She wanted to yell out for him to be safe. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. But she didn’t want to distract him, and she was busy praying for his safety.
She promised God just about anything He could possibly want if only He would keep Zane safe. She twisted the reins and willed her strength into Zane. Then she stopped breathing.
Zane’s horse walked into the river and immediately stumbled. The animal righted itself, but not before Phoebe died at least twice. Zane guided the animal through the swirling water. When the horse began to swim, she thought she was going to faint.
“What’s going— Holy shit,” Maya breathed as she rode up next to Phoebe. “No way we’re crossing that.”
Phoebe didn’t speak. She was too busy watching Zane. His horse went sideways two feet for every foot it moved forward, but finally it could reach ground, and it surged out the other side.
He took off his hat and waved it. “Piece of cake,” he yelled.
“Talk about a liar,” Maya muttered.
Twenty minutes later, Zane had ridden across the river to their side and rejoined them. A quick search of the banks found a nice low place to head into the water with a gradual bank on the other side.
“Here’s how we’re going to do it,” Zane said as he rode up next to Phoebe. “Chase will go in first, then you. Manny will follow. I want the steer on your left, so he’s downstream. If he loses his footing, I don’t want him falling into you. Understand?”
She nodded because she was too scared to speak.
“Chase will be downstream of you both, so if something happens, relax. He’ll catch you. Trust Rocky. He has long legs, and he’ll only have to swim for a few feet.” Zane hesitated. “You probably won’t like what it feels like when he’s swimming, but don’t panic. Hold on to the saddle and go with it. He’s strong, and he wants to get to the other side as much as you do.”
Zane’s fierce expression softened a little. “You can do this, Phoebe.”
She looked at Manny and the other steers milling behind him. They were all counting on her, and she wasn’t going to let them down.
“I’ll be fine,” she lied.
“Good. Now let me go tell everyone else what we’re doing.”
Phoebe only half listened while Zane explained the plan. He, Chase and Reilly would be downstream, while Martin, Thad and Maya would ride upstream of the herd. He warned them that the water was cold, to trust their horses and head for the bank. Then it was time to head out.
Phoebe waited for Chase to lead the way. When he hit the water, he started swearing. His combinations were so colorful that she started to laugh...right up until the icy river reached her feet and instantly soaked her boots. It was even colder than the last time.
The water sucked the breath right out of her. She wanted to turn back and say she couldn’t do this, but she didn’t. Instead she thought of Zane, of Manny and all the steers. She had to be brave. This mattered.
As Rocky moved forward, she turned to see Manny entering the water. The steer stopped. Phoebe reined in Rocky.
“Come on, Manny,” she called. “You can do it.”
The steer shuddered, then slowly moved toward her.
“That’s it,” she yelled. “Manny. Come on, big guy. Race you to the other side.”
The next few steers entered the water.
Phoebe was so intent on urging Manny forward that she forgot to watch where they were going. Suddenly Rocky stumbled, then lurched. She was nearly thrown.
“Phoebe!”
She heard Zane cry out, but she couldn’t answer. She reached for the saddle, the reins, anything. But her cold fingers wouldn’t cooperate. She felt herself falling into the icy, rushing water.
“Chase!” Zane yelled.
“I see her. Phoebe, grab on.”
She was trying. Desperately. She scrambled to stay in the saddle. She could almost reach the edge of the leather, but just then Rocky began to swim. The change in movement made her slip more.
Something large hit her in the back of the thigh, and she was thrust forward and up. Her fingers grabbed for the saddle, and this time she connected with the wet, slippery leather. She regained her balance. It was only when she was hanging on that she was able to glance down and see Manny right next to her horse. The old steer looked up, and in that second, Phoebe would swear that he was smiling.
Just as Rocky and Manny dragged themselves out of the water on the far bank, a group of riders appeared at the top of the hill. The Strykers had arrived. There was little for them to do, other than wait while the bedraggled riders made their way across the creek, one by one.
