Dori hated the nickname, which made her son sound like some sort of oil baron, but she’d never told Crystal that. Little Jim didn’t seem to mind, and considering all the other negative influences Dori worried about in the Devaney household, including prejudice against women, the nickname wasn’t important enough to challenge.
“If you want to stay here, we could bake those M&M cookies you like,” Crystal added.
The suggestion seemed out of place coming from somebody dressed in turquoise silk, but Dori knew Crystal meant it. She’d do anything for her grandson, including tying on an apron and risking her manicure in the name of baking Little Jim’s favorite cookies. Part of Dori appreciated that kind of devotion; part of her was terrified by its intensity.
Little Jim swung his leg harder, nearly upsetting his balance. “I guess I wanna see the movie,” he said. “But I don’t know about that ol’ boy.”
“Just meet him,” Dori said. “If you don’t want him to go after you meet him, he won’t go. I promise.”
“Okay.”
As quickly as that, the crisis was over and Little Jim skipped down the stairs. Dori crouched down and held out her arms for their traditional hug. Little Jim squeezed her hard around the neck, and she choked back a fresh wave of tears as she breathed in his familiar boy scent that always reminded her of fresh-mown grass. She hugged him back, careful not to give in to the urge to crush him against her. She’d never allowed him to see the depth of her grief at losing him, and she never would.
“I’ll go get everything ready for baking the cookies,” Crystal said.
Dori glanced up at her in surprise.
“In case L.J. comes back,” she added.
Dori watched her former mother-in-law walk regally back to the kitchen and felt an unexpected stab of pity.
ABOUT TEN MINUTES before nine, Tanner walked to the front parking area of the Prairie Schooner Motel and RV Park and searched for a spot to wait where he’d have an unobstructed view of the road. He chose to lean against a pole where he was shaded by a small but authentic-looking covered wagon that perched twenty-five feet over his head.
He smiled to himself. Here he was waiting for nine o’clock to roll around again and facing a whole new set of challenges. Yet he felt more prepared than he had twelve hours ago, more convinced that his plan was a good one.
He’d actually enjoyed spending the night in the clean but Spartan motel room and had opened his window to listen to crickets and the rumble of trucks on the access road. The lack of bellboys and room service was a refreshing change from his usual business trips. He’d never learned to appreciate the prestige of executive suite elevators and mints on his pillow at night. Being able to open his door and step into the fresh air appealed to him far more than a penthouse view of city lights and twenty-four-hour room service.
The motel owner, an old guy named Elmer, had seemed to know who Tanner was when he checked in, but Tanner had stopped being edgy about that. In the Dallas area he was known as the president of Jones Construction and a community leader, but here he was famous for only one thing. He was the man Dori had chosen out of Texas Men. After last night’s kiss—the second one—he was damn grateful she had.
A sedan with three little kids in the back seat pulled up to the front office. The father got out of the car to return the room key, and the sound of bickering surged from the back seat. The mother turned and shouted to the children, and Tanner winced as the children shouted back.
He couldn’t picture Dori screaming at her son that way, but he didn’t know her well enough to be sure. She’d certainly reacted with fury when he’d suggested the quickie marriage in Vegas. Tanner smiled to himself. And good for her, he thought. She’d been suitably outraged by an outrageous proposal. In fact, that might have been the moment he truly began to believe in a future with Dori Fitzpatrick.
But he was still on trial. He needed to get along with Little Jim today or the whole show was over. Tanner wished he’d had more opportunity to be around little kids recently, but his younger sister was too busy becoming a trial lawyer to settle down with babies, and his social life had been spent in the company of adults for the past ten years. He felt as if he were about to take a final exam for a class he’d never attended. But he was sure of one thing—with kids, you didn’t dare fake it.
To Tanner’s left, a block away, the white Sunbird appeared, top down. He straightened and took a deep breath. Jimmy Jr. might turn out to be an obstacle to winning Dori, but he was a manageable one. Little Jim could make or break the relationship. Tanner didn’t intend to forget that.
