by Tony Klinger
She laughed again, she was very attractive in the sunlight dappling her face, her thick hair framing her wide set and penetrating eyes, “I think you had better ask me that again after he pops the question.”
“I’m sorry, I took it for granted. You paint well, when we drove through this town it looks like its full of artists.”
She nodded, “Yes, it was for a very long time, hundreds, maybe thousands of years, a centre for theological study and now it’s the art capital of Israel. Do you like my town?”
“Yes I do, its warm and comfortable, like you.”
“You know how to pay a pretty compliment mister Hessel.”
“One of my few real gifts.”
“Why don’t you stay in Israel, live here, in this town, you’d love it I’m sure, this is your real home?”
I shook my head, “I’m more German than Jewish in my ways. I’m used to my wife of life, for whatever its worth. It’s too late to change now.”
“What kind of life is it?” she persisted, “Women and money are that much more important to you than your sons?”
I winced from the direct hit, “They might have been in the past, but not now. I know my reputation is pathetic, I’m sorry for what I did, or didn’t do, but I can’t remake my past.”
She came over to my seat and knelt next to my chair, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.”
“Why apologize, he’s famous for his boozing and whoring?” Ezra had woken up and this had also woken Ben. “And for his wonderful talent.”
“Look,” I said, “My talent was never an excuse for my behavior, but I don’t want you to argue about me. This isn’t right, I don’t want you to fight ever, especially about me, I’m not worth it. I’ll go back to London, today.”
Michal, who had now stood turned to my sons, “Can’t you stupid men kiss and make up. This is your father. You only ever get one. I wish my daddy was still here for me to cuddle right now. Don’t let your daddy slip through your fingers, love him today and every other day God gives you!”
We all went silent for a few moments as she walked into the house and left us all facing one another.
“She’s right.” I said, “Not about me being worth anything, I’m probably not worth one minute of your time. But haven’t we hurt each other enough now?”
Ben got up from his chair and walked over to me, he kissed me on the cheek and it felt good. “She’s right, I love you dad, whatever you did or didn’t do.”
Ezra also rose from his chair, “I can’t just forget all those years. All we ever got from you was money, never anything but money. And that meant nothing to you. I used to dream about you when I was a child. I used to pretend that when I got home from school you’d be there, waiting for us. I used to hope you’d die so that I could stop hoping you’d come. Do you know how many times I cried?”
Ben went to his brother and hugged him. My tears fell as I watched my boys, thinking what had I done to deserve to be in the lives of these two magnificent young men.
“I can’t do anything about what’s past, but I can promise that it won’t ever be like that again. What do you say, will you give me one last chance, I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking?”
“Tell me one good reason why we should.” Ezra demanded of me.
“Because one day I am going to die, and it won’t be so long and I don’t want to be alone. I want my sons to say the prayers for me that I just said for my mother. I’m too old to fight any more, too old and too tired. I can even forgive the bastards who did such terrible things in the war; so, I’m asking you to forgive me. I know I’m not a good man, and I’ve been a total mess as a father, so I deserve your contempt; but I want your love. Please, I’m begging you.”
There was a long pause while we all looked at each other, then my sons came to me, one on each side, and they hugged me, and my life was complete.
“Now can I go home?”
“How can you want to go home when we’ve finally found each other?” asked Ben, “He’s right.” Ezra suggested, “Stay with us here. This is your home. What’s there in Europe so special?”
“I’m a painter, and that’s where I can paint, and it has been too long since I saw my home. But there’s no big rush.”
We embraced again, understanding one another, and all of our needs, for the first time. Now I could look in the mirror again, and like what I saw.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The Hessel House, The Rose Garden, Darmstadt, Germany
Spring 1986
My life had, by now, become mellow, the pace gentle, even the air felt mild. The colors were pastel, not so vibrant. I was aware that I now looked the part of the patriarch, the great white haired old artiste. Some things never changed I thought and chuckled quietly as I painted. My model was a young nubile blond, she was nearly naked, and was standing at almost exactly the same spot where Marlene had stood so many years before.