The oldest brother—Rafe, she thought—handed her a heavy blanket to drape over her shoulders. When that was in place, he passed over a thermos of coffee.
“Th-thank you,” she said.
“Looked like we might have to call search and rescue there for a minute,” he said.
“You saw that?”
“First time I ever saw a steer save somebody.” He patted her back and left her so he could bring coffee to the others.
The hot liquid warmed her hands and stomach and eased some of her shaking. The blanket was old and musty, but at this point she wouldn’t care if she had to share it with an entire mouse family.
How nice to live in a town where you could count on people to help when help was needed, she thought. Fool’s Gold was that kind of place. Back at Reilly’s house, there’d been no question about whether the Strykers would jump in, only about whether they would get there in time.
Phoebe watched the last of the cattle reach the safe side of the river. No matter how cold she was, she knew she would never forget this day or the knowledge that she’d made a difference. They all had.
* * *
“IT STOPPED RAINING,” Lucy said from her seat by the window. “Maybe they’ll be back soon.”
C.J. patted the sofa cushion next to her. “Thad said they’d call when they were heading back.”
Lucy sighed, then walked toward her. “Are they okay?”
C.J. ignored the fear inside of her and nodded. “Sure. They’re fine. Zane’s been a cowboy all his life. He’s not going to let anything happen to anyone.”
Lucy’s light brown eyes filled with tears. “Promise?”
Without thinking, C.J. held open her arms. Lucy rushed into her embrace. Tommy, sitting next to her, snuggled close.
“I don’t want Thad to drown,” the boy whispered.
“It’s just a little rain,” C.J. told him, trying not to think about flooding streams or snow runoff. “I’m sure they’ll be wet and cold, but they’ll survive. You’ll see. And when they all get back here, we’ll listen while they tell us everything.”
Both children stared at her. C.J. willed them to believe her or at least to pretend to. Keeping up her spirits and acting calm when all she wanted to do was pace sucked up a lot of energy.
Lucy burrowed into her side. “Okay,” the girl whispered. “Want to read us a story?”
“Sure.”
Tommy stood and raced off to get a book from the library. They’d found a stash of them there earlier that morning. Probably leftovers from when the old man’s grandson had been little.
While the boy was gone, C.J. smoothed Lucy’s hair off her face.
“You need to think good thoughts,” she said. “Sometimes that helps.”
“Not always,” the child told her.
C.J. stared into Lucy’s face and knew the girl had seen things she, C.J., could never imagine. She and her brother had faced horrors no child should have to deal with. And if she and Thad didn’t do something, they would return to a life in hell.
Her throat tightened, and her voice got thick.
“I always wanted a little baby of my own,” she said softly. “Not because babies are that special, but because I never thought I was very good with children. You know? I don’t ever know what to say or how to act. I thought if I had a baby, I would raise it so that it knew I loved it, ev
en when I made a mistake.”
Lucy looked away. “Yeah. A lot of people want babies.”
“Sometimes what we want isn’t the right thing for us to have,” C.J. continued. “There was this boy I really liked in high school. I desperately wanted him to ask me out, and when he didn’t, I thought I would die. I was so heartbroken. Then I met Thad, and I loved him so much more than that other boy. It turned out he loved me, too, and he wanted to marry me. If I’d gone out with the first boy, I would have gone to a different college, and I never would have met Thad. So not getting what I thought I wanted was a good thing. Does that make sense?”
Lucy stared at her. “I guess. Maybe.”
C.J. stroked her cheek. “I thought I wanted a baby. If I’d had one, or if Thad and I had adopted one, we never would have come on this cattle drive. We never would have met you and Tommy.”
The hope in Lucy’s eyes was so bright, it was painful to see.
“You mean not getting what you wanted was a good thing?” she asked quietly, almost fearfully.
