They are watching me, I said in my mind. The only question was, why weren't they hiding, why did they let me notice them? What kind of plan did they have reserved for me?
I closed my eyes, trying to imagine that all this was just dream, that I didn't see the hunters, prowling around me like hungry animals.
Someone knocked on the window, stopping my heart literally in my chest. I opened my eyes and looked at the other side of the car. Christopher was standing, holding two bags of food in his hand. He seemed bored.
I removed my hand from my chest and unlocked the door. He sat on the seat calmly, giving me my bag with fried potatoes.
“So, where would you like to eat your potatoes?” he asked me, bringing the car to life. He still didn't notice how pale my face was or how quickly my chest move up and down.
I put the bag into my lap and turned my face to the window, putting a curtain of my hair on my face, to hide my eyes from him.
“I don't know,” I said quickly. “Maybe to the park?” I lifted my eyes up. The sky wasn't so scary as it was in the morning.
“Is everything okay?” he asked me as the car joined other vehicles in the street. Something in my voice let him become suspicious.
“I am just easy to scare,” I said honestly. “I saw a woman which I had seen before.”
I felt his eyes at me, but I didn't dare to turn and meet his stare.
“A woman?” his voice was cold. I nodded reluctantly. My motto was that the truth will save our world, but why was it so hard to say the truth?
“Yes. I saw her when I was with Agnes, and now here,” I hugged myself. “She didn't do anything suspicious,” I added quickly. I didn't need to be a mind-reader to have an idea what he could be thinking. After all, I had the same idea: the hunters.
“Can you describe me that woman?” he asked, controlling his voice now.
“In spirals falling short light hair. Middle- built. Quite attractive.”
“You saw only her?”
“Both times? No,” I shook my head.
“And with her? Was there someone with her?” he sounded impatient now.
“A man with white hair,” I replied, hugging myself only tighter.
Christopher looked at me, like he didn't believe my words. But instead of smile, which he hoped to see, Christopher was greeted by fear, which decided to take a visit. And how it looked, this emotion wasn't very eager to leave my life.
“No one else?”
I shook my head in slow manner. The shock, seeing the hunters, was fading, leaving emptiness in its place.
“Don't worry about that,” Christopher said after some minutes of silence. “Nothing...”
“Tell me something new,” I moaned. “I know that sentence by heart by now.”
“I just want to tell you that I won't let anything happen to you.”
I wanted, really wanted to believe in his words, but he was only a human. Super human, but still, only a human, and they always do mistakes. So, I didn't have a doubt that Christopher could fail.
“Don't give my promises,” I leaned deeper in the seat, touching the bag's top. Although the fired potatoes smelled nicely, I didn't want to eat.
<<>>
Tobias sent me many messages, asking what I am doing, what kind of flowers I liked, which countries I would like to visit and so on. He was stealing my attention, when I had to learn some new English words for the test. It was nice that he wanted to know me better, but at the same time I had to be cautious. I needed to change my likes that he wouldn't get to suspicious how similar I was with his dead cousin.
In the end I just turned my phone down and spent an hour only for learning. Then, it was time to go sleep. But tried every tricked in a book in order to close my eyes, but every time I closed my eyes in my bed, I could hear imagined sounds around me and when I opened my eyes, shadows on the roof. I knew that the windows couldn't be broken. Avery had demonstrated me that; she threw a brick to them. A really heavy brick. But even knowing that, I still felt unsafe.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was 1 am and I was still fully awake. Hurrah!
I stood up and slowly walked to the table, but I didn't want to write. I just wanted to have some rest, but how I could see, I won't be able to do that in my own room. At least for couple of days until I will feel safe again in my own room.
I crept out from my room to the corridor. Here I stood and looked around. I had to confess, I had never liked to sleep with someone, who wasn't an animal, but right now I just wanted to sleep with someone, who could protect me, hold me. In other words, to be with someone.
I started pondering, which room I should burst into. Avery? Yea, it could be nice to sleep with her, but she was still that person, who I didn't trust enough to give my beating heart into her protection. Christopher? Well, he was my protector and I spent previous night in his room. I even managed to sleep. Plus, I trusted him more than Avery. But really not because of that one kiss we had.
I bit my lip and walked straight to Christopher's room. I didn't know if I should knock or just enter. I decided to enter. I was surprised to see my protector sitting in his bed, his back leaned against the wall. He was dressed as usually, but not that stole my attention.
“Jane Eir? Really?” I asked with opened mouth.
“Well, it is really interesting book,” he said in cold tone and closed the book. Then he lifted his eyes to meet mine. He didn't seem to be surprise to see me here, in his room, at 1 am. I could even bet that he was waiting for me. “You should read it.”
I rolled my eyes. I liked to be in fantasy world, not in reality.
“Maybe when there wouldn't be hunters, who chase me. I can't sleep,” I said quickly before he would decide to ask me, why I was standing in his room at this hour.
“And? You want me to hit you that you could lose your consciousness and take a nap?” he was rude. I couldn't find a reason, why he should be like this. I didn't do anything bad if didn't count the fact that the hunters wouldn't be interested in me if I had made love with Tobias.
