m sure.”
“I’ll be no good for you,” Renee whispered desperately. “I’ll end up breaking your heart and tearing your life apart, I won’t be able to help myself.”
I wasn’t sure if she was trying to talk me or herself out of this.
“Our kind just doesn’t play happy families,” Renee reflected sadly.
“There must be a first for everything – even this,” I whispered back, holding her tighter as I moved my face down next to hers.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Renee whispered as she turned her head and our lips connected. The feel of her lips desperately pressing against mine sent a shiver down my spine. In that one moment I could feel her need, her desire. She wanted me, but what’s more she needed me and I her. I guess I filled some dark part of her that she kept secret and hidden from the world around her. I couldn’t tell you how I knew this, but I knew it with a burning intensity that filled my core. I knew this with the knowledge too that she had the same intuition for me.
She knew me as no other had and no other would.
I pulled her against me as I lay back onto the couch. The mana light was failing and casting the room in a dim light, but I could see the mana in her eyes flicker with her need, a need mirrored in mine.
It was that one perfect moment that they talk of in the romantic movies. I was just me and she was simply herself. No jokes, no pretence – everything we had built around ourselves for protection was swept away.
Pain, sorrow, loss and regret were all accepted and cast down as we revelled in the bonding of our union. Our bodies entwined as the mana flowed freely across our bodies, reacting to each other as the particles began a slow dance across our flesh. We never said another word to each other that night – there was no need. We simply lay under the fading light of the mana glow and watched with a contented smile the slight fizzle as the last mana particle that hung above us winked out of existence.
I woke up with Renee curled up in my arms, asleep with her head resting against my chest. In her slumber the lines on her face had softened and the mask of indifference and mocking was gone, replaced by a look of contentment. If I thought she was beautiful before, I was wrong. She was breathtaking. I gazed down at her as if it was the first time I’d seen her and knew in my heart that things would never be the same. I was forever changed by the experience, at long last I was hers and she was mine.
I have looked back on this night many times since. When the pain of remembering the past becomes too much I cast my mind back and remember that night with a smile. It has always been a beacon of hope for me in these dark days. I am not too shallow to admit that in a strange way Renee was my salvation and redemption. It was perhaps this fact alone that allowed me to stand when those around me fell and were cast down.
CHAPTER TEN
“...and then what happened?” Tony asked with a goofy grin on his face.
“Well, then I went back to Dad’s,” I replied with an equally cheesy grin, “and it was around then that I realised I had seven missed calls from him.”
“Wow, was he pissed?”
“Yeah,” I reflected sadly, “he grounded me.”
“Sucks to be you,” Tony teased.
“Actually, all in all, not so much,” I replied. “I think I’d do it all again the same way.”
Tony nodded and patted me on the shoulder causing me to wince.
“That’s the shoulder, eh?”
“Yeah,” I grumbled back, “so I’d appreciate you not whacking it.”
Tony and I were walking home from school. I couldn’t wait to tell someone what had happened and by necessity I couldn’t exactly tell anyone else. This was the first time I’d gotten Tony alone all day.
“Did you get her number this time?” he asked.
“Yep.”
“The right one this time?”
I nodded again.
“Are you sure?” Tony pressed.
I shook my head. “I’m too scared to try it.”
“I can understand that,” Tony chuckled. “You should call her though.”
“What? Now?”
“Yep,” Tony replied. “Go on, I’ll wait.”
I tentatively pulled my phone from my jacket and dialled her number and waited for the several rings it took before a soft female voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Renee?” I asked tentatively.
“Yes, who am I speaking with?” she responded.
“It’s Devon – you know… from the other night,” I babbled, not really paying much attention to what I was saying.
“Yes, Devon,” Renee replied dryly. “I didn’t need the reminder.”
“I panicked,” I replied. “I didn’t expect this to actually be your number. You’ve given me so many fake ones.”
“Third number’s the charm,” Renee quipped. “Did you actually want something? Or are you just calling me to prove you’re even more annoying over the phone than in person?”
My mind was racing desperately to come back with an answer. Any answer that wouldn’t make me look like a complete idiot. I didn’t come up with much.
“… and now there’s a stunned silence at the other end,” Renee cut in after a few seconds. “Well done, Devon, your phone manner is perfect.”
“Hey, cut me some slack,” I blurted out. “I was just ringing to see if this was actually your number.”
“Didn’t plan ahead as to what you were going to actually say then, huh?” I could just picture Renee’s twisted smile as I heard her words.
“No, guess not.”
“Want a do-over?”
“Please.”
