The Esoteric Design: Disbanding Hope

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The Esoteric Design: Disbanding Hope Page 23

by A. R. Crebs


  Aria looked down at herself. “I’m not…frail!”

  “Aria, you get sick constantly. You may be able to hold up in battle and get shit done, but you are destroying your body at the same time. You need to find a way to relax. And it’s not just your physical health. I worry about your…you know…mental stability.”

  Aria’s jaw tightened. “Is that why you are here? James asked you to check up on me?” She scowled.

  “What? No! I’m just discussing my concerns for you!” he explained.

  “Well, why don’t you just throw me in a straightjacket and lock me away already?” she snarled.

  “That’s not what I meant!” Aggravated, he ran his hands through his hair. “Gah! You’re so moody!”

  Aria stood, rinsing her mug out in the sink. There was a loud groan from the pipes, and the water abruptly shut off.

  “Shit,” Aria hissed. “Looks like Sapphire’s work in the Amazonian desert paid off. Water shortage.” She dropped the cup into the sink, spun, and leaned against the counter, folding her arms.

  “It’s not like I wanted this,” she whispered after a minute. “Any of this.”

  Troy lowered his head. “No, Aria. It’s not like I wanted it, either.”

  “Really? You wouldn’t have become a soldier like your father?” she scoffed. “I can’t imagine that you would have made too many different choices.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Troy twisted in his chair, looking up at her in disbelief.

  “It’s just who you are, Troy. There’s nothing wrong with it, but seriously…what the hell am I doing?” she asked quietly.

  “What is this? What’s with you questioning your life lately?” Troy raised an eyebrow.

  Aria gave a growl, her fingers slipping through her black hair. “Damn it, Troy! I’m fifty-two! I wasn’t even born in this city! I was born in Cherno! I had a wealthy mother and father who were of high status! Now, I’m not bashing soldiers or our lifestyle, but this isn’t what I was meant to be. Look at me! I’m supposed to be running my own company, wearing a business suit and shouting orders to scared interns. Or I should have my own gallery…or multiple galleries across the world. I’m supposed to be married with children, snuggled in bed reading bedtime stories. Instead, I’m living in a nightmare, fighting and killing people…killing monsters.” She rubbed her forehead. What was the point of telling him this? All it would do is anger him.

  “No, Aria, you weren’t born for this. But you know what? You are in this. You don’t have immunity to the rest of the world. No one does. Sure, you’re a classy gal…when you want to be, but that isn’t you. Maybe when you were tiny…but not now. You aren’t that little girl from Cherno. You’re the strong and brave Aria of today,” Troy stated.

  “Don’t be a hypocrite. You just called me frail a minute ago,” she sassed.

  “Come on! You know what I mean! I worry about you because you are far too hard on yourself. Look at you. You’re worried about the life you no longer have. A life you never really had to begin with. This is your life, Aria. I know you had parents, and they seemed really great, but you’ve got to realize that this is your family. James, Team Phoenix…me. We’re in this together and always have been.” He looked a bit hurt as he spoke, and Aria shared a similar expression. She didn’t mean to dismiss Troy and the others. She only wished she could have lived a different lifestyle with them all. Troy continued, sitting sideways in his chair. “You can’t dwell on living a double life; there’s just no room for that, but there’s no reason you can’t start a family. You’re not old. You’re far from it. Someday you can have all that. You can boss scared interns around, submit your paintings to that rich, fancy place down the street, get out and meet some intelligent guy. Not at a bar, but at some classy place. Resign from your position at Bio-Tech, and get yourself knocked-up. There’s plenty of time for that. Just…don’t let it cloud your vision. We’re dealing with a life changing event here. I can’t have you losing your mind worrying about things that never happened. Last thing I need is you dying on the battlefield because your head is stuck in a world that doesn’t exist.”

  “So I’m just supposed to ignore everything and worry only about the bodies in my crosshairs?” she quipped.

  Troy’s face fell. “Yeah. Just forget everything, Aria. Become a mindless drone and shoot and kill…because that’s all we do. Soldiers don’t feel anything at all, right? We’re just a bunch of stupid grunts,” he muttered sarcastically.

