by Tony Klinger
He sighed and made a triangle of his fingers, “This is so delicate a business. Such arrangements are risky, costly, extremely costly.” he enjoyed elongating the moment to extract the maximum aggravation from me, but I was older now, and not so easy to excite with his usual nonsense. “The price?” I asked, “But what’s money when it’s set against the value of one’s dear mother, eh?”
“You were always so perceptive.” I answered, and this is the moment when my life was to change direction, “but what if the price wasn’t just money?” he asked me, I wasn’t sure which way this conversation was going, but I was becoming progressively more nervous, “What else do you want, a special painting?”
He smiled again, “No, I do appreciate your work, very good it is too, and especially its financial attractiveness, but art and money are not everything. After all we do not live by bread alone. I have developed a taste for other things. Like all men, the flesh is weak unfortunately.”
“What else do I have that you want?”
“I do so admire your choice of lady”
“What do you mean?” now I was very anxious, which is when Ratwerller became hard edged again, “Don’t play the fool with me, you know exactly what I mean. I want your wife.” We stared at each other; I didn’t know how to reply. I was genuinely outraged and incredulous, “You want Marlene, my wife Marlene?” I laughed, “but you’re a queer aren’t you, what would your boyfriend say?”
“I really think she’s cured me of that nonsense, but in any event if she hasn’t my boyfriend and I can share her bum whenever the mood takes us. She would probably learn to love getting it in the ass, like I do. Two whole men instead of one half of one man, what’s not to like, a little penis here or there, it isn’t an end of the world decision is it?”
“You’re obscene, this is madness and in any event Marlene won’t go near either of you scum.” I snarled this into his face but he remained as calm as ever, “Well your mother and I shall be relying on you to convince her.” He concluded, “There are millions of women out there who I could buy for you, and many of them are as attractive as Marlene, why does it have to be her?”
Ratwerller clearly savored this moment, “Because she is yours.”
I started to stand up but realized there was nothing I could do to him, “It’s men like you who will pay the price for such crimes when the Nazis are wiped from the face of the earth.” But instead of being concerned by this his grin became wider.
“It is men like me who shall be long gone when and if there is such an outcome. Or haven’t you noticed that your silly little Christian resistance movement has shrunk now that we have taken control over most of Europe. Sensible folk back winners, and we are winning!”
“I have more faith in human nature than that.” I said, but he dismissed me with a wave of his hand, “Let’s discuss politics some other time. At present all I want is one wife, on her back or front, to be decided, with her legs wide open, willing me on, or your mother will visit the camps. Deal?”
“Maybe I don’t need you for this.” I mused, “Maybe I can get my mother out without you.” The Rat laughed out loud, “Perhaps, why not try it and see?”
“I will pay any other price, but not this.” I insisted, “It is, as ever, entirely your choice Arnie, you came here and asked for my help, not the other way about.”
“We are going around in circles, it was you and your people who rounded up all the Jewish people in this town.” Ratwerller agreed, “Yes, I was obeying my orders, but I missed out your mother, and of course, you.” I let a long pause develop, “If such a thing was acceptable to Marlene, what guarantees will you give me that you will really arrange for my mother to escape?”
“Oh, you don’t accept my word as an officer and gentleman?” He mocked me, “OK, I shall accompany your mother safely to Switzerland myself and our deal only comes into effect when she is proven to be there?”
“I would have to travel with you.”
“All right.” He concurred, “But why Switzerland?” I asked, “I can count all my money while I’m there. Such a comforting race the Swiss, their bankers, so wonderful.” I didn’t have to think about this for long, “I still can’t trust you. How do I know you won’t arrange little accidents for my mother and me?”
