by Tony Klinger
Morell barely raised a smile; he had heard the joke before. The thing I noticed about the doctor was that he was always sweating, and he stunk like a pig, his personal hygiene was lamentable.
Hitler and I sat in two winged armchairs facing one another; a fierce blaze flamed in the elegant open hearth. I had declined the offer of an after dinner brandy, and so had the Fuhrer. Morell whispered something in Hitler’s ear, “You don’t mind if the doctor here gives me my little herbal injection do you, it makes me feel very excellent, not squeamish are you?”
I didn’t get the chance to respond as the doctor gave Hitler the hypodermic. “Have you calculated the reason why I can trust you and the doctor here totally, one hundred per cent?” I was too nervous to respond as the doctor mutely stared at me, his injection kit packed away, “Because you’re my nearly Jews.” Both the doctor and I froze, we knew that Germany’s leader had total control of our destiny in his hands, but all he did was laugh, “Not to worry, we’re not monsters, the half of you both that looks after my needs is more important to the Fatherland than the Jew half. You’ll be perfectly all right as long as you keep me happy, understood?” I just nodded as the doctor, who was wearing full uniform clicked his heels, “Good night my Fuhrer.”
Hitler waved his doctor away and turned his full attention back to me.
“You know a major war is inevitable I imagine?” He asked, “Yes sir.”
“Good, we will win of course. It is our country’s destiny to control Europe, possibly more. Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan will join us in common cause, but it is Germany who will truly lead. Of course I have tried to avoid this war, you do realize this yes?” I nodded my head, “Yes sir, everyone in Germany knows that for a fact.”
Hitler nodded his head, “That drunkard, that buffoon Churchill, he has stirred up the old bulldog, but it has been asleep for so long it has forgotten how to bark let alone be the lion it once was. Even that vacillating fool of a Prime Minister.” now his face contorted into a very fair impression of the British Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain is being forced, against his best judgment, to resist the tide of history. It’s a pity you know, we could work with the English. They’re basically German you know, what a combination we could have made, but they have become weak just as we regained our pride and our strength, and the weak must always be swept aside.” Even though I disagreed with everything the man said I could understand his almost hypnotic hold on the people of my country. He was so compelling, so certain, saying the words we all craved to hear. But I knew that I could never let my guard down for an instant in his presence, it could be fatal, so I asked, “How could I help, in my humble way my Fuhrer?”
He smiled again, and it was as if the sun had broken through the clouds of war stirring all around us, “”You will record our victories on your canvases for the nation. Your work will immortalize our conquests. You will be my personal war artiste; I have personally selected you for this heroic task. You shall be answerable to me alone. You will be free to go wherever your work takes you, with total license to see anything go anywhere at any time. And if you should die in the cause of our beloved Fatherland I give you my pledge of a state funeral. How does that sound?”
The man was offering me a state funeral if everything went wrong, how could I possibly refuse? I feigned delight, but this was liberally mixed with genuine astonishment, “This is an incredible honor sir, I am certain I am not worthy of such a thing, my father would have been so proud.”
He shook his head, “No false modesty young man, I shall be the judge of who is worthy. I hear your late father was a good Party man, it’s a pity he wasn’t here to share your glory. Of course I shall want to see everything you do, naturally you will leave your partners to run your business, no room or time for commerce when we’re making history eh. This work will require your total dedication. We would give you the rank of Colonel in the army for this service, and of course, all the benefits. Do you find this agreeable?”
I recognized this request to be an order in all but name, “Naturally, it will be an honor, when could I begin this task?” He clapped me on the back, “We can begin in one week; and when we, the German people put down our weapons you can lower your weapon, your paint brush.”
He stood and so did I, and I clicked my heels like a good soldier in salute before I left the room. I don’t even remember if I took advantage of Eva’s kind offer. The next few days passed by in a blur of activity. I had a great deal to arrange. Firstly I had to make my business arrangements. My main office was in Berlin and Helmut was shocked when I told him the news. “And you agreed to paint pictures for the swine?” he asked, “don’t you see the opportunities this gives us Hynie? Besides which what choice did I have with our esteemed leader you either do what he says or you are broken, you still have to learn to bend with the wind. Under that business suit you’re still the proud Junker.” He laughed at my jibe, as ever Helmut was at ease with the truth. “How will I run the business without you Arnie?”
It didn’t take me a second to know the answer, “Like always, profitably, anyway, perhaps the Fuhrer will be wrong and we won’t actually go to war after all.” Helmut shook his head, “No, he’s right about that, there will be war, but who knows how big and with whom and exactly when, once you open Pandora’s box anything can happen.”
“Do you think we’ll win?” I asked, “It depends on who is we doesn’t it, do you mean Germany?” he answered with his own question, “No, in this instance any country who is against Germany, how could we side with these Nazi monsters?” Helmut stood as he heard me rant, he was clearly disturbed by these thoughts, “You know what I think of these Nazis and their jumped up leader, but I am a German to the core of my being. If asked I would still fight for my country.”
We looked at each other, I was astonished and angered by Helmut’s statement, “Are you mad? These thugs stand for everything that we are against. How could you even think of fighting for them under any circumstances when the patriotic thing to do is to fight against them?” Helmut was now becoming as angry as me, he stood at the head of our boardroom table and thumped his fist down on its mahogany surface, “Right or wrong this is my country!”
I looked at him, and wished I didn’t feel it necessary to respond, but I had to, our friendship might depend on it, “So suddenly it is not my country? And in this new country no one is allowed to disagree or question?” Helmut hesitated as he heard the quiet seriousness of my tone, “We are not discussing semantics at college any more, and this is talking treason!”
“It seems to me that it is your Nazi friends who do that with every new amoral act.” Helmut tried to placate me in response, “Perhaps we should simply agree to disagree. Whatever it is you plan to do, just keep it to yourself. We will always be friends, won’t we?” he asked, and at that moment I knew we could not be but I would try once more to make him understand.
“You’ve been my arms Hynie for such a long time, let me be your heart.” He smiled but I could see that such an emotional plea was not getting through to him, his reply was simple, “Perhaps the time has come for one of us to use his brain old friend.” At that moment, with nothing resolved between us the telephone intercom interrupted, “There is a telephone call for you mister Hessel” came the voice of my secretary, “Who is it?” I asked impatiently, “I’ve told you a million times not to put anyone through when we’re in conference.” She paused, but then nervously continued, “I don’t know who it is, but he said it was urgent, he told me to tell you precisely these words, that he represented the football team management, and that when I told you this you would let me put him through.” I knew what is was about instantly, “Put him through.” I ordered, “Herr Hessel?” the man’s voice asked, “Yes,” I said, “this is Arnie Hessel, to who am I speaking?”
“Never mind my name, there is a football match this Saturday at three o’clock, can you attend?” Helmut looked
very suspicious, “Yes,” I said, “Saturday at three, usual pitch?” The man said yes, and the connection was cut.
“You’re playing a very dangerous game Arnie.” Said Helmut, “You know I always enjoyed my football.”
At the appointed time I was outside the university lecture hall trying my best to blend into my surroundings. The lecturer stayed at the podium after he had finished. He was middle aged, unconventionally dressed but an otherwise unremarkable looking man. I entered the hall when I thought everyone had left. “Good afternoon Professor.” He smiled, and beckoned me closer, “Ah my prize student, do I find you well, I understand congratulations are in order, is it all confirmed?” Now it was my turn to smile, “How many no armed Jewish artists have been enlisted to be Hitler’s war artist do you know?”
“You are honored, Hitler’s personal war artiste, an honor indeed,” he said before continuing, “It could not be more perfect, you will be of extreme use to the movement.” I couldn’t resist a question, “Where exactly do I fit into the movement?” He paused and regarded me seriously, as if I was some obtuse academic question, he shrugged, “Naturally I would like to respond directly to that question, but these are strange times, strange times indeed, in these peculiar circumstances I am none too sure where I fit let alone you, I only know the person who recruited me and you, because I recruited you, and that’s it. We have security questions that transcend any of our personal issues, you understand?” It was my turn to shrug my shoulders, “I worry that we might be used to little or no effect, I want to be useful.”
The Professor lit his pipe and fussed for a moment with it, and then took a long satisfying pull on it, expelling a puff of aromatic smoke that smelt rich and middle aged, “I came to my conclusions through my belief in Christ. You came to the same conclusions through your Socialist conviction. All I know for certain that I feel a sight better doing something to combat this evil rather than doing nothing. We might still smell that Nazi shit, but we are two Germans among many other like minded Germans proving by our actions that we won’t swallow that shit!”
We both laughed quietly, and then I asked, “What are my orders?” as I did so a young woman entered the hall, she clattered over in high heels. I had a chance to look her over as she walked across the room. Early twenties, she was now voluptuous, wearing a tight black skirt and a figure-hugging sweater. Her long blond hair, framed her oval shaped face with her large widely spaced spice blue eyes. The first thing I remember noticing were her cherry red lips smiling as the Professor introduced us as she approached, “I think you will remember your friend Arnie?”
“Marlene!” I said, totally surprised by this turn of events, “Hasn’t it been a long time Arnie?” she said and came over to hug me to her, I inhaled her wonderful smell, and enjoyed the moment. I turned to the Professor, “the Movement is playing cupid now?” he shook his head and smiled kindly, “It’s not quite like it seems Arnie, you should learn not to jump to conclusions, I’ll leave you two to make up for some lost time, I’m not authorized to hear the details of your brief, all that remains is for me to wish you both good luck.”
With that he left, Marlene and I sat facing each other. “What’s this all about, and how did the Professor know we’d been friends?” Marlene was as playful as ever, and now, as if no time had passed she teased me with that wonderful smile and her natural flirting totally captured me in an instant, “Lovers you mean, you do remember don’t you?” “What, you told perfect strangers our most intimate secrets?” I teased, “No,” she said, “but you were always so old fashioned. We were lovers and it was never such a secret.”
“Why have they brought you in on this?” She smiled again, very much in command of the situation. “You always were such an inquisitive boy, and that’s why I told the Professor to recruit you.” She let that rest with me for a moment, “So you’re the Professor’s boss?” She touched my cheek with her hand, remembering some intimacy; “something like that, more like a chief guide than a boss, but yes, the instructions you’ve been acting on have originated with me.”
