Jillian squeezed her eyes shut and contemplated a long moment. Silently she called him every four-letter word in her vast vocabulary and then some.
“Valentine Vamp?”
She removed the finger poking his chest and stepped back, giving him her chin. “My best seller so far.”
“I can see why. You cut way down on material costs.”
Jillian inhaled sharply. Jack had always been quick on the uptake. He used to make her laugh until her belly ached. Now it ached for quite another reason.
Defending her livelihood and her company would always be her first priority. Barely There was her baby. The only family she had left. Her mother had passed on last year. “You didn’t seem to mind the other night. It took you less than a second to jump on top of me.”
He’d felt so very good on top of her. His long legs pressed against hers, his raw male scent enveloping her, his arms protective and tight around her. She’d never admit it to a soul, but every second in Jack’s arms felt like heaven.
“To protect you, damn it.”
Jack eyes darkened and his nostrils flared. She’d managed to piss off a man that never really lost his cool.
Jack was always in control, always rational. That trait made him the man he was today, but so often in the past Jillian had wished he would cut loose. She wished he’d walk on the wild side once just for the experience. Just to know that he had.
But Jillian conceded the point. She’d taken an unfair shot at a man who truly wanted to protect her. “I know. Jack, listen to me, I didn’t know that sleazy photographer was out there. I didn’t plan to knock on your door that night. I really was locked out. None of what happened was arranged.”
Jack paced the room deep in thought. Jillian stood against the wall, arms braced behind her, watching, waiting. Finally, he came to stand in front of her, his eyes softening, his stance more relaxed than she’d seen him. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, there’s nothing to be done about it. The whole town’s going to think we’re sleeping together now. Not the image either of us wants.”
The stab cut through her heart. She shifted her gaze away from him and his wounding words. “Am I that b-bad for your reputation?” It was as if she’d been cast back in time. She was that young girl again, not quite good enough for Jack Walker. She was back to being someone who could only cause him trouble.
“Hell no, Jillian. But this isn’t about me anymore.”
“Is it about that woman who kept bidding on you yesterday?”
The three of them had looked so perfect together—Jack, the little boy and the woman. Jack seemed to have real affection for her and it killed her to think so, but Jillian didn’t have any rights when it came to Jack Walker. She had no claims on him. In her mind, he was as off-limits as stolen lingerie designs. Jillian had chosen her path in life.
But there were times, too many recently, when she wondered about her decision to pursue her career. She wondered if she’d stayed, could she have seamed together a life with Jack Walker, making babies, enjoying Sunday afternoon cookouts and rooting herself deep into Hope Wells?
“No.” Jack scoffed, shaking his head. “It’s not about her. She’s not my girl.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” It was impossible to keep her voice light.
“Jealous?”
She had been. Foolishly. Ridiculously. Incredibly jealous of the woman Jack had taken in his arms and kissed under a mesquite tree.
She refused Jack an answer. “We were talking about reputations. You said this wasn’t about you anymore. And if it’s not about her, then what is it about?”
Jack filled his lungs and walked to the quarter-paned window to stare out. A beat, and then another passed.
Finally, he spun around and met her eyes. “It’s about me adopting little Beau Riley. It’s about me walking a thin line in order to qualify for a single parent adoption. It’s about me being the best option for the boy.”
Air deflated from her lungs. “Oh, Jack.”
She hadn’t expected this. Not from Jack. He was usually easy to read. There were never great surprises with Jack Walker. But this time, he had surprised her. She’d never seen such passion or determination in Jack’s eyes before. He clearly loved that little boy he’d rescued. No doubt Jack would make an incredible father. And now she might have destroyed his plans. “Do you think your chances are ruined?”
“Could be. After seeing that picture, who’d believe we weren’t having an affair? From the social worker’s point of view, how eligible does that make me? What kind of environment would I be subjecting the boy to—a bachelor with an active sex life?”
