by V. K. Powell
“I’m Detective Rae Butler. Sorry to disturb your morning. I need to talk with Audrey, privately if possible.”
Yasi placed her arm protectively around Audrey’s back. Rae caught a momentary flash of something as it crossed Audrey’s face—concern, pain? “Audrey can speak for herself. However, I’d prefer to stay.”
Audrey and Yasi stared at each other several seconds, assessing and deciding. The look relayed so much emotion Rae felt like a voyeur. Then, without speaking, Yasi poured herself a cup of coffee and disappeared into the bedroom.
Rae couldn’t stop the unedited words that rushed out with too much emotion. “That was impressive. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people communicate so clearly without saying a word. You’re obviously very close.”
Audrey placed a steaming mug in front of Rae without responding to the comment. “What exactly do you need to discuss with me? It is Sunday, after all.”
“Why does everybody feel the need to remind me of that fact? I’m aware it’s the weekend. Unfortunately crime doesn’t take a break, so neither do I.” Her words were sharp and unfriendly. Audrey’s failure to clarify the relationship with Yasirah Mansour bothered Rae more than she realized. It shouldn’t, but everything about Audrey affected her in some way. She sipped her coffee for a few seconds to regain her composure. “Sorry. I’ll get to the point. Did you visit a man named Jeremy Sutton yesterday?”
Shock registered clearly on Audrey’s face as she turned to stir sugar and cream into her cup. Rae tried not to read too much into the obvious stall tactic. When Audrey faced her again, she looked defeated. Rae placed her hand on her back to reassure her that she could trust and confide in her. Audrey’s response was not what she expected.
“Don’t do that. It hurts.” Audrey flinched as powerful emotions and pain coursed through her. It was the first time Rae had touched her, and she wasn’t prepared for her reaction.
“What did I do?”
Every nerve ending in Audrey’s body seemed to coalesce at the point of contact and beg for more. The feeling almost paralyzed her. Rae’s touch had the depth of a mother’s affection but was profoundly more sexual. She searched for an explanation. The sensations in her body overruled reason. She’d never experienced anything like this—and she couldn’t allow it now.
Audrey focused her awareness on the physical pain radiating from the injuries on her back. The discomfort was preferable to the unexplained feelings Rae’s touch conjured up. She backed away from Rae and immediately regretted her action.
“You’re so flushed. What hurts?” Rae stood next to her looking like she’d tipped the ashes out of Aunt Tilley’s urn.
“Where you touched me.” Audrey felt silly and light-headed. She had no viable excuse for nearly passing out from a touch. The truth poked at her insides, demanding release. “It’s my back. An injury from the assault.”
From the look on Rae’s face, Audrey knew she’d said the wrong thing. “Mind if I see for myself?”
At least Rae had focused on something tangible and not Audrey’s fragile emotional state. “You certainly may not.” The last thing she wanted was Rae Butler’s hand on her naked flesh, yet it was the only thing she wanted. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“What if it isn’t? Please, Audrey. This could be important.” Rae crossed her heart with her fingers. “I promise this isn’t a ploy to see your naked back, though I’m sure it’s quite spectacular.”
Audrey’s pulse doubled at the thought of Rae Butler looking at any part of her exposed flesh. However, if she resisted further, she would only increase her anxiety and extend the unannounced visit. “Okay, just a glance, no touching.”
Rae waited as she lowered the robe to her waist, tied it off, and raised her skimpy T-shirt. “Jesus H. Christ. What the hell?”
When she looked over her shoulder at Rae, her eyes had gone dark and cold. Her jaws worked in time to the kneading of her hands at her sides. She looked like she wanted to hit something. “Rae, you’re scaring me. What is it?”
“You were hit by a stun gun.”
Rae’s fingers traced a light path across her back and sent chills up Audrey’s spine. Then she pressed against a tender spot below her shoulders and the pleasurable sensation turned into a pulsing ache. Audrey almost came off the floor. “You’re touching.”
“The marks are pretty obvious on your lower back.” She gently touched the area again.