“Think it will help?”
“Probably not.” I conceded.
“Well, I’ve got to go, but for the record it was nice to hear from you,” Renee replied. “Call me again when you’ve actually got anything interesting to say.”
“I will,” I promised hastily. “Bye!” I shot in just before I heard the click of Renee hanging up.
“Well that went well,” Tony com
mented as I put the phone back in my pocket.
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you’re getting better talking to women.” Tony suggested.
“Maybe,” I nodded.
“Wonders never cease. Are you coming over to Sarah’s tonight?”
“No, why?”
“Some study group thing, I just assumed you knew about it,” Tony continued.
“Well, better not then,” I replied, concerned. Maybe Sarah was still avoiding me.
I knew she was still a little sore with me over the whole fiasco with Tina, but I didn’t think it was this personal. It usually took Sarah a couple of weeks to get over things and then she’d be fine. Maybe this was going to take a little longer.
“No,” Tony smiled, obviously noticing my expression, “I’m sure it was just that you weren’t around when the plans were made.”
I nodded half-heartedly. I wasn’t so certain that this was the case.
“I’d turn up anyway.”
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“You’re really reading more into this than there is.”
“Maybe,” I replied, “but if I am right I really don’t want to make a scene.”
“You won’t!” Tony announced, throwing his arm over my shoulders. “Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“You live your life by that philosophy. Don’t you?”
Tony nodded agreeably.
“Well, it’s all academic anyway,” I replied dryly.
“Oh? How so?”
“I’m grounded.”
“I thought you were just grounded at your dad’s?” Tony grinned.
“It doesn’t really work that way.”
“Yeah, it’s annoying when parents talk,” Tony replied as we rounded the corner into my street. “Well, you’ll be missed.” Tony chuckled, tousling my hair and pushing me in the direction of my house.
“Have fun,” I called as he turned to walk towards Sarah’s. I headed straight home.
Mum had left some dinner for me in fridge and I spent the night hitting the books. I doubted that it was productive but it was long overdue. We got our results from our exam on the following day and as I’d expected I didn’t do that well, but it could have been worse. At least I’d passed, barely. I suppose it’s all a matter of expectation. I wasn’t too upset with my result.
The results were supposed to be private but Sarah had demanded that I share mine with her. Tina was with her and I didn’t really want her to know. Still, I told them.
Sarah muttered, “Well, that’s better than expected,” But Tina was appalled. “You need to do better for your finals,” she said.
“Not really, I don’t really need to get good grades,” I reminded her. “I’m not going to university.”
“I thought you were thinking of deferring,” Sarah said. “You still need the grades.”
“That’s not even the point,” Tina scolded me.
“So? What? I’m studying for study’s sake?” I scoffed.
“No, you’re studying to prove that you’re capable of learning new information,” Tina lectured. “University aside, the ability to teach yourself new things is a fundamental skill that you’re going to need no matter what you end up doing.”
“You’ve been practicing that speech a bit haven’t you?” I teased gently.
“A little,” Tina admitted with a smile, “but I do wish you’d take this more seriously.”
“I will. I promise.” I wasn’t overly sure how serious my promise was.
There was an awkward silence.
“Tony tells me you’re now seeing someone. That was quick? What’s her name? Renee?” Tina said suddenly.
Both Sarah and I to turned to gape at her.
“Tony really should learn to keep his mouth shut,” Sarah grunted angrily.
“No, no it’s okay,” Tina responded. “I asked why Devon wasn’t studying with us last night.”
“I got grounded.”
“Yeah, Tony said that too,” Tina continued. “Is she nice? Does she make you happy?” Her voice sounded bitter.
“I think so. It’s early days though,” I replied, hoping she’d drop the subject.
“Tony said you were interested in her before we went out.” she pressed.
“Well, kind of, yes,” I mumbled, scratching my head. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled again, hoping another apology might help.
I could literally see Sarah’s eyes targeting me like a laser. It was like she was daring me to put one foot wrong. Sweat began to form on my brow and my hands began to get a little clammy.
“Oh,” Tina continued, “I’m so sorry, Devon, I realise now in hindsight that I did kind of force the relationship onto you.”
I could see Sarah’s eyes narrowing and taking aim. I felt like those guys in the action movies where they know they’ve got the sniper’s laser target on their forehead but are too scared to move.
“No,” I gasped, desperately trying to avoid both Sarah and Tina’s gaze. “Don’t apologise, you did nothing wrong – nothing at all.”
“Did you have fun with me though? When we were together?” Tina asked nervously, her hands crunched up before her.
