My head started to spin as I listened to him explaining to me why he needed me, and the thought of me being brought here not only to be the mate for a demon but also to bring more demons into the world was nauseating.
“This is all?” I wondered with a voice loud enough for him to hear me. “This is all you need me for? To please you and bring you children?”
In one second, Andrew was kneeling in front of where I was sitting on the elegant armchair. His eyes were bright green and colored with so much passion and care, and his beautiful features were begging me to believe all of the things his eyes wanted me to believe. When he touched my hands, I knew that I would believe anything that would come out of those lips, because his warm touch and firm-yet-gentle grip sent shivers down my spine and warmth to spread all over my heart.
“Angel, please don’t go there,” he started with a calm, pleading voice. “Why don’t you understand? You were brought here because my heart chose you. My eyes fell on you and I knew you were the love of my life. I knew you were the one I’d been waiting for all this time. You’re my soulmate; of course I’ll need you to be by my side forever. You’ll be my partner; of course I’ll wish with everything in me to have you carrying my child. But it’s because I love you, it’s only because I’m in love with you, Maya. My heart picked you before my mind even started to form a thought about you; you’re not just a random person I chose.”
“You love me?” I gasped softly, shocked at his words and shocked at how it was so easily believable for me.
“With everything in me, Angel,” he said sincerely, and before I could comprehend the thought, his lips touched mine as he kissed me.
His lips were warmer than I remembered them to be. They were pressed tightly to my lips and pouring so much passion that he wanted me to feel. If this was his way to make me believe how true and real his words were, I became a believer right then and there.
His tongue parted my lips and I gasped quietly at the taste of him, a taste that I remembered so well, remembered how much and how many times I’d yearned to feel it again. And feel it again, I did. His tongue caressed mine hotly, and when his lips pulled on my bottom one and sucked it into his mouth, I couldn’t help but moan, earning myself a groan from him, until suddenly and out of nowhere he pulled back.
I was panting hard as I looked at him through my hazy with lust eyes, only to see that the expression on his face matched exactly how I felt, if not more – confusing me as to why he’d pulled away from me if he wanted the same as I did, and shocking me with how I was accepting of it and actually did want more.
“We can’t have any sexual act until the converting is done, Beautiful Angel,” he replied to my unanswered question with a soft smile.
I nodded, though not understanding why. Because I was still shocked at why it felt so right with him and so easy to be with him, I had to ask, “Are you still controlling my mind?”
Andrew somehow seemed offended by my question, but still replied to it with the same honesty he’d used before to tell me that he loved me. “No, Maya, I’m not. My mind controlling powers are useless in the underworld, and they only work on humans – you’re not a human anymore.”
I offered a small smile to him, and before I could say anything, I felt a weird sensation in my back. I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the cramp-like feeling to go, but it didn’t. It became greater.
“Andrew?!” I choked out.
“What do you feel, Angel?”
“My back,” I groaned, “Something is happening in my back.”
I felt Andrew as he stood up, and a moment later I heard him, “Your wings are forming very nicely, Maya, they are coming out.” Happiness wrapped his voice.
“Andrew, it hurts!” I moaned.
“It’ll be over soon, and it’ll be slightly easier if you stand up,” he said. I found him pulling me by the hand into a standing position, but I felt very weak all of a sudden and didn’t think I could stay on my feet. However, I found Andrew pulling me to him so I was in his arms, hugging him as he held me tightly to his body, my head buried in his chest and my hands clutching his biceps for dear life.
“I – uh … I c-can’t bear it-t …” I said through clenched teeth. The pain was getting bigger with every second as I felt as if someone was pulling the bones out of my back; it was seriously painful.
“Shhh, it’s almost over,” Andrew soothed as he held me tightly with one hand while the other smoothed my hair kindly. “You’re doing a great job. Good girl.”
I moaned some more into his chest, and with minutes passing I felt as if the pain was getting smaller and smaller until I was only feeling the small cramps I’d felt when it first started.
