Commitment

by Healy, Nancy Ann

  Cassidy loved the playfulness of her wife. She could see the way Alex’s eyes lit up as she carried the box toward the living room. She started toward the coat rack and retrieved her jacket when Alex captured her attention with a quizzical expression. “I have to make sure the reindeer eat their carrots, Alex,” Cassidy explained. Alex nodded her understanding. “I figured I would make some hot chocolate when I’m done, and then you can help me with Santa’s cookies,” Cassidy said.

  Alex beamed. “Okay!”

  Cassidy headed off to the patio and began removing a few carrots here and there. She took a bite out of several that were left. “I cannot believe the things I do.” She snickered at the slight absurdities that accompanied parenthood. Once Cassidy finished throwing the extra carrots off into the woods, she headed back to the house. Closing the door, she heard Alex singing Santa Claus in Coming to Town and allowed the sound to wash over her. She continued to listen, occasionally catching herself humming along as she prepared their cocoa.

  “How’s it coming?” Cassidy asked.

  “Just about done, actually,” Alex said.

  “That was quick.”

  “Eh, it was easy. Let me get his other Santa presents and put them under the tree,” Alex said. “Be right back.”

  Cassidy set the cocoa on the small table next to the couch, put one of her favorite CDs on and turned off the remaining lights, leaving only the tree to illuminate the room. She watched Alex place the rest of the toys Santa would deliver strategically under the tree. Alex placed the last box where it was only slightly obscured by a few branches and then turned to Cassidy. “All done,” she announced proudly.

  Cassidy’s nose wrinkled into a devious smile, and Alex’s brows raised in silent questioning. “Well, actually there is one more,” Cassidy said.

  “No. I don’t think so. I got them all.”

  “No, there is,” Cassidy said definitively. “But, before I show that to you, I have something for you.” Cassidy patted the couch and handed Alex a small box as the agent took her seat.

  “You’re giving me a present tonight?” Alex asked. Cassidy just shrugged. “Well, then I should…”

  Cassidy grabbed Alex’s wrist. “Just open it,” she said.

  Alex slid the bow off and tore the paper to reveal a jewelry box. She stopped and looked at Cassidy, receiving a raised brow in encouragement. Alex opened the lid slowly. “You got it back! It’s my necklace from the…” A crease crept across Alex’s forehead. She shook her head a bit sadly. “Cass, this isn’t mine.”

  “I think it is,” Cassidy said.

  “No…look,” Alex said as she lifted the necklace from the box and looked at her wife. The sparkling smile that greeted her caused Alex to search Cassidy’s eyes deeply. She explored the familiar twinkle of green and blue that tonight seemed to reveal a hint of mischief and mirth. Alex continued to study her wife intently. As Cassidy moved to look at the box in Alex’s hand, her blouse drifted open, reflecting the light from the Christmas tree off of the stones in Cassidy’s necklace. Alex thought she might have stopped breathing. She reached out and took a gentle hold of Cassidy’s charm, noting the extra stone sitting next to the diamond marking Dylan’s birth. She slowly allowed her gaze to meet her wife’s eyes again, trying to process what Cassidy was telling her.

  “I guess, maybe Santa got my letter, huh?” Cassidy said with a caress of Alex’s cheek.

  Alex froze. “Cass?”

  Cassidy continued to caress Alex’s cheeks softly, ensuring Alex could see the truth in her eyes. “Yes, Alex. We’re having a baby.” Tears immediately escaped Alex’s eyes as she looked at Cassidy, awestruck. She had instantly become immersed in a sea of emotions that pounded over and through her in waves. “Alex?” Cassidy called gently as Alex leaned forward and kissed her. Cassidy felt Alex’s hands raise to take hold of her own, both of which were still gently placed on Alex’s cheeks.

  Alex tenderly placed her forehead against Cassidy’s. “Cass,” Alex whispered as she pulled back. “Are you sure?”

  Cassidy smiled. “Yeah, I’m positive, honey. Though, it’s possible we might have to change that stone if this little one decides to wait a bit longer. If not, it looks like we’ll have two July birthdays to celebrate this year,” she said. “I hope you don’t mind sharing,” she winked.

