"Sorry," he moaned. "Wow, that was like a shot of electricity, right to my heart, and unfortunately it didn't come from our kiss." he said.
"Get off your feet. Trent."
I helped him back to his bed. He sat and then lowered himself slowly and stared up at the ceiling.
"Are you all right? Do you want something?"
"I'm okay. It's easing up. I wouldn't take the painkillers. I knew you and I were going to study tonight." he said.
"Oh. Well, maybe you should now."
"Yeah. I guess. Let me call for your taxi first." he said, then struggled into a sitting position and lifted the phone receiver, "Maybe you can get me a glass of water in the meantime."
"Of course," I said, and hurried out to the kitchen. It was so long and wide, with beautiful cabinets and granite counters. I found the cabinet with the glasses and filled one with water.
"The cab will be here in ten minutes." he said when I returned. He was lying back on his pillow. I gave him the glass of water, and he took a pill out of the bottle on the nightstand and downed it quickly.
"'Do you want me to put away your albums?"
"No, that's all right. Relax." he said, patting the space beside him. I sat, and he reached up to touch my shoulder. "Looking at you already takes the pain away."
"Sure it does," I said, smiling at him
skeptically.
"Kissing you does for sure," he followed. He fixed his eyes on mine, and I smiled and leaned down to kiss him again. It was a longer kiss, his arms around me, holding me until I sprawled out beside him and he kissed me on the cheek, ran his fingers through my hair, and then turned my face to kiss me again. He lowered his chin to my breasts and moved over them, gently caressing them with his cheek. It clamped a surge of warmth over me that brought a small moan from my lips.
Most of the girls my age had done far more with boys and were far more experienced. Of course. I wandered if I had kissed him right, if I should let him touch me as he was touching me, but the excitement and the gentle way he caressed me kept panic and fear deeply buried under my awn fascination with every new feeling.
"If I could keep you here beside me all night, my ankle would be all better in the morning." he whispered.
"Sure. I'm a miracle worker. I have the power in my hands and lips."
"To me you do," he said. He kissed me again, this time with his hands moving over my breasts. I started to pull away, but he fell back instead and smiled. "Wow. I'm feeling the pill already," he said. "Do me a favor. Take off the shoe on my left foot. And the sock."
I did so quickly. He sat up and raised his arms,
"My shirt," he said.
I helped him lift it off his body. He undid the buckle of his belt. "I'll sleep in my underwear tonight." he said. "Tug away,"
I had come over to study history, and I was about to help him take off his pants? My moment of hesitation made him laugh.
"It's just like looking at someone in a bathing suit." he said.
I shook my head but did it Then I folded them and put them on a hanger for him. I did the same with his shirt.
"Thanks," he said, shifting under his blanket.
We heard the taxi driver sounding the horn,
"It's all paid for. You don't have to leave him a tip or anything."
"Are you all right?"
"Yes. I am now." he said, smiling with his eyes closed. "I'm just going to lie here and dream about you."
It brought a smile to my face. I thought for a moment, and then I leaned over and kissed him.
"Did I turn into a frog," he muttered, "or a prince?"
"A little boy," I replied, and he laughed. He kept his eyes closed.
"Put out the light, please," he said.
I gathered up my books, snapped off his lights, looked back at him, and said goad night. He barely whispered a reply. I hurried out to the front door, feeling as if I was walking on a bed of marshmallows. Then I slipped out quietly and hurried to the waiting taxi. As we pulled away, I gazed back at the house. wishing I could have done just what he dreamed of me doing: slipping in beside him and lying with him all night,
.
Mommy and Daddy were sitting in the kitchen having tea when I arrived. They both looked up expectantly, neither looking upset but both looking curious, even a bit amused.
"A boy sent a taxi for you to help him study?" Daddy asked without saying hello.
"You read my note, didn't you. Mommy?"
"Yes, honey."
"Sprained his ankle," Daddy said. 'I have heard of many different ways to get a young woman to your house. Men used to say. 'Come up and look at my paintings.'"
They both laughed.
"He really did sprain his ankle! He's a baseball player, and he slid into third trying to turn a double into a triple," I fired back at them.
"Oh." Daddy said. "That's different. So you got in some real studying, then?" he asked, still with a coy, impish smile around his lips.
"Yes, we did."
"No paintings?" Daddy asked. teasing.
The fury left my face and I smiled at him. "No, not paintings, but lots of old baseball cards."
"Baseball cards? Now that is really a new one. I can see bubble gum, but the cards?"
"They are very valuable cards. Daddy. He has a wonderful collection worth a lot of money, not that he would ever sell it. He even has cards of famous women baseball players."
"Is that right? I didn't know there was such a thing."
"And cards that were first put on cigarette packs, not bubble gum," I added,
"Very educational evening," Daddy said. nodding. Out of the corner of my eye. I could see that Mommy was baffling to keep from laughing.
For your information, it was." I said. "Make all the fun of me you want." I added, and shot off to my room. Mommy couldn't stop her laugh from following, but I slammed my door closed behind me and dropped myself to my bed facedown. About a minute later there was a soft knock on my door,
"What?" I cried,
The door opened slightly, and Daddy poked his head in.