“Absolutely,” C.J. told her, then hugged her close. “I want you and Tommy to come live with us. I may not always do the right thing or say the right thing, but that’s because I’ve never been a mom before. It’s not because I don’t care. Can you remember that?”
Lucy nodded, then caught her breath on a sob.
Tommy walked back in the living room. “What?” he asked as he set down his book. “What happened?”
“I told Lucy that I’d like you two to come live with me and Thad.”
Tommy’s smile was pure joy. He whooped loudly and flung himself at C.J. She felt herself being crushed and strangled by skinny little kid arms. Their warm bodies pressed close. Life had never been so good.
* * *
THE CATTLE MADE it to higher ground by sunset. Wet, tired and shivering with cold, the riders rode through the growing darkness, back to Reilly’s house.
The Strykers had volunteered to stay with the herd, and Zane had gladly accepted. He considered getting everyone warm and fed his priority.
Three hours after Phoebe had nearly fallen in the river, he still couldn’t draw in a full breath. When she’d slipped, he’d known he could never survive losing her. If she’d been hurt, or worse, it would have been his fault. All of it. Because he’d been so determined to teach Chase a lesson. The irony was Zane had been the one to learn a thing or two in the past week.
He checked his cell phone, and when they were within range of a tower, he handed it over to Reilly who called to let the folks at the house know they were on their way back.
The moon rose in a clear sky, allowing them to see the trail back. The horses sensed their destination and cantered the last five miles.
Zane and his crew arrived wet, tired, hungry and proud. C.J., the kids, Andrea, Matilda, Eddie and Gladys greeted them. Danny and Chase took the horses. Zane helped Maya down from her horse, then reached for Phoebe. He was stunned when he felt her cold, soaked clothes.
“Run a bath,” he yelled to the housekeeper. He turned back to Phoebe. “Can you feel your toes?”
“No, and I don’t want to. They’re going to hurt.”
Maya came over and wrapped an arm around her. “Don’t sweat it, Zane. I’ll make sure she gets warmed up. See what happens when you cross a river. When I get back to the city, I’m not leaving my house for at least six weeks. And I’m going to spend all my time ordering things delivered. There will be no roughing it for me.”
Phoebe shivered as she walked toward the house. “I liked it. It was all very exciting. Well, not the river, but the rest of it. Wasn’t Manny brave? And he saved my life. I need to get him a gift. What do you think he’d like?”
“His balls back.”
Zane followed them into the house. He found Martin, Reilly and Thad telling the women what had happened. They stopped talking when he entered and surrounded him.
“That was great, Zane,” Martin said. “Talk about an adventure.”
“I’ve never experienced anything like this,” Thad said, as he wiped mud from his face. He turned to his wife. “Honey, you should have been there. The water was rising, the cattle were restless. I wasn’t sure we were going to make it.”
“You could try to sound a little less excited about dying,” C.J. told him.
Thad grinned and caught her up in his arms. “I missed you and the kids.”
“We missed you, too.”
“You did good, Zane,” Gladys said, drawing his attention away from Thad and C.J.
Zane shook his head. “I messed up big-time. I’m sorry.”
Gladys brushed off the apology. “You might think you’re perfect, son, but that’s not the case. You’re just as flawed as the rest of us. And you know how to show folks a good time. Eddie and I will never forget this vacation. In fact, if you want to do it again next year, count us in.”
“That’s right,” Martin said. “Only no rain.”
Zane held up his hands. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Everyone laughed and talked. Zane backed out of the room and turned to go help in the barn. As he reached for the front door, it opened and Chase stepped inside.
“The horses are all in stalls,” he said. “Danny’s going to rub them down and feed them. I’m going to change my clothes, then I’ll head back out to help him.”
“I’ll go with you.”
They walked toward the stairs. At the foot, Zane paused and touched his brother’s arm. “You did good today.”
Chase shook his head. “No, Zane. I made a big mistake. Phoebe could have died out there. We could have lost the steers. All because I pulled some stupid stunt. I’m sorry.”