Audrey struggled for a response that didn’t reveal how long she’d withheld this piece of information. Any comment at this point should clarify the truth, not cloud it further. Before she could respond, Rae stared at her, brows furrowed, lips tightened into a thin line.
“You already knew.” The look in Rae’s eyes signaled more pain than accusation, as if Audrey had attacked her personally, in some way offended her sense of integrity. When she spoke again she clearly sought understanding instead of information. “What have I done to make you distrust me?”
Audrey was unsure how to answer such a simple question. She hadn’t done anything wrong, hadn’t violated any law or hurt anyone, until now. She wanted only to find answers—her way. It should be so easy to tell the truth. She couldn’t. Instead she watched with disbelief and apprehension as Rae reached for her cell phone.
“I need to call the lab to get some pictures of this.”
“Wait a minute.” Audrey pulled her shirt back down and squared off with Rae. “Hold everything.”
Rae stopped as her finger hit the Send key.
Audrey didn’t like this part of herself, but she had to draw the line. “Put down the phone, Rae.”
“Let me get Trevor on the way. We need to document these injuries.”
“Put down the phone.”
“What’s going on here?” Yasi exited the bedroom, her deep-brown eyes almost glowing with anger. It took a lot to rile her, but seeing Audrey scared and obviously rattled was enough. She stepped between Audrey and Rae, the sight almost comical. Rae towered over Yasi by at least four inches, but she didn’t back down. “Get away from her. Right now.”
Rae closed her cell and stared at Audrey—probably trying to figure out whom to address first—Audrey for her reluctance to pursue her attacker or Yasi for her threatening stance. “Why are you fighting me on this, Audrey?”
How could she convince Rae to let this go? Did she really want her to back off or did she want and need her help? No, she couldn’t pull Rae into her quagmire of a life. It might lead to other revelations she couldn’t and wouldn’t share. Audrey struggled for a compromise that would allow them both to get what they wanted. “If I let you take these pictures, you have to promise they’ll never leave your possession.”
“They’ll be evidence in your case when I catch this guy. I’ll have to turn them in.”
“Rae, you’re off the case. I don’t want to pursue it any further. There’s no need for photos. If you insist on taking them, you’ll have to meet my terms.” Audrey didn’t think Rae would agree. Without a case, photos were unnecessary. Rae would have to concede the wastefulness of utilizing city funds for useless “evidence.”
Yasi nodded and her stare dared Rae to question Audrey’s logic.
“Okay, you win.” Rae raised her fingers in the Scouts’ honor sign and started to reach for her cell phone, but a knock at the front door stopped her.
Audrey couldn’t believe Rae actually agreed to her conditions. She’d played a bluff, and Rae had called her on it. Now what?
“Why don’t I answer that?” Yasi said, shaking her head at Audrey and Rae’s stare-down. She opened the door for a Kramer Police CSI with a digital camera and evidence bag. “Looks like we have another cop-type visitor,” she called over her shoulder.
Trevor answered Rae’s question before she could ask it. “When you punch a number into your cell phone, hit the Send button, and the other person picks up, they can hear you. I asked the dispatcher for your location and voilà. Besides, I was in the area on another case.”
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nbsp; Rae waited until she and Trevor stood in front of Audrey before giving him his instructions. “Look, this is pretty sensitive. I don’t want anybody else to see the pictures you’re about to take, and I do mean anybody. When you finish, put the camera card in an evidence envelope and give it to me. Understand?” She obviously wanted to make sure Audrey was as comfortable as possible and that she kept her word.
“No, but since when does that matter? I do as I’m told,” Trevor said.
Audrey sat on the sofa and wrapped the robe as tightly around her as possible. Her insides quivered as if cold had settled deep inside her. Feeling lost and very much alone she took a deep breath and mentally distanced for the invasive touching about to take place. She seldom allowed anyone to touch her, especially not strangers. The only person in this room who had any idea of her agony was Yasi.
Without being asked, Yasi settled beside her on the sofa. “Here, sweetie, let me hold up your shirt.”