  “You’re gonna be a mom!” Alex exclaimed as the emotional reality shifted suddenly to elation. “Cass! You’re gonna have a baby.”

  “I know,” Cassidy replied trying not to fall into a fit of laughter at Alex’s sudden outburst. “I think you might be forgetting something,” Cassidy smirked.

  “What do you mean?” Alex asked.

  “You’re going to be a mom too,” Cassidy raised her brow.

  “We’re having a baby,” Alex looked at her wife. All Cassidy could do was smile back. “Oh my God, Cass…Dylan’s gonna freak! He’ll believe in Santa til he’s twenty for sure! Hell, I think I believe in him.”

  “I think I just might agree with you,” Cassidy said. “On that subject,” she handed Alex another box and directed her to open it. “I thought that could be a present Santa drops off at Nick’s for Dylan.”

  Alex explored the contents of the box. She looked back to Cassidy, beaming with excitement. “You are such a terrific mom,” Alex complimented.

  “You think so?” Cassidy asked genuinely.

  “Yeah, I do,” Alex said, sealing her words with a kiss. She dropped her hand to Cassidy’s stomach and closed her eyes. “There’s a little Cassidy in there.”

  Cassidy watched the emotions cross Alex’s features like ripples across the water. Each one seemed to travel directly through to her heart. “Merry Christmas, Alex.”

  “Merry Christmas.” Alex kissed her wife’s forehead. “I love you, Cassidy. Thanks for giving me the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

  “It’s not even Christmas yet,” Cassidy noted.

  “Well let’s see if we can’t give you something to unwrap slowly until it is,” Alex countered.

  “Are you propositioning me?” Cassidy asked. “I’m a married woman, you know. A married, pregnant woman.”

  “I’ll take my chances. I have an ‘in’ with the big man in red,” Alex answered, offering Cassidy her hand and pulling her up.

  “Think he’ll let me ride in his sleigh?” Cassidy sniggered. Alex picked Cassidy up into her arms. “What are you doing?” Cassidy squealed.

  “I don’t have a sleigh, but I’m more than happy to give you a ride, Mrs. Toles.”

  “Well, then…on Dasher…”

  Christopher O’Brien walked into the townhouse and began searching out his girlfriend. “Cheryl?” he called out. There was no answer. “Cheryl! Where are you?”

  O’Brien weaved his way down a narrow hallway toward the kitchen. It was empty. He continued his exploration of his home, stopping in his office, the living room, and even checking the bathroom. He climbed the stairs to the second level and called out again. “Cheryl?” He shook his head in frustration. “It’s Christmas Eve. We have dinner plans at seven. What are you doing? Sleeping?” he continued to ask questions and speak as if his girlfriend was beside him. Reaching the master bedroom, he was surprised he still had not found the woman. He began removing his tie when a neatly folded paper in the middle of the pillows captured his attention. He began opening it and watched as a small black and white photo slowly cascaded down toward the bed. He picked it up and groaned. Returning his attention to the paper in his hand; he felt his frustration and anger building quickly.

  Chris,

  I hope you have a lovely Christmas. Mine has consisted of discovering that you have been sleeping with half of D. C. I wonder if they all have as much to show for their efforts as I do. You were right. I am an idiot. I truly hope you get everything that you deserve and more.

  The movers will be there Saturday. Merry Christmas. Maybe the redhead will be able to fit you in.

  Cheryl

  “Fabulous,” O’Brien mu
ttered.

  Thursday, December 25th

  Alex shifted slightly in the bed and pulled Cassidy into her arms. “Merry Christmas,” she whispered with a kiss.

  “Ummm,” Cassidy grumbled.

  “Dylan’s going to be in here any minute, you know?” Alex chuckled. Cassidy just snuggled closer, and Alex closed her eyes. “Why don’t I go down and get some coffee started? Your mom will be here in an hour or so,” Alex offered.

  Cassidy pried her eyes open and smiled. “Just stay here until he wakes up,” Cassidy whined.

  Alex raised her eyebrow slightly. “Tired?” she inquired.

  “Can’t imagine why. Someone had me up half the night under the pretense of hearing Santa Claus,” Cassidy teased.