The blond spoke to me, I would tell you her name if I could remember, she was very beautiful, in a hurry like all young people. I do recall she had a broad American accent, from the Deep South, somewhere like Georgia. “I’m really an actress you know maestro. I’m only doing this kind of thing because you’re so famous, for the painting without the arms and all. This is kind of like a classier version of me posing for Playboy. And I get to make postcards of the painting to send to all the talent agents like you promised, that’s class, pure class man.”
“Keep still please.” I told her, she kept fidgeting.
She couldn’t maintain her position for more than a few moments, and I was thinking that she was more trouble than she was worth however beautiful she was.
“Wait until I tell all the gang that my painting is hanging in some old European gallery.” She turned to smile in my direction, breaking the pose yet again. I let the brush fall out of my mouth in exasperation.
“You can put your robe on for now. Thank you.” I told her.
“Maybe you want to get to know me a little better. I don’t mind that you’re old and wrinkly because you’re really famous.” She moved so her lovely breast was just inches from my mouth. I could feel her heat.
“Come on old guy, you still got what it takes? Let’s party!”
I tried to stand up, and back away a little, but she moved closer again. Our bodies were touching and despite myself I began to get excited. This is ridiculous, I thought.
“No, I’m too old and too tired, you should be with a young man.”
But she had her hand on me, and my penis never had any sense or emotion, it responded for the first time in a long while. She kissed me and I began to feel the blood pump within me. She kissed me passionately and it was then that I felt the first stab of intense pain hit my chest. It was like a huge hammer hit me. I fell to my knees. My breath came in huge gulps. I struggled to find air.
Through a fog I saw the blond girl panic, “Stop it, stop it, you’re really freaking me Arnie!” she shouted at me, but although I tried to smile to reassure her I couldn’t control myself. I slumped to the floor. Prostrate. I saw the blond move away from me, repelled by my battle.
Strangely, through that pain there was an oasis I reached, a moment when I could remember everything, and I saw, clearly my mother, she was smiling at me, “Mama,” I said, “Is it a good picture, did I do it well?”
I returned her smile, and then was no more.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The Jewish Cemetery, Frankfurt
1986
As the many cars pulled into the ground of the cemetery the media were fighting hard to gain a good view of the private proceedings. Ben and Ezra stood next to their father’s coffin as an old man walks over to each of them and shakes them by the hand. “I am Helmut, we never met but your father was a very special man.” Before they could respond the rabbi started th
e service.
The prayer hall was crowded with dignitaries, but Ben leaned to his brother and whispered, “Dad would have been happy, look at how many friends he had.” Ezra looked at the chapel, full to capacity, and then noticed through the windows, that there were hundreds, possibly thousands more outside in the grounds of the cemetery.
A very old man with a stick went to the lectern when asked by the rabbi, “Hi,” he said, “My name is Hank, and I’m here just to say a few words for my dear friend Arnie Hessel. He was an extraordinary man born in the most extraordinary of times.”
Before he could continue Hank began to cry. He was unable to speak further but Ezra took his place.
The eulogy he delivered would have made his father happy and content. He talked of the last twenty years, when the family grew to include his marriage and children, and those of his brother, now the tribe was bigger, but they were all so proud of all the people that their father had helped around the world, helped to help themselves. The fact that Arnie Hessel had given away his entire fortune to his trust, and that this had now grown to encompass every continent. He was a diamond, perhaps a rough diamond, but their diamond nevertheless. “I am proud that this man was my father.” He concluded.
Shortly after the coffin was gently lowered into the ground. The rabbi led Ben and Ezra in the rituals and they recited the Kaddish for their daddy, just like he had wanted. As is the tradition the gravediggers gave each of his sons a shovel and they dug into the loose earth around the grave and poured it onto the coffin, it made a very final sound as it hit the wood. When they had started the process each man present took their turn to do the same thing, and very soon the grave was full of earth.
Despite it not being part of the Jewish tradition hundreds of young artists each dropped a flower onto Arnie’s grave and the colors were joyous, just like one of his paintings, and when no one was left at the graveside, a number of butterflies settled on the flowers, they formed a rainbow as they beat their wings, as if in tribute.
