“Is everything okay?” he finally noticed that something wasn't right with me. I looked at him. I knew that I shouldn't be here now. I should go from this flat right now and try to let this new fact settle.
“I got a message,” I chose to lie. “Avery has some problems at home. She wants me to come back,” I put my hand on my pocket in which was my mobile phone. “I am sorry,” I looked at him, trying my best to look really sorry for ruining our time together.
“I can't say that I am not sad,” he run with his fingers on my cheek,” but maybe then we could spend some time together tomorrow?” and he kissed me. Strangely, but my lips didn't care that he was my cousin.
“I will try,” I promised, but I also promised myself to avoid him for couple of days before I would find out what was happening.
“I love you,” he kissed me again.
This time I repeated those words without truly feeling something to him.
Tobias walked with me to the nearest U-bahn stop. There he kissed me again, telling me how much he loved me. I only could smile hearing those words.
But I didn't hurry to go home. Christopher and Avery were just puppets, who knew what was told them. I need a person, who knew more than them and it was Eduard. Was he waiting for me to find this choking fact? If so, I knew it and I didn't wait for our meeting. I wanted to know everything right now.
The doorman greeted me and let me in without any problems. Soon the same young woman approached me, telling that Mr. Eduard wasn't expecting me today, but he will still meet me.
I waited for him in the same living room. But this time on the table were two cups of tee, a plate full of cookies. It seemed that this will be a long conversation between us or he was just waiting for something.
“So, you are here, Trinity,” he was wearing a white costume with a black tie. “Why are you here?” he sat down gracefully.
“About my soulmate. He is my cousin,” I said in disgust. “Who was a wally to make me his soulmate?”
He grinned.
“So, finally you found that out. Took you long to find that out.”
“You knew.”
“Of course, Trinity. I knew who Tobias is to you. That was one of the reasons why his soul was put in that body.”
“My ears are dieing to hear that reason.”
“First things first,” he took a cup into his hand. “You are with tracking devices. Didn't I ask you to come here without them?”
“Well,” I frowned,” I was so curious to know the truth that I didn't care about anything else.”
“Lucky for you, this building turns off those devices. But still, I don't think Christopher is stupid. I heard only good responses about him and his job.”
“I came here to chat about other things, Mr. Eduard. So, please, tell me how it happened that I am my cousin's soulmate.”
He took a sip of his tea.
“It's your own fault really.”
“My fault?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Your soulmate died, so you were killed. But you had the gift of God, so we just wanted you to continue your job. So, your soulmate was put into your cousin's body, to make sure that you would have access to your stories.”
“But something happened.”
“You are right. Something happened. Your soul didn't want a new body, so, the baby died. Do you know who’s sister you would have been?”
I shook my head.
“Well, maybe I should let you find that out by yourself then.”
“No!” I said in angry tone. “Tell me,” I ordered him.
“So vicious,” he said, lifting one corner of his lips up. “You know Agnes, right?”
I nodded.
“Her mother was pregnant. She knew your aunt. Everything was perfect.”
I clenched my hands into fist. Everything was far away from being perfect. I was brought back from dead, the man to whom my heart belonged was my cousin... I will meet my aunt and her husband, which I didn't have opportunity to meet. My aunt would immediately recognize me.
“Can you just kill us again and...”
He shook his head.
“No. We don't know how special your soul is and risking to kill you again... No, Trinity. We don't like to take any kind of risk. Something in you is special and we would like to find that out. Yes, it is really devastating that your soulmate is you cousin, but that is only status. Your feelings for him will eventually force you to ignore that, Trinity”
“What else should I know about myself?”
“That it is your turn to tell me about yourself, Trinity. You are a riddle to us, driving us crazy.”
“Well, I should correct you. It is you, who are driving me crazy. Really, show me a person who would like to be killed, wake up in the coffin and love his cousin.”
He sipped his tea again, not hiding his smile on his face. This situation amused him while it was scaring me. Not to mention that on the top of all this, was my strange pull to Christopher. Yea, I was in deep shit.
“Yes, I think you wouldn't have ever thought to write down anything like this, but, Trinity, it is your reality. That is why we are feared that the hunters could be interested in you more that in other souls.”
“Well, I am interested in them too, right now.”
He understood that I was just joking.
“Next weekend there will be a fund-raiser. I would like to see you there with your soulmate. And of course, with your protector and tutor. I will send invitations to your home.”
“You are good at changing the topic,” I said.
“Well, Trinity, we have to make sure that you are safe.”
“By saying safe, you mean to have sex with my cousin?” I asked in calm voice. It was strange how that fact didn't color my cheeks in red.
“Yes, “ he nodded seriously. “We don't want to risk your safety. If it be needed, we will force you ourselves to spread your legs widely and have him in your body that your souls could be connected once and for all.”
My eyes almost dropped from my eyeholes. Would they really do that? The idea of that stopped my heart in my chest. I really couldn't understand why I was so special for them, because I didn't feel special at all.