“You’re so plebian aren’t you Arnie. Why would I, a practical fellow cut off my principal source of income and fun? There simply would be no joy in fucking your wife if you were not present to know about it in every detail.” He responded, and in his twisted mind I knew that this answer was honest. He wouldn’t kill me while he could make me suffer and make money from me. “I will make you pay a hundred times over for this you bastard.” Incongruously he reached over and stroked my face before I could back away in disgust, “such a pretty face, it’s a pity I can’t get it up for you or I’d have you instead of the pretty little Marlene, but you’re wrong again, its me that makes you pay, not the other way about. Now you run along and all you have to do is let me know when you’ve arranged to deliver Mrs. Hessel to me on a plate, with her legs spread and as soon as that’s all in place, as it were, we shall make arrangements to smuggle your mummy out, agreed?”
I turned to leave, I just couldn’t trust myself to speak with the disgusting man any longer, nor did I know what I would have said.
I went to meet my mother and wife at the family’s old home and when I got there they were seated having tea in the drawing room, facing each other, chatting amiably, seated on two of the four brocade armchairs. As I walked in they both looked up at me expectantly.
“What did the little monster say?” asked my mother. Before I could reply Marlene looked at my crestfallen face and tried to deflect the question to give me some time. “Perhaps its something you need to think about, a business demand?” But I knew there was no way around these moments and questions, “Ratwerller was his usual self. But the one thing we’re all agreed on, even him, is that mother has to get out of Germany before it’s too late to do anything. Later will be too late.”
Mother bridled, hating to be directed by anyone now that her tormentor in chief, my father, was no longer alive to bully her into submission. “Arnie, you forget that I am as German as anyone else in this country. Where else would I live, what could I do? I don’t know any other way of life.” I couldn’t believe she was that naïve, “There is no choice for you between a German way of life and another style of life, your choice is between staying and dying or going and living!”
The harshness of my words made my mother start to weep, a sight I could never deal with, Marlene neither. She moved over to comfort my mother, putting an arm around her shoulders. My wife then spoke to me, “You don’t have to be so rough with your mother, and she deserves respect.” I felt as if I had wounded my mother unnecessarily but it was for her own eventual salvation, “I don’t mean to bully you mother, you know that don’t you? But you must realize that we have to get you out of Germany while its still possible for us. Remember when I was a boy and you told me when and how to pick my fights, never to give in? Now its your turn to fight, but not here, where they will kill your voice, but from outside, where you can do them the most damage.”
Bertha looked up at me, dabbing at her eyes with the lace handkerchief, which she kept perpetually up her cardigan’s right sleeve, “You understand, I am not crying for myself or this house, it is only bricks, and they can be replaced by another house somewhere else. But they have removed my family. I simply do not know the fate of my brother, sister, mother, cousins; all of them gone. I fooled myself that somehow they will be all right, but now I know they will all be murdered and any chance I had of ever seeing them again, embracing them one more time, has vanished forever.”
“That’s not true, they have been taken to the new Jewish labor camp, I already told you.” Said Marlene, but Bertha shook her head slowly, “Rivers of blood and death will result from the
se Nazi madmen, mark my words.”
I didn’t have the heart to lie to her, when it was obvious that we agreed, “These are terrible times, I didn’t think you still thought so much about your family, you never speak about them, see them or anything, and they treated you so badly when you married father.” She looked at me mournfully, and spoke through her tears, “I think of them every morning, when I wake up and before I go to sleep at night.”
Marlene sought to find something positive to say, “I’m sure they will be fine, you know how it is with rumors, they usually turn out to be silly stories.” Mother smiled bravely at her daughter-in-law, “No, we all know, no one come back, once they’re taken away, that’s it.”
There was a moment when none of us knew quite what to say, but then I tried to reassert control over the way the conversation was going, “That’s why we can’t let the same fate overcome you. We are going to take you to safety in Switzerland, then the world will be your oyster, and you will be in charge of your own destiny again.” Marlene joined me in the attempt to bring some enthusiasm and optimism back to my mother, “Where would you go, if you had the choice, England, America or maybe even Australia?”
Mother replied instantly, “Palestine. I would go to Palestine.”