  “Well, it’s good practice,” Alex offered her explanation.

  “For?” Cassidy asked.

  “I imagine we will be up half the night a lot. Might as well do it on our terms while we can,” Alex explained her reasoning.

  Cassidy propped herself up and looked at her wife. She felt an incredible sense of love and completion wash over her. They had spent most of the night awake, talking, laughing, and making love. She was amazed at the range of emotions Alex had displayed throughout the night. At times Alex was playful, almost giddy with excitement. Cassidy loved that part of her wife’s personality. It often surfaced when Alex interacted with those she loved, particularly Dylan. Cassidy had expected Alex to display her playful nature when she heard the news that Cassidy was pregnant. The incredible emotional shifts that they both seemed to experience over the course of the night had taken Cassidy by surprise.

  At times, Alex would stop their bantering and gaze longingly into Cassidy’s eyes, searching in silent contemplation. Those moments inevitably ended with a languid kiss. Their lovemaking had been slow and sensual, an achingly complete exploration of the other. Their needs had little to do with desire or release. The touches they had shared had been reverent and compassionate. To Cassidy, it felt as if they could both sense new life between them. Somehow, that seemed to spur the ghosts of their pasts, creating a yearning to seek forgiveness and acceptance in one another for all that they had been and all that was to come. It was an intimate promise; a commitment reaffirmed.

  Intimacy existed in every moment that passed between Alex and Cassidy. For Cassidy, it mattered little whether they shared a kiss, a laugh, a conversation or even an argument; she felt Alex’s presence within her constantly. She would not have believed that anything could bring them closer, but waking now, looking at Alex after the night that they had shared; she could not deny their connection had grown even stronger. She smiled and cupped Alex’s cheek, bringing her lips slowly to her wife’s in an effort to convey the depth of her emotion.

  “What was that for?” Alex asked.

  “You.”

  “Me?” Alex asked.

  Cassidy nodded. “Thank you,” she said softly.

  “Thank me? What are you thanking me for?” Alex wondered aloud.

  Cassidy kissed Alex again. “I think you are Santa Claus,” she giggled.

  Alex felt Cassidy’s head as if she were checking for a fever. “You feeling all right?” Alex asked in mock concern.

  Cassidy swatted her hand away. “Knock it off,” she giggled. “I’m serious.”

  “Last time I checked I don’t own a red suit or any reindeer. I do like cookies,” Alex’s diatribe was again halted by a kiss.

  “There’s only one thing I’ve ever really wanted, Alex,” Cassidy said seriously. Alex’s expression softened; listening to her wife as she reached out to tuck Cassidy’s hair behind her ear. “All I ever wanted was to have a family with the person I loved. That’s all. I’d given up on that, you know…until I met you. It would have been enough for me to share the rest of my life with you and Dylan…but, Alex…this….having a baby with you…”

  “I know,” Alex said with a kiss to Cassidy’s cheek.

  “I wouldn’t care if I never got a Christmas present again,” Cassidy chuckled through a sudden emotional sob.

  Alex nodded with a smile and pulled Cassidy close. Cassidy’s eyes revealed everything that passed through her mind and her heart. Alex had discovered that the moment she met the school teacher. Cassidy’s eyes were more than expressive; they were a window. Alex had often mused that the adage ‘the eyes are the window to the soul’ must have been written about Cassidy. She had watched her wife’s eyes mist over repeatedly throughout the night as the gravity of their new reality took hold of them both. She had witnessed the unbridled passion in Cassidy’s darkening eyes. Alex understood her wife’s longings. Cassidy was meant to be a mother; to nurture. It was one of the many parts of Cassidy that Alex marveled at; her capacity to love so generously. She kissed Cassidy’s forehead as her wife’s tears subsided and were replaced with soft laughter just as Dylan’s door creaked open across the hallway. A new day, full of surprises was about to begin. Alex painted a mischievous grin on her face and shifted the mood. “Guess I’ll just take those presents I bought you back then; since you won’t be needing them anymore.”

  “You will not!” Cassidy poked her wife as the door flew open.

  “Come on!” Dylan urged. “Alex, come on,” he made his way to the bed.

  Alex laughed. “We’re coming, Speed.”