I nodded back and tentatively pulled her into a hug.
“Just, stop,” I whispered. “There’s really no need for this, when I was with you I was definitely happy, it just wasn’t meant to be, you know?”
Tina nodded and pulled back.
“Thank you, Devon,” she whispered as she hurried off down the corridor.
“Smooth,” Sarah commented as we both watched her leave.
“Leave me alone,” I grumbled. “I’m not really in the mood to be mocked.”
“Actually, that was sincere,” Sarah replied. “You’re a good person, Devon.”
“I’m going to kill your boyfriend when I see him next,” I announced as we began our walk to our next class.
“Not unless I see him first,” Sarah vowed.
* * * *
I caught up with Tony at lunchtime.
“Ouch!” Tony exclaimed as I clipped him over the head. “What was that for?”
“You know damned well what for!”
“Sarah already hit me for that!”
“It’s true! I did.” Sarah grinned.
“Well, I’m sure Sarah’s girly punches don’t count,” I retorted, throwing myself into the seat next to Tony and placing my tray on the table.
“Oh? You want some of this mister?” Sarah blustered, flexing her arms.
“Sarah, as much as I love you, you’ll never really be in the running for muscle woman of the year.”
“Ouch!” I exclaimed as Sarah’s right hook caught me just below the shoulder.
I could see Tony cringe as the blow impacted. She’d hit my injured shoulder. It hurt like blazes.
“Take it like a man!” Sarah exclaimed triumphantly, noting the expression on my face. “Now who’s being girly?”
“Uhh, Sarah,” Tony began, “that was Devon’s injured shoulder.”
“Oh my God!” Sarah exclaimed. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to! What injured shoulder?” Sarah blurted out quickly.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” I assured her.
“What happened?” Sarah pressed.
How could I tell her anything without explaining the mana though? Anything else would make Renee come out in a bad light. I wanted my friends to like her, to accept her. “It’s nothing. I just fell through some glass and cut myself.”
Sarah sucked all the breath into her mouth in one gasp and went a little white.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I assured her, “it’s really not that bad.”
A stunned silence descended over the table as none of us were much in the mood to talk. I was desperately trying to think of something – anything that would lighten the mood. Unfortunately I was coming up blank.
“Gee, way to kill the conversation, Sarah!” Tony snickered.
“Ouc
h!” he exclaimed as Sarah’s hand clipped him across the back of the head.
“I thought you might have learned your lesson about hitting people,” Tony muttered, ruefully rubbing the back of his head.
“At the moment, I’m tempted to throw you through a window,” Sarah grumbled.
“I don’t recommend it, it hurts!” I chuckled. This elicited a giggle from Sarah as she leaned forward and kissed Tony on the cheek.
“There, all better!” she cooed in his ear. I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.
“Well, I’m feeling quite abused today,” Tony announced. “That’s the third time this hour someone’s hit my head and the day’s not even half over!”
“Eh, no harm.” I snickered. “It’s not like you’re going to damage brain cells.”
“Hey! My brain cells are an endangered species, man! Endangered!” he drawled, drawing out the last word.
“They’re practically extinct!” I shot back.
“There was no need to agree with me,” he mumbled forlornly.
“So? Study group Monday nights, eh?” I asked once we’d stopped laughing.
Sarah nodded.
“You don’t think Mondays are bad enough as it is?”
“Well, Monday just makes more sense.” Sarah nodded. “We’re all nice and fresh for the new week.”
“Sadist!”
“Do you want to join us?”
“I can’t! I’m grounded,” I grunted.
“You know your mum would let you come to a study session! I guess you are trying to make a good excuse,” Sarah said. “How long are you grounded for anyway?”
“A week.”
“What did you do to deserve that?”
“I stayed out all night… And didn’t tell Dad. I forgot to call him. I got home on Saturday morning and he was plenty pissed.”
“Really? That seems kind of stupid,” Sarah commented. “Your parents are pretty cool, and your dad is very chilled. If you’d called him he would have been okay with it”.
“Yeah, I should have.”
“Gettin’ it ‘awn,” Tony drawled in a mock American accent, “can make a dude a bit distracted.”
Sarah snorted into her drink. “Oh!” She laughed. “Lucky Renee. Devon’s not bad, I’ve had better though.”
Tony and I snapped our heads around and gazed at her in shock. To my memory I’d never even kissed Sarah on the cheek. I was desperately trying to think when even a kiss might have happened and was coming up blank. What was she saying? Tony’s eyes had narrowed and he was looking at me in a funny fashion.
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