This surprised me totally, I had never heard my mother express any opinion on the Jewish people’s ancient homeland, I was incredulous, “Why Palestine, its hot and dusty, full of people in conflict, don’t you want some peace?”
“Because I have finally realized that is where all Jews should live, and if necessary fight. If others say that I’m nothing but a Jew I shall not disappoint them, and once I get there I shall never run again.”
Later, after Marlene and I had said goodnight to my mother we strolled through the garden, each lost in our memories of the place. We were both reluctant to talk more, but knew there was no escape, “How are you actually going to get mother out?” she asked, “I’m not certain yet.” Marlene stopped and we faced each other, she looked into my eyes, her habit when she was determined to force the truth out of me, “Everything you do Arnie, is calculated, you already have a plan, what is it, can I help?”
I still tried to prevaricate, “Rat says he will help with this, and you know how resourceful he is.”
She nodded, but wasn’t satisfied with my response, “and the Rat is very greedy, so what has he asked for this time?”
Something about the manner of my hesitation before I replied set the mental alarm bells ringing in my wife’s head, “What is it, what does he want, what aren’t you telling me?” I couldn’t answer, “Is it something to do with me?” she asked, as ever intuitive, “It is you, he wants you.”
Marlene was very calm, and this made me more nervous than if she were ranting and raving at me as I had expected, “And what did you answer, when he made this proposal?”
“I said no of course, I said no.” Marlene shook her head, “No you didn’t,” I was trapped, “OK, maybe I didn’t say a total no exactly, I wasn’t strong enough, its my mother, can you forgive me?” She caressed my cheek and smiled, “You still don’t know how much I love you do you, for you I would let the entire Gestapo have me if its what you needed.”
“I cannot allow it.” I answered, “You silly man, you’d risk your own mother’s life because of your ridiculous masculine pride, you know he can take my body, but he can never take my heart and mind.”
“I just cannot stand the thought of that man touching you, seeing you, knowing you.”
She shook her head again, “He could have my body a thousand times but he will never know me, whatever happens, I shall always be your woman.” She kissed me and I responded.
Chapter Sixteen
The German/Swiss Border
1940
There were four trucks and a car in our convoy through the mountain roads and their hairpin bends leading to the German and Swiss border. Our car was a Mercedes and was driven by Helmut, our ever-faithful friend, with us for every major adventure, wanted or otherwise. I sat next to him; Marlene was in the back of the car. The trucks each had two heavily armed Gestapo men guarding them. The vehicles had tarpaulins covering their contents.
We were within a few minutes of the border when Helmut took another swig from his whisky flask, which he had been taking large nips from throughout the long drive. He offered it to me, and again I declined. “Why so glum?” he asked me, “The very finest Scotch whisky, nothing ersatz about it, I can assure you. How about it Marlene, would you like a nip, to keep the cold off?”
She took the proffered flask and drunk from it and passed it back to our friend. “Better?” he asked her, “Much thank you.”
Helmut looked between the two of us, and then he smiled one of his knowing smiles, which usually indicated he was about to get something wrong, “What is it, you two lovebirds had your first big married row?”
“We’re that obvious?” I said, seeking to keep the conversation bland, “Why else would you be this miserable. We’re going to a perfectly nice neutral Swiss and German friendship gathering to exhibit the very finest German art, the majority of which is yours. We shall have a lovely few days of pretentious chitchat, Edelweiss and cuckoo clocks and both of you look like the entire world has caved in on your pretty heads. Now cheer up or I shall have to bang your heads together.”
I smiled, despite not feeling like it. “Have you got all our permits?” I asked him. “For the hundredth time, I have got all the bloody stupid permits, in triplicate, including your letter of accreditation from Herr bloody Hitler. What else can they want, a counter signature from God?”
“I’m just being an old woman aren’t I. You’re right let’s have a sing song.” I started to sing my favorite song, Lili Marlene. The others soon joined in, and the soldiers in the trucks, hearing this, joined in loudly.