“Good girl,” Andrew soothed again. He planted a kiss on the top of my head when I settled in his arms, feeling the pain completely gone but leaving heaviness on my back after it. “Let me see how beautiful those small wings are.” He smiled and moved the slightest bit to take a better look at my back. In one second, Andrew pushed me away from him with such force that I almost fell to the ground, but I was able to catch myself. In the blink of an eye he was standing as far away from me as possible, with his wings touching the wall behind him.
“Andrew?” I questioned with wide eyes.
His eyes were as wide as they could get when he replied with a shocked voice. “Your feathers … they are not black!” he said, sounding horrified. “They are white!”
“White?” I asked. “Why are they white? What does that mean? Will they darken later?” I wondered if the wings were like those babies who are born blonde but their hair darkens with years until it’s brownish or even darker.
Andrew chuckled humorlessly, “No, they don’t!” He gripped his hair with both hands. “This is wrong! So wrong! They are like the wings of an ang–” he stopped mid-word, then shook his head. “I have to tell my mother about this, she knows best.” His voice was still as horrified as when he first examined the wings, if not even more. The next thing I knew, he was out of the room like a bat out of hell.
I let out a breath I didn’t even know that I was holding, but I didn’t feel any better after, because I still wasn’t breathing normally. My breaths were hitched and my heartbeats were racing against each other. I didn’t know what it meant that my wings had white feathers and not black ones, I didn’t know why Andrew was that horrified by it, I didn’t know why he went to his mom, I only knew one thing – I wasn’t very comfortable with her coming here again.
I’d never spoken to Andrew’s mom, and I’d barely seen her aside from that time just before the converting began, and that was it. I knew I shouldn’t judge, I really disliked judging without knowledge, but something about this woman – demon – just rubbed me the wrong way, and I had no idea what to make of it.
I paced the room back and forth, frustrated and worried about the fact that I had no idea what was to come or what would happen to me. I tried to twist my neck as far as I could in order to see my wings, but I couldn’t see them at all. Eventually, I went to the closet and stood in front of the dresser with my side facing it, trying to see their reflection in the mirror. And it worked.
I gasped as I saw it, – I really had wings attached to my back! I guess that even after all of the things that had happened, and after everything Andrew had said, and after all of the things I felt, I still had doubts. It was like I needed to see something with my own eyes in order to be convinced that all of this was real, and I guess seeing my wings was all it took for me to believe.
The wings were small – even smaller than the fake wings I’d worn the Halloween before last – and definitely nowhere near as big as Andrew’s wings. And true to his words, they had white feathers. Whiter than cotton, and when I awkwardly reached to touch them I found that they were softer than silk.
I sighed. I didn’t know how I felt about it, and after what felt like too long staring at them, I left the closet and walked over to the bed, sitting on it. I then lay down on my side because there wa
s just no way that I could sleep on my back.
My thoughts were all over the place, my confusion was hitting the roof, and my feelings were fighting against each other inside me. I kept thinking about what Andrew had said. While I was no longer doubting the reality of all I was going through, and it wasn’t so easy to take. I didn’t know what was expected of me. I didn’t know what was to happen to me with the white feathers that had freaked Andrew out so much.
I also felt like I should’ve told him how I felt when he said he was in love with me. I guess I couldn’t just simply tell him that I had very strong feelings for him and that I’d hardly ever stopped thinking about him for the past year. I really needed more time to put my thoughts together; to define my feelings and put words to them.
It felt like too long since Andrew had left me when he finally came back, and I found it really strange to see misery on that handsome face of his. It made me frown and get up off the bed, thinking that his mother would follow him. I realized she hadn’t come with him once I saw him close the door and then rest his wings and back against it.
“Andrew?” I called, asking him silently why he looked so sad, wanting to know what he had to say. The look of him being very troubled made my heart ache; I didn’t like seeing him this way, not at all.
