About this Book
ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED.
Leo and Chad are glad to be back at Rotfield Middle School with their friends. But they can't help noticing some of their classmates are acting a little . . . undead. The Zombie Zappers are determined to find out why. And since Principal V won't help them stop the zombie outbreak, they're the only ones who might be able to save their fellow students.
Table of Contents
Cover
About this Book
Title Page
* * *
CHAPTER 1: ZOMBIEZAPPER #1
CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE ALERT
CHAPTER 3: OPERATION ZOMBIE CODE
CHAPTER 4: BACKUP OPERATION ZOMBIE CODE
CHAPTER 5: ZOMBIFIED
CHAPTER 6: GREEN GLORY
CHAPTER 7: ZOMBIE MAYHEM
CHAPTER 8: ZOMBIE FIELD DAY
EPILOGUE
* * *
Note to Our Readers
Copyright
Read each title in Zombie Zappers
CHAPTER 1
ZOMBIEZAPPER #1
Leo yawned and rubbed his eyes. He squinted at his alarm clock until the red blur turned into numbers. He had time to fit in a quick update before school. His laptop was still open on his legs from last night. Leo pressed a button, and the familiar screen of his Web site lit up.
For all your zombie needs, the slogan read. Hmmm. Maybe he needed something catchier. No time to think about that now, though. Leo scrolled over to the “Z-News” section and started typing:
Good morning, zombie geeks! ZombieZapper #1 here with an update. Yes, folks, this is a true story. It’s my own report from the field. My assistants and I are still sorting through the data. But I can tell you this: Z-spotting at Rotfield Mall confirmed yesterday at 12:06 p.m.
Location: In-Between Burger.
Subject: Teenage male, light brown hair, blue eyes.
Skin color: Gray!
Clue #1: When I asked for extra ketchup, he just groaned and pointed at a tub of relish.
Clue #2: Definite zombie halitosis (i.e., breath smelled like fuzzy cheese).
Clue #3: Fingernail fell off while he counted my change. Zombie geeks, I cannot stress enough. Caution!
“ZombieZapper. . . . Seriously?”
Leo slammed his laptop shut. His stepsister Shelly was smirking over his shoulder.
“Shelly, what the—? Get out!” Leo sputtered. He tried to untangle himself from the mess of blankets.
“Leo, you’re late.” She tapped her watch with a sparkly fingernail. “I had planned to get to school early to organize my locker.” Hands on hips, Shelly took in the sight of her stepbrother flailing under his zombie-themed comforter.
Leo finally plopped onto the floor, dragging the sheets with him. When he looked up at Shelly, she had that determined look she got before she had to do something unpleasant. Like flushing a dead fish or cleaning up dog poop.
“Leo, you look like a troll. Did you even sleep last night? Leo—ooooh, gross.” Shelly felt something slippery under her foot. She bent down and picked up a plastic baggie with two fingernail tips. She peered at the bright green blob in the bottom. “Leo, is this a slug?”
“Gimme that.” Leo grabbed the bag. “It’s a sample. For science.”
“You mean for your zombie stuff?” Shelly’s voice was the opposite of impressed.
“I mean for zombie science,” Leo said. “This slug is a decomposer. It’s important to stage four of the zombie life cycle.”
“Don’t you mean death cycle?” Shelly was in the doorway now. She had her trying-to-be-patient look.
“Okay, technically—” Leo began.
“Seriously, Leo. Sweetie.” Shelly cut him off. Leo hated when she acted like his mother just because she was in seventh grade and he was in sixth. “Don’t you think it’s time to lay off the zombie stuff just a bit? Leo, I’m worried about you.”
Gag. “I’m FINE.” Leo got up and shut the door behind his stepsister. He listened to her click-click down the stairs. Even her footsteps sounded in charge.
“I bet I’d like you better as a zombie,” Leo said under his breath. Then he shook his slug out of the bag. He carefully slid it into a jar with air holes and a rotting finger.
CHAPTER 2
ZOMBIE ALERT
“Roger?” Leo called softly into his open closet. He kicked a mound of dirty underwear to the side and waded through a pile of notebooks. “Roger?” He held out the jar in front of him. “Do you have a second?”