While Audrey clung to the robe covering her chest, Yasi eased her T-shirt up and Trevor snapped several pictures of the injuries to her back. It was taking too long and Audrey grew irritated with Trevor’s dawdling. The skin over her abdomen stung with cellular recall at the touch of fabric. She flinched, wanting desperately to remain covered but feeling the terry cloth like a weapon against her flesh. It was difficult to determine which was more painful and insidious, the stranger who touched her back now or the memory of another who’d defiled her before. Trevor dropped his hand to Audrey’s waistline and rubbed.
“What the hell are you doing?” Rae asked as Audrey lurched forward out of reach.
“Sorry, I was making sure there weren’t any injuries farther down. This one is pretty close to the waistline.” He pointed to the lower mark. “You okay, Audrey?”
“I’d appreciate a little warning next time.”
“All finished.” Trevor clicked a last shot and stepped away from the sofa. He removed the camera card, dropped it into an envelope, and handed it to Rae. “Anything else?”
“No, thanks, Trev.” When the door closed behind him, Rae knelt in front of her. Audrey could tell she wanted to touch her, to reassure her but kept her distance. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Are we done then?” Audrey gathered a pile of papers from the floor beside the sofa, shuffled into the kitchen, and threw them into the trashcan. The waves of emotion that she’d held back hit her full force. A strange man’s hands on her body, an appealing woman kneeling in front of her—the combination of revulsion and desire rolled through her like a blast of heat. She opened the refrigerator door and stood in the cool air praying it would ground her in the moment. Clinging to the sides of the refrigerator, she mentally wiped her mind of the images.
“Are you all right, sweetie?” Yasi asked, hovering nearby.
“I’ll be fine.” She stood in the cool air a few minutes longer before turning again to Rae Butler. “Now what?”
“If you’re up for it, I have a few more questions.”
“And if I’m not, will you go away?” The words sounded harsh and accusatory, but Audrey didn’t have the emotional energy to be tactful.
“If that’s what you want.” Once again her careless words had wounded Rae. Audrey felt the underlying turmoil as Rae seemed to struggle before she spoke. “There’s a good chance I’m wrong about this, Audrey. Maybe you’ve already told me everything that happened at the community center and I’m way off base. My instincts haven’t been great lately.” She coughed, a throat-clearing noise almost stifled by emotion. “I really need to know…if I’m wrong again.”
Rae’s confidence clearly had evaporated and doubt seeped in like water through a sieve. Audrey’s heart ached for her, so raw and exposed. What had happened in the past to make her question something so basic? She’d revealed a vulnerability that obviously caused her pain. Rae Butler didn’t trust easily. If Audrey diminished the significance of this moment, she might never experience it again.
As she stared at Rae her anger disappeared, replaced by compassion. No one had ever spoken to her that honestly about her insecurity. Rae touched her deeply even as Audrey tried to be her most resistant. “We might as well talk. You won’t rest until you have all the answers.”
She motioned for Rae to join her on the sofa and waited for the barrage of questions that she dreaded. Rae’s green eyes had turned springtime again, warm and open. Audrey wanted to surrender, to fall into that openness and let someone else help. Could she?
“If you knew your attacker used a stun gun, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Maybe she could tell Rae the truth, to a point. “I wanted to take care of it myself. You have no idea how demeaning and disempowering it is for people to consider you a victim. They look at you differently, like you’re at fault, like you asked for it.”
Rae didn’t speak for several minutes and her gaze scanned the room before settling on Audrey again. “I actually do know what that’s like. I was assaulted off duty once. And trust me, it’s worse when fellow cops look at you like you deserved it because you couldn’t protect yourself. I want to help every victim reclaim what was taken from them in some way.”
It wasn’t the callous response she’d expected from a cop or the meaningless platitudes of the near-strangers in her life. She relaxed, pleased and surprised that someone understood—that Rae understood. Maybe she’d misjudged her and maybe other people would be supportive as well. She hadn’t allowed herself to even consider the possibility, much less try to find out.