“I couldn’t tell her,” he said in a low voice, and I figured he was referring to his mom. “I don’t know how she’ll react to this. I’m afraid they’ll take you away from me, and that is not an option.” His voice became very stern with his last words.
My aching heart swelled at his words and I took the few steps that separated us. When I was only an inch away from him, I hugged his face with both of my hands and smiled softly as I looked deep into his beautiful green eyes. “Please don’t be so sad, it hurts me to see you this way,” I told him the truth.
Andrew’s arms hugged me to his body, pressing me tightly to him, his head moving the slightest as he buried his nose in my hair. He inhaled deeply, then kissed me behind my ear and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Beautiful Maya.”
Before I could question why he was apologizing, Andrew lifted me up and carried me to the bed. He turned me around in one second and the next thing I knew, he was putting my arms together in front of me and then pushing me face first to the mattress with my arms trapped underneath my stomach, one of his hands keeping me pinned to the bed as he pressed on the space between my shoulder blades.
“Andrew?” My call was confused and worried. I had no idea what he was doing and because it had happened so fast – and right after he’d apologized for what I didn’t know – told me that something bad was about to happen to me, though deep inside I knew that Andrew wouldn’t hurt me in any way. I knew that because he loved me, and that sweetness I saw in his eyes was too much to be ever thought of as fake.
“Stay still, Love,” he said, his voice telling silently of more apologizing that I didn’t want to hear. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
Andrew didn’t give me one second to wonder about what he meant or what was to be over soon. The next thing I knew, he was touching my wings and fumbling a little with them before he gripped the base that joined the wings together and was attaching them to my back. Once he’d found the right place to grip, he gripped tighter, though it wasn’t at all easy to handle. I even started to wince a bit at how tight his grip was. But before I could complain about that or even ask why he was doing it, Andrew started pulling on my wings as if he wanted to break them and remove them altogether.
“Andrew!” I gasped as I felt the pain growing greater. The hand that was pressing on the space between my shoulder blades pressed even harder. “Oh, no! Andrew! It hurts!” My voice was louder now and I let out a scream when I felt as if he was breaking my bones right where he was gripping.
Andrew didn’t reply at all, but I could hear his breaths as they hitched and tangled with his grip and pulling, growing even stronger. My screams only grew louder with the breaking of the bones in my wings.
If I’d thought converting was the most painful experience ever, this was the most agonizing thing that had ever happened to me. And the fact that it was Andrew who was doing this to me made it hurt even more, if that was possible.
I felt warm liquid seeping out of where Andrew was pulling, and I knew that I was bleeding. Given that I was bleeding and with all of the pulling Andrew was doing, I came to the realization that he was trying to remove my wings.
“Andrew, no!” I cried out. “Andrew, stop it, why are you doing this? Stop it! NO!” But he didn’t listen to me or care to answer my pleas. The next minute, my wings were pulled out of my back. I saw them as he dropped them beside me on the bed, stained with blood. I could hear Andrew’s panting and his attempt to catch his breath after removing my wings. The hand that was pinning me down to the huge bed was a little far for my hand to reach it – not that I wanted to touch it, anyway. I was too weak to even get my hands released from underneath me.
I was no longer screaming, though the pain felt like freshly burnt skin centered on my upper back. The need to cry was so strong, yet I had no idea why my eyes wouldn’t just produce tears and let these fighting emotions inside me form any kind of relief.
I felt Andrew as he left the bed, then when he came into my sight, his eyes held so much love in them that it was almost troubling. They were sad and I wondered if demons cried at all, because I thought that if he could cry, he would be. And maybe that was why I couldn’t cry myself? I had no idea. I only knew that I didn’t want to see him; the look in his eyes hurt me. I didn’t want to see those green eyes full of sadness and sorrow. And … I didn’t want his sympathy either.