“Jack, your reputation is impeccable.”
“Professionally, maybe. But my personal life won’t win any awards. I’ve had my share of… never mind. Then my live-in fiancée left me and now it appears I’m having midnight bootie calls with an old girlfriend.”
Jillian’s teeth dug into her bottom lip as she searched for answers. How could she get Jack out of this? She was drawing a blank in the get-your-ex-out-of-this-mess department. It was frustrating as hell. Her only option was to leave and hope it all blew over.
She lifted her Gucci suitcase from the floor and plopped it onto the bed, unzipping the bag with a quick slide of the wrist. Carelessly, she began tossing her lingerie in. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I’ll be out of here pronto.” She turned to him holding back a well of tears.
She’d been self-absorbed and concerned by her own needs and hadn’t allowed room to consider anyone else’s problems. “I never meant to hurt you. Not back then. Not now. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble. You have to know if there was any way I could fix this, I would.”
*
Jack inhaled a sharp breath. This had all happened within a blink of an eye. He didn’t know for sure his chances were ruined, but he’d always gotten the impression that Mrs. Givens was a traditionalist, believing in the sanctity of marriage, especially when it came to adoptions. The only thing Jack had in his favor with the social worker was his status in town as being a fair and honest man. Maybe he could explain the truth to Mrs. Givens. Maybe, she’d understand the situation and recommend him for adoption. If she didn’t, another couple was most likely waiting in line, a man and a woman, who’d adopt Beau instantly if given the chance. He’d lose Beau for good. How could he explain to the young boy, he couldn’t be his father? How could he disappoint the boy who had come to rely on him? And how could Jack lose yet another person in his life he had come to love?
Jack stood rooted to the spot contemplating. It was only when Jillian touched his hand, depositing the cottage key into his palm that he realized she was dressed, her suitcase was packed and she was ready to walk out of his life. Again.
He watched her throat move up and down as she took a deep swallow. Her hair had dried into long honeyed waves catching the morning light and caressing her shoulders. She wore a short, scooped-neck flowery dress and tall sandals that seemed to defy gravity. No doubt she wore matching underthings too, something she designed. Something that would make a man’s breath hitch and his groin tighten. She was beautiful and dangerous. She was better off long gone.
“Good-bye, Jack.” True regret rang on each syllable.
When he didn’t respond, Jillian hoisted her suitcase and walked toward the bedroom door. There wasn’t much else to say, was there? This was for the best. Her hand reached for the knob.
A crazy thought hurried to his brain. If there was any way to fix this, I would.
“Did you mean it, Jillian?” he asked quietly.
“Mean what?” she said, making a half turn and settling her baby blues on his.
“That you’d help me fix this if you could?”
“I meant it.”
“Then don’t leave.”
“You w-want me to s-stay?” Jillian’s voice cracked and she turned to face him fully.
His mouth cocked up as he gave her a nod. “Stay… and marry me.”
The suitcase dropped from her hand. Plunk.
She stared at him as blood drained from her face. Her eyes were big blue circles against a pale canvas. Yeah, that’s right… Jack Walker knew how to charm a lady. His offhand proposal got his point across, sparing no amount of sentiment. He was doing this for Beau. And for Beau’s parents.
Take him.
He’d do anything to gain custody of the boy. Including marrying her.
Wasn’t that what she wanted anyway? To restore her good name and reputation? To keep her precious company afloat? Getting married would solve both of their problems.
“You want me to marry you?”
His throat closed up. Was this really happening? Had he just proposed to Jillian? A dozen doubts crept into his head. It was a fool notion, but he didn’t see any other option. If Jillian agreed and that was a big “if”, somehow he’d make it work. “That’s what I said.”
Her gaze shifted away. She was gone, lost in thought, standing there, half in, half out of the room. An annoying twitch poked at his jaw. He held his breath and didn’t know if a yes or a no answer would break him out in a sweat.
