by Lexy Timms
"You're not going anywhere. You're made for this place." He kissed the side of her face. "What's all this shit about? Did Simon hurt you?"
Another sob tore from her. "I love him, Cade. He's been my rock for fourteen years. He was everything to me."
"What happened, Jules?" The nickname smacked her in the face and she balled up tighter and started to cry harder. No one told him her nickname, but it didn't matter. It hurt all the same. "Don't talk about it anymore. Let's get out of here. I'll take you for an early dinner and we can talk, or I'll just make you laugh the whole time."
"I have a surgery." She forced herself to push back a little as she tried to wipe the smears of mascara from his shirt.
"Cancel it. Text Simon and tell him something’s come up and you have to get out of here. Do it now." His voice was commanding, but in a way that made her want to obey.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." She glanced up at him and knew the error of her ways. He looked so much like her husband did years ago, when he loved her madly and showed it.
A sob rolled out of her and Cade leaned down, pressing his lips to hers and pulling her against him again.
She murmured against his mouth and slid her arms around him, opening up and sliding her tongue along his as he rolled it in and out of her mouth. His hands moved down her back and latched onto her ass, squeezing softly as he groaned low in his chest.
The slow heat building between them felt wrong and yet she didn't want it to stop.
He pulled back and sucked in a sharp breath. "Fuck, you're so what I want in my life, Julie. Let's grab dinner and then we'll have a drink at my place. Come with me?"
"Yeah..." She moved from him and picked up her phone, texting Simon that she was out. She couldn't stay any longer and if he was disappointed or upset... he should be. She wasn't the woman she thought she was. She wasn't sure who she was anymore.
The restaurant was dark and cozy, the wine strong and delicious. She sat across from Cade, forcing the younger man to sit on his side of the table and not crowd her on hers. He watched her intently, his eyes moving over her face as if he were trying to memorize her.
"What happened with you and Simon, Jules? I need to know." He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it softly.
"Over the last year we've both been too involved at the hospital. I'm working to take his spot as lead surgeon and he's been working hard to cross-train. He's beyond brilliant." She picked up her glass and took a deep drink of the bitter liquid.
"I know. He was incredible in the surgery he allowed me to do with him the other day. I've actually read all about him and his research. I just didn't put two and two together for some reason." He licked at his lips and pushed his plate away with his free hand. "Anyway... go on."
"So, about two weeks ago he got in a car accident, but he wasn't alone. I don't know the specifics, but he called me and informed me that he had been sleeping with one of the HR girls and he was sorry." Julie set the wineglass down and looked up, not sure what she’d find.
The concern on Cade's face melted her a little. "What? Out of all of the scenarios, I never expected that one. Who would be insane enough to cheat on you?"
"I guess my best friend of fourteen years." She swallowed the hot lump of pain that rose sharply to lodge itself in her throat. "I want to get over it, to move on, but I can't."
"I wouldn't be able to either. I was with a girl all through high school and then after our freshman year, we went to different schools and the bitch started sleeping around. Insane. Not sure what she was thinking." He chuckled and released her hand.
High school. Freshman year of college. What am I doing here? He's just a kid.
"Right, so I guess you get it too." She finished her wine. "I'm tired and want to go home."
"Yeah, come on. I'll take you to my place. I don't know where yours is and you're a little tipsy." He stood and moved to her side of the table, taking her hand and helping her up.
It wasn't until she was standing that she realized just how much she had drunk. She wrapped her arm around his waist and shook her head. "No. I want to go to my house. If I go to yours, we're liable to sleep together."
He grinned. "That's what people who are attracted to each other do." He moved to the front of the restaurant and pushed the door open as she tried to protest again. There was no way she was adding insult to injury.
"I don't think it's a good idea, Cade. I want to keep our relationship professional."
"And we will. At work. No one needs to know our private decisions." He paused by her side of the truck and leaned down, kissing her softly, his tongue warm and wet. "Tell me you don't want more and I'll take you home."
"I don't want more. Please... not while I'm drunk." She leaned into him and kissed him again. What the hell was she doing?
"You do want more, but not tonight. I understand. Give me the address." He smiled and opened the door, helping her in and chuckling as her words slurred.
She leaned back and closed her eyes, allowing the soft buzz of the truck to lull her to sleep.
"Wake up, baby. This is your house, right?" Cade picked her up out of the truck and walked her to the front door as she came to.
"Hmm? Yeah. This is it. Thank you so much." She slid down the front of his body and pulled him down for a long kiss. He pressed her to the front door, the strong feel of him against her beckoning her to bring him in with her.
"Goodnight, Jules. I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her nose and pushed her door open. "Sleep this off and know that I'm fighting every bone in my body not to strip you down and christen every room of your big beautiful house."
She walked in and looked over her shoulder, taking him in and letting out a long shaky breath. "Me too. Me too."
Chapter 18
Simon struggled to sleep the night before, but at three in the morning he resigned himself to sleeping medication to get the job done. Taking anything to force his body into a natural cycle that it should do on its own left him pissy. It took three cups of coffee and a fried egg sandwich the next morning to pull him from his funk, but once out of it, he dressed and headed to NYU.
