by Xavier Neal
Ty and Lily snap in unison. “You?”
I open my mouth but quickly realize I have nothing to say. Immediately I fill the empty space with more of the candy flavored drink. I'm definitely going to have to have more of this. It's going to be a long night.
Lily shoves her hands on her hips, her body turning to me in attack mode. “Who the hell is she?”
“She's the latest Lost Boy. They brought back from that rock planet they treasure hunt on.” Ty shrugs. “At least Eiden didn't bring back anything.”
Lily darts her eyebrows down as I ask the bartender for another drink. After verifying I want another of the same, which thanks to Ty I learned is called a Croc Tail, I try to keep my attention on the man making the beverage. He's sporting a tuxedo outfit, which doesn't distract from the fact he's got the mouth of platypus and the build of a panther.
Her incoherent ramblings had begun to fade out, until she shrieks, “You love her?” At that moment I turn as Lily points to me. “You really love her?”
“I do.” By the painful expression on his face, I imagine he's preparing for me to reject them. Again. “I really do.”
“Why?!” Her aggression continues to build. “Why her?!”
There's a question I've asked myself numerous times. The bartender asks for payment, which is when it hits me Belle didn't give me anything to pay with. Before panic can slither in Justin says to him, “My tab.”
I groan, “Ugh. Thanks.”
“And you let her drink on your tab?!” Lily, who the longer I look at her looks like a slightly thinner version of her sister with lighter hair, screams again.
Ty mumbles. “Embarrassing yourself...”
Ignoring her sister's comment, she loudly questions, “How many times have you slept together?!”
“None.” I haven't hooked up with anyone before. Great. Now I'm the virgin in the awkward situation. Just when I thought things couldn't get any more embarrassing for me. Quickly I have another drink hoping to un-flush my face.
“Liar,” she dismisses my words. “Justin sleeps with everyone he likes.”
“Wow,” I whisper in shock. Snapping at him, I bite, “Can't keep it in your pants? Is that why you're claiming you're a changed man? Cause you didn't try to sleep with me the minute you saw me?”
“Peyton-”
“I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted-”
“Peyton-”
“Was I not good enough for even an attempt?” The words come from left field to me. I'm not usually this way in front of a group of people. What's in this damn drink? “Or was the fact my innocence is still intact what turned you away?”
“Stop.” He states harshly as he points a stern finger. Turning to Lily he grabs her by the shoulders. “Listen to me, Lily. You're a great girl. Someone, somewhere is going to fall in love with you and treat you like the woman you deserve to be treated like, but Lily, I'm not that guy. I...” his voice drifts off as he looks at me. “I fell in love with a girl who is so magnificent there are almost no words to describe her. And as you sit and beat down at the wall of my consciousness desperate to know what it is about her, it makes me stop and realize it's not something about her. It's everything about her. It's just her. The way she bites her bottom lip when she's nervous. The way she scrunches her nose in anger. The fact that when she's frustrated she ruffles the right side of her hair, and when she's sad she twirls the ends on the left side.”
I look down at what I thought was my free hand yet it's twirling the ends of the left side. Oh no! He's right!
“I thought you were afraid to fall in love?” Lily's voice whimpers. “I thought you said it might hurt too much.”
He tilts his fedora up, eyes still on mine. “I realized it doesn't hurt to fall in love. It's the unexpected stop that hurts so much.” The words are bitter on my tongue causing me to have another sip of the drink. “It hurts when you hit a sudden brick wall of resentment someone puts up over choices you made because you thought they were the right thing to do. The pain comes when you hit that cement block of torture someone puts up that denies your love, questions your soul, demands more of you than you know how to give. That's what hurts.”
With alcohol and high emotions mixing, I slam down my glass beside me. Lean into his face, I snap, “You want the walls removed? The cement prison you feel you're in to end?”
Immediately he answers, “Yes.”
“Then fall out of love with me!”
Justin's face doesn't move from it's stoic position. “Never.”
Silence settles between us, which is when Ty, who I thought had left adds, “Then stop your damn sob story, pick up a hammer, and start trying to break down those walls.”
The music stops as the crowd claps. Justin cocks a smirk and tilts his head at her. “Good idea, Ty.”
“Thank you!” She tosses her hands in the air. “I really am full of those.”
Justin gives me one more once over and says, “You want proof? Fine.”
I stomp my heel at him. “Fine.”
He wanders off towards the crowd. Upset, I ruffle my hair and turn my back to where he was once standing. I didn't mean it! Of course I don't want him to fall out of love with me. I just...I don't know what I want. A do-over? A clean start? One where we can go out on a date and I don't have to worry about the fact he's calculating how he can con his way out of the bill. Or...I don't know. Maybe just one moment, one single moment of him doing something that doesn't make me think he has a secret motive. I dropped my entire life to run away and have adventures with him. My whole family. I don't think it's too much to want, a little something to kill the doubt that when he says I love you, he means it, and know I love what you can do for me.