Finally, her eyes lifted to his. “When?”
“The sooner the better.”
Chapter Four
“It’s nuts, you know,” Jillian said.
Of all the crazy things she’d wanted from Jack, a hurried loveless marriage proposal wasn’t one of them.
“I know.” Jack lowered onto the bed and spread his legs wide. Resting his elbows on his knees, he dipped his head and stroked his palms down his cheeks. His lips parted in a sigh and his weariness echoed in her ears. “Nutty enough to work.”
She walked toward the bed and sat down on her knees on the floor facing him, tucking her feet under her butt. Once upon a time, they’d sit this way dreaming of their future. Only now, Jack wasn’t cradling her head and whispering words of love.
“Is it what you want?” she asked.
His eyes brimmed with the truth. “What I want is to adopt Beau.”
Dear Jack. He was always doing the right thing. She couldn’t fault him for wanting to help the boy. “There’s no guarantee if I marry you, that you’ll get custody of the boy, is there?”
“I’d have a better chance. Are you trying to back out?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“If we got engaged right away, it would serve to undo most of the negative effect of the newspaper article. We’ll throw a big party for our engagement. We’ll convince everyone we’ve fallen in love again. They should buy that. There are a lot of people in town who still remember that we once dated. We’d make it seem real.”
“You’re willing to use deception?” Deep down, she blamed herself for that transgression too, putting him in the position to deceive just about everyone he knew.
He gave a quick nod and his lack of hesitation told her how very much he wanted to adopt Beau Riley and become his father. Jack didn’t lie. Well, maybe only to himself, but Jillian could never convince him of that, back in the day. When he’d told her he wanted to be with her no matter what, Jillian thought he’d believed it in his heart. But leaving town and not following his path in life, not becoming Sheriff Jack Walker, wouldn’t have suited him. Jillian had been smart enough to know that.
“Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? For me to act on my wild side? For me to do something crazy. Well, I’m offering crazy.”
So, marrying her would be wild and crazy? He’d never know how much that stung. Even she had to admit the situation was a catch twenty-two. Both would get what they wanted, but somehow it all seemed unsettling and disingenuous and she’d have to live with the fact that coming back to town had caused this mess. “You love Beau that much?”
He didn’t reply and really there was no need. The answer was incredibly obvious judging by what he was willing to do for the boy.
“If it goes through, the adoption finalizes in a year,” he said. “That’s all I’m asking of you.”
“A year?” Jack put a time limit on their fake marriage? Jillian’s heart seized up.
She’d never been engaged before and, luckily for her, her relationship with Enrique hadn’t progressed that far before his family’s illegal dealings came to light. Now, with the Gazette headlines upfront and personal, the fine folks of Hope Wells had that to hold over her head too. They’d think her guilty by association, just like everyone else. And nod their heads in agreement, deeming their first opinion of her correct. She was nothing but a wayward girl gone wrong. When it came time to end her marriage, she imagined the entire town would rejoice. Good riddance to Jillian Lane. Jack would be better off without her. It would be just one more notch to scratch on their bedpost of indiscretions about her.
She’d once thought a marriage proposal coming from Jack Walker would be nothing short of heaven-sent. Oh, how wrong she’d been. But there was one person they weren’t fully considering. “What about Beau? Wouldn’t I be his…his mother?”
Doubt immediately crept into Jack’s eyes. It was clear he hadn’t thought this entirely through. He was so determined to give the boy a home that he hadn’t considered that Beau could actually become attached to her.
After a moment, his expression transformed and he pushed air out of his lungs. “I expect you’d be gone a lot. Working. It’s what you do, right?”
He was clear as a bell. He didn’t want her around. The less time she spent with them, the less misery she’d cause. Okay, she got that. It was a knife twisting into her heart, but she understood his reasoning. Jack was protecting the boy from future heartache. Still, the jab went deep.
“Yes…that’s true. But what if Beau doesn’t like me?”