  “So what are you telling me?!” she shouted.

  “I don’t know! Stop worrying about everything you can’t control! Why are you worrying about babies and art galleries and getting married at a time like this?” He finally stood from his chair.

  “Because, Troy, at any moment you and I could be dead! And what will we have to show for it? What have we done with our lives?” she asked.

  He gaped at her in wonder. She was thoroughly upset. How long had she been dwelling on these ideas?

  “Do you really want to bring a child into this world, Aria? Look around you. People are dying everywhere! Civilians are constantly killed by warfare; your parents are proof of that. Sapphire is out there right now letting her creatures maul children to death. Would you really be happy knowing that you could die at any moment and leave a child behind to live the same miserable life you lived?” He placed his hands on his hips, giving her a stern look.

  Aria lowered her head. “I’m just scared, alright. So many what-ifs…buts….” She chewed on her lip.

  “Can’t worry about it. It’ll only distract you from things that are important,” he said a bit more gently.

  “And what is important? What are we fighting for?” she asked.

  Troy gazed at the light above him, thinking a moment. “Uhhhh…I dunno. What are we fighting for?” Truthfully, he rarely thought about it. Outside of the obvious reasons, Troy only fought because it was all he knew how to do. He didn’t necessarily enjoy killing people, but he also couldn’t see himself doing anything else, especially flipping pancakes at a place like the Syrup House. What exactly was he fighting for? Humanity? Was that specific enough for him?

  Aria lifted her head and locked eyes with Troy. “Dovian and Ivory.”

  Troy smirked. “Fighting for our friends?”

  “We’re going to bring them back.” She was dead serious.

  Troy watched her for a while, his mind mulling over the thought. “Kidnap them from the devil-child and bring them back here?” he asked.

  “Damn straight. We’re bringing our friends home,” she replied.

  “You believe Dovian hasn’t traded sides?” he asked.

  “I think he’s only trying to scare us.” She hesitated. “What do you think?”

  The man exhaled slowly, giving a shrug. “My gut is telling me that he wouldn’t really do the things he’s doing, but he’s still doing them.”

  “You always believe in your gut.” She pointed.

  Troy shoved his hands into his pockets, taking a deep breath. “Yeah…I always do.” Giving a slow nod, he added, “Okay. When do we start?”

  Aria gave an eager smile. “First thing in the morning.”

  The morning rain had done nothing to help with the overwhelming heat of the day but, rather, had intensified it with thick muggy air. Dovian wiped at his forehead, feeling sticky and uncomfortable. Though the cold pool behind his home was rather inviting, he had no intention of hopping in and enjoying himself for one moment. He didn’t deserve that. Still, his robes and armor were constricting, but he’d continue to wear them. There was no telling when Sapphire would need him again. Her requests were becoming more arduous, and he had spent the better half of the day overlooking the progress of the Roman soldiers and avoiding the luring advances from Lilith.

  He hadn’t seen Ivory. In fact, he hadn’t made much of a thought towards the woman. Dovian assumed she was safe and sound with Petey and Hector swimming in the lake, or she was possibly sitting by the fountain in her g
arden. The more the hours passed, the more she behaved like I’Lanthe. Dovian had to admit; it was a little unsettling, but he wasn’t sure why. Soon he would have to make an appearance for the woman. Undoubtedly, she was still uneasy about being left alone.

  Inhaling deeply, taking in the scent of old paper and stale dust, Dovian closed the large book in his hands and gently set the item on the desk before him. The lantern cast a white light around him but dimmed somewhat by his will as he lifted his head, listening. One footstep into the room would have been utterly silent to human ears, but he could place the gentle pressure of the ball of the foot sinking quietly onto the stone floor. Boots. The change in airflow altered slightly as the body entered the room.

  “I would say that I’m surprised you came, but that wouldn’t necessarily be true,” Dovian uttered in a hushed tone.

  There was the cocking of a weapon, the body movement becoming a bit more careless. One foot twisted over the other, and Dovian slowly turned to face his guest.