It was a fun moment, and it served to break the tension that existed in our car. It was only a little while longer that we pulled to a halt by the German border crossing. There we encountered two bored sentries who snapped to attention when they saw the impressive credentials that Helmut proffered on our behalf. One of the sentries suggested we all wait in the car as he rushed busily into the small green wooden hut that apparently served as the border guards’ office and mini barracks for this out of the way crossing point.
I exchanged an anxious look with Marlene, and hoped the worried look on her face wasn’t as obvious to the border guards as it was to me. We saw the guard on the telephone and he occasionally looked up from his conversation to our car. I could just hear snatched of what he said through the open window, “Yes sir, I shall keep them here until you arrive. Yes sir, understood.” He replaced the receiver and walked from the hat to join his colleague. They spoke with one another, and both men turned to face our car.
As this was happening our convoy guards alighted from the trucks to stretch their legs, pleased at this pause in the long journey. A couple of our soldiers joined the border guards in some unheard banter, no doubt at our expense, and they all looked at us and laughed. Helmut turned to me, “Wait here, I’ll go and find out what this hold up is about.”
Helmut got out and approached the soldiers, meanwhile Marlene leaned toward me, and “Do they suspect something?” she asked.
“Only if some particularly repellant rodent has been captured and turned, and that couldn’t have happened so fast.” I said it, but I wasn’t sure that I was right. Rat would sell his soul for the price of a cup of coffee.
Helmut’s imposing presence had the effect of making the soldiers straighten up as he joined them. “We have a busy schedule, what appears to be the hold up?” he asked, in his best officer class, patrician voice. The senior of the border guards fell back on the most heard words of the Nazi era, “Orders sir.” He paused, “We’re following orders.” Helmut looked at his quizzically, “But we have signed authorization from Adolf H
itler, who dares question such orders, someone who wants to spend the winter in Russia?”
The guards wished they were anywhere else at that moment, but orders were orders, “A superior officer will be along very shortly sir, and I’m sure he will have answers.”
But Helmut was not to be easily deterred, “Don’t you think the Fuhrer’s own orders to.” he looked at the paper and read it out loud, “To let the bearer pass without let or hindrance, and I quote, to assist in any way deemed fit by the bearer, far outweigh any orders by any petty bureaucrat in an out of the way crossing, don’t you?”
“Yes sir.” The guard responded, “Good,” said Helmut, “then raise the bloody barrier and let us through right now.” “I can’t do that sir.” He insisted, “You are now disobeying a direct order from the Chancellor of Germany, the Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler himself. No one does that, you will be shot you fool!”
The guard swallowed hard, but didn’t budge. Helmut turned his attention to the other guard, “What about you, do you also want to get shot because of this clown?” The second guard clearly didn’t know what to do, “No sir, but it’ll be just a few minutes and we can sort this lot out.”
Helmut was towering over them both, and I thought he might hit one of them, but at this point, with him clearly attempting to intimidate the guards, that the senior one of the two calmly pointed his rifle at my friend. “Please sir, can you wait in the car?” he said it very inoffensively, but Helmut wasn’t easily deterred, “I am giving you both one last chance!”
The soldier prodded his rifle in the direction of Helmut, no longer cowed, but determined to follow his orders. “Now sir, be a good gentleman, walk back to your nice comfy car please sir, we’ll have this sorted out shortly. There’s a good gentleman.”
Helmut had no alternative but to do as he was instructed much to the amusement of our own military escort who clearly relished the puffed up aristocrat ordered around. Helmut returned to the car and slammed the door shut. “No luck?” I asked, fighting hard to suppress my own nervous giggles. “You would think we had no papers, this is outrageous!” His shouts drowned out a noise from somewhere in the rear of the car. Arnie turns toward the back of the car by reflex, “What was that?” asked Helmut, “Face the front, don’t look around!” commanded Marlene urgently. Helmut, suddenly paler did as he was instructed, “We owe you an explanation.” I said to my friend.