Jack shook his head in a familiar way. He’d never believed anyone wouldn’t like her once they got to know her.
Mrs. Jeffries sneered at me again when I was buying groceries.
Billy Springer tripped me on purpose outside the diner.
Loretta Woodburn laughed at my patched jacket in study hall.
She would confide in Jack her innermost feelings and he’d find a way to make her feel better about herself. Mrs. Jeffries had a permanent disfigurement and looked at everyone that way. Billy Springer was clumsy as an ox. Loretta had a nervous giggle she couldn’t contain. Drove everyone batty.
Jack saw the good in people. Even her, once upon a time.
“Beau likes me,” Jack said. “That has to be enough for now.”
Oh. Sweeping sadness struck her like a blunt blow to the heart. Jack wasn’t going to console her and make her feel better this time. He wasn’t going to find a positive to her negative. He wasn’t going to make her bumpy road smooth again.
She’d lost something very special with him. Something she’d never regain and how very heartbreaking that was.
Years ago, she’d blamed her mom for everything bad in her life, especially her father’s leaving them behind to fend for themselves. Much later, she’d learned the truth. Her father had been a miserable, verbally abusive man. And her mother’s drinking problem stemmed from his abandonment. Jillian had been too young to see it then. Her mom had loved her, but she certainly wasn’t mother of the year. Not by a long shot. There were times when Jillian hated her for being the town drunk, for her lack of mothering skills, for never putting her daughter above her need for the next drink.
Shame had become ingrained in Jillian’s soul, etched so deeply she couldn’t purge it out. When she’d left Hope Wells, the weighty burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She’d been freed. She could start fresh. The world was hers for the taking. No one knew her business. Her family life was private. She didn’t have to feel ashamed of her mother. Jillian Lane was just one more gal trying to hit it big in the city.
Leaving Jack behind had been her only regret. She’d left him along with all of her other baggage. The best thing she could do for him now would be to run out again. Leave town and never come back. But he wanted the boy and, somehow, she owed him that
.
But how could she assume the delicate role of mother to an orphaned boy? She wasn’t exactly cut out for motherhood. She had plans that didn’t include a little boy and a man who could barely stand her. A man who held her responsible for his heartache years ago and blamed her for ruining his chances of adopting Beau now.
After her disastrous love affair with Enrique, she’d pretty much sworn off men. But that didn’t stop her from coming to Hope Wells, to use Jack and his good reputation for her own gain.
“It’s just that I’m not sure I’m the best candidate for the job.”
“Job?” Jack scratched his neck. “Well now, being as you’re the only other person in that newspaper photo, Jillian, I don’t think I can switch out another woman to replace you.”
She put her head down and stared at the ground. Jack was right. He couldn’t very well introduce another woman as a love interest and possible marriage prospect with that telling picture of them splashed across the front page.
“I’ll do it,” she said. Heaven help her, she was digging herself into another hole. “I’ll marry you… but I have a few conditions.”
*
As the sun dipped on the horizon, a magenta sky cast a sheet of warm color over the land. Jack liked this time of the year best, when the sun’s descent hinted at cooler air and dark shadows of dusk. He parked his patrol car alongside his cousin Trey’s house and removed his sunglasses. Standing firm on 2 Hope Ranch soil, he took a solid breath and glanced around the prosperous, but humble ranch his cousin had managed to save. Horses whinnied from the stables and the familiar scent of cowhide and leather made its way to Jack’s nose. He didn’t mind the smell some considered god-awful. He wasn’t a stranger to ranch living. Though he’d always lived in the residential part of town, most of his friends as well as Trey were ranchers.
He climbed the steps and knocked. Maddie, Trey’s wife, opened the door. Her face flushed and her eyes twinkling, she greeted him wearing a bubblegum pink apron and a sweet smile. “Hey, Jack. How’re you doing?”
Loving the Texas Lawman Page 4