Lily's whiny voice invades my inner turmoil, “You know...you're lucky to have him fall in love with you. You're throwing away something some of us only dream about-”
“Then dream bigger,” I snap. Not sure I like the effect the drink is having on my bravery I push it away from me.
Ty agrees, “She's right Lily.”
“Shut up,” she storms away, tears clearly in her eyes.
I didn't mean to make her cry.
Ty grabs her freshly poured neon orange drink from the bartender and says to me, “Be thankful you're an only child.”
I try to fight a smirk. Less than a minute later, the sound of someone tapping the microphone causes me to turn around. To no surprise Justin is on the stage, hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.
“Good evening ladies and gentleman,” his words are followed by a few swoons. Really? Just like that? “We're so glad you're enjoying our festivities. You are enjoying them aren't you?” The crowd cheers back at him and he smiles wider. “Tonight, in honor of a very special guest tonight, I thought I’d play something for you.”
Baffled, my jaw drops. Play something? On what? If he touches that piano he'll...no! Justin sits down at the piano, tilts the microphone towards him just as I rush towards the stage remembering exactly what will happen if his fingers touch those keys.
Surprisingly enough Ty is on my tail. “Why are you running?”
“He can't touch those keys!”
“Why not?”
My mouth flies open to answer when I realize the words are choking the air out of me. Each Lost Boy can only tell his own story. Really? Now's not a good time for that stupid oath!
“He just can't,” I respond almost to the stage when I hear the sound of a single piano note touched.
I'm frozen in my tracks at the sight of agony on his face. His fingers are now disfigured and the sounds of excruciating pain being held in through gritted teeth, but amplified by the microphone. My hands clutch my mouth at the sight of tears leaving his eyes as he attempts to touch another key. While the crowd doesn't seem bothered by the sight, they do seem to be growing a little restless.
A soft cold hand lands on my shoulder and I jump. Thankful to see her, I demand, “Belle make it stop!”
“No.”
/>
“Please!”
“No.”
“Please! Please, make it stop!”
“He knew what would happen if he touched that piano--”
“Please!”
“And he did it anyway--”
“Belle!”
She doesn't respond, but watches the crowd as they begin to chatter loudly now wondering what's happening to him. There's muffled sobs echoing throughout the building thanks to the microphone in his face. I can't see him like this. I can't. It has to stop! I've got to make it stop!
“Please, Belle,” I beg grabbing her hands to face me.
Tyger just looks on mortified. “Are his fingers-”
“I'll do anything! I swear! Anything! Please...” I see another tear hit his cheek. “Just...Just make it stop.”
Pleased she smirks. “Anything?” I nod rapidly. “First, you're going to admit to me, right here right now that you love him.”
“I love him!” I yell not even caring how loud it is or how much stress loving him causes. It doesn't matter that he's made mistakes before. So have I. At the end of the day, he's the only person I wanna keep making mistakes with. That's what matters right? That's what love is. Finding that person you wanna make mistakes with. Have adventures with. Come home to. “I do. I love him, Belle. I was just pissed off this afternoon. Extremely pissed off.”
“Mmhm, I know.” She bobs her head back and forth. “Second, you're going to confess to him after he performs one song that you do.”
“He's going to perform--”
“One song!” Her foot stomps the ground as she fights a smile.
“Confess it. Got it.”
“Third, and final, you two are to go to the Soul Wall afterward and vow to never love anyone else other than each other, ever again.”
Ever again? Like ever ever? I mean I'm 17! What if we break up again or he cheats on me, though he's not Peter, but it's a possibility. What if something goes terribly wrong and we grow into individuals the other can't stand? It's like getting into a marriage you can never get out of! My soul?! Then again...if I gave up my life once for him already, what's to really stop me from doing it again?
“Do we have a deal?” Belle questions.
I look at Justin whose hand looks like the bones are starting to show.
Ty croaks, “Are those his-”
“Deal!” I shout. “Please...make it stop.”
Belle smiles, places a kiss on my cheek, and struts up the stage steps. She leans over the piano, whispers something in his ear, and puts both her hands on top of his. When she pulls away, I feel a rush of relief across my face as Justin's eyes fall onto me.
Excusing herself back down the stairs, she strolls up to me and whispers, “He just broke his Loyalty Oath for you. What other proof do you need?”
Not answering, I let her walk off while my attention floats back to him.