Dori pulled up beside him, and Tanner got his first look at her son. Tufts of copper-colored hair poked out from around his Dallas Cowboys cap, and his face and arms were sprinkled with freckles. His mouth, nose and chin reminded Tanner of Dori, but his eyes were the same shade of green as his father’s. Tanner vowed not to let an accident of birth prejudice him against that green-eyed stare.
Little Jim seemed just as intent on getting his first look at Tanner. Dori remained behind the wheel instead of leaping out of the car to introduce them. She turned off the motor, pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head and gave Tanner a tentative smile. It seemed as if she didn’t want to trivialize this moment with meaningless social customs.
Taking his cue from Dori, Tanner stood quietly without speaking or pasting on an ingratiating smile, and let himself be studied like a specimen under a microscope. The thoroughness of the boy’s inspection indicated he understood all too well the change Tanner represented in his young life. As the son of a couple happily married for forty years, Tanner could only guess at the mental gymnastics required of this little guy.
Finally, Little Jim finished his survey and gazed straight into Tanner’s eyes. “I bet you don’t know who the White Ranger is,” he challenged.
“You’re right, I don’t.”
Little Jim stuck out his chest and pointed. “That’s him.” He glanced at Dori. “Momma’s wearing him, too. We always wear these shirts on Mondays. Even if they’re still in the dirty clothes hamper. We fish them out and wear them, anyway. Right, Momma?”
Tanner’s amused glance flicked over to catch Dori’s reaction.
She blushed at this revelation, but she supported her son’s statement. “Yep. Just fish them right out and put them right on,” she said.
Tanner laughed, and to his surprise, so did Little Jim. Green eyes twinkling, he covered his mouth and looked up at Tanner. Some of the tension eased in Tanner’s solar plexus. Apparently, he’d just passed the first test by understanding the importance of shirts that must be worn, regardless of their condition.
Dori cleared her throat and spoke to her son. “This cowboy wanted to hitch a ride into Abilene with us. He’s never seen the Power Rangers movie and he realizes that’s a big gap in his education. What do you think? Should we let him go along?”
Tanner was taken aback that Dori was leaving the decision up to her son. Maybe she had her reasons for giving him that kind of power over this day they’d planned to spend together, but he suddenly realized that if Little Jim’s response was thumbs-down, he’d be left standing in the parking lot. He hadn’t considered that as an option.
Tanner met Little Jim’s assessing glance with an outward calm that he’d perfected for dealing with belligerent subcontractors and excitable clients. But inside, his gut was churning. Usually he could figure out what adults were thinking, but a five-year-old’s mind was unknown territory, unless he reached back to his own childhood for enlightenment. When he remembered what an independent little cuss he’d been at that age, he wasn’t comforted.
“I guess it’s okay if he comes,” Little Jim said. There was no arrogance in the statement, only an underlying uneasiness.
If Tanner had anticipated dealing with a preschooler on a power trip, he needn’t have worried. Little Jim wasn’t interested in challenging anybody’s authority. He was just plain scared. And Tanner didn’t blame him, poor kid. His first five years in this worl
d hadn’t been a model of stability. Tanner began to understand Dori’s single-mindedness where this tyke was concerned.
“Thank you,” Tanner said to Little Jim. “I know this day with your momma is very special.”
Little Jim nodded, his devotion to his mother shining in his eyes. Then he gazed up at Tanner as if he’d come to another decision. “Wanna ride in front with Momma?”
The concession, given so soon, took his breath away. “That’s the most generous thing anyone’s done for me in a long time,” he said.
Dori chuckled as her son unbuckled his seat belt and scrambled between the bucket seats to the back. “Don’t be getting a big head, Tanner. Little Jim loves riding in the back seat when the top’s down. There’s more wind back there. He’d do it all the time, except I refuse to look like his chauffeur, so I make him ride up front with me when it’s just the two of us.”
“I see.” Tanner opened the passenger door and climbed in. Then he turned around and glanced at Little Jim, who was grinning at him. “You’d rather sit back there than up here with this beautiful lady?”
Little Jim’s grin widened as he nodded. “Riding in the back seat is like flying.”