"Has the minefield been cleared in here? I don't want to step on anything."
"Very funny." I turned and folded my arms under my breasts, my face in a pout.
Daddy stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry I teased you," he said. "You were just an easy target of opportunity I couldn't resist."
"I was not."
He tilted his head to see if I was serious. I turned away so he couldn't see me starting to smile.
"You have to admit that spraining his ankle and sending a taxi for you was a bit unusual. I bet you thought so yourself," he said, inching closer to the bed. "Come on. Sailor Girl, be honest."
I kept my face turned away, but my lips were crumbling like the walls of Jericho. I looked at him and laughed.
"That's my Sailor Girl."
"I was suspicious, yes. but Mommy told me not to be overly suspicious or I would never have any fun."
"Oh, she did. huh? She left that little detail out of her summary." he said.
"She only meant to help me, to keep me from being too frightened to enjoy life," I said.
"I know. It's good advice. There's nothing pleasant about paranoia. So. I gather it was a good allaround experience. You like this disabled ballplayer?"
"He's not disabled. Daddy. He just sprained his ankle."
"Yeah, that's no fun." he said. "Since we're being honest with each other. I'll confess I'm just being a jealous father. Every father has to realize there will come a day when he will no longer be the center of his daughter's world, when someone else will step in and capture her attention and interest. I'm just a sore loser. That's all."
"No one has captured all my interest," I said.
"Maybe not, but it's a start. It's all right. You don't have to defend yourself for doing what every healthy young woman should do. I just have to grow up."
"Grow up? You?"
"We all have to grow, change, adjus
t constantly. Grace. It's part of life. maturing. Some resist it more than others and suffer mare."
I shook my head. I couldn't imagine my father having to change a bit,
"When you stop learning, stop being openminded, you die or wilt on the branch. This is an ongoing process, this thing we call life. honey. We're on a journey, and we soon realize that's what's most important: the journey itself. If you reach a goal and stop traveling, what's the point? Understand?"
"I think so." I said.
You will. I have a great deal of faith in you. So," he said. standing. -'how's he going to take you to the end-of-the-year dance or prom if he can't stand?"
I laughed. He didn't ask me to any dance. Daddy."
"Maybe he's not as smart as I thought. Maybe you need to put your picture on a baseball card and give it to him." he kidded.
"Daddy, stop it."
"If he's got any sense, any grit, he'll be calling and asking. If not,
he's failed in his mission, Anyway, I didn't want you going to sleep angry at me."
"I wouldn't," I said "I just wouldn't sleep."
He laughed. "Okay. Sailor Girl, Sweet dreams, no matter whom they are about."
He leaned dawn to kiss me on the cheek and then gave me a salute. which I returned.
I kept my smile until after he left. I felt very lucky, lucky to have him, to have a mother like the one I had. Maybe we lived like nomads and we were uprooted too often and suffered in ways other people didn't. but I didn't feel cheated. I would never feel that way as long as I had my parents and we continued to care more about each other than we did about ourselves.
I did dream that night.
I dreamed of Trent sliding into third only not hurting himself.
He stood up and then turned toward home because I was standing there at the plate, waiting for him.
4
Men and Their Toys
.
When I went to school the next day I felt more
confident and self-assured than I had ever felt at this school or any other. I couldn't explain why. Trent and I hadn't done much more than a pair of junior high students might do these days, but somehow I could sense a new maturity in me. I felt older, experienced, more invulnerable, especially to whatever Wendi and Penny could throw my way. It was as if I had gained some ancient wisdom or waken it in my sleeping brain and now realized that the Grinchy twins, as I liked to think of them, weren't worth a minute of worry when it came to how they would affect my life and happiness. It was better and far easier to pretend they were invisible.
I told that to Trent when he and I sat together in the cafeteria while, at the next table down. Wendi and Penny squirmed like two termites into the brains of all their devotees. He laughed and nodded,
"I do the same thing sometimes, pretend people I don't like or people who just annoy me aren't there. I look right through them, block out whatever they say. My friends think I'm daydreaming, but it's easier that way."
We talked so much that day, every opportunity we had. He had come to school on his crutch, of course, and all of his buddies and many other girls hovered about him as though he had been wounded in a gallant battle, showing great courage. The crutch was a medal, an honor. Same actually wanted to touch it as if it had a magical quality.
As quickly and as gracefully as he could, he escaped from them to come to me every chance he had. The result was that more and more of the students who wouldn't give me the time of the day before were now interested in me. I knew a few of the girls had crushes on Trent as heavy as the one Autumn had carried secretly in her heart. I knew they thought that if they found reasons to be with me, they would be with him, and competition for his attention grew more intense. Before long we were struggling for opportunities to be alone, even if it was for a few moments in the hallway or the minutes we had together in the cafeteria before they descended on us like honey bees drawing whatever succor they could from Trent's smile or friendly words.