Andrew kneeled in front of the bed, the guilt of what he’d just done written all over his face as he spoke, “I’m so sorry, Beautiful Maya.” Sorrow colored his voice. “Please, forgive me.”
Everything in me was begging the tears to fall, but they wouldn’t. I felt the tightening in my throat and the ache in my chest. My heart was beating so fast and my breaths were slow and uneven, but – still no tears.
Turning my head to the other side was all I could do. I was too exhausted to get up and leave, and even if I could leave – I didn’t know where to go, and I was sure he could find me, anyway.
I heard him as he got up, heard the sound of the door closing, and I realized he had left the room. I turned my head to the other side again to look at my wings, and was shocked to see that they had turned into some kind of powder that looked like glitter, only all white glitter. I was disappointed that I couldn’t take a final look at what had been a part of my body for two or three hours.
Not much later, I found the energy to get up, and then I made my way to the bathroom that was inside the room. I was beyond shocked to find a very elegant-looking bathroom, with a huge tub and two sinks – but I couldn’t find a toilet. I was even more shocked to realize that I’d never felt the need to relieve myself since I’d gotten here, though it had been almost four or five days, or something like that.
I didn’t think much of it and eventually blamed it on the lack of the food I’d eaten. As I took my clothes off, I tried as much as I could not to look at the bloodstains on the top, and then hopped into the tub.
Surprisingly, the water didn’t need me to set it to the temperature I wanted; it was warm on its own. I liked the sensation of the slightly cool material of the tub against my stinging back as I waited for the tub to fill while I was in it.
I couldn’t get over the fact that Andrew had put me in all of that pain. I’d understood at first that he needed me to be like him so I could live in his world, and that the converting was something I couldn’t get away from. But then I went through so much pain just for the wings to come out, and he held me all through it and hushed me with his kind voice, soothing me with his loving touch, right after he’d confessed his love for me. But then to pull out my wings, break them and make me bleed? That I couldn’t get.
My heart hurt because I’d thought that he would never
cause me harm. I truly believed that, but I guess you could never trust a demon. Maybe all of the words of love he’d said to me had been nothing but lies.
One thing I wanted to know more than anything, though: Now that I no longer had wings, would he still want me to be beside him, like he’d said? Or would he just kill me off and forget all about me?
The water in the tub never got cold; it stayed warm, holding the very same temperature that it’d had when it seeped out of the pipes. It was really strange, but I thought that this heat was the norm for this world: warm.
The only thing that heated more than norm was the fire in my heart and the flames of thoughts that burned my mind constantly. I kept thinking of how Andrew might not want me anymore and might just kill me. It was sickening. And that sickening feeling was at the thought of leaving him or being away from him, not at the thought of being killed – I guess I’d gone that crazy.
But – I couldn’t lie to myself anymore; I cared so much for Andrew, I knew this very well. I’d been fond of him since the very first moment I’d met him. I knew now that he’d been controlling my mind, but he said he’d only done it to make me let my guard down, and that I eventually would’ve done the same, felt the same. And I believed him.
I believed Andrew because those feelings inside me towards him could never be some sort of message or a result of a game of mind control – they were real. Because even after everything he’d done to me and the pain he’d put me through, I still felt things for him. That fact had been confirmed for me when I saw the miserable look in his eyes and found my heart aching at the sight and my soul begging me to find a way to remove it from his beautiful features.
I doubted his feelings for me, though. I couldn’t understand how you could hurt someone if you loved them as much as he’d told me he felt for me. I couldn’t understand why just because my feathers were white, he had to remove them that way. Why not just pluck them out and throw them away or something? I couldn’t understand if that meant that I’d be human again or what? But, no – it couldn’t be. I’d been in the underworld for God only knows how long, and I was still there. Andrew had said that if I was a human, I wouldn’t be able to live there. But what did that mean? If I wasn’t human, and without the wings I wasn’t a demon, what would that make me? Those things were really confusing.
Pretty Faces and Dark Places Page 7