“I see you don't like that idea,” he put his cup on the table. “But that is the truth. We don't know who you are for real and we don't want to risk. So, we will do what it needs for you to be a healthy soul. You need to connect with Tobias. Maybe then many questions will be answered.”
I doubted that, but I didn't say that out loud. Now I wanted myself to know who I really was. And how it seemed, I would have to find that out on myself, because no one knew the answer to that.
“And what if I struggle. What if I decide to kill myself?” I was testing really dangerous waters. I knew that, but also I didn't care. What could they do to me here now?
He grinned.
“I know you had thoughts about suicide, but you were too weak to kill yourself. So, why do you think this time would be different?”
Because I am not that girl anymore, I said in my mind.
“Trinity, sometimes there are things from which we can't run away. The only way to solve them, is to face them with a smile.”
I looked at my hands on my lap. His words were so familiar to me. Maybe because I used them in one of my stories?
He knew so much about me that it scared me. He was using my own words to give me courage and hope. He was a clever bastard.
“But there are also some of them which have to be greeted with a sword,“ I lifted my eyes to meet his.
He nodded his head to one side.
“Maybe we should give you a sword. What do you think about that?”
“What kind of sword?”
“A real one. You know, we have many theories of who you could be,” I waited patiently for him to continue. But he didn't hurry to do that. He took a cookie and slowly ate it. “We think that you could be a solution, how to destroy the hunters.”
I burst out laughing. Me
, killing someone? I was a vegetarian, for God's sake. But Eduard didn't laugh and soon I stopped. Some seconds I just stared at him, trying to find something what could tell me that he was joking. But no, he was serious. That solemn face was really telling me that they thought that I will destroy the hunters.
“You are hallucinating if you think that I could kill someone.”
“Yes, that could be a problem. But we think we could solve it. You just need to understand the importance of your destiny.”
I opened my mouth. My destiny. That sounded so nice in my stories. But that was all, stories. Nothing more and nothing else. This... this was painful reality.
“It's a theory,” I heard myself saying. “I won't kill anyone. If you want a killer, there are a lot of people, who were actually trained for that. I am not a fighter. I am a writer. The only weapons I hold are a pen and a paper.”
“For now it would be enough,” he pull a catlike smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes.
“I need to go,” I said as I stood up.
“So, I see you have all answers to your questions. That's good,” he didn't stand up.
“And more,” I said in horror.
“Yes,” he nodded. “I have heard that sex is really a worth thing to try.”
I hugged myself. Now the idea of making love with Tobias didn't seem so exciting for me anymore. I even doubted if I could ever jump with him on the bed.
I walked out, leaving Eduard alone with his own horrible thoughts and plans. One thing I could promise him, I won't do what I didn't want to.
Chapter seventeen
In my stories I always tried to teach my characters to find out what kind of motives every side had. Maybe one was lying to you, trying to convince you that they were fighting for true and beauty, although they hated those things and did everything what was in their power to destroy them. So, I needed to have a little chat with the hunters themselves before I could really understand what was happening around me.
Don't trust anyone that was my motto and my curse.
I hugged myself firmer and looked up. The sky was dark and ready to greet the night. But I wasn't. I pulled out my phone. One hundred missed calls from Christopher. There were also some messages from Tobias.
Great, I said mentally as I put the phone back to my pocket. Christopher knew that I wasn't at my soulmate's home. I wondered, what would he do to me?
I walked to the nearest U-bahn stop. I didn't want to go home right now, but I needed to talk with my protector and tutor about this thing. They knew who Tobias was and hid the truth from me. I won't forgive the, but I doubted that they even wanted to have my forgiveness. To them I was only a mission. Special mission.
A tear escaped from my eye. I didn't hurry to remove it from my cheek. Before I was killed, I had thought that my life was mess, that I had more problems to solve that I actually could. But know... I knew that those problems were just a child's play.
I sat on the bench, staring at the other side of the stop. Some people were standing there, doing nothing.
The U-bahn came and I walked in it. But in the other stop I got off, because I could see a park. It was stupid idea for me to walk in the park when the night threatened to occupy this world. But I didn't care. I just needed to be somewhere where was a different life.
I sat on the bench in front of a fountain which wasn't working anymore. On the top of it was a lion. A beautiful lion.
I didn't know how long I sat there, just staring at that lion before someone sat on the bench with me.
“What happened?” Christopher asked.
“He is my cousin,” I said in a cold voice, still seeing only that lion.
“Avery and I were guessing when you will find that out.”
“Well, you have the answer to that,” I stood up and walked away from him, deeper into the park and darkness which was the only true friend for me.
“You understand why we couldn't tell you that,” he walked on my left.
I nodded, but that still didn't ease my pain. I was tricked, speculated. In other words, I was a doll in someone's play.
“Where were you?” he asked carefully.
“If you want, I will do what you want from me,” I said instead of answering to his question. “I will have sex with Tobias, connect our souls and so on.”
“What?”