Jerry Smithers was back in town and wanted to chat a little about the new scholarship Harvard would be creating that next fall. The hope was that Simon's name would be on it as the honoree, which usually meant contributing a little to the cause.
Seeing that Julie was going forward with the divorce, and they didn't have any kids to support, he had plenty of funding to help with anything anyone needed. It was a shitty reason for the excess, but in needing something positive to help him keep his chin up, it was excess nevertheless.
Dr. Smithers was giving a lecture to a group of third-year med students on ethics that morning and Simon hoped to catch the tail end of it, if nothing else. The old man was boisterous and made everything fun. He was one of Simon's favorite professors during his schooling and he hated to see the guy leave for Harvard, but they came calling with large sums of money as the enticement.
A smile brushed across Simon's face as he parked outside of the large auditorium on campus. "So many good memories here." Sadness threatened to bring his mood down, but he shoved it away. He could lament and fall apart after the divorce hearing, but for now... he would simply ignore the parts of his life that weren't at all working and focus on the ones that were.
His career was going as good as he could only hope it would, the promise of cross-training and moving to another discipline wide open before him.
Julie was right to want a transfer and he would talk to Elijah after the divorce settled to help her get one. The hope that they would rekindle was slim to none now that Cade had arrived on the scene.
Simon ran his fingers through his dark hair and got out of the car, walking languidly to the large auditorium doors and trying to ignore the curious stares from several cute girls that passed by.
He would have no trouble finding another woman to keep his bed warm, but it was his heart he was concerned with. Julie was the on
ly one he could see when he tried to peer into what he wanted his future to look like, who he wanted to be the mother of his children, and the person he grew old with.
Letting out a long sigh, he slipped into the darkened arena and found a chair as Jerry told a joke and had the whole crowd torn up in stitches. It was good to see his old mentor, still living out loud and enjoying life to the fullest of its extent.
He sunk down in his chair and clasped his hands over his stomach, putting his full attention into the lecture and loving every minute of it.
"Great job, old man." Simon reached out and shook Jerry's hand after the room emptied out.
"Oh yeah?" Jerry smiled and pulled Simon into a manly hug. "I saw you sneak in there at the beginning. For a moment there I thought about calling you out for being late, but a heaviness sits on you. I just couldn't poke at you because of it."
"Please, ignore it. I'm headed for divorce proceedings next week. It's not soon to pass, but once it does, I'll be grateful." Simon moved back and walked next to Jerry as they moved out of the building.
"Oh. I'm sure sorry to hear that, old friend. I wish I could offer a piece of advice, but you'd not want to hear what I have to say." Jerry smiled and nodded to a row of benches in the sun.
"Of course I would. You've been my collegiate and career mentor since I was a boy." Simon smirked and walked toward the benches, sitting down and turning to give Jerry his attention.
"Right. So do you love her? Is she all you see when you think about the time to come?"
"Yeah, unfortunately." Simon shrugged and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.
"You love her. She seems to be unable to let you go either. She’s hurt. You’ve messed up royally. Before I told you the woman wasn’t worth it. I have to disagree with myself and change my opinion.”
“What do you mean?”
“My advice would be not to give up. Divorce is a separating of the bond that you created in marriage, but just as the flesh was never intended to be cut open... it can be sewn shut. You know this well, do you not?"
"Of course."
"And even though the scar tissue at times is rather unappealing, it seals the wound, allows for healing and gives character to the person." Jerry patted Simon's knee. "You cannot give up because a tear has occurred, not even when it feels like finality has set in. Persevere. It's the only course of action for a man who's truly in love."
"You're right. I need to chew on it a little more, but let's not get caught up in the drama of my love life. Tell me why you wanted to meet." Simon glanced to his left as a group of younger males dribbled a basketball and laughed loudly.
"I wanted to let you know that I have been to see the Dean of Medicine at Harvard and they've approved the scholarship and your namesake on it. I'm thrilled and you should be too." Jerry laughed and the sound forced Simon to smile.
"That's great news. I needed some for sure. Now, what do you need me to do?"
"Just be at the event that Elijah is holding for your hospital in a week’s time and then come to the one in Boston when we make our announcements over upcoming scholarships. Sound like a plan?"
"Absolutely. I plan on helping to contribute to the funds, so save your breath on asking me for a check." Simon forced a chuckle and stood.
"You know me too well, boy. I need to come up with a few new tricks to keep you on your feet."
"No, please don't. Staying on my feet has become increasingly harder and harder over the last few weeks." Simon extended his hand. "You need anything else of me? I have a mid-day shift at the hospital, but it was good to see you. Great lecture as per usual."
Jerry shook his hand and waved off the compliment with a loud snort. "You're a talented surgeon, Simon. One of the best I've seen. Just remember in the process of working so hard to save lives that you don't lose your own. Don't give up if she's worth it. Never. Don't ever throw in the towel. It's the only regret that will cling to you for the rest of your days."