With a whoosh, the back of Leo’s closet slid open to reveal Roger’s smiling green face. “My dear boy, what do I have but an endless stream of seconds?” Roger was using his fake British accent again.
Leo smiled. “Roger, you’ve got to be the weirdest zombie on the planet.”
“Half-zombie,” Roger corrected him.
Of course. How could Leo forget? Roger was touchy about his zombie status. As Roger liked to explain, he had barely escaped the zombie attack that wiped out his town back in second grade. He was not bitten by the zombie who’d infected him—only licked.
After that came what Roger called the “unspeakable time.” His parents and both his brothers had been fully bitten. Leaving home was the only way Roger could protect his human side. He drifted from town to town for a while. But then Roger got lonely. He started joining Leo’s T-ball games at the Rotfield Rec Center. Back then, Leo didn’t know anything about zombies. But he noticed that Roger seemed even slower than a regular slow kid at T-ball. And a bit greener too.
Then Roger’s ear got blown off by the wind at third base. Leo was the only one who noticed. But he didn’t freak out. Instead, he brought Roger home and helped glue the ear back on. That day, Leo became a zombie scientist.
Roger’s experience as a half-zombie was a huge help. “My heart still beats at least once an hour,” he would say while Leo took notes. “That slows the rotting process quite a bit.”
It was true. With glue, Band-Aids, and a few fake teeth, Roger might have been able to pass as a human. But what if somebody found out? Or what if Roger’s nose got blown off and lost forever? Or a dog bit him and became a half-zombie too? It was too risky.
For now, the two friends agreed the best place for Roger was working in their hidden zombie lab. Roger barely ever needed to sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom. The small, cluttered room they had built in the back of Leo’s closet served his half-zombie needs well.
A tower of machines hummed, beeped, and blinked along one wall of the lab. Shelves along another wall held rows of fizzing tubes and bubbling beakers. Above those were tangles of plants and herbs. Rubber gloves, droppers, lab coats, microscope parts, and jars of pills and powders oozed from a cabinet in the corner.
It was no wonder the lab was so stuffed. The two friends had been adding to it for more than four years now. Leo and his best (100% human) friend, Chad, had recently added a merchandise section to Leo's Zombie Zappers Web site. Chad’s homemade zombie T-shirts were selling so fast Chad could barely keep them in stock. Now they could afford supplies whenever they needed them.
Roger plopped down on a box labeled “Caution: Hazardous Materials.” “How’s my finger?” he asked. He waved a four-fingered hand toward the jar Leo was holding. “Any luck with the Mucinus maximus?”
“Nothing so far,” Leo said. He handed the jar to Roger. The bright green slug was curled up on Roger’s middle knuckle. “The skin on the finger might turn purple before it turns pink,” Leo added. “That’s what I read online.”
“Roger that,” Roger said, grinning.
Leo groaned. “You seriously are the weirdest zombie ever.” He stepped back into the closet to leave and slipped on the pile of notebooks.
�
�Half-zombie!” Roger said. He pulled Leo up by an elbow.
“Half-zombie,” Leo repeated. Then he took off for school, late as usual.
Leo slid into his seat right as the morning bell rang. Chad flashed his notebook at Leo from across the aisle. “Will you be mine?” it said. Chad ran a finger across his chubby chest. He was wearing one of his recent T-shirt creations. This one showed a heart (a real one) dripping gore onto the words, “Be My Zalentine.”
That made Leo snort out loud. Chad added a fake burp. Leo looked over at Mandy Wagner to his left. This was when she’d normally roll her eyes and say, “Nice.” Or she might shove her desk over an inch with a huff.
But Mandy wasn’t even looking at them. She just stared ahead. Leo waved his hands in front of her face. “Helllooooo?” Mandy didn’t even blink. A pencil slowly rolled between her feet.
Leo gave Chad a look that said, “What’s up with her?” Chad shrugged, “Who knows?” and pointed at Josiah Sullivan behind him. Josiah had the same look as Mandy, only a line of drool dripped down his chin.
