“Sorry you have to drive me back.” He hated feeling like such a burden.
“It’s not a problem, Riley. It really isn’t. I’m single, and I have nothing else to do.” She shook her head, a slightly bitter tinge to her words. “Pretend I didn’t say that. It’s this time of the year when it’s cold outside and you just want someone to snuggle with. Plus, I’m still reeling from the holidays. They somehow reinforced the fact that I’m alone. With each year that passes, my chances of staying this way increase greatly.”
“You’ve never struck me as the type to be unhappy about being single.” His heart ached as he said the words. It wasn’t that he minded being single. He hadn’t minded it, at least. Before Gabby. But after a person had met their soul mate, it was hard to go back to being alone.
“No, I think you can be single and happy. It’s just that I have this biological clock that is ticking, and I want a family. But not enough to settle for someone who’s not right for me.”
Sophia had always taken strong stands when it came to love and romance. Just two years ago, she’d called off an engagement to a doctor because she didn’t feel like their belief systems shared enough in common.
Her decision had been a wake-up call to Riley. At the time, Gabby hadn’t been a Christian, and he’d seriously played with the idea of dating her anyway. When he heard about the struggles Sophia was going through, he knew he needed to wait.
He’d been glad he had. Gabby had been worth waiting for and he’d been amazed by the transformation going on in her life. She was an amazing woman. He only wished life had turned out differently.
“I hope you find someone and get that family you’ve always wanted,” Riley finally said.
She smiled softly. “I hope the same for you, Riley.”
***
Riley got home just in time to make his next appointment. Thankfully, this one had nothing to do with his recovery, though, and everything to do with his peace of mind.
He found his mom dusting the china cabinet, something she’d started to do on a weekly basis. Riley knew she was looking for excuses to be close by. His dad had even started bringing work home with him.
Growing up, his mom was always busy volunteering at church, having lunches with friends, going to Pilates, shopping, and everything else under the sun. That had changed in the past few months.
Everywhere he looked, someone was losing out because of him.
Riley paused in the living room. “Hey, Mom. I’m back, but I’m going out for a little while. I just thought you’d want to know.”
She paused, dust cloth in hand. “On another walk?”
He shifted, knowing even before he said the words what his mom would think. “Actually, I’m meeting Mr. Parksley.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean, dear?”
“He’s teaching me to whittle.”
“To whittle?” she repeated.
Riley nodded. “That’s right.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with the incident last week does it?”
He shook his head. “No, of course not. I think the stress was just getting to me. I felt bad, so now I’m playing nice.”
She nodded, and Riley thought he saw relief in her eyes. “I see. Well, have a good time.”
He took off toward the backyard and followed the little path around the lake. Ducks and geese swam peacefully in the placid water. He was surprised they hadn’t gone south for the winter yet. It was downright chilly out here, and Riley wouldn’t be surprised if they got snow this season. The gray sky seemed to hold promise that precipitation was possible.
He tightened his scarf around his neck and reflected again on his conversation with Todd. In his own selfish way, it had felt good to meet someone else who’d gone through similar struggles. But his words echoed in his mind. If you find a woman who will stick with you through thick and thin, you need to hold onto her.
He could see how that applied to Todd. But sticking with Gabby would have meant essentially ruining her life. It would have been selfish of him to expect that of her. She’d even come to visit him twice, and each time he’d had to work hard at remaining at a distance. He’d felt like a jerk afterward. Maybe he was a jerk. But sometimes the answers for the future weren’t as black and white as he’d like for them to be.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He immediately pulled it out and glanced at the screen. His heart raced when he saw it was Gabby.
“Hey, you,” she said.
Just hearing her voice made his throat go dry. “Hey, Gabby. How are you?”
“I’m hanging in. Staying busy, for sure. We’ve had to take on some part-time employees to keep up with our work load.”
“That’s great that there’s no shortage of work.”
“It helps pay the bills, right? How are you doing, Riley?” she asked.
He thought of a million things he wanted to tell her. He wanted to bring up Mr. Parksley and his mixed martial arts class and . . . basically, he wanted to share everything about his life with her. But he couldn’t do that. Gabby would never move on if he didn’t give her space. All he had to do was say the word and she’d be up here every spare moment, bending over backward to help. He couldn’t let her do that.
“I’m hanging in. My life is basically therapy right now.”
“I see. Is your recovery going okay?”
“The doctors have said I’m progressing nicely.”
“That’s great news, Riley. It sounds like you’re really moving on.” Her voice caught as she ended the sentence.
There was so much he wanted to say. He hadn’t moved on. He hadn’t moved on at all. But saying those things would only give her hope. He didn’t want to do that. It was better if she forgot about him.
But why did his heart seem to say differently?
He floundered for a moment. Everything that came to mind seemed wrong. How could they have gone from sharing everything about their lives to this strain? He knew it was all his fault.