"Thanks, Jerry." Simon shook his mentor’s hand and walked back across the campus, grateful for the break from life, albeit it being so short.
A couple caught his attention as he moved toward his car, the girl's long chestnut curls moving in the wind as her back faced him. The nerdy boy before her reminded him a little of himself and he couldn't help but stop and watch them as the boy pulled the girl close.
Their laughter slammed into him and memories of him and Jules holding each other in the very same spot, laughing and loving each other, threatened to leave him breathless where he stood. He wrapped his arms around himself and forced his gaze to move in another direction as the boy took his girl by the face and leaned in for a long, sweet kiss.
"How long do you hold on? How long do you hope for something different than finality?" He swallowed the ache that rose inside of him. His stomach tightened painfully at the idea that Cade might actually have a chance with his wife.
The argument from the day before wasn't what he wanted for them. Being angry and lashing out at each other with double-edged swords wasn't at all the type of people they were. He would have to show Julie how much he loved her while still trying to give her some semblance of space to live her life and make mistakes.
He pulled his phone out as he reached the car and wrote a quick text telling her that he loved her more than anything in the world and that he wasn't giving up on them. He asked her to have breakfast with him at her favorite cafe and he promised not to slurp his chocolate milk.
Tears burned his eyes as he got into the car and read over the text again, the low heartfelt pleas leaving him as if she were there.
"Please. Please don't do this, baby. Don't go through with it. Anything. Elijah said anything and Jerry said the same. I'll do anything."
Letting out a long sigh he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, trying to once again pull himself together. He inhaled deeply and sat up, deleted the message, and tossed the phone in the passenger seat of the car. She wouldn't appreciate him butting back into her life at the moment and he wasn't ready to beg just yet. Close, but not there just yet.
He drove to the hospital with the intention of going to see Elijah when he got there. If Cade continued to push Julie toward something romantic, she would eventually crumble to the kid's desires. She was hurt, and like any woman would, she wanted to feel special, beautiful, loved.
"I love you," Simon whispered into the empty car as he pulled up to the hospital. He needed to find a place to stay and unload the truck he'd borrowed from one of the other surgeons before all of his stuff got taken out of the back. "As if I care."
Elijah might not like what he would have to say, but if he put it in the right context, his friend would at least listen. The last appearance he made was a rather nasty one and he needed to watch his emotions in the future. Elijah was still the chief of staff and his boss. The situation with Julie couldn't change Simon's persona or his emotional stability, or the hospital would take notice and they would be forced to do something about it.
All he had was his career. He wasn't letting that get ruined along with his marriage.
Simon walked into the hospital dressed in slacks and a light blue button down, his hair a bit of a mess, but he didn't care. There were extra scrubs in his office and he wanted to make sure he looked nice for the lecture earlier that morning.
A few minutes later he stood outside of Elijah's open door. A quick tap on the frame and he poked his head in.
"Now a good time?" Simon waited until Elijah nodded.
"Yeah, come on in. Shut the door."
Simon closed the door and walked toward the empty chair across from Elijah. He stood behind it and squeezed the back a little as he leaned in. "I'm sorry for my blow up the other day."
"It happens, but you do need to get yourself on lock-down."
"I understand. I'm working on it."
"Good. Now, what's up?"
"Two things. I got the namesake vote for the Harvard Scholarship, so I assume Dr. Smithers will be calling
you soon. Just wanted you to hear it from me."
"That's excellent news. I know you needed a small ray of light. Congrats."
"Yeah, thanks." Simon took a quick breath. "The other thing is that I'd like you to look into the relationship budding between Dr. Paulk and her intern."
Elijah's eyebrow lifted, but Simon continued.
"I'm not being the jealous husband, but the kid is falling for Julie and I'm not so sure she's not returning the favor. It's hospital policy that we're not allowed to be involved with any of the interns or residents, unless we too are one, correct?"
Elijah stood. "That's correct. I'm not sure I would believe Julie capable of falling for anyone seeing how much emotional crap she's wading through right now, but... I'll look into it."
"Good. Thanks." Simon turned and walked to the door, stopping only at the sound of Elijah's warning.
"I'll look into it, which means that you stay out of it."
"Will do." Simon walked out and shook his head.
As if it were that easy.
Chapter 19
The throbbing pain of a hangover was the last thing she wanted to deal with when she woke that next morning, but there it was, in all its glory. Julie groaned and rolled over in her bed, still fully dressed. A long sigh left her as she tried to sit up and flopped back down.
How stupid was she?
Going to dinner with her intern? Getting drunk with him? Kissing him?
"Fuck," she grumbled and let out a long groan as she forced herself to the upright position. The room spun around her and she took her time standing.
This would be the moment where Simon would come into the room, sweep her off her feet and carry her to the couch to rest for the day. He would wait on her hand and foot and make her feel like a million bucks just with the exorbitant amount of attention he would lavish on her.
"I miss you," she whispered and forced back tears. Why had she slung such harsh words at him before? The hurt in his eyes at her words, combined with his dismissal of her, left her feeling like complete shit.