  “You know everything, don’t you?” Aria asked. Her glare fixed upon his dull expression.

  “Not quite, but close enough,” he replied. After a pause, he continued, “I thought I told you to hide.”

  “As if you thought I actually would,” she scoffed.

  “I had hoped you would have at least considered it. Instead, you show up not much more than twenty-four hours later in my home. Rather stupid, don’t you think?” he asked.

  Aria kept her weapon aimed at the Sorcēarian. He didn’t seem bothered by it.

  “If you think fighting to save my friends is stupid, then yeah. Pretty damn stupid.” Her voice dripped with bitterness. She was not happy with him, but he did not expect her to be.

  Dovian was silent, his mouth twisting into a frown.

  “But there’s nothing you can do about it. Whether you’re coming or not, we’ve got Ivory.” Aria moved to the side, keeping her aim on the man.

  Dovian’s eyes narrowed into slits of shimmering light. “Do you want to die?” he asked. The sound was a little alarming, but Aria held her resolve.

  “Do you want Ivory to die?” she asked.

  He gave her a questioning look.

  “She’s safer with us. You’ll only get her killed leaving her here alone with Sapphire and the demons while you are out destroying the world,” she said sourly.

  “And you will only put her in harm’s way if you take her. Sapphire will personally hunt you down,” he rumbled.

  “Goin’ to die either way, right? So what does it matter what I do?” The words were sarcastic and only annoyed Dovian further.

  “She’s safer here with me…with the demons nearby.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense!” Her attitude worsened.

  “You don’t even know the half of it!” he boomed.

  Aria swallowed, meeting his glare evenly.

  “I’m taking her,” she said defiantly.

  Dovian lowered his head, his hood shrouding his face in darkness. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  “Then kill me already!” Aria finally lowered her weapon and held her hands out to the side. “What in the hell are you waiting for?!”

  Dovian’s hands balled into fists as his mouth set into a firm line. Aria was so infuriatingly stubborn.

  “Huh?” she asked. “Look at you Dovian. Can’t even deal with one human woman. Why is that?”

  He avoided her stare.

  “It’s cuz you’re full of shit.” She shouldered her weapon. “Now, are you coming with me or not?”

  Dovian gave a short laugh. “Go with you? Do you really think that would work?”

  “Then what are you doing? Are you going to destroy the world? You’re really going to forsake everything you’ve ever done and been through just because of Sapphire? That isn’t you, Dovian.” Aria folded her arms, shaking her head.

  “As if you know a damned thing about me, Aria,” he said through gritted teeth. “You think I’m some angel, some protector of the human race. I’m none of that.”

  “No, I don’t think you’re anything like that. But I do know that the darkness isn’t you. You aren’t evil, Dovian. You never were, and you never will be.”

  “I destroyed my race…” he began.

  Aria shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

  She looked at his bookshelf, trying to read the Sorcēarian titles. She twisted her mouth, finding it odd that some of them translated just fine in her head. Perhaps it was some strange magic the books contained.

  “I think it’s a scare tactic,” she continued. “You just want people to believe you’re some big, bad Sorcēarian with magical powers. I think you’re nothing more than a person of circumstance. You were forced onto a path where bad decisions were made, where things happened that you couldn’t control. And you blame yourself. That’s why you said you killed them all.”

  “Now you can read minds?” he asked. Giving a menacing chuckle, he walked toward the woman, but she didn’t bother meeting his eyes. “You have no idea what you are talking about,” he whispered near her ear.

  “No?” Aria asked, spinning to face him. She lifted a book. “Because every evil Sorcēarian enjoys reading a book full of poetry about love.”

  Dovian snatched the item from her hand and shoved it back onto the shelf. He glared at her, but she smiled in return.

  “I can read you like a book, Dovian.” She sauntered over to his desk, looking down at the handwriting scrawled across the parchment of what appeared to be a journal.

  “I killed them all. It is my fault. I killed everyone.” He faced the bookshelf. Aria watched him, not reacting to his words. “All of my friends, my family, the elders, everyone.”