He spotted Mr. Parksley’s house in the distance and paused. “Gabby, I don’t want to cut you off, but I have to run.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll talk to you again soon, okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” She didn’t sound convinced, though.
That realization made his heart pang with sadness. And made him want to kick himself. Could it be that they were both trying to be strong for each other and, in the process, both were losing out?
He put his phone away just as he walked up to Mr. Parksley’s house.
Riley knocked at the door and a man other than Mr. Parksley answered. “You must be Riley,” he said.
Riley nodded. “And you are?”
“I’m Lockard, Wayne’s friend. I just stopped by to drop off some venison jerky. He asked me to answer the door.”
“You a hunter?”
He nodded. “That’s right. Wayne and I like to go turkey hunting together.”
Riley raised his eyebrows as surprise washed over him. Before he could ask any more questions, Mr. Parksley appeared behind Lockard. “Riley, good to see you here.”
Lockard waved. “I’ll be seeing you.”
Riley’s thoughts raced. Obviously, Mr. Parksley did have a gun. His wife also hadn’t been spotted since Riley had heard that gunfire.
What exactly was Riley doing here again? Did he have a death wish?
He glanced at Mr. Parksley. A strange, unreadable expression lingered on the man’s face. Riley hoped he didn’t regret being here.
CHAPTER 13
“Alright. Sit down at the kitchen table while I get everything ready,” Mr. Parksley said, sauntering off in the direction of the garage.
Riley did as he was told. But the blood he’d seen on the floor kept flashing back in his mind. He’d definitely seen blood here, evidence that something had happened in this room. Obviously, it had been cleaned up by the time the police arrived.
Riley glanced through the kitchen door
way and into the living room at the fireplace. Had Mr. Parksley burned the towels he’d used to soak up the blood? His soiled clothes? Was there any proof in this house?
Riley’s lungs tightened. A tremble ran through his hands. His mind raced.
No, not another panic attack.
The attacks came at the worst times and made him feel helpless. No man wanted to feel like that.
A couple times he’d stopped the attacks using some breathing exercises Dr. Perkins had given him. He tried those now, breathing in to the count of three and then exhaling.
Even more than the breathing, though, he focused on praying.
Lord, help me get through this. I can’t do this now. I know I’m broken, Lord. Physically, mentally, at times spiritually. I need You, Lord.
Riley jerked his eyes open when he heard movement behind him.
“We’re starting your first lesson with a sweet potato.” Mr. Parksley came back into the room with a box in his hands. “People are always surprised, but these little tater tots are the best for getting practice. They’re soft enough to carve but firm enough to really get an idea for what wood will feel like.”
As Mr. Parksley showed him some tricks and techniques, Riley somehow managed to stay in control. His trembles calmed. His breaths came more easily.
Until he saw the knife in Mr. Parksley’s hand.
Riley’s throat went dry as he focused on the blade.
If the man had killed once, he would kill again. All he’d have to do was jab that knife in Riley’s direction and the second chance Riley had gotten on life would be gone.
That panicky feeling rose again, but he tried to push the emotion down.
Lord, I can only do this by Your strength. I beg you for that power now.
Finally, Mr. Parksley put the knife down. “Why don’t you give it a try?”
Riley forced a smile, forced air in and out of his lungs, and willed his shoulders to relax. “Sure thing.”
As Riley carved what he hoped would look like a face, he felt his heart slow. He was wasting time and needed to make the most of being here. That meant he needed to ask some questions, do a little digging.
He cleared his throat. “So, did you ever find a new housecleaner?”
Mr. Parksley shook his head, carefully watching Riley’s progress. “Not yet. Good help is hard to find. Plus, I want my wife to have a say in it all.”
“Your wife? I don’t think I’ve met her yet.” Riley tried to concentrate but ended up cutting off the entire nose he’d just tried so hard to carve.
He shook his head. “Probably not. She’s down at some fancy spa in Palm Beach right now.”
“Really? It must be some spa.”
He let out a chuckle. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t go down and play some golf. I’ve heard there are some great courses down there.”
His face reddened. “Well, it just wasn’t a good time for me. I just finished up my tenure with the hospital, but there are still a few loose ends that I’m trying to tie up.”
“I heard you were an administrator there.”
He nodded. “It’s hard to let go of twenty years worth of work, even though I know it’s time.”
“Well, maybe next time you can join her.”
His eyes still looked sad. “We’ll see.”
Riley looked down at his potato and tilted his head. Surprisingly enough, he could actually see a face appearing in the orange flesh.
“You see. You’re getting the hang of it!” Mr. Parksley said.
Riley smiled. “I guess I am.”
He stayed another hour and, when it was time to go, Mr. Parksley invited him over again the next day. Riley quickly agreed.
He’d do whatever he had to do to prove he wasn’t going crazy.
***
After Riley got home that evening, he excused himself up to his room—his haven, lately. He looked up Heidi Klein on his computer. There were two people with that name who were listed as living in his zip code and both had phone numbers listed.