“Z-alert???” Chad held up his notebook again.
Leo felt tingly all over. Could it be? Were his classmates turning into zombies right before his eyes? Leo recorded more strange stuff in his notebook as the day went on:
10:20. Media. Mrs. Snyder stares at blank computer screen for whole class. DOES NOT BLINK ONCE.
12:45. P.E., swimming pool. Molly Fisher floats FACE DOWN for 45 minutes. Mr. Brown pulls her out of the pool by one leg. She barfs green water and walks away.
1:01. Math. Maddie Lee turns her head in my direction. Must be zombie. NO OTHER POSSIBLE EXPLANATION!
“What are we going to do?” Chad whispered to Leo as the two friends passed on the way to their reading groups at 2:03.
“I don’t know,” Leo admitted. “I mean, they’re not biting, at least not yet. Did you see any attacks?”
“Attacks of creepiness,” Chad said. “Did you see that stuff coming out of Jeremy Berry’s ear?”
“I need to talk to Roger,” Leo said. “He can help us figure out what’s happening. But for now, we need to protect as many people as possible. It’s time for Operation Zombie Code. Meet me by the flagpole at 3:13.”
CHAPTER 3
OPERATION ZOMBIE CODE
Leo knew he was a zombie expert. But outside the lab, he didn’t like getting his hands dirty. And for that matter, he really hated talking to adults. Or talking to kids he didn’t know. Or talking to a group of kids. And those skills were exactly what Operation Zombie Code required. This was where Chad came in handy.
“So here’s what you have to read.” Leo handed Chad a sheet of paper. “But first we have to get Principal VanSchlossen’s permission.”
“I’ll win him over with a sick armpit fart.” Chad pumped his hand inside his T-shirt to demonstrate.
“This is serious, Chad. Principal V barely ever lets kids do morning announcements.”
“But nobody can resist the charms of The Chad. Check it out.” Chad held out the paper and read aloud in his deepest voice:
“Fellow Students and Staff of Rotfield Middle School: You may be in serious danger. A zombie virus is likely spreading within our school walls. Do not panic! The source is yet to be known. In the meantime, protect yourself by following the Three-Point Zombie Code of Conduct.
“Rule #1: Do not touch anyone. No hugs, no high fives, no tagging, nothing.
“Rule #2: Do not make loud noises. This could trigger a zombie attack.
“Rule #3: Do not eat strange food. This includes school food.
“Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Stay tuned for updates from your zombie research team, Leo Wiley and Chad Romero.”
“Perfect!” Leo said. “Now comes the hard part.”
“No prob,” Chad said. He was already leading the way to the principal’s office. Leo could suddenly feel his intestines squeezing the ham sandwich he’d had for lunch.
Principal V’s door had a smoky white glass window. In an arc across the top of the window were gold capital letters that said, “EVIL GENIUS AT WORK.”
“Ooooh,” Leo groaned. He leaned against the wall and hugged his stomach.
“It’s just a joke,” Chad said. He stood on his toes to peek through the window. “He’s at his desk.” And before Leo could get more nervous, Chad was pounding on the glass.
The door creaked open slightly. “Who goes there?” The principal had clearly been in the middle of something. He glared down at them through tiny square glasses on the tip of his nose. A black rubber band kept the glasses on tight. It stretched around his fluffy ball of hair and dented the middle so his head looked like a fuzzy gray mushroom. He was wearing spotless white gloves. White cloths hung from his belt like a hula skirt.
“What do you want?” He spat a fine mist that sparkled on Chad’s curly brown hair.
Chad began, “Sir, we’re here because—”
“How dare you interrupt me when I am doing my work?” the principal said with a huffy breath. After a moment, he opened the door wide with one foot and waved them gruffly into his office.
“Whoa,” Leo said. Every wall was lined with narrow shelves from top to bottom. Each shelf held a long row of perfectly spaced pointy objects. And under each object was a number.
“What are those?” Chad whispered to Leo. He thought he could make out a white horse—a unicorn?—with the number 632 below it. Next to it was—another unicorn? This one had pink hooves. Leo’s eyes skipped across the room. Number 32 was, yes, a unicorn—a clear glass one. Next to it was another glass one with a purple horn.