“The funny thing is, the front seat can be like that, too.” Tanner winked at Dori.
“No, it can’t,” Little Jim said. “The front seat is boring.”
“Not always.” Tanner caught the quick look of awareness in Dori’s eyes before she pulled her sunglasses down and presented her profile to him. Pink tinged her creamy cheeks.
“Buckle up, you two,” she said. “I’m starting the engine.”
Tanner settled in his seat and snapped the belt over his lap before glancing over at Dori. She’d pressed her lips together in an unsuccessful attempt to hide the tiny smile creating a dimple at the corner of her mouth. Tanner hadn’t felt this good in ages.
THE GOOD FEELING LASTED until sometime around four in the afternoon. Tanner was congratulating himself on how well everything had turned out as the three of them left the ice-cream shop located in an Abilene indoor shopping mall. They’d had lunch at McDonald’s and sat in a nearly empty theater to see the Power Rangers movie. Dori’s placement of Little Jim in the middle seat had been a wise move. The darkened theater was a tempting place with someone like Dori around, but Tanner didn’t think displaying affection in front of Little Jim was a good idea yet. Just having the kid accept him as part of the excursion to Abilene was enough for now. They’d taken endless pictures during the day, and Tanner had felt flattered to be included in a few. Now they strolled the mall in easy camaraderie while they worked off the ice-cream sundaes they’d just eaten. As they walked, Little Jim relived aloud his favorite moments from the movie.
“Momma, look!” He ran over to the window of a large toy store and stood transfixed at the display of deluxe Power Ranger figures and all their assorted gear.
Dori’s small sigh of frustration was subtle, but Tanner caught it.
“Can we go in and see how much?” Little Jim asked.
“You know we can’t buy any of that now,” Dori said. “It doesn’t matter how much it is. You’ll just make yourself feel bad because you can’t have it.”
Little Jim turned an imploring gaze up at her. “Maybe it’s on sale. A really big sale. Can we just see? Please, Momma?”
Tanner looked at Dori in surprise. “He doesn’t have any of this stuff?”
“Not anything so fancy.” She gave Tanner a look that warned him to drop the subject.
“Please, Momma? I don’t care if I can’t buy it now. I just want to look at it. Can I?”
“All right,” Dori said. “You can show me one thing you want Santa to bring this year. That way I can help you spell it when you write your letter to him.”
“That’s easy.” Little Jim marched into the store with Dori and Tanner trailing behind. “I want the White Ranger.”
For Tanner, the store was a bewildering array of stuffed animals, colorful plastic toys and games he’d never heard of. He really was out of the loop when it came to this age group, he conceded silently. Little Jim seemed to know exactly where he was going, however, and led them directly to the Power Rangers shelf. Once there he became totally absorbed, handling the figures with reverence.
Tanner stepped back from the display and pulled Dori with him. “I still can’t believe he doesn’t at least have that White Ranger. It’s his favorite character,” he said, keeping his voice low.
“I can’t afford it,” she murmured. “The custody fight put me in a financial hole.”
“I understand that, but what about his father and grandparents? I thought they were wealthy.”
“And very dictatorial. They don’t like the Power Ranger craze, maybe partly because I took Little Jim to the movie as a special treat last year, when I still had custody. They refuse to buy him anything to do with the Power Rangers.”
“That’s insane.” Anger boiled up within Tanner as he watched Little Jim caress the figure of the White Ranger and put him gently back on the shelf. “He’s just a little kid, for God’s sake. Who do these people think they are?”
Dori gave him a sad smile. “The Devaneys.”
“Well, they don’t have dominion over me.” Tanner stepped forward and crouched down next to Little Jim. “Pick out whatever you want on this shelf. I’ll buy it for you.” He had a moment to see the shock and joy register on Little Jim’s face before Dori yanked him upright.
“No,” she said, her dark gaze adamant. “Thank you, but no.”