Should he call? If he did, he needed to formulate a plan for what he would say; otherwise he’d sound like a bumbling fool. He leaned back in his bed, trying to think it through.
Finally, he dialed the first number, but no one answered.
He tried the second number and a woman answered on the first ring.
He licked his lips, which were now dry. “Hi, I’m looking for Heidi Klein.”
“This is Heidi.” Her voice turned cautious. “Who is this?”
“My name is Lee,” he said, choosing to use the second part of his name. Lies didn’t easily roll off his lips, and he felt certain she’d hear the dishonesty in his voice if he strayed too far from the truth. “I’m actually looking for the Heidi who used to work for Wintergreen Housecleaning.”
“Why?” The caution in her voice deepened.
The fact that she hadn’t denied anything gave him hope, though. “I was hoping to utilize her cleaning services.”
“Oh, is this Mr. Anderson? I guess you heard I got canned from Wintergreen. I was hoping some of my former clients would call and I could show that nasty Eileen Wintergreen that I’m a decent person. I get one client who claims I stole something, and I’m instantly the bad guy.”
The good news was that Heidi was alive and well. The bad news was that Riley still had no idea if he’d really seen and heard what he thought he did.
“I’m sorry to hear everything you’ve gone through. I’m glad to know you’ve started your own cleaning business, though.” He paused when someone knocked at his door. “Listen, Heidi, I’ve got to run right now. An emergency just popped up, but I’ll call later about that job.”
He looked up and saw his mom had peered into his room.
“Everything okay?” she asked. She asked that a lot lately.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Why?”
“I’m not used to hearing you talking on the phone. Not since you were in high school and dating Kelly Smithson. You remember her?”
Riley resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Yes, I remember Kelly.”
“She was such a nice girl, from such a nice family.”
“She was nice. Gabby’s nice too, Mom.” He hadn’t meant to say the words. But the fact was that he could tell that Gabby wasn’t his parents’ first choice. They wanted him to marry someone more like them. Gabby was from a blue-collar background. Her dad had been a drunk, and her mom had died of cancer. Gabby had pretty much made it on her own. Most people would admire that kind of tenacity.
“Gabby was very faithful to you, Riley. I could tell she cared about you very much.”
“So why do you keep encouraging me to push her away?”
“Now, you know what the doctors have said—”
“But you were relieved to hear that was their advice. You were glad they encouraged me to take a step back.”
She frowned. “We just want you to have more than we ever did, Riley. When your father and I first got married, we didn’t have much money, and it was difficult. You always want more for your children than you’ve had for yourself.”
“So this is about money?”
Her frown deepened. “She encourages you to follow your heart.”
“Which is a good thing, right?”
“You’ll never provide for a family if you continue with that law firm you started, Riley. You could hardly make ends meet taking on all those cases for people who couldn’t pay you.”
“Money isn’t everything, Mom. I was doing something that made me feel good at a spiritual level.” His parents went to church, and they loved God in their own way. But sometimes he still marveled that he was their son because his worldview felt so very different. He approached life decisions based on the Bible, based on prayer, based on the counsel of godly friends. His parents made decisions based on stability, financial freedom, and esteem from their friends.
They were from two different generations, and he didn’t
expect his parents to approve of everything he did. He certainly didn’t approve of everything they did.
But, as soon as he could, he needed to get out of the house and make his own way. Staying here was only temporary. He was grateful for his parents’ care and concern, but living here he was taking too many steps backward.
“If you ever want to have a family one day, Riley, you’re going to need to make enough money to support them. Gabby brings out a different side of you, a riskier side.”
“She encourages me to do what I feel called to do.”
She wrung her hands together. “There’s something your father and I want to talk to you about anyway.”
Riley braced himself, his gut telling him he wouldn’t like what she had to say. “What’s that?”
“I should wait—”
“You’ve already started. I’d really like it if you finished.”
“It’s Jim Gleason at church. He’s the managing partner at his law firm. He said he’d like for you to come work with him.”
Riley let out a soft sigh, subduing the overwhelming emotions that rose in him. “Mom, you know I have no intentions of staying in this area.”
“Where else would you want to go?”
“Back to Norfolk.”
“For Gabby? Olivia said she’s dating someone else. You’ve got to let her go.”
He stood, surprise flashing through him. “What? You’ve got to be kidding. She’s not dating someone.”
“Well, she has a male caller.”
“A male caller?” What in the world was his mom talking about?
“An admirer? Whatever you kids call it these days. That’s what Olivia has said.”
He sank back onto the bed and shook his head. Olivia lived across the hall from Gabby and would see everything going on. She would see everyone who came and went.
Had Gabby moved on that quickly? It couldn’t be possible. He’d only been back up here for a couple of months.
“I know that’s hard to hear. I’m sorry. But this position that Jim has talked about has a lot of promise. It would really help you get back on your feet again. You and I both know that you’re in no state to start up your own law practice again. You’re going to need some oversight as you go back to the real world.”
While You Were Sweeping Page 5