  Dovian flinched as Aria suddenly grabbed his hand. She gently ran her thumb across his knuckles. For some reason, the gesture was entirely soothing to him, and he wasn’t sure why. He let out a quick breath, relaxing into the touch.

  “Not I’Lanthe,” she whispered. “I know you didn’t kill her. You wouldn’t.”

  Dovian turned toward Aria. Despite the comfort she was giving him, he knew it was only going to cause more trouble for him. He needed her to leave, and he needed her to leave now. Any weakness he showed her was going to make her stay. And the longer she lingered in his home, the closer she was to meeting death by Sapphire’s hands.

  Dovian held onto her hand, squeezing it.

  “Aria…” he spoke slowly.

  “Come with us, Dovian.”

  Her voice held pity, was full of need. Her thoughts were running rampant, and her emotions were dancing around him like a fog. It was intoxicating. He hadn’t noticed that the storms outside had kicked up again, and the sunlight was fading. Rain pelted against the marble sides of his cathedral.

  She spoke softly, “Please.” It was a simple word, but it held all kinds of desperation.

  He locked eyes with her finally, and he felt his walls crumbling apart on the inside. Everything he had done was to preserve the human race. It was for people like Aria. She was not helping the situation. In fact, she was only making everything more complicated. He needed her to hate him, to desire him no longer.

  Dovian roughly grabbed her by the arms, jolting her. “Leave!” he boomed.

  She gave a sharp gasp. “N-No!”

  “I killed every single member of my race in order to save humanity. Don’t think for one second that I won’t destroy your entire race to bring back what I lost.” He ground his teeth together, fighting to keep from reading her thoughts. There was something off about her. Perhaps it was his overload of energy detecting it, but she seemed to have a firm hold on him with her emotions. “Don’t think for one second I won’t kill you and Troy because I won’t hesitate.”

  “You’ve already hesitated. Many times,” she corrected him.

  “No more. Not any longer,” he spat out.

  “Let me take Ivory…then I’ll leave. I’ll leave, and you can continue to live a lonely and miserable life all by yourself with Sap
phire and her monsters. Try all you want, but we aren’t going down without a fight, and we aren’t going down without making sure Ivory is safe.”

  “She will be safer here with me; you’ll only get her killed,” Dovian grumbled. His hands were still tightly wrapped around Aria’s upper arms.

  “And how is she safe here?” she argued.

  “TRUST ME!” he shouted. “She needs to be here. She needs to be by my side! If you take her, you are all doomed. Sapphire will only have you killed in an instant, and Ivory will be brought right back here. Nothing will be solved.”

  “But that saves you from having to do it yourself, right?” Aria pulled away from him.

  Dovian gave her a heated stare. “If anyone in this world is going to kill you, it had better be me,” he muttered.

  Aria was stunned by his remark. In a way, it made sense. He didn’t think they had a single chance at survival. Dovian thought that by being the one to kill Aria and Troy, he’d be merciful. Aria didn’t doubt that. He’d most likely make it quick and painless. Sapphire and her pets would be sure to make it slow and excruciating. She’d do things to Aria and Troy that were more horrifying than anything Euclid could ever imagine.

  Aria turned her gaze back to the book on the table. “So why don’t you just do it now, then?” she asked quietly.

  “Because when it comes down to it, I want Sapphire to see it,” he said. “And if you don’t leave soon, she’ll be here. She’s most likely already sensed your presence before you even entered my home. If she sees you, she’ll have you killed on the spot. She will have far too much fun ripping the flesh off your bones while you are still alive.”

  Aria picked up the massive journal on the table beside her. Dovian eyed her anxiously. “Fine. I’ll leave right now, and I’ll allow Ivory to stay with you. But…I’m taking this with me.”

  “That is nothing more than drivel. Useless words of an old, depressed man.” He gave a shrug.

  She gave a short, mocking laugh as she ran a hand over the cover. “Depressed. You forget something important, Dovian. Wings or not, you were born on this earth. You’re just as human as I am.” She walked past him and halted in the doorway. “You better promise me that you’ll keep her safe. No matter what.”

 

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