Prairie Tale: A Memoir
Page 36
My boys. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for allowing me to have you in my life. Each of you, with your own ways, your own strengths, fills me with pride. Sharing the journeys of your lives is my greatest joy.
Bruce, love of my life. There are no words for you. All you need to do is look in my eyes.
Finally, I must say that I had the hardest time finding a title for this book! It was a real struggle. So I had a contest among my very wise and very funny friends. I thank all those who participated. You know who you are and which suggestions were yours!
Thank you to Charlie Adler, Ann Andrews-Morris, Alison Arngrim, Leilani Baker, Nancy Banks, Robert O. Berdahl, Lee Boxleitner, Dean Butler, Mitzi and Charlie Brill, Sidney J. Burgoyne, Tina Carlisi, Tira Christensen-Scott, Paul Christie, Amanda Cizek, Stephanie Crane, Katie Daly-Dancy, Michael Des Barres, Tayloe Emery, Krista Erricksen, Iva Franks-Singer, Bill Funt, Michael Gully, Tom Hanks, Mary McDonald-Lewis, John C. McDonnel, Peter Onorati, Charity Ozarowski, Jim Ramlet, Robbie Rist, Colleen and Charlie Schlatter, Oliver Scott, Vernon Scott IV, Jayne Spears, Mark Steinberg, Angela Teresa, Kerri Torrance, Daniel Wachtenheim, and Brian Wimmer.
Only you could come up with such eloquent, sweet, and twisted titles. I love you all!
I Told You So
Half Pint Goes to Hollywood
Prairie Blossom
Little House, Big Heart
Take a Walk on the Wilder Side
Lights, Camera, Blackouts
The Summer to Forget
Big Girl
From Half Pint to Sag-ging Adult?
Half a Pint of Trouble!!
How My Mom Dated Bill Funt’s Dad?
My Life on the Brink, Man
Life, Love, and Hollywood
The Joys of Working with Robert O. Berdahl
The Highs and the Lowes?
Battle of the Network Stars
Don’t F*** with America’s Sweetheart!
Prairie Home Companion
Some of Melissa’s Favorite Foods
Half Pint; Full Quart!
The Large Pint Giveth and the Small Pint Taketh Away
I Never Tripped on That Hill (But My Little Sister Did,
Bwaaaaaahhh)
Little Ho on the Prairie
Bruce’s Babe
Half Pint and Half Lit
There’s Fire under That Gingham Dress!
Mankato, Here I Come!
Mr. Edwards, Your Lap Sure Is Uncomfortable
Me, Myself, and Why
Save the Whales: The Story of Melissa Gilbert
Nellie’s Not a Bitch, Mary Is
Sylvester and Me, A Secret Love Revealed
Prairie Girl
Ha-ha! I Never Went to Jail and You Did!
I’m Not a Bunny Boiler
Wild Child
Little Pint in the Big World
Melissa Ellen Gilbert: Just a Kid with a Career
Baby Girl
Melissa Gilbert: Pulling No Punches
Melissa Gilbert: Growing Up Sweet, Living Strong
Walking in Laura’s Shoes…Living in Mine
Big Lights, Little House: The Melissa Gilbert Story How I Learned to Love Gingham
This F*****g Book Should Be about Paul Christie But I Made It
about Me Instead
Little Girl, Big Dreams: Melissa Gilbert
Corn Beef and Kreplach
A Sale of Two Titties
And You Thought Charlie Adler Was Pretty!
A Whore in the Temple of the Arts
The Carpet Does Match the Drapes
I Am Not Elaine Stritch
Don’t Read This Book
A Little Prayer on the Housie
The Mackerel Worker
Mind Your Business
Enough About Me…What Do You Think About Me?
I Am My Own Stalker
My Pet Cemetery Is Bigger Than Yours
Laura Ingalls Became President of the Movie People
All This and I’m Only Half Done!
Fully Me: My Journey in and beyond the Prairie
Fill the Pint
The Prairie Moves
Melissa Gilbert from Pigtails to Politics
Melissa the Chosen Child
Half Pint…a Day
Does This Gingham Dress Make Me Look Fat?
I F****d Rob Lowe on the Skyway to Tomorrow Land
Things I Have Stuck Up My Nose
Fear and Loathing in Walnut Grove
Waaaah Waaaaahh
Melicious Gilbert—My Prairie Tale Life
Acting’s One Thing. Actors Are Another.
The Kid Slays in the Picture
Half Pint and Other Measures
Shaking (Off) the Prairie Dust
Little House, Big Secrets
The Autobiography of Melissa X
I Am Not Sara
Half Pint…Fully Loaded
Half Pint…After Dark
I Love Charlie Schlatter
Little Whore on the Prairie
I Gave My Friend Dying from Leukemia a Fart Box
I Am Not My Pigtails
PHOTOGRAPHIC INSERT
Me, approximately eight months old. This photo was taken by my dad.
Mom, Dad, and me, the fattest baby EVER, 1964.
My mom loved Halloween. She made all of my costumes. This one is from 1967. I look very serious for a doll!
Me and William Windom on the set of Gunsmoke.
My Pa directing Little House in 1975.
Me with Victor French on set, 1975.
My mom, me (in my Saturday Night Fever suit), Jonathan, Tricie, and Sara in Hawaii in 1979. We look perfect, don’t we?
My mom, Auntie Lynn and Michael Landon, and my grandma at my brother’s bar mitzvah, 1980.
My Super Celebrity Sweet 16! Victoria and Ed McMahon, me, my aunt Dotty, my mom, and my grandma.
Seventeen and deadly at the Night of 100 Stars.
Me at my eighteenth birthday party with friends, including Katie Daly, Chad Lowe, and Michael Landon Jr.—what a motley crew!
Senior prom with Mike Jr. My makeup was done on the set of Splendor.
Rob and me, happy and in love, 1981. I can’t get over what babies we were!
With Rob, circa 1986. I really love this photo of us. Courtesy of Peter Borsari Photography.
My Alan Greenspan (not the Chairman of the Fed). Courtesy of Toby Greenspan Zneimer.
Lauren Holly, me, and Katie Wagner at Bo’s Birthday party in 1988 (while I was pregnant with Dakota).
Bo and me bringing Dakota home from the hospital in New York City. All I wanted to do was get inside and curl up with my son.
Me and Bo celebrating Christmas at my mom’s in 1989, after our first separation.
Bruce and me, pregnant with Michael, at a sci-fi convention in Atlanta.
Bruce holding my hand in the operating room while the doctors are delivering Michael. Not happy people.
Kangaroo care with Michael. I love the way his tiny hand is peeping out.
Bruce and me celebrating on the night of the SAG election recount results. All hail the conquering heroine!
Bruce and the boys on Christmas, 2007. (FROM LEFT: Lee, Michael, Sam, Dakota, and Bruce.)
Visiting Walnut Grove with the cast of Little House: The Musical in a really silly reproduction covered wagon. (CLOCKWISE, FROM TOP LEFT: Jenn Gambatese, Kara Lindsay, Kevin Massy, and me.)