“Can I sleep with you or no?” I folded my arms over my chest irritated.
He heaved a sight and patted on his bed.
I lifted my chin up and walked to the bed. It was hard to believe that he actually let me sleep in his room, with him and without arguing for long.
He wants to sleep with me, too, the thought crossed my mind. I flushed. Lucky for me, at that time when I realized that, I had turned my back to him.
I quickly slipped under the sheets and put my head on the pillow. He also hid under them, put his head, turned the light off. But the room wasn't in the darkness possession. I could see some night lamps, spreading dark blue light around the room.
He didn't say a word and I did the same thing. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. Although I felt safer, but not relaxed. My thoughts drifted over and over to him and me, together in his bed, at night... Maybe it was wrong idea to come here.
“Why did you come here?” I heard him asking me after some really long minutes.
I turned to another side, facing him. He was lying on the back, his eyes staring at the selling while his hands rested on his stomach.
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to sound sleepy.
“Well, there is Avery in this flat,” he said casually. ”Why did you come here?”
“You are my protector,” I said simply, like this fact explained everything what he needed to know.
“Ah,” he sounded ...strange. Was he happy? Sad? Confused? What did that ah mean?
Stop, I ordered myself in my mind. Christopher is only a protector. When will you finally realize that?
I put my hands closer to my chest. He didn't do anything incredible, but still, my heart tried to escape from my chest.
He didn't say anything more and I didn't dare to force him do that. So, I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. Somehow I managed to leave the reality and visit the dreamland.
<<>>
>
The last night's event did its dirty job; Christopher was on a high alert. He couldn't even force himself to take a nap, although he knew that the hunters were very patient and they won't do anything today, or tomorrow. But still, he was worried. And now Trinity's words about the woman and the man?
He shook his head and took a book which Avery had given him a few years ago. She asked him to read it and tell what he thought about it. But he didn't like to read during their missions and always delayed to take that book into his hands. He had even forgotten that he had it until this evening, when he needed something to occupy his mind.
But every time he tried to read at least a page, he soon found himself thinking about Trinity and how he had his heart in his mouth when he heard a broken glass last night. A few times he noticed some strange people staring at Trinity, but they just did that; only stared. Nothing special and worth to pay attention. After all, many people stared at him, but that didn't mean they were all hunters.
He had to admit himself, he liked to see her in his bed last night, curled into a ball. A few times he didn't found enough strength to resist temptation to touch her. He let his fingers travel along her face, than her arm. She didn't shake her body to drop his fingers. No, she even leaned a bit closer to him in her sleep.
Christopher knew that he really was doing a bad thing confusing her soul, mind and emotions, but she was so similar to his Vanessa, to his wife, who he will never have a chance to see, touch, hear or kiss.
He shook his head and asked Avery to take a look at her during the rest of the night, while he was just wondering around he flat.
He had a secret wish to see Trinity in his bed again, sleeping peacefully in his presence. It was selfish desire, but still, it was in his mind. But he had to understand that he had to be aloof, be professional.
Christopher was a bit surprised seeing Trinity in his room, asking from him what he wanted himself; be with her. But he knew what he had to do; say no to her. Tell her to go to Avery, but seeing her pleading eyes, he didn't find enough strength to say that one word. So, instead of saying no, he let her stay in the room and soon she was taken by sleep.
He studied her face, her body. She come here not because she wants to sleep with me, but because she wanted to feel safe, he was saying to himself over and over again until he started believing in that. After all, Trinity wasn't the first girl acting in this way; every single of his own protected souls did the same thing. After being attack by the hunters, souls wanted to be safe and sure that someone could keep them safe. In all their mind, Christopher was that person. But it wasn't a surprising thing. After all, he was a protector.
Christopher closed his eyes and let himself just enjoy listening to quiet Trinity's breathing, feeling her body's warm, smelling her sense.
But soon something strange happened. Of course, he couldn't say that he wasn't pleased by that; Trinity moved unconsciously closer to him, her hands, at first touched him gingerly, like making sure if this was what they were searching for, and when their guesses confirmed, her arms snaked firmly around him and her head soon rested on his shoulder, forcing Christopher's heart to beat in his chest faster.
He knew that he shouldn't enjoy this unexpected Trinity's behavior. Also, he knew that he should pull away from her and ask Avery to come and watch over her. But he was too weak to do that, when her warm skin was against his, distracting him. Even if he managed somehow to create a plan, what he should do, her one breath destroyed it.
After some minute, her legs found a way to come closer to him, to wrap around his. Christopher grinned, gently touching with his thumb her nose, her cheek, leaving her lips for a desert. She didn't take long to wrap around him like a creeper. But what was the worst thing, she did that unconsciously, and what people do in sleep, usually was what their hearts, souls desired. Trinity really shouldn't want to be with him like this. Christopher knew that his protecting souls felt something to him: respect, trust, admiration, but never what Trinity's body was telling him: love.
That's not love, he tried to convince himself. That's called friendship.