  “Mom! Come on…we have to see if the reindeer ate their carrots!” he grabbed for his mother’s hand.

  Alex hopped off the bed and pulled Cassidy with her to follow their son down the stairs. “Well, come on Vixen,” Alex implored.

  Cassidy put her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?”

  “Hey,” Alex whispered. “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who nibbled the carrots.”

  “Mm-hm,” Cassidy groaned playfully as they watched Dylan bound down the stairs. She patted Alex’s tummy. “Vixen, huh? Guess you really are Santa then.”

  “Told you; I like my cookies,” Alex answered. Cassidy felt Alex’s lips brush the top of her head as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

  “He was here!” Dylan exclaimed, noting the presents under the tree. Alex and Cassidy watched as he sprinted to the small table that had held Santa’s cookies and milk. “Santa ate your cookies, Mom!”

  “Did he?” Cassidy asked, smirking at Alex. Alex just shrugged.

  Dylan sprinted off to the back door in the kitchen and pumped his fist in the air. “See? It worked, Mom. It did, Alex! The reindeer ate my carrots!”

  “That’s great, Speed,” Alex told him as he ran full tilt back toward the living room. She nudged Cassidy gently. “I’ll bet they were hungry from keeping all of Santa’s secrets,” Alex mumbled in amusement, receiving a gentle whack in return.

  Alex and Cassidy settled in for the rest of their morning, watching as Dylan explored the gifts Santa had left. Dylan excitedly showed his parents all of his haul. He handed Alex his new video games and jumped up and down at the toy Batman figures and Iron Man mask Santa had left under the tree. He continued to explore while they waited for his grandmother to arrive so they could move on to the colorful boxes that remained wrapped under the tree.

  “Are you going to tell your mom when she gets here?” Alex whispered.

  “No,” Cassidy answered. “Only your mom knows and that’s only because I needed her help to execute my plan.”

  Alex watched as Dylan scurried around the tree, looking intently. “What are you looking for, Speed?” she asked. Dylan just shrugged, looking slightly defeated and then settled back at his racetrack. “Oh boy,” she whispered to Cassidy.

  Cassidy heard her mother’s car pull in and patted her wife’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine, honey,” Cassidy assured her wife as she headed toward the door.

  Alex smiled down at Dylan, who was back playing with his racetrack and started to follow. “Maybe we should….”

  “Ohhh no, you don’t,” Cassidy warned. “You remember your plan to announce our engagement?” she reminded her wife. Cassidy pointed to Dylan. “CNN is not b
reaking the news for us this time.” Alex pouted slightly. Cassidy patted her cheek. “You know what the song says, Alex…you’d better not pout.”

  “I already got my present,” Alex declared.

  Cassidy stopped with her hand on the doorknob and kissed Alex’s cheek. “Come on, Santa, we’d better help Grandma before she gets run over by one of those reindeer.”

  “This had better be good,” the president said as he moved through the White House.

  “Sir,” his chief of staff began, “I don’t know what this is about, but whatever it is, he said it could not wait.”

  President Strickland was irate as he entered the small office that adjoined the Situation Room. “Leave us,” he ordered. He pressed a button on a small console, instantly concealing the glass enclosure. “What the hell is so important that you had to disturb me today?”

  “I wasn’t aware that the president was ever off duty,” the man answered.

  “Admiral,” Strickland cautioned.

  “What the hell were you thinking, Lawrence? Where the hell did you get the idea to bug Alex Toles’ home?” Admiral William Brackett bellowed.

  “That warrants you barging in here under the pretense of national security on Christmas?” the president answered in kind.

  “It does when we are ready to deploy assets to Moscow. Not to mention Dimitri has his hands on nuclear material. My daughter is off in Belarus with her oldest friend, who happens to be Edmond Callier’s daughter, and who works for Russ Matthews, and Christopher O’Brien’s girlfriend walked into the FBI two days ago,” Admiral Brackett answered.

  “While fascinating, I don’t see any correlation to national security,” Strickland replied harshly.

  “No? Really? Then you are either blind or utterly stupid…. or there is something you have not told me. Perhaps that is it,” the admiral guessed.

  “Bill,” the president cautioned. “What do you want?”