Zane’s throat tightened. He tried to speak but couldn’t. So he wrapped his arms around Chase and pulled him close.
“It’s okay,” he managed at last, his voice hoarse. “I screw up all the time, too. The thing is, I never let you see that.”
Chase hugged him back. “For real?”
They straightened and stared at each other. He quickly told Chase the story of the stallion and how their father had reacted.
“I didn’t want you to have regrets,” Zane said. “Not like I did. But I’ve been so busy trying to save you, I’ve made your life hell.”
His brother’s eyes filled with tears. “Thanks.”
“You’re a good kid.” He shook his head. “Sorry. A good man. I’m proud you’re my brother and...” He hesitated for a second. “I love you, Chase.”
His brother sucked in a breath, then hugged him tight. “I love you, too, Zane.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
PHOEBE SANK ONTO the top stair and stared down to the great room below. When Zane and Chase hugged, she felt as if her heart was going to overflow with emotion. Or maybe she would just burst into tears.
“Are you coming or what?” Maya asked from the doorway to their bedroom. “There’s a bath waiting for you. I think you have hypothermia, Phoebe. You’ve got to get warmed up.”
It was true that every part of her body shivered and ached and that she couldn’t much feel her feet or hands, but none of that mattered.
“They’re going to be okay,” she whispered happily. Knowing the man she loved was happy made her want to glow.
“Of course they’re okay. Now come on!”
Phoebe glanced back at Maya. “They love each other. Zane and Chase. They’re hugging.”
Maya moved over to the railing and glanced down. “That’s not something you see every day. I wonder what happened.”
“Zane forgave Chase. That’s all they each needed. To forgive and be forgiven. Of course Zane still needs to be forgiven from before, but I don’t know how to make that happen. His father is dead.”
Maya frowned at her. “You’re not making much sense.”
Phoebe rested her head against the railing. “I wonder if he’ll miss me.”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Sure. Back to my regular life.”
She tried to stand and couldn’t seem to manage it. Maya stepped behind her and helped her to her feet, then escorted her into the bathroom.
The tub was nearly full, and steam fogged the mirror.
“Take your clothes off,” Maya said, “and get in the water. It’s probably going to hurt at first, but it will warm you up. Do you mind if I borrow your laptop to check in with work?”
“Go for it.”
Maya left her alone in the bathroom.
Phoebe fumbled with her layers of damp clothing. As the steam heated her a little, she started to shake. Feeling came back into her hands and feet, and she wished it hadn’t. The first sensations were a tingling, but that quickly changed to a needlelike burning.
When she was naked, she stared at the water and sucked in a breath, then stepped into the tub.
The instant pain nearly made her cry out. She settled for a few whimpers and tried to regulate her breathing.
“It will get better,” she told herself.
After about five minutes, she found she could stand to keep her hands and feet in the tub. Ten minutes after that, she felt pleasantly toasty all over, and her brain had cleared. Unfortunately clarity brought with it hard, difficult truths.
She loved Zane. She’d probably loved him from the first time she’d met him. He was an irresistible combination of loner and lonely. She didn’t just want to take care of him, she wanted to crawl inside and heal him.
She liked how he was capable and strong, smart and at times even funny. He was quietly nurturing, taking care of others without them even realizing what he was doing. She wanted desperately to be the woman who took care of him. He was an honorable man, and how many of those had she met in her life?
But was there a future for her here? Oh, sure, she loved the outdoors and the cattle. She was pretty sure she could even bond with the goats. The thought of long winter nights spent with Zane thrilled her. But she doubted he would see the potential. Instead he would remember that she was the one who lost her belongings to raccoons and pitched her tent in a river. He would see her as frivolous and incompetent. He might enjoy her in his bed, but she doubted he wanted her in his life. He might say he loved her while he slept, but what about while he was awake?
Kiss Me (Fool's Gold series) Page 27