“Obviously,” Principal V fake smiled down at them, flashing perfectly white teeth, “I’m far too busy to entertain right now. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of dusting the 700s shelf of my miniature unicorn collection?”
“Of course, sir. This will just take one minute.” Chad fluttered the paper he was holding. “We’d like to show you our important announcement—”
“What part of busy don’t you understand?” Principal V hissed, his pink tongue flicking behind his teeth.
“It’s just that, sir, it’s very important—”
Principal V leaned down and peered straight into Chad’s eyes. “What. Is. Your. Name.” It was a threat more than a question.
Chad coughed into one hand and took one tiny step backward. For the first time Leo could remember, he saw Chad unsure of what to say.
And just like that, anger swirled inside Leo. It scraped away his queasy fear. He pushed in front of Chad and looked straight into the principal’s small, mud-colored eyes.
“I’m Leo Wiley,” he shouted. “And we’re trying to save the school from a zombie attack!”
“Ahhh-haaa-haaa-ha-haaaa.” Principal V’s laugh came out in hot, sour blasts. Leo blinked as each one hit his face, but he did not step back.
“Yeah, that’s right, zombies!” Chad had recovered from his speechless moment and slung an arm around Leo’s shoulder as if for protection.
Principal V stood up to his full height. He smoothed the ring of cloths around his belt. “That’s ridiculous,” he snarled. “Now get out.” He whipped out a cloth and snapped it in the boys’ general direction. And with a blast of air, the door slammed in their faces.
CHAPTER 4
BACKUP OPERATION ZOMBIE CODE
"Good news.” Chad was sitting in Leo’s kitchen. He had tipped back his chair and was licking a Popsicle. Blue lines ran down his chin. He scribbled in a sketchbook. “I have a new idea for a merchandise item.” He held up a picture of a baby wearing a bib that said, “Zombie in Training.” “Awesome, huh?”
How did Chad do it? Leo wondered. It was like his best friend lived inside an invisible force field that bounced problems away into outer space.
“That’s great, Chad,” Leo sighed.
“I think it would work on those baby T-shirts that snap under the crotch too.”
“It’s good,” Leo admitted, but he was too worried t
o talk shop right now. “Chad?”
“Mmmmm-hmmmmm?”
“Backup Operation Zombie Code begins now.”
That night, Leo felt a little better. He and Chad had sneaked into the broken second-story window by Room 203. (Chad got in by climbing the dumpster. Then he opened a door for Leo.) They’d hung 175 copies of the Three-Point Zombie Code everywhere except the girls’ bathrooms. Leo fell asleep knowing he’d done his duty to protect his fellow students—at least until he could start working on a cure.
The next morning, Leo got to school on time. Or he tried to.
“Are you kidding me?!” Shelly screamed in Leo’s face before he’d even made it up the school steps. She was holding a bunch of crumpled fliers in her hand. “Did you even think of me before you pulled this stunt? How am I going to live this down?” Was she actually crying? “You’re coming with me right now to take these down, Leonard Francis!”
Leo cringed. “Shut up!” he hissed. How could she yell his middle name at school like that? “You should be thanking me for protecting you!”
Shelly grabbed Leo by the wrist. “Look at this!” She kicked the school doors open. “Look at what you’ve done!”
Leo searched his brain for the right word. What was it? Oh yeah. Backfired. Most of the kids were laughing. A lot of them were pretending to be zombies. This included loud moaning and falling on top of each other. Others were freaking out. This group was hugging and sharing lots of damp Kleenex.
“LEONARD FRANCIS WILEY!” Again with the middle name? Principal V’s voice boomed over the intercom. “Report to my office RIGHT THIS SECOND!”
Leo swallowed hard. He looked up at Shelly. Even she looked scared. “You’d better go,” she said. Then, maybe to be nice, “I won’t tell Dad.”
Leo knew a lot about dread. It still surprised him though. All the different ways it could take over his body. This dread felt like someone squeezing that dangly piece of skin in the back of his throat.
Zombie Field Day Page 1