Justin clears his throat. “Sorry about that. Minor technical difficulties and a hand cramp.” The crowd chuckles, relieved as his eyes settle on me. With a smile, he says, “Now...I wanted to play an old Jazz tune my father used to play. Enjoy.”
His fingers touch the keys again, this time producing a sweet melody of the tune he let me play the first time he showed me his piano at the apartment. It's the same tune his father played for his mother. The same tune that they danced to at their wedding. The same tune that's now ours.
During his entire song, the words, his voice, the notes are all directed at me. Not once do his eyes drift anywhere else. I told Lily she needed to dream bigger, but the truth is, the dream she's after, is already big enough. It's just not for her. It's mine. And it's definitely the biggest one I've ever had.
After Justin's perfect performance, that inspired requests for an encore he couldn't give even if he wanted to, the two of us load up in his black jeep. Justin drives us in silence. Occasionally we sneak glances of each other, but neither of us say a word. I always hate the make-up part of an argument. I've never been very good at it. I never know the right thing to say or when to say it. Who should apologize first? Is there a right way to confess you were just full of it before? He continues to drive us out of the city to an island with no roads, and no lights. The change of scenery instills a familiar anxiety that stiffens my body. Without hesitation, he wraps his fingers with mine washing away the fear. A few minutes later Justin exits onto a windy road where he turns off the headlights as he slows down. Thankfully, we only travel like this for a couple minutes before he pulls off the main road to park.
The two of us head up a steep hill towards a dark opening carved out of the rocky terrain. “Where are we?”
“Mermaid Island.” At the cave entrance, he lets go of my hand to reach into a hole on the side of it. He pulls out a few cans before instructing, “Follow me.”
I walk beside Justin down the long hall where we take a right, and I'm revealed the option of twenty six different hallways. Confused, I try to just keep my attention on Justin who takes a hallways labeled “Rr.” As we travel down it, I admire the different art work painted on the stones, which have names engraved in them.
“What are these?”
He takes a sharp left. “Soul Stones.”
“Which are what exactly?”
“In your world, you have marriage, which is easily undone by the signature of a judge, but this...this is permanent.” Finally stopping he places the cans on the ground in front of a black rocky canvas. “You know the term Soul Mate, well this is an agreed arrangement of souls. Your soul is not to love another-”
“What if one of you dies?”
“Your contract is broken.”
“So it's literally 'til death do you part?”
“Exactly, but I believe love outlives death.” My face warms. Justin leans down, picks up a can, and shakes it. Handing it to me he says, “Whether you ever say you love me again or not, it doesn't matter. You're the only woman I ever wanna love. The only one I ever will. The only person who I'd give up my entire life for without a second thought. So Peyton Darling...I'm asking you, will you please do me the honor of painting my soul?”
Awed and bound by my word that I would, even before he asked, I place the can down before I touch his cheek gently. Justin's eyes shut on a long, deep exhale. Slowly, I drag it down his face before using it to lift his chin up.
When he opens his blue eyes I sigh, “I'm sorry for what I said earlier.”
“Me too...”
“We should be together. I was just...angry.”
“And you had every right to be. It was my fault-”
“And mine.”
“I should've told you everything.”
“I should've trusted you.”
“That's something I can't blame you for not doing.” Justin moves his body into mine, hands landing on my hips. “I'm not even sure I trust me.” His confession lifts my eyebrows. “But I trust that I love you. I trust that love will lead me to do the right thing to keep you. To be there for you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, Peyton.” Lightly pressing his forehead against mine he whispers, “And I really do love you. I'm just...still learning how.”
“That makes two of us.” My eyes close. “Looks like we have a lot to learn.”
“Together,” Justin whispers.
“Definitely together,” I agree. There's a short beat before I declare, “I love you too, Justin.”
His lips brush against mine looking for approval, which he quickly receives. Lit up with passion and excitement alike, our tongues roll sweetly together, reconnecting for the first time in what feels like decades. Justin's hands grip me tighter as our tongues continue the apologies we ran out of words for. How is it every time we kiss it gets better?
Our tongues slowly draw back away from one another, leaving us with our lips lingering lightly together. On a deep sigh I ask, “Promise to always kiss me like that?”
Proudly he smirks. “Promise.”
“Good. Now what am I supposed to paint on the sto
ne?”
“Anything you want.”
“Oh, this is gonna be fun...” I reach down and grab the can. With a good tug, I rip off the lid and paint a blue music note. Realizing how much fun this could really turn into, I face Justin who's watching in admiration. With a small smile, I spray a little on his gray shirt.
He jumps back. “What the hell!
I giggle. “You look so much better in color.”
His heel kicks the other can up into his possession. Quickly he shakes it and sprays a pink stripe down my dress. “So do you.”