THE END
Epilogue
Some facts about Poliomyelitis. It is, or rather was, a very cruel but widespread illness, and remains a deadly part of our world in many regions of the planet. Polio was first recognized as a distinct condition by Jakob Heine in 1840; Its causative agent, poliovirus, was identified in 1908 by Karl Landsteiner. Although major polio epidemics were unknown before the late 19th century, polio was one of the most dreaded childhood diseases of the 20th century. Polio epidemics have crippled thousands of people, mostly young children; the disease has caused paralysis and death for much of human history. Polio had existed for thousands of years quietly as an endemic pathogen until the 1880s, when major epidemics began to occur in Europe; soon after, widespread epidemics appeared in the United States. By 1910, much of the world experienced a dramatic increase in polio cases and frequent epidemics became regular events, primarily in cities during the summer months.
In order to make a polio diagnosis, the doctor will order certain tests that will look for the virus or antibodies the body has made against the poliovirus. In order to perform these polio tests, a stool sample or a throat swab may be taken.
There are a number of diseases and conditions that are similar to polio in signs and symptoms: Bite from a snake (such as a cobra) Poisoning Diphtheria, Myasthenia gravis, Guillain-Barre syndrome, Transverse myelitis, Tick paralysis, Rabies Botulism.
When a person is infected with poliovirus, the virus resides in the intestinal tract and mucus in the nose and throat. Poliovirus transmission most often occurs through contact with stool of this infected person (known as fecal-oral transmission). Less frequently, polio transmission can occur through contact with infected respiratory secretions or saliva (oral-oral transmission).
Common signs and symptoms of polio symptoms include fever, sore throat, and nausea. Symptoms usually appear 7 to 14 days after a person becomes infected with the poliovirus. Up to 95 percent of people who are infected with poliovirus will have no symptoms. However, people who are infected and do not have symptoms can still spread the poliovirus and cause others to develop polio.
When a person becomes infected with poliovirus, the virus begins to multiply within the cells that line the back of the throat, nose, and intestines. Polio symptoms usually appear 7 to 14 days after a person becomes infected with the poliovirus. This period between polio transmission and the start of symptoms is called the “polio incubation period.” The incubation period for polio can be as short as 4 days or as long as 35 days.
Between 1 to 2 percent of infected people develop aseptic meningitis from poliovirus. For these people, early symptoms can be similar to minor polio symptoms. Then aseptic meningitis symptoms can develop, including stiffness of the back or legs and increased or abnormal sensations. These symptoms improve rapidly, usually within a couple of days (2-10 days) with complete recovery.
With Paralytic Poliomyelitis less than 1 percent of cases will result in paralysis. In these severe cases, symptoms begin with fever, muscle aches, loss of reflexes, and other “minor illness” symptoms.
These early symptoms improve after several days. However, 5 to 10 days later, the fever returns and paralysis begins. Paralysis progresses for two to three days. Once the temperature returns to normal, there is usually no further paralysis. Along with paralysis, other polio symptoms with paralytic poliomyelitis can include painful muscle cramps and muscle twitching.
The risk of paralysis from polio increases with age. In children under the age of five, paralysis of one leg is common. In adults, paralysis of both arms and legs is common. Muscles controlling urination and breathing might also be affected.
Many people with paralytic poliomyelitis recover completely, and muscle function returns to some degree. However, paralysis after six months is usually permanent.
People who develop serious symptoms (including paralysis) may experience complications. Polio complications in severe cases can include: Inflammation of the heart muscle (myocarditis) High blood pressure (hypertension) Fluid in the lungs (pulmonary edema) Pneumonia Urinary tract infections (UTIs).
Approximately 2 to 5 percent of children and 15 to 30 percent of adults with paralytic polio die from the poliovirus infection.
Fortunately, widespread and effective vaccination to protect the young was developed and distributed globally after the Second World War and this dreadful disease was all but eliminated in the industrialized world. In 1988, when the Global Polio Eradication Initiative began, polio paralyzed more than 1000 children worldwide every day. Since then, over 2.5 billion children have been immunized thanks to the cooperation of more than 200 countries and 20 million volunteers, backed by an international investment exceeding US$ 8 billion.
Today, polio has been eliminated from most of the world and only four countries remain endemic. In 2009, fewer than 2000 cases were reported for the entire year. Charitable groups such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation work tirelessly to eliminate this disease.