I stopped and turned to face him.
“It's strange when your prey decides to surrender, to do what you want. Right now I am giving you the opportunity to end everything. Tomorrow I will go to Tobias's home, have a nice time. You and Avery will be free to go and do another mission.”
“What got into you?” he asked alarmed.
“All this is pointless,” I said, waving my arms around. “Everything is temporary. And what point is for me to fight? You can bring dead people back to life. You have powers to force me one way or another to do what you want. So, I won't fight. I will do whatever you want.”
“Trinity,” he said my real name, but it didn't have any kind of effect on me. During this time here, in the park, I realized what Eduard maybe wanted me to explain; I was only a figure on the chest board. I could move neither forward nor back without someone pushing me to that side.
“Or maybe I should go right now to his flat. He would be happy to see me.”
“Trinity!” he gripped my arms and shook me a little.
“There is no point in fighting,” I said to him as I locked my eyes with his. “No point.”
“Trinity, what are you talking about? What happened?”
I pulled my arms from his grips and slowly moved back, still not breaking our eye contact.
“Only stupid people fight for temporariness.”
“Trinity, you are scaring me,” he confessed.
Seeing concern in his eyes, forced me to stop talking like a lunatic. But it was the truth. But if he didn't want to hear that, I wouldn't mention that again.
“Bring me home, Christopher. Please,” I lifted my hand up. He instantly took it and nodded.
I was in the same dream again, shadows, silhouettes and whispers, pleas to be theirs And when I tried to pull the blindfold again, I was again in my room in cold sweat. Snow was sitting next to me. Her dark eyes strangely glimmering in the darkness.
I turned the light on and scanned my room. I was alone if we didn't mention Snow.
I took several deep breaths before I put my head back on my pillow. But I didn't hurry to close my eyes. I just waited for something. Maybe to understand what I really wanted right now. Yes, I was a toy in someone's hands, but every toy could hurt its master.
Suckers, I said in my mind. Christopher took my bait. So, it was only a matter of time when everyone else would think the same; poor little girl. She would do whatever we liked her to do. Yea, right, I said in my mind.
I turned on my left side and met Snow's dark eyes. One part of me really wanted to give up everything and just be that girl which I pretended to be today in front of Christopher. Unfortunately, there was another part of me which wanted to fight till the death. And what you know, I liked that another part of me more.
Eduard let me feel small and vulnerable. Yes, they had power and knowledge, but they weren't me. They all told me that I was special, so, was planning to be special. Whatever mission my soul had, I will still try to be myself even if the consequences of it could make Tobias alone forever.
Now it was clear to me, why Tobias adored his dead cousin so much; because my soul was his soulmate. In the book it would really sound amazing; your soulmate loved you even when you were dead.
“But he is my cousin,” I said to Snow, rubbing her fur. And then I started to think. Really think. Yea, he was my cousin, but he didn't know that. Also, everyone thought I was dead for eighteen years. And cousin...was just a word. My feelings for him could cool off a bit, but they will be still here, in my hear and mind. Who was I to steal my happiness?
Snow mewed and I grinned. Yes, I could let myself be happy. Tob
ias was the best thing which really had happened to me, the only thing which really let me feel alive and not just frozen in time, seeing things and uncovering hideous truth about people and this planet.
I lifted my head. I knew that the dreamland wouldn't take me back. So, I took my laptop and spent the rest of the night writing. I didn't even notice how time flew by. One second it was still dark and another one it was bright.
Avery was the first to enter into my room. I greeted her with glassy eyes. It was really strange how soon I could pretend to be empty. Maybe it was my secret talent about which I didn't have any idea.
“You seem...”
“What would you like me to do?” I asked. My tone could freeze anything.
“I would like you to tell me where you were last night and what happened to you,” she sat on my bed, putting her hand on my leg.
“I met a bodiless,” I decided to tell the truth.
“A bodiless?” she was surprised.
I nodded.
“His name is Eduard,” I continued. “He opened my eyes.”
“Eduard? Opened your eyes? What do you mean by saying that?”
“Tobias is my cousin and my soulmate. One way or another we will do what everyone does who is in love.”
I laughed in my mind. I sounded almost like a robot; without feelings, hopes and desires. I could use to that.
“Okay, you met Eduard. He threatened you?” she asked. I took some seconds to think. His hint for me to be obedient little girl was quite clear. But was it a threat?
“No,” I answered. “He didn't threaten me. He just told that they will do everything what be needed in order to connect two souls that the hunters couldn't hurt them.”
Avery leaned back, her face wearing confused expression. Well, I had to say that no only they could be unpredictable. I could be one too; one minute friendly, another cold as ice...
“Did he give you something to eat or drink?”
I laughed in my mind. She thought that maybe Eduard gave me some kind of drugs that I could act like this. Maybe he put something in that tea or cookies which I didn't touch even with a nail of my finger.
“No, Avery. I didn't eat anything. Should I have?”
Languish for you (My soulmate) Page 15