Tanner frowned at her display of pride. “He loves those characters. I can remember loving G.I. Joe the same way. I still have that stuff packed away somewhere. That’s how we preserve a piece of our childhood, Dori. I can’t believe you’d deny him that.” He turned back to the boy. “Anything on the shelf. Pick it out.”
Dori grabbed Tanner’s arm. Her voice was low and intense. “Forget it, Tanner. He’ll want it all. Do you know how much money that would be?”
“Less than dinner for two at a five-star restaurant,” Tanner snapped, and immediately regretted it.
Dori’s eyes widened. “And how would you know that?”
He stood mutely before her and wondered if he’d have to confess everything right now, before they’d had twenty-four hours together. He’d blown it, and all because he’d suddenly remembered the rush of joy when he’d become the proud owner of his first G.I. Joe figure. And if anybody needed that kind of joy in his confusing life, it was Little Jim.
“You’ve taken a date to a five-star restaurant, haven’t you, Tanner?” Dori’s expression was stormy.
“Yes.” He waited for her to guess the rest of it. They hadn’t built enough friendship between them, let alone love, for her to forgive his deception. Everything was ruined.
She braced her hands on her hips. “I can certainly see what your problem is. I suppose your credit cards are maxed out, aren’t they?”
“Actually, I—”
“Never mind.” She held up a hand. “Well talk about it later. It’s time to start home, anyway. Come on, Little Jim.”
Her son looked ready to burst into tears. “I can’t have anything?”
“Not today, sweetheart. But Christmas isn’t so far away.”
Tanner felt like a jerk. In his attempt to do something nice for the kid, he’d brought more stress into his young life. And although Dori hadn’t guessed that Tanner was rich, she’d decided he was in debt. He didn’t like that conclusion any better. He put a hand on Dori’s arm. “Wait.”
“Let’s just get beyond this, okay?” she said gently. “We’ll discuss it later.”
“I’m not in debt. I—”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Please believe it. And let me buy at least one thing for Little Jim. I promise you it won’t break the bank. And it means so much to him.” Tanner was amazed that during the exchange Little Jim just stared up at them without saying a word. From Tanner’s small store of knowledge about kids
, he would have expected the boy to beg his mother for the toy. His silence was a tribute to Dori’s careful teaching.
Dori glanced at her son. Then she crouched down so she was at eye level with him. “If I let Tanner buy you a present, don’t expect that every time you see him you’ll get something else. Tanner’s in construction, like Grandpa Fitzpatrick, and he doesn’t have the kind of money your daddy and your Grandma and Grandpa Devaney do. So this is a very, very special occasion. Can you remember that?”
As Little Jim nodded vigorously, Tanner felt worse and worse. What he’d thought to be an innocent subterfuge was turning into a gigantic misrepresentation. He’d once thought it would be easy to tell Dori the truth when the time came. Now he wasn’t so sure. Ironically, everthing Dori had said was true. Tanner didn’t have the kind of money the Devaneys had. He had much more.
6
TANNER OFFERED TO DRIVE home, and Dori took him up on it. She didn’t trust herself to concentrate on the road, considering the disturbing thoughts chasing them-selves around in her mind.
While Little Jim played happily with the White Ranger in the back seat and Tanner dealt with the heavier traffic that usually hit the stretch between Abilene and Los Lobos at five o’clock, Dori sorted through her limited options. She couldn’t let herself become involved with a spendthrift. She’d seen that mentality a thousand times in people with sporadic paychecks. When the money came in, they spent lavishly until it was gone, giving no thought to budgeting for the lean times. Her mother and father had taught her how to avoid that trap. When she’d married Jimmy Jr., she’d thought that particular survival skill wouldn’t be necessary anymore. Now it was her lifeline.
If she married again and began another campaign to get custody of Little Jim, she’d need every penny to pay her lawyer. A man who allowed money to dribble through his fingers would be more of a liability than an asset. Not that she didn’t understand the impulse that had driven Tanner to suggest buying out the toy store. She’d had the same impulse many times in her desire to make up for her son’s suffering. Tanner was a soft-hearted guy who was new to the situation and perhaps overspending should be forgiven.
Holding Out For A Hero Page 6