“Would you mind going through what happened step by step, please?” Rae asked.
Audrey recounted the assault, remembering everything and seeing nothing. The energy around her had shifted and become very dark during the incident. She’d tried to focus on her assailant’s feelings but had seemingly stepped into a storm cloud of static cacophony. It was frustrating. She’d agonized for days, warring with herself about telling Rae, and now that she remembered, her recollection wasn’t helpful.
“Do you know anyone who would want to harm you?”
“No.” She answered too quickly, without conviction. Calm down, Audrey told herself. Rae is only trying to help. She doesn’t know anything that can hurt you and won’t find out unless you tell her.
“Are you sure, Audrey? Think carefully. There has to be something.”
“I moved to Kramer a year ago for my job, and the people at work are the only ones I know. I’ve barely had time to get acclimated, much less make enemies.” Exactly what Audrey had wanted to avoid—Rae or anyone else delving into her past. Audrey read the apology on Rae’s face. She looked like she’d unintentionally wronged a friend and didn’t know how to fix it. At least she had the decency to realize she was being intrusive.
Rae reached for Audrey’s hands but stopped. It felt like the right thing to do, to comfort and reassure her for prying into her life. Audrey hadn’t been receptive to her touch before, and Trevor’s misplaced contact earlier had seemed to genuinely disturb her. How could she reassure Audrey and encourage her to cooperate? Rae sensed Audrey wasn’t telling her everything—maybe not about her assault, but about something.
The stun-gun marks provided the first real clue that someone had actually assaulted Audrey, aside from a shoe print of questionable value and a few nondescript bruises. Why the reluctance? Suddenly another possibility occurred to her. What if Audrey knew her attacker and was protecting him or her?
It made sense. Maybe the entire I-can’t-remember thing had been a ruse to give Audrey more time to fabricate a plausible cover story. She wouldn’t be the first person to risk her integrity for someone she cared about. However, this seemed a bit out of character for her. Audrey could’ve been seriously injured and didn’t seem like the kind of person to accept abuse and cover it up.
The look in Audrey’s eyes was not that of a lying woman afraid to be found out. It was the frightened stare of a cornered woman unsure where to turn. Rae breathed a little easier. She didn’t want to believe Audrey
was capable of lying, but reminded herself that anyone was capable of deceit when it served their purpose.
She doodled in her notebook as a list of possible suspects spun through her mind: an angry ex-lover, a jealous current one, disgruntled coworker, someone with a grudge against the mayor or city government in general. Maybe someone from her past. “So what about where you lived before? Surely you had time to make a few acquaintances, maybe even a few enemies.”
“There’s no one.”
“Are you sure? Nobody lives their life without pissing off someone unless they live in a bubble or don’t stay put for long.”
Audrey rubbed her temples and repeated, “No one.”
“Why don’t you give me your last address anyway and I’ll snoop around a little. If it’s somebody from your past, I’ll find him.” Crime victims often needed additional assurance that they’d be protected during the process. Maybe Audrey’s reluctance was about personal safety.
“What part of there is no one don’t you understand, Detective?”
Rae looked up from her pad. “But—”
“But what? You can’t resist the opportunity to nose around in my life? Isn’t it enough that this investigation can blow apart my present without dredging up history? Trust me, the mayor won’t be happy to have one of his staff involved in this unseemly business.”
Dumbfounded, Rae had no idea where Audrey’s anger or defensiveness came from, only that it was aimed at her. “Audrey, believe me, I don’t enjoy poking around in people’s private lives. Sometimes it’s the only way to get answers. If you’re hiding something, you could have been assaulted because of it.”
Audrey vigorously massaged her temples as the blood drained from her face. “I need for you to leave now. I’m not feeling well.”
“I’m sorry. What can I do?”
“You can go—and you can stay out of my past. It has nothing to do with this.”
Rae stared into eyes so vividly blue and full of emotion that they seemed to churn like ocean swells in a storm. She didn’t respond to the statement. She’d heard it too many times in other cases and it was often proven wrong.