First thing in the afternoon after lunch was our history exam. Mr. Caswell offered to give Trent a makeup test if he felt his injury had made it impossible for him to study well. I thought that was generous, but Wendi nudged me to say, "If he wasn't a school sports hero, he'd be left to sink or swim." To her surprise and even a little to mine. Trent refused the offer and said he was better prepared than ever. Of course, he looked my way and smiled, which turned every other girl's spotlight eyes to me for a moment of envy so thick and green it made the air around me hot and hard to breathe.
Moments later the class was quiet and the test had begun. There was nothing on it that Trent and I had not covered. One of the essay questions looked as if it had been created out of my very notes, in fact. I saw Trent smile with confidence, glance back at me, and then go at it. Afterward he made a paint of telling me how much studying with me had helped him. He said it loudly enough so that anyone who didn't know by now knew we had spent some of the previous evening together at his house.
Whatever new image I had developed simply because he was showing me attention in the halls and cafeteria of our school exploded into celebrity with this revelation. In an instant I was being thought of as Trent Ralston's new steady girlfriend. It was as if I had won the lottery.
When he asked to study English with me for our upcoming exam. I couldn't help but feel a little ball of excitement swirl up from the pit of my stomach to the center of my thumping heart.
"I'll even come to your house and take a chance that your father won't bite. The doctor said I can drive as long as I don't take any painkillers, and I want my mind clear when I'm with you I mean studying with you." he said.
I felt it was all right for me to invite him without first asking my parents. I knew Daddy had a major training exercise all day and into the early evening hours. When I got home and told Mommy, she asked me why I didn't invite him to dinner as well. The thought had not occurred to me. but I felt as though I had missed an opportunity and perhaps disappointed him.
You can still do it if you want," she said. "It's not that late in the day."
"Should I?"
"Sure," she said, making it sound like almost nothing when to me it was like running the twominute mile or something, a major accomplishment. I had never invited a boy I liked to dinner with my parents.
"Just don't make it sound like we're having something special. I'm doing chicken burgers with home flies and string beans. Maybe I'll get something special for dessert," she concluded. "You'd better tell him just in case he doesn't like chicken burgers. Tell him I'll make him a peanut butter sandwich if he won't eat my chicken burgers."
"Mommy!"
"Just kidding. Your father loves my chicken burgers. I add a lot of secret ingredients." She studied me a moment. I saw the amusement in her eyes, amusement at my nervous hesitation. "Let me know if you work up enough courage to call him and if he accepts. so I can put out another plate and prepare a little more," she said.
I berated myself for being so silly and bashful and went right to the phone. The first question from Trent was, "Is your father going to be there. too?"
"Stop worrying about him. Trent. He's just a naval officer. He's not an ogre. And anyway, he will be late tonight. He's on a training exercise."
"Oh. Sure, well, that's very nice of your mother. I'll be there," he said.
Despite myself. when I told her. I couldn't contain the underlying flow of excitement in my voice. If only she knew haw important I had felt all day and haw happy I was. I thought, but then I wondered how I would tell her about all that without sounding like a lovesick puppy.
"Okay. Since we have a guest for dinner. I'll put out silverware so we don't eat everything with our fingers," she joked.
"Mommy!"
She went off laughing, and I retreated to my room, suddenly feeling as if everything in my life had become more vivid, more vibrant, whether colors, sounds, or even the scent of my colognes and shampoo. For me there was an electricity in the air. It was more charged than it had been
for any birthday or any previous special occasion. Was I being foolish? He was just a boy I had become more friendly with, I told myself. But when I looked at my face in the mirror. I saw how futile it was to think I could lie to myself. The truth was there in my eyes, in the flush in my cheeks. whether I wanted it to be there or not.
A few minutes later the phone rang. My heart went on pause. Was it Trent now telling me something had come up and he couldn't come after all? Mommy spoke for a while, but her voice was muffled. Then she came to my room.
"That was your father. He wants us to go over to the airport to see the helicopters take off. It's an impressive sight, he says. I told him you had homework to do and I had to go get some things for dinner because we had a guest coming, but he sounded so disappointed. I told him you and I would stop by on my way to the supermarket. Okay?"
"Of course." I said, practically jumping out of my shoes, first because it wasn't Trent canceling and then because I knew it would be exciting to watch all those helicopters lift off with Daddy in command.
"Well, let's hurry," she said, and we went out to the car and drove over to the airport.
It was a beautiful, clear twilight with the sky turning into that navy blue with clouds smeared across it as if they had been spread with a butter knife. Daddy had left word we were arriving, so we were passed through security. Mommy parked the car, and we walked toward the helicopters. There were about two dozen, all resembling gigantic alien insects. I knew what kind of power they possessed and how deadly they could be.
Daddy was very busy with preparations and could barely look our way and wave.
"Men and their toys." Mommy muttered.
Yes. I thought, and then thought how impressed Trent would have been if I could have brought him along with us.
"I wish they'd hurry," Mommy said. "Don't they know I have things to do?"
I smiled at her and looked at Daddy again. By watching the way the other men reacted to what he said. I could see the respect and authority he commanded. It made me proud. and I knew from the look of admiration and love in Mommy's face that she felt the same way.
Finally he walked toward his waiting men. When he reached them he turned toward us and gave me our special salute, which I, of course. returned.
DeBeers 04 Into the Woods Page 6