“Why did you expose yourself to me now, isn’t that breaking security, in the cell system we’re never supposed to know more than one person up and one down so that if we’re caught we can’t give any more names and the chain has time to disperse.”
“Yes, but I was always prone to exposing myself to you, remember?” she couldn’t help but tease me, “We had the need to change the rules for this situation. You will need an assistant for such an important client, and that is going to be me. I qualify for several reasons, we have a long history together, since we were children, and that can be checked from Darmstadt, where everyone knew we were an item. I went on an art appreciation course; remember, at the university, that was my first degree. It’s perfect.”
“Yes, and perhaps we can make love at all of the Fuhrer’s best battlefields.” She didn’t smile at this weak little joke, “Don’t you get it, and this is the most wonderful opportunity for the Movement to create a structure together with all of our friends in the military.”
“Of course,” I said, “but can’t we have a bit of fun on the side. This is all going to take a very long time, and everything sounds so worthy and meaningful and serious, can’t we have some fun meanwhile, you and me, like old times?” She looked at me as if I was a naughty and petulant child, and perhaps I fitted that description, all I knew was that I wanted her as much as ever as soon as I saw her again. Now that she had added power and authority to her undoubted sexual attractiveness made her almost irresistible to me. I wanted to tell her about how I had missed her but it was all coming out of my mouth as if I was an uncouth idiot.
“Why do you always bring the focus of every situation to you Arnie, you always did that, and it’s very tiresome, there are more important things in this world than you.” I was chastised but not defeated, “That’s not what you once said to me, you said you would love me forever, after university we were going to get back together, forever. You went away and you never came back.” She looked at me for a long moment and then smoothed my hair back from my brow, “You always did have lovely hair, so thick and strong;” she took her hand away and broke the spell, “this is childish, love has nothing to do with now, understand?” she paused for me to respond, but I remained silent, “This is just too dangerous for love, I don’t mind going to bed with you occasionally, we both have needs, but just as friends. We don’t have time to play. Can you keep your mind on our mission, the Movement needs us to do this.”
There was no sense in my begging for more, she had her mind made up, and Marlene was the most determined woman I knew except for one other, “I have to get my mother out of Germany, can you help me do this?” she looked at me with increasing skepticism, “Is that your condition for your continued co-operation?” I was angered by her manner, “You know me better than that, but it is a condition for my mother to go on living. Or is the Movement so important that details like my mother don’t matter?”
As ever Marlene had the capacity to throw me off balance, “Professional curiosity, is it true that you killed your father?” I wasn’t sure it was wise to reply, but did so anyway, “No, he killed himself, I just helped him out of the window. What about my mother?” Marlene looked me directly in the eye and paused just for a moment, “Of course the Movement will help their own, there was never a question that we wouldn’t, whatever you do. By the way, there’s another detail for our cover story. “
“What is it?” I asked, and for the last time that day she shook me rigid, “We have to get married.”
It seemed like only a few minutes after this that Helmut was plonking a top hat on my head. I recall standing in front of a full-length mirror in my family home in Darmstadt. I thought we both looked very silly in our morning suits but the consensus between the great powers, mother and Marlene, was that this was as much a necessity as the white dress my bride was to wear, the flowers and all
the other paraphernalia attendant at any “decent” wedding.
Helmut looked at me in the mirror’s reflection, “It’s not too late to back out old friend.” He said, his tone only half joking, “I don’t want to back out you fool.” I replied with almost undue haste. “Keep your top hat old fellow, it was awfully sudden you have to admit. If she’s in trouble I know a nice old fellow in Frankfurt could make it all go away, you know, sort her out, and he’s a fine medic, no trouble, just a little money and the problem is gone.”
I acted outraged, “She is not in any trouble, but you will be if you don’t go downstairs right now.” “Fair enough old chap, keep that ridiculous hat on.” We grinned at each other, realizing quite how silly we both looked.
Down in the garden there was a crowd of our relatives and friends assembled in the grounds, which mother had organized into a magical al fresco-wedding arena. Mother looked particularly radiant and happy as she stood chatting to the parents of Marlene. I spotted several men in dress uniform amongst our guests. The preacher looked pointedly at his watch as I hurried to my position next to Helmut down the red carpet. As I approached several of the young men I had gone to the academy with shouted out ribald comments to me, which I did my best to ignore. Just before I got to my position Ratwerller stepped out in front of me. He clapped me on the shoulder, and quietly, so no one else could hear, leaned towards me and spoke, “I always seem to want what you’ve got.” I couldn’t walk past him without causing a fuss in public, and I didn’t want that on such a day, so instead I stood facing him, with a stupid smile fixed on my face, “What do you mean?” “One day I would like to have your bride, but I can wait.” He smiled and stepped aside and I decided to ignore him. As Ratwerller moved to resume his seat Helmut surreptitiously stuck out a large foot and sent the Gestapo man sprawling helplessly onto the floor in front of the entire assembly, many of who laughed at his undignified sprawl.