But was it?
Soon he found himself drifting to sleep, to the world where everything was possible and hope had more power that in reality.
Chapter twenty one
I couldn't really remember when was the last time I had slept so wonderfully. Event that nightmare, which liked to torture me every night, decided to take a vacation. Also, I felt so recreated myself.
I opened my eyes in slow manned to see sleeping Christopher next to me. I narrowed my eyes and quickly looked around, trying to remember, why my protector was so close to me. Yea, I came here, because I felt unsafe in my room. But that didn't explain why my arms and legs tried to coalesce with his body, although I couldn't say that I was angry with finding myself in this position. No. I was happy. I felt like this was that place in which I should be; home.
It was really stupid. I shouldn't have feelings like these.
But still, I didn't hurry to unwrap my arms with legs and move away from him. Also, I didn't turn my eyes from his sleeping face, from those red lips, which my lips wanted to taste. He looked like and angel, when he slept, I had to admit that.
I leaned closer to him. I bit my lip, seeing only those two red lines on his face. My heart started racing only with the thought of me touching them with a finger. So, I could only imagine what my heart will do when I would touch them with my own.
Christopher was still dead to the world. Deep in my mind I knew what could happen if I would do what my heart wanted; my protector would be really furious and always cautious around me. But I really wanted to have another kiss from him, to make sure that those feelings, which I felt, when he kissed me, were real and not just a trick of my body, imagination.
I leaned more and joined our lips, hoping only for the best scenario. And what did you know, Christopher opened his eyes, but didn't push me away. For my surprise, he returned the kiss, his arms slowly and carefully traveled my waist, my back, my arms until they stopped on my face.
It felt so good to kiss him. Maybe even better than Tobias, and that took the wind out of my sails. Christopher wasn't my soul mate; he was nothing at all in my life, but still, my soul sang when he touch me. Maybe they lied to me about themselves?
But if they lied, that minute I didn't care.
Christopher's hands pull me away from him only that I could lie on the bed on my back while he appeared on the top, still kissing me, turning me on. My body seemed to be on fire, especially when his lips started traveling on my neck A moan escaped my mouth.
Christopher liked that, because I felt how his lips formed into a smile.
“Vanessa,” he whispered, filling everything in that one word: love, respect, anger, happiness...and yearning for...for his Vanessa. Those kisses which he was giving me, wasn't mine. Those were his soulmate's, which will never come to take them.
I pushed him away and jumped from the bed, like the devil himself was chasing me. Christopher sat on his bed, confused. In his eyes I still could see what I saw in Tobias eyes almost every time when our eyes met; need, possession and endless love. But Christopher's feelings weren't mine.
I was in a huge trouble. My soulmate was my cousin, and other person, which was something to my heart, was languish for a person, which will never return, and will never look at my direction, because I was his mission. And how did I manage to end up in this stupid situation?
“Vanessa?” Christopher asked, now horror in his eyes was living.
I hugged myself and glance to the door. It was stupid of me to kiss him, when I knew in which sides we both were standing.
“I need to prepare myself for university,” I said quickly and moved towards to the door, but Christopher jumped in front of me, locking his hands around my arms.
“Look at me,” he said in a commanding voice,” please,” he added this word gently.
I lifted my head up reluctantly. At that moment I would do anything instead of
meeting his eyes, which told me things, which I prefer not to know.
I always liked to read about girls, trapped in love triangles and how they struggled to understand, what their hearts really wanted. I admired them, because they didn't just try to solve a difficult algebra problem, but also decided which guy will be that one which could give endless love, protection, happiness.
But I didn't have any intention to become one, because my brain and heart worked in different regimes had different rules of life. For example, now. My brain shouted in my head to leave this room while my heart supplicated to stay, to put my fingers on his warm arms, naked chest, cheek... I will never find a way to connect my heart and brain, and that was devastating.
“I am sorry,” he said, his hands glued to his side.
I licked my lips and turned my eyes to look away from his face. It was I, who had to say those words, but I wasn't sorry for doing that.
“I am not,” I confessed and took a small step back, returning my eyes back to meet his. “I liked that,” another truth, which was like a knife into my heart, because I shouldn't have liked that.
For a moment he seemed lost. He brushed his hand through his hair. I knew what he was doing; collecting the right words for me to say. And these moments were which I didn't like, because most of the times in books it was the moment when characters tried to hide the truth.
“You shouldn't have liked that,” he found his voice and started talking. “I am sorry for misleading you. I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. I was just... You seem so similar to her,” he didn't need to name me, who she was. I knew about what he was talking and that was another knife into my heart.
I didn't say anything. I just let him talk further.
“I am really sorry. Vanessa, understand one thing, I am your protector, not ...your soulmate. You must not kiss me ever again,” now that sentence sounded like a threat to me.
I tensed up. It wasn't hard for me to imagine what he could do to me if I actually try again to kiss him. After all, I was that one with a wild imagination. Of course, most of scenarios which I had in my head were stupid, funny, but still, they would do their dirty job.